Jared will be in command of arming school teachers, administrators, and staff.
He shall add this to his long portfolio of tasks to be accomplished as the chief negotiator and completor of all things Trumpian.
The Federal Government will purchase 666 Fifth Avenue for the tidy sum of twelve billion dollars, raze it, and convert the steel into weaponry designed to protect schools from marauders, pirates, and evil-doers. The manufactured goods will then be distributed by Trump .45 Company, a subgroup of Trump Stakes (sic), at a reasonable profit margin of say, 60%. Ammunition will be provided by the DonEric Company, whose principals are well-known for their big-game kills in Africa under closely supervised conditions.
In addition, there will be a special Act of Congress which holds harmless any individual who discharges a weapon within a school environment or within two hundred yards of a school building, in order that accidental mutilations and deaths cannot be profited upon by so-called bereaving families of (supposedly) dead student/actors.
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You think this is far-fetched? I beg to disagree. We are two steps away from this becoming truth.
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