Could you date or be married to someone who owned a gun?

[johnpowdy]

This discussion thread was locked as off-topic by NH Ethylene (a host of the General Discussion forum).

Personally I could not. I do not trust guns at all.

[sinkingfeeling]

1. They could own one if was in a bank security deposit box and I, alone,

had the key.

[pangaia]

2. No freakin' way !!!!!!!!!

[Joanie Baloney]

3. I do

It's locked away and I don't get near it. My SO knows how and when to use it. It's never been an issue.

-JB

[JNelson6563]

4. Yes but I'm in Northern Michigan.

Hunting is a serious thing here. I'm ok with that. Of course the hunters don't use ar15s, we're talking hunting rifle.

[quartz007]

10. AR-15 like guns have 1 purpose..

to kill as many persons as possible very quickly. They are useless as home defense weapons as well. What are you going to do, upon hearing an intruder in your bedroom, run to the closet to retrieve your AR-15? A handgun hidden under pillow is easily retrieved for use.

[yagotme]

28. Hmm, confusing...

"to kill as many persons as possible very quickly. They are useless as home defense weapons as well."

Seems that one would complement the other. One would want to kill a home invader quickly, I assume, if he is posing a bodily threat to you and yours. Especially if there are more than one.

And a handgun under the pillow is one of the most unsafest ways to keep one. What about the kids? Think they won't find it there? And, hopefully, your own perimeter security (locked doors/windows, maybe a dog,) would give you a little more advance warning before they are actually standing in your bedroom doorway.

[JNelson6563]

55. Did you post under the wrong comment?

I don't advocate for AR15 OR handguns. Thanks

[Kaleva]

72. You think putting a handgun under a pillow is a good idea? Wow!

Hopefully you stay faaaaar away from guns.

[trixie2]

43. I'm with you, also from Michigan

We live in the Detroit area but have cottage in the thumb.

I am ok with a gun locked up and ammo in a different location. Once hunting season is over I am great with guns being locked up at gun club.

[loyalsister]

5. No

I've come to see attachment to guns as a sign of narcissism.

[smirkymonkey]

66. Totally agree.

And my answer is also no. Never.

[quartz007]

6. I would not marry a single mother

living in a big city crime infested area if she did not possess a handgun to protect her children.

[womanofthehills]

47. I hate guns around children - too many guns left unattended

I worked in a hospital where a four yr old became partially paralyzed. The kids watched the adult hiding the gun, got it down when they had a baby sitter, and a 6 yr old girl shot her 4 yr old sister who will never walk normally again - ever. The poor girl who shot her sister needed years of therapy too.

[Squinch]

69. You would not marry a person who raised her and her childrens'

chances of being killed by a gun by an enormous percentage? Odd criteria.

[comradebillyboy]

7. My wife owned a gun when I met her. I have lots of guns

but am otherwise an ordinary liberal. Lots of good Democrats are gun owners.

[MaryMagdaline]

8. Husband had two guns

I don't know what to do with them. Don't want to sell them so I hope we have a buy back program through the police department. He never shot them. They were collector's items. I don't think we have ammo.

I never thought I could be with anyone with guns. Grew up in an anti-gun household. My father said occupation duty in Berlin after war scared him more than combat ... two many new troops who didn't know how to handle guns.

I would freak out when my young nephews were visiting. Made him put the guns in attic. I was convinced young boys could find a gun anywhere you hide it and they could get ammo.

Could not be with anyone who had rapid fire weapons. I think those people fantasize about killing people.

[yagotme]

34. If they are actually collector items,

the buyback will not give you anywhere near their actual value. Very few, if any, "collector grade" firearms are used in crimes. Too much $ to buy/keep up to throw away. I wouldn't lose any sleep with taking them to a reputable local gun store (or, if they are worth a crap, will come to pick them up if valuable), and have them sold on commission. You get nearer their actual value (the idea behind an "investment&quot , and know the guns will be sold most likely to a collector who will bury them in a safe, and probably will never have ammo loaded into them. Firing collector guns takes value off of them. Like buying a new Corvette, and putting 30,000 miles on it the first year.

[MaryMagdaline]

46. Thank you. Something to consider. I appreciate the input.

[TalenaGor]

9. my ex-husband was an alcoholic and probably kind of Centrist and a gun owner

He got a Glock 45 for self-defense of our house....
Usually when he got drunk he would walk around the house with it in his pocket just in case....
Then one day he thought one of our roommates had stolen his tools and he stayed up all night and guarding his tools drunk..... I came down into the garage at 7 in the morning to do laundry and he thought it was the roommate and I turn the corner and the gun was in my face....
I left him 2 weeks later...
After I left he had some sort of misfire and shot a hole through the bedroom....


So nope not anymore!

[trixie2]

44. Holy shit!

An alcoholic with a gun? That is some crazy shit! What state is this in?

[TalenaGor]

53. wa

He probably still has it....
We divorced in 2013

[angstlessk]

11. Not all guns are the same...re-ask using an Ar-15 or an automatic/semiautomatic gun

Generalities do not apply

Some people really do use guns to hunt.

[rpannier]

19. I would add (and did in my reply)

historical pieces: muskets, flintlocks, 19th century Colts, Winchesters, etc

[unblock]

12. Absolutely! Of course Id make getting rid of it a requirement for the next date....

[LonePirate]

13. No

[we can do it]

14. Nope

[obamanut2012]

15. lol

[rpannier]

16. Yes I could

Given the broad range of what a gun is, from air pistol to BB Gun, to Glock, to historical pieces (1870's Colt or Winchester), etc my answer is yes

[Sunsky]

17. Yes and I have

Hubby is a gun owner.

[highplainsdem]

18. Depends entirely on the person and why they own a gun. I don't hunt, but I know people who hunt

responsibly -- for food, not for trophies or "sport." And there are valid reasons at times to own a gun for personal safety, depending on where you live and where (and at what hours) you travel. But again, it all depends on the person and the reasons for having that gun.

OTOH, I think people who are too interested in guns -- who talk about them a lot and/or own lots of them -- tend to have psychological problems they're compensating for, and that's a good reason to avoid them.

[trixie2]

45. You make excellent points

Hunters I know never talk about their guns.

[mythology]

20. There isn't nearly enough information in the given scenario to say yes or no

What if they have a gun because they are a cop or federal agent? What if the gun is a family thing where it was a grandfather's gun from WWII?

What I would look for in answering that question is why do they have a gun and what is their personality and outlook on gun safety? In terms of personality how impulsive are they, how prone to depression or angry outbursts. In terms of safety, do they keep it secured, do they understand how to clean/care for a weapon, etc. Are they serious about the gun and the damage it can cause, do they do stupid shit like point it at a camera or at somebody, loaded or not. Do they check to see if it's loaded by looking down the barrel. Do they let random people hold the gun without first double checking to make sure it's empty.

I've known too many legitimately responsible gun owners to make blanket statements like I couldn't be with somebody who owns a gun if by that you mean owns any type of gun for any reason. About 30% of Americans own a gun (a higher percentage live in a home with a gun) and yet in the range of 10 or less percent of crimes involving a gun are committed by a legally purchased gun. So guns are relatively prevalent, and crime committed by somebody who legally purchased it are relatively rare.

Granted that doesn't include the large number of accidents and suicides committed with guns (suicide attempts with guns are more likely to be successful than suicide attempts by other methods).

Personally I would prefer to not be involved with somebody who has a gun because it inherently increases the risk of me being the victim of gun violence or accident or suicide. But I wouldn't be so quick to say I couldn't based on that fact alone. There are too many potential variables.

[Skittles]

21. yes but I would not date a hunter

I don't like being around people who are entertained by killing

[ProudLib72]

25. Had an interesting discussion about this with my wife

She hates, hates, hates guns. I asked her what she thought of hunters. She said that hunting for sport was wrong, but hunting to eat the meat was ok. (First time I had heard that from her.) So I pushed and asked her why she would say that when you could just go to the grocery store and buy as much meat as you wanted. She told me that free range organic meat was super expensive and she could never afford it unless she hunted! Ergo, hunting for meat equates to wanting free range organic meat.

I'm vegetarian, and so was she until she went on a keto/paleo diet. Granted, she has been reading a lot about this stuff and getting new ideas; however, I have to say that this one made some sense.

[Skittles]

27. they are still entertained by killing

[ProudLib72]

29. Yes, and I don't think she is aware of that fact

She's never fired a gun, never been to a gun range, never been around any guns.

[sarisataka]

22. Of course...

I couldn't marry-me a woman what ain't got at least a notch or two on the grip of her shootin' iron

[Kali]

23. I AM someone who owns a few guns.

[Laffy Kat]

24. I was married to a man who owned guns.

And his father was a complete gun wacko. I made it very clear that he was never to bring a gun into our house, so he kept his at his father's place. His father and step-mother didn't like me at all for a lot of reasons. Anyway, we were married for over 20 years and in all that time, ex never went shooting, at least to my knowledge. Once his father died the ex sold all the guns. I don't think he even really liked having the guns, it was more his dad's influence.

[JI7]

26. depends on what they need it for. but not gun nut NRA Types

[johnp3907]

30. No.

[OhioBlue]

31. yes, my husband owns guns for hunting that are locked in a gun cabinet.

I used to feel similarly in that I would never allow guns in my household. I had an Uncle, cousin and friend that all committed suicide with guns. I also had a distant cousin that accidentally shot another person with a gun and knew a school kid that died from an accidental shooting with a gun in the home.

I was adamant about "no guns" but as I got to know my husband, his nature, his responsibility, I did allow them. My only rules was that they were locked up. He has guns that he uses for hunting and some hunting guns were passed down to him. He might not use them as he doesn't really deer hunt anymore, but they were from his paw paw and he has a sentimental attachment thinking about when he used to deer hunt with him.

I would have a hard time with a handgun. My step-father and brother have them in their homes as they work in law enforcement, but I wouldn't want one in my home. And absolutely no AR15 or semi-auto, assault type rifles. I wouldn't be attracted to someone that subscribed to that mentality.

[lancelyons]

32. I have a dozen guns that I have used for hunting over the years

They stay put up for most part. 1 for defense.

People with guns aren't bad and most whose families came from rural areas tend to have some guns for hunting. It's part of the culture.

[napi21]

33. Of course, and I am! Married for 55 years.

Hubby has several guns...shot guns, long rifles, and a couple of hand guns. No autos or semi-autos. O have no idea what has happened to our human psyche over the years, but in our house we don't thinks of a gun as a solution to anything. Now it seems far too many people do.

[madinmaryland]

35. No. I am male...

I do not hunt, so I don't need guns for that.

I do not want guns in the house, because what is it worth to have it locked up in a safe. I would be dead by the time I opened up the safe.

A dog that is a loud barker is enough for me.

FUCK THE NRA.

[trixie2]

49. Have you seen the % of gun owners, GOP vs Dems, and gun views and who is and isn't an NRA member?

this link might be of interest to you.

[bermudat]

36. No

[MontanaMama]

37. I own a Browning shotgun

and shoot trap and skeet at the local range and it’s a blast! My husband and son hunt elk and deer for us, my mother in law and sister in law. Great meat that we cut and wrap ourselves. They are not entertained by killing as some like to say on this board. No AR weapons in this house. We have been anti NRA forever...they’re a disgusting lobby. We have a safe where the shotguns and rifles are kept. We’re regular Dems in every sense in terms of voting and social issues.

I learned to shoot a revolver years ago...had a stalker over a 3 year period who called at all hours, threatened me over the phone and would leave notes and other signs of his “affection” at my door and at my work. Back then, my husband worked out of town for weeks at a time...I decided I would buy a handgun for personal protection and took tactical training classes to make sure I’d be competent and comfortable with it should the need to use it arise.

[lunamagica]

38. No

[TygrBright]

39. Probably. Grew up in a family where venison, pheasant, and duck were menu items.

It would depend on the gun.

A hunting rifle, a shotgun, kept in secure gun storage with ammunition locked away separately (or not purchased at all until on the way to the hunting lodge) would probably not bother me.

I might be okay with a target pistol, same thing- kept in secure storage and only loaded at the range.

I don't "get" gun sports myself, but wouldn't necessarily deny them to a responsible adult I loved.

Ultimately, my granddad switched to bowhunting, partly because he got tired of complaints about having to be careful about finding shot pellets in the entree at dinner. But he always had his hunting weapons in secure storage in a locked shed.

I think it's kind of sad, in a way, that the lunatic fringe of the 2A crowd makes it so difficult for people to feel okay about ordinary gun sports and people who pursue them responsibly and who would never dream of accumulating basements full of military hardware, etc.

diffidently,
Bright

[Angry Dragon]

41. good response

[trixie2]

50. I agree

Ultimately, my granddad switched to bowhunting, partly because he got tired of complaints about having to be careful about finding shot pellets in the entree at dinner. But he always had his hunting weapons in secure storage in a locked shed.

We demanded this too. Hated looking for buckshot during my dinner.

[Angry Dragon]

40. yes

[msdogi]

42. No

Make that hell no

[democratisphere]

48. Sure. As long as was legally owned and operated AND was not used to shoot or

kill any living, breathing creatures; used only for target practice at inanimate objects.

[akbacchus_BC]

51. It is not guns that hurt people!

It is the owners of guns who are mentally unstable who are allowed to have guns and those guns owners hurt people.

[Squinch]

71. Um, no. It's the guns.

[Binkie The Clown]

52. Nope. Not a chance. I get very nervous when a cop walks into a store with a gun on his hip.

I leave the store immediately. I don't ever want to find myself within bullet's reach of a gun. Call me paranoid, but guns creep me the hell out. They are death machines, plain and simple.

[yuiyoshida]

54. I don't think I could...

Than again, I own Katanas, but don't think anyone could go very far with a sword...

[thbobby]

56. My father was physically abusive

to both my mother and me. He also loved guns. He was a hunter and we ate much wild game. The guns were always in a gun cabinet, but not locked. He never, to my knowledge, did anything inappropriate with a gun. I learned gun safety and respect for how dangerous they were from him. Gun safety was his main concern with guns.
The question you ask is too general. I hate guns, have owned only one in my life (it was a single shot 22 rifle given to me on my 7th birthday). But I have friends that hunt and I still like wild game (venison, dove, rabbit, etc). I dated a woman a couple of years ago who was a hunter and had several guns.
Domestic abusers should not have guns and my father probably should not have either. But domestic abusers should be imprisoned. As a man, I am probably less wary of dating someone who owns a gun than a woman. I would not want my daughter to be with a gun nut.
In general, a gun is a tool and can be acceptable if properly used, so yes I would date someone who owned a gun. Marriage would be trickier. A long-term commitment to a person that keeps guns is very frightening to me.

[dchill]

57. Aren't relationships tough enough without guns?

[democratisphere]

77. A gun should have nothing to do with ANY relationship.

[Shrike47]

58. Yes, and I did. Inherited, mostly, and not used for hunting.

We’ve also got his grandmother’s china, never used by us.

[MFM008]

59. I live a five minute walk

From the state mental institution.
I have a 357. Pistol.
I say ban assault weapons.
Keep away from kids.
Gun locks. Gun safes.
Tighter restrictions.
Background checks.
Hell send owners to a gun school.
In fact I don't even like automatics.
But don't judge everyone on why they have one.

[LeftInTX]

60. It would depend

My husband has never owned a gun, we've been married 33 years.

Never given it much thought though. If I was married to a hunter, I would probably want him to store his guns some place other than home. If I lived on a ranch somewhere, then there would be a gun safe involved.

[Kablooie]

61. It depends on the gun.

I could live with a spud gun.

[radical noodle]

62. I am married to someone with many guns

He likes to target shoot occasionally and they are all kept locked in a big gun safe that no one could begin to carry off. He is very safety conscious and is NOT an NRA member (although he was a member back in the day when they were about gun safety). A gun is as safe as the person who handles it.

[struggle4progress]

63. I'm not a big fan of guns:

The brother of a friend of mine died after being shot at a high school party by a kid joking with a rifle

The brother of another friend of mine later blew out his brains after a break-up with his girlfriend

Another person I saw socially shot and killed her SO based on paranoid suspicions

And then one of my neighbors shot herself dead over a financial problem

[Nailzberg]

64. Yes I could. But I'm very safety conscious and would expect them to be as well.

Not just with guns. In general, I don't like reckless behavior. Wouldn't get along with someone that lacked my sensibilities toward safety. No pistols under pillows, thats for sure.

[quickesst]

65. I married a woman...

.... who has never owned a gun, but, she is married to a man who has owned one for the last 33 years of marriage. I suppose that means that my wife does not share your moral standard, but as per your own words in the OP , I do.

[raven mad]

67. Well, yeah................

but look where I live!

[aikoaiko]

68. Of course. It's a non-issue.

[Codeine]

70. A gun? Probably. An assault rifle? Nah. nt

[malaise]

73. No n/t

[no_hypocrisy]

74. It depends.

I was going around with a man who owned several rifles. But he came from a generation that respected, not loved blindly, guns. When he was under 10 in the Fifties, boys carried rifles when they walked around the streets in rural NJ. He knows gun safety and would never threaten anyone with a weapon. All his weapons are locked up on a gun locker with a combination lock and he's the only one who has the combination.

So yeah, depending upon the "attachment" of a guy to his guns, I could be associated a gun owner.

[elias7]

75. Dont trust guns, dont trust people with guns

[Chemisse]

76. Locking

Discussion of guns (unrelated to the current high-profile news topic) should be posted in Gun Control & RKBA (Group).