Is Dick Cheney STILL not dead?

[jberryhill]

Has anyone checked lately?

[ProudLib72]

1. You mean, is he still undead

Is It True that Dick Cheney Has No Heartbeat?

Yes, it's true: Former Vice President Dick Cheney has no pulse.

Several months ago, Cheney underwent surgery to have a mechanical pump implanted in his chest which effectively took over the duties of his failing heart. Known as a ventricular assist device, the pump pushes blood continuously through his circulatory system instead of mimicking the heart's pulsations . Thus it leaves Cheney with no heartbeat.

https://www.livescience.com/33035-is-it-true-that-dick-cheney-has-no-heartbeat.html

[Corgigal]

3. What?

He's a zombie?

Still unfair.

[ProudLib72]

6. Yes he is!

I am as amazed by it today as I was when I first learned about it. According to horror film rules, he is "undead".

[hedda_foil]

13. He was a zombie but he got a real heart transplant several years ago.

[ProudLib72]

22. Ah ha! I had thought the pump was permanent

Damn. It was fun calling him a zombie.

[lastlib]

29. "Yes--it's true: this pulse has no Dick........"

[Corgigal]

2. And James Gandolfini is.

We need him now. Never needed shady Cheney. Rumsfeld still alive too?

Damn.

[Initech]

4. Lewis Black was right.

Good people die young, and pricks live forever! You want to live longer? Just be an asshole!

[virgogal]

8. I'm 83. I guess I'm an asshole.

[Initech]

9. Well I mean people like Dick Cheney. Pat Robertson. Donald Trump.

[jberryhill]

25. Well...

Tell us a little more about yourself.

I'm in my 50's and continue to believe, based on accumulating evidence, that my greatest days as an asshole all lie before me.

[Irish_Dem]

5. The American taxpayer continues to spend a fortune keeping this man alive.

He had advanced heart disease for decades, requiring frequent and expensive treatment and multiple surgeries including coronary artery bypass, stenting and angioplasty. He also had a heart transplant at an age older than usually allowed.

Cheney got the best medical care money could buy. And we paid for it. The rest of us would have died or gone bankrupt.

[JHB]

7. Please clarify "dead"...

In the technical sense, still processing biological consumables (e.g., oxygen, food, handmade lattes in Starbucks cups), then yes.

In human terms, ermmm, define "human".

[ornotna]

10. In other news

Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead

[Puzzledtraveller]

12. Lol

[Puzzledtraveller]

11. this is like the Mandela Effect

I swear he died.

[jberryhill]

38. No, that was Scalia

[Gabi Hayes]

14. An enhanced heartbeat away from the presidency

Used to live for these, back in the day

[Tiggeroshii]

15. No. Because Anakin Skywalker lives on in the force spirit.

[MrScorpio]

16. He's pining for the fjords.

[BlueStater]

17. He's always been dead inside, at least. n/t

[DFW]

18. Apparently

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[Rhiannon12866]

19. During the Bush* years, there used to be a website called "Is Dick Cheney Dead Yet?"

There was generally an update every day. But I did a search for it and couldn't find it.

[jberryhill]

21. He outlived it

Yes, a visit to IsDickCheneyDeadYet.com is what led me to ask.

[lamp_shade]

20. He's only mostly dead (from Princess Bride)

[kskiska]

23. He said he never even gave a thought to his heart donor

(snip)

Former Vice President Dick Cheney says he is thankful for his new heart, but doesn't spend much time thinking about the person who donated the vital organ to him.

"When I came out from under the anesthetic after the transplant, I was euphoric," Cheney, who underwent the life-saving procedure last year, told Larry King in an interview slated to air Thursday on Ora TV. "I’d been given the gift of additional lives, additional years of life. For the family of the donor, they’d just been [through] some terrible tragedy, they’d lost a family member."

Cheney, who was "near death" when he received a heart pump in 2011 that kept him alive until the transplant, said he does not know the identity of the donor or the circumstances surrounding his death.

"The way I think of it from a psychological standpoint is that it’s my new heart, not someone else’s old heart," Cheney continued. "And I always thank the donor, generically thank donors, for the gift that I’ve been given, but I don’t spend time wondering who had it, what they’d done, what kind of person."

https://www.yahoo.com/news/cheney-doesnt-know-heart-donor-182242884.html

[jberryhill]

24. What a great humanitarian...

"The way I think of it from a psychological standpoint is that it's my new filet mignon, and not some village's old dairy cow."

[democratisphere]

26. DC has a bionic heart; he will live until the meat falls off the bone.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

27. He's still undead.

When he finally becomes dead for real, I will violate my own rule against grave-dancing, and I'll put on my ruby slippers, guzzle the best champagne I can afford, and dance the Macarena for days. And when Dolt 45 shuffles off this mortal coil - PARTAY!!!

[lastlib]

31. I will consume all of the diuretics I can absorb,,,,,,

affix a clothespin to a specific part of my anatomy for a week--then visit Cheney's grave and unleash the greatest bladder-dump in human history.

[jberryhill]

36. You're gonna have to outlive him first

And that might be the flaw in your plan.

[klook]

28. He lives on in reruns.

I used to wake up every day during the Dubya years, turn on the radio, and hope to hear the news that Cheney had croaked.

Hell, he'll probably end up as a head in a tank, living inside a carbon fiber carapace until the year 2100.

[notdarkyet]

32. Or with Disney in the cryogenic lab. They might get a private crytoriom suite for being rich.

[Ferrets are Cool]

30. The Evil Undead

[roamer65]

33. Hes still running on that stolen heart.

[Crunchy Frog]

34. How will we be able to tell?

[heaven05]

35. nope

still got someone else's heart beating in his chest...mother****** still doesn't have a conscience or or soul....the walking fucking dead.....

[lagomorph777]

37. Yes, still undead.

Only the good die young. He and Trump will be immortal.