Passenger drops farts so putrid pilot is forced to make emergency landing

[Xolodno]

http://metro.co.uk/2018/02/17/passenger-drops-farts-so-putrid-pilot-is-forced-to-make-emergency-landing-7320242/

The passenger apparently kept breaking wind on board a Transavia Airlines flight from Dubai to Amsterdam Schiphol last weekend.

The two Dutchmen sitting next to him didn’t take very well to his flatulence, but the unashamed man was apparently not put off and refused to hold back.

Members of the crew on the Dutch low-cost airline were apparently less than sympathetic and refused to do anything about it.

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Well that's a stinky experience. At least they don't allow smoking on planes anymore, that could have been an explosive hazard.

[Mr. Ected]

1. This is a textbook case of a large-scale Dutch Oven

Surprised they didn't deploy the oxygen masks.

[Kaleva]

2. This is why we can't have nice things.

[Initech]

17. Rancid, explosive diahrrea?

[Bayard]

3. Snorf!

Reminds me of the old joke about the elderly lady who goes to her doctor, and complains of constantly passing silent gas. What can you do, Doc? He says, first thing we're going to do is check your hearing!


I actually had a guy sitting next to me do this once when I was flying from CA back across country to my folks. Thought I was gonna die. Soon as I could, I got up and found an empty seat elsewhere.

[PJMcK]

4. Steve Martin nailed it years ago

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=steve+martin+mind+if+i+fart&qpvt=steve+martin+mind+if+i+fart&view=detail&mid=44B5C6BA9D9A3EECD0FD44B5C6BA9D9A3EECD0FD&&FORM=VRDGAR

[Denzil_DC]

21. "Do you ever wonder where all the farts go?"

"They go into the atmosphere and form the Fart Zone. It's just above the ozone layer.

THIS IS WHY WE MUST PROTECT THE OZONE LAYER."

- Steve Martin

[PJMcK]

22. Never heard that one! (n/t)

[Denzil_DC]

23. I saw the routine on TV some years ago.

I've been trying to find a YouTube of it ever since, but no luck.

It's the delivery that floored me:

Do you ever wonder where all the farts go?"

[Pause]

They go into the atmosphere and form the Fart Zone.

[Pause, laughter]

It's just above the ozone layer.

[Longer pause]

[Very intense, punching open hand with other hand] THIS [Punch] IS WHY [Punch] WE MUST [Punch] PROTECT [Punch] THE OZONE LAYER [Punch].

Genius.

[Kingofalldems]

5. He who smelt it dealt it.

[Gabi Hayes]

6. Heres the plane

[Codeine]

7. A physician weighs in;

[Ms. Toad]

8. Excessive flatulence is almost certainly the result of a medical condition.

It isn't something you can just conjure up on a whim or - if it is caused by a medical condition - "hold back" - and certainly nothing he should be ashamed of.

This kind of reporting, that ridicules the symptoms of really devastating medical conditions, makes me ill.

[SharonClark]

15. Sitting next to a farter could bring on a second medical issue - causing a person to barf on the

farter.

[Ms. Toad]

19. It's not a joke.

My daughter has one of these conditions. In the early years of her condition, she changed almost overnight from a child who never even noticed when we left - and cried when we came back - to pick her up from preschool or the babysitter, to a clingy child who wouldn't let me out of her sight because she couldn't trust anyone else to find her a bathroom before she literally couldn't hold it in. She lived like this for a year - and was heading to kindergarten in diapers because that is the only way she could stand being out of arm's reach from me.

As an adult, she has now been living for 24 years with the potential that she might offend someone, or become the butt of a joke because if she is out of remission - she can't control her bowels. Fortunately, she is in remission most of the time.

And, if that's not bad enough, she lives with the reality that both cancer and a liver transplant are almost certainly in her future.

So you can take the thumb and forefinger you almost certainly have and pinch your nostrils together. It won't do you any serious harm - and although the scent can be unpleasant, I've never known anyone to barf at the scent of a fart. On the other hand - my daughter - and others like her don't have any options.

[icymist]

20. Brava Ms. Toad! Brava!

[DavidDvorkin]

16. I agree with you.

[PCIntern]

10. One guy who worked at my high school

Took a dump in the gym that was so horrifying that they had to cancel wrestling practice that afternoon.

On edit: you can't make this "shit" up.

[backtoblue]

11. I can't help it

I laughed at this. We need to shut down gd til the fart post airs out!

[PCIntern]

12. You have no idea...

To this day I've never smelled anything like it. It's been 49 years.

[roamer65]

13. The latest version of norovirus makes things pretty rank.

Worse than a Saudi Arabian oil field at full production.

Be forewarned and DON’T pull my finger.

[Kaleva]

14. At this one house, a co-woker walked by a bathroom the lady of the home just used

I'll never forget the "Help Me!" look on his face with the tears running out of his almost closed eyes.

[Danascot]

18. Shouldn't this be posted under Breaking?