Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
"Listen To Our Great President Because This Is No Kodak Moment Like He Says!"
November 9, 2001
by Bob Boudelang

In the interests of fairness and impartiality, we've decided that conservatives should have a voice on this website. So here he is - Bob Boudelang, American Patriot, with this week's rebuttal...

Listen to me America! It is time we forgot all about the news and the LIEberals with their cries for instant gravitation and reason. This is not the time to think, but the time to act on the wise words of our Great President George W. "It's not one of these Kodak moments,'' Bush said. ``There is no moment to this."

Who can doubt what he says, except the tree huggers and the whiny Democrap Socialists, and the Moderates and the labor unions and the FemiNazis and the Pacifists and the Blacks, and the intellectuals and the college students and the gun grabbers and the public school pimps and the Hispanish and the atheists and the Jews (except for Ari Fleisher, who is almost as good as if he was saved) and all the rest of that tiny minority? The rest of us 90% true Americans understand that the struggle will go on long after we get Bin Laden if we ever do.

"We're truly a great nation, that we responded in ways that the enemy could never have imagined,'' said George W., and it is oh so true. Osama Bin Laden and Alkaheeda were probably counting that by now there would be Federal airport screeners who were part of a union, but they did not count on Tom DeLay and Dick Armey and the rest of the brave Republicans who stood up and said no to the horror of high paid professionals who would probably have voted DemocRat.

And I am sure terrorists in their dusty hideouts everywhere thought that we would crumble in the face of their attacks and keep high capital gains taxes too. Ha ha! They did not count on our House of Representatives, which did not run away when the Senate got anthrax so stop saying that.

And I will bet that Bin Laden was very surprised when Bush threw a strike at the World Series or called for penpals in the Middle East. That has to be his greatest fear, that letters will come from the Middle East to lots and lots of ordinary households in America. Then what good will his anthrax and smallpox weapons do?

Meanwhile there is good news everywhere. Our great attorney general John Ashcroft announced that we have "emerged victorious in the opening battle in the war against terrorism" and that "We have not suffered another major terrorist attack" if you don't count all those anthrax letters. And since they went to LIEberals, they don't count.

Meanwhile, I have stepped up my battle in the fight of the war on terrorism by getting a job as an airport screener part time, although they will not give me a gun. The pay is not very good but at least I got to poke anyone who looked suspicious with the metal detector wand.

Or I did until they made me give it to Fonecia, which was probably more of the bigotry of affirmative action at once, as she is black and of the Afro-Feminist persuasion. It had nothing to do with people complaining, so stop saying that.

Now I have to stand by the X-ray machine, which is pretty boring. I keep hoping it will detect some sort of weapon hidden in the bags and vaporize it automatically, but it never does. I spend most of the day staring into space, imagining what I would do if Osama Bin Laden tried to get on a plane. It would not be pretty, I can tell you.

I had been shouting at suspicious people "Hey, you look like a terrorist," but the airline people told me to stop. "Just stand there," said the supervisor, Mr. Washington, when he came out of the lounge to see what the fuss was about. "Let the machine do all the work."

It is inspiring to see our National Guard there. Like the Beancounters at Birmingham Palace in England, they do not speak when I try to talk to them and pretend I do not even exist.

However, there is still lots of treachery and backbiting in our great President's administration and elsewhere I am sad to say.

Just yesterday I was at the public library reading World Net Daily, where I was not thrown out but left of my own valician. No sooner did I get to David Limbaugh's column than I saw this horrible slander:

Well, who would NOT shout and curse out loud and stop reading if you came across liable like that? No one would ever have heard of David Limbaugh if not for his brother Rush, who is not getting fat again but just retaining water so stop saying that. And yet here is David attacking him just because he dares to tell the truth about how everything is Bill Clinton's fault. I guess he thinks that now that Rush is going deaf he will not have someone read it to him. Well, he better think twice.

And let me not forget the horrible voters in New Jersey and Virginia who tried to slap our great President in the face by voting Socialist Democrap in their so-called elections. However it has backfired and now they are stuck with the candidates they elected. That will serve them right and now they will be stuck with fewer guns, public schools and gay people with rights.

However, I am proud to say voters in New York City saw the lite and voted for the Republican candidate, who even though he is a LIEberal is rich. That has to count for something.

So to some up, America, let's stay united on the road we are traveling on down to victorytown over terrorism and DemocRats, despite the alleged election. Now is the time to stay focused and not get distracted by rights, casualties or morality. Amen.

Bob Boudelang is a proud American patriot who is happy to help make the airports safe from Federal employees. He is looking forward to seeing you while your bag goes through the X-ray machine by itself.

Read Bob's other rebuttals