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HiPointDem

(20,729 posts)
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 03:24 PM Jul 2012

Why are Women Devouring Fifty Shades of Grey?

While much of the sex in Fifty Shades is as cruel and sadistic as in mainstream porn, it is expertly packaged for women who want a “fairy tale” ending. In male-targeted porn, the woman is interesting only for as long as the sex lasts...In Fifty Shades, however, the naïve, immature, bland Anastasia is, for some unfathomable reason, the most compelling woman our rich, sadistic, narcissistic hero has ever met, and he not only kisses her during sex (something you rarely see in Internet hardcore porn) but he doesn’t move on to the next conquest... In fact, he actually marries her and confesses undying love...

In his book on batterers, Lundy Bancroft provides a list of potentially dangerous signs to watch out for from boyfriends. Needless to say, Mr. Grey is the poster boy of the list, not only with his jealous, controlling, stalking, sexually sadistic behavior, but his hypersensitivity to...any slight against him, his whirlwind romancing of a younger, less powerful woman, his Jekyll-and-Hyde mood swings....

And yet women of all ages are swooning over this guy and misreading his obsessive, cruel behavior as evidence of love and romance. Part of the reason for this is that his wealth acts as a kind of up-market cleansing cream for his abuse, and his pathological attachment to Anastasia is reframed as devotion, since he showers luxury items on her. This is a very retrograde and dangerous world for our daughters to buy into, and speaks to the appalling lack of any public consciousness as to the reality of violence against women.

Fifty Shades also reveals just how pornographic our culture has become over the last decade or so. While the old Harlequin romance novels had narcissistic heroes who toyed, sexually and psychologically, with their much younger prey, however remote and emotionally challenged he was, the hero did not have a torture chamber tucked away in his basement. Fifty Shades of Grey is Harlequin on steroids, a kind of romance novel for the porn age in which overt sexual sadism masquerades as adoration and love. New as this is, the ending remains depressingly the same for real women who end up falling for the Mr. Greys of the world.

http://www.counterpunch.org/2012/07/27/why-are-women-devouring-fifty-shades-of-grey/





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Why are Women Devouring Fifty Shades of Grey? (Original Post) HiPointDem Jul 2012 OP
Sorry, I couldn't resist derby378 Jul 2012 #1
that is hysterical Coexist Jul 2012 #5
ewwwww...that is some bad writing HiPointDem Jul 2012 #12
The women I work with are reading it AndreaCG Jul 2012 #26
Oh my.... CherokeeDem Jul 2012 #29
My inner goddess...LOL! Except people are reading this shit adigal Jul 2012 #134
Oh... oh god, laughing so hard... Scootaloo Jul 2012 #37
I once heard a Bob Dylan impersonator recite lines from songs by Bjork derby378 Jul 2012 #40
That sounds kind of interesting... Scootaloo Jul 2012 #45
OMG, that IS fun! derby378 Jul 2012 #58
Then you should watch/listen to this: kentauros Jul 2012 #225
OMFG - AWESOME! Aerows Aug 2012 #257
I didn't recognize some of the cartoon characters kentauros Aug 2012 #267
That is really funny lumberjack_jeff Jul 2012 #62
I guess men aren't the only ones into hard core porn. UnrepentantLiberal Jul 2012 #84
It is interesting that women appear to prefer reading porn Warren Stupidity Jul 2012 #138
Careful. Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #140
I'll takes my chances with the hof. Warren Stupidity Jul 2012 #141
There's anime porn?! HappyMe Jul 2012 #153
It is a whole sub-genre - has its own name that I can't quite recall and wont google at work - henta Warren Stupidity Jul 2012 #160
"Hentai" is a Japanese insult that roughly translates into "Needle-dick" derby378 Jul 2012 #175
Shit. Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #176
"hentai is a kanji compound of "hen;" "change", "weird", or "strange") and "tai;" "attitude" or HiPointDem Jul 2012 #180
And the dude that called me that told me it meant homey hootinholler Jul 2012 #195
It has been around forever, too. hifiguy Jul 2012 #190
Once I made the mistake of saying something like this; Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #167
LOL!!!!! LongTomH Jul 2012 #168
Omg! HappyMe Jul 2012 #189
LMAO! Chemisse Jul 2012 #202
Our brains work differently. UnrepentantLiberal Jul 2012 #155
I don't know about all women Maine-ah Aug 2012 #262
Romance novels are porn for women. backscatter712 Jul 2012 #199
omg AtomicKitten Jul 2012 #93
Excellent :) Fire Walk With Me Jul 2012 #118
That's hilarious, reminds me of the Wienerlogues Whisp Jul 2012 #194
Given the quality of the writing, only Gilbert Gottfried could make it bearable! backscatter712 Jul 2012 #197
That is awesome!!! I just sent it to like 10 people.....nt msanthrope Jul 2012 #205
THAT is too funny! tilsammans Aug 2012 #259
you got me... but Harlequin Romances are soft Coexist Jul 2012 #2
My daughter said she tried to read it as the folks at her office were pushing her to do so Sherman A1 Jul 2012 #126
It's really not that dramatically different from traditional romance novels. Withywindle Jul 2012 #3
Exactly! HappyMe Jul 2012 #159
It's the bad boy thing Confusious Jul 2012 #4
The late Bill Hicks had an observation about women and "bad boys" derby378 Jul 2012 #7
Because a woman gets fucked by a rich man. Dreamer Tatum Jul 2012 #6
And your point is? CreekDog Jul 2012 #15
Women like to read and watch stories about rich men boning them. Dreamer Tatum Jul 2012 #16
And they don't at all like to read stories about rejecting wealth to be with a poor man... antigone382 Jul 2012 #23
"Hi, I'm a poor man. I'd like to tie you up and humiliate you for my sexual pleasure." Dreamer Tatum Jul 2012 #49
Like all those stories about women falling in love with the underdog bandits who kidnap them? antigone382 Jul 2012 #61
Getting 'ravaged' by a rich guy is at the rock bottom of MY list of fantasies. Chemisse Jul 2012 #204
you always know exactly the right thing to say CreekDog Jul 2012 #95
lol. love that. n/t progressivebydesign Jul 2012 #100
Well, to be fair, there are lots of guys who like to be tied up too. Marrah_G Jul 2012 #104
Not always true. Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #181
Not sure what you mean Marrah_G Jul 2012 #187
I mean, that was a book by a well-regarded author, that sold lots of copies, and involved dudes Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #196
ROTFLMAO... absolutely fell out of my chair laughing. Well said. n/t Zalatix Jul 2012 #124
Did it ever occur to you that people can derive sexual pleasure from being tied up and humiliated? TheCruces Jul 2012 #232
Sure. As long as that man is rich. Dreamer Tatum Aug 2012 #240
Wow...not only is your post clueless about BDSM... TheCruces Aug 2012 #255
Oh fuck that shit Dreamer Tatum Aug 2012 #256
My post just flew over your head TheCruces Aug 2012 #268
Lucky for me - your post was bullshit. nt Dreamer Tatum Aug 2012 #269
FYI aikoaiko Aug 2012 #273
Sorry you are very very wrong Marrah_G Aug 2012 #260
No, you are clueless about my point. I say again: Dreamer Tatum Aug 2012 #263
Have a nice day! Marrah_G Aug 2012 #264
That's even better. "I'm so hot, I can reject the rich guy if I want to." n/t lumberjack_jeff Jul 2012 #63
I don't really understand how that makes sense. antigone382 Jul 2012 #69
If the point of books like this is escapist fantasy... lumberjack_jeff Jul 2012 #76
Such fantasies show underlying social conditioning. Odin2005 Jul 2012 #78
I think you're replying to someone else. lumberjack_jeff Jul 2012 #79
Immensely popular to some.... antigone382 Jul 2012 #80
What then is the reasonable extrapolation of the person playing Grand Theft Auto? LanternWaste Jul 2012 #157
Stealing cars looks exciting and fun. lumberjack_jeff Jul 2012 #158
Jack died in the titanic 4th law of robotics Jul 2012 #163
Umm...at the end of the Titanic she abandons her family and assumes a new identity... antigone382 Jul 2012 #164
Did you see the big fucking diamond she chucked in the water at the end? JVS Jul 2012 #210
K, point taken. So how about Sweet Home Alabama? antigone382 Aug 2012 #241
How do you define "exceedingly rare"? antigone382 Jul 2012 #173
Guess you skipped 'Lady Chatterley's Lover' Justitia Jul 2012 #66
Oh, I loved that book. HappyMe Jul 2012 #72
Oh. You sound like one of THOSE guys, Quantess Jul 2012 #34
Hey, SOMEONE is buying all of those copies of the book. Dreamer Tatum Jul 2012 #47
No. Quantess Jul 2012 #56
Yes, in fact, you are. Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #137
Take your WORST nightmare interpretation of Dreamer Tatum's view on women. Zalatix Jul 2012 #125
Youve actually read it? Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #139
It has been banned at our library lovuian Jul 2012 #8
Our library doesn't have a copy in stock xmas74 Jul 2012 #21
My library has 17 ebook copies and 799 on the waiting list. aquart Jul 2012 #96
omg obamanut2012 Jul 2012 #97
your library bans books? eShirl Jul 2012 #182
but women say porn is harmful, degrading and objectifying leftyohiolib Jul 2012 #9
Not all women say that, and not all women are into 50 Shades... antigone382 Jul 2012 #35
Not this woman. HappyMe Jul 2012 #42
i stand corrected thanks leftyohiolib Jul 2012 #161
Not all women Marrah_G Aug 2012 #261
I've skimmed through the first 2 Mz Pip Jul 2012 #10
It's boring. it's so boring I couldn't make it through it cali Jul 2012 #11
So I'm not the only one who couldn't finish it! xmas74 Jul 2012 #22
It's not only boring but the writing style is inferior. It's just a poorly written book. I finished virgogal Jul 2012 #33
Well, remember its origin Scootaloo Jul 2012 #39
I never read any of the Twilights. HappyMe Jul 2012 #46
I accept quality from all areas Scootaloo Jul 2012 #51
Everyone keeps telling me to read it and for some reason, I have aboslutely no interest whatsoever. smirkymonkey Jul 2012 #214
O! Hope you feel better soon. Nt abelenkpe Jul 2012 #154
Fifty Shades of Alice in Wonderland is much better. joshcryer Jul 2012 #172
I started reading that the other day. kentauros Jul 2012 #221
Yeah, that's where I saw it! joshcryer Jul 2012 #222
He writes some excellent rants, too! kentauros Jul 2012 #228
Not so different from Beauty and the Beast noamnety Jul 2012 #13
I haven't read the books and don't plan to. WorseBeforeBetter Jul 2012 #14
"50 Shades" presents a temporary reversal from the prevailing cultural eros Bozvotros Jul 2012 #17
sounds like the film "The Story of O" Ghost of Tom Joad Jul 2012 #18
And 50 Shades was originally Twilight fan fiction catrose Jul 2012 #31
I was told once that there are two basic female fantasies: bhikkhu Jul 2012 #19
How do you explain all the shows that represent almost exactly the opposite? Bozvotros Jul 2012 #48
Categorization of attitudes is by custom, not biology bhikkhu Jul 2012 #101
I tried to read it after everyone talked about it. xmas74 Jul 2012 #20
that was me, too. it is so poorly written and the plot line is so trite that I was bored. Tuesday Afternoon Jul 2012 #24
I have three days left on check-out xmas74 Jul 2012 #25
Ann Rice wrote better stuff than this crap. Tuesday Afternoon Jul 2012 #28
I know. xmas74 Jul 2012 #32
Oh hell yeah. HappyMe Jul 2012 #44
Amen to that. Pick up the "Sleeping Beauty" trilogy, people! Justitia Jul 2012 #65
they have reissues of the anne rice beauty books at target now! bedazzled Jul 2012 #86
oh my..... Marrah_G Jul 2012 #111
Some of my favorite guilty pleasures :) Marrah_G Jul 2012 #105
aren't those books a HOOT? it's hard to believe such an elegant lady could come up with them bedazzled Jul 2012 #142
She is quite a story teller Marrah_G Jul 2012 #144
Like i said, she wrote "exit to Eden" under a pseudonym Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #208
Now, you've done it! I'm going to have fantasies about being whipped by Rosie O'Donnell... LongTomH Jul 2012 #219
It was a long time ago that I actually watched it Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #223
I read all the ann rampling novels, loved them Marrah_G Jul 2012 #230
Available in audiobook and ebook from NYPL. aquart Jul 2012 #128
Hell yes. Those Beauty books are HOT. And she can put two words together. nolabear Jul 2012 #217
It caters to people's sense of self-doubt as well as their need of escapist lit... Taverner Jul 2012 #27
I'll pass, The Story of O was way more than enough for me to stomach. :-( nt Raine Jul 2012 #30
I'd just like to point out: women have been reading "naughty" books for a long time. Chorophyll Jul 2012 #36
Maybe for the same reason I read twilight. Yes it was as bad as they say. I read madmom Jul 2012 #38
I too read Twilight just so I could argue from an informed position Scootaloo Jul 2012 #43
The only thing I really remember in Twilight xmas74 Jul 2012 #50
lol I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes though when they mention madmom Jul 2012 #55
Pretty much. I read them just so I could understand the Rifftrax. Arkana Jul 2012 #147
The MIT Sci-Fi Society review of twilight is great though... Pholus Jul 2012 #133
+1 eShirl Jul 2012 #183
Washington Nationals pitchers also love it: Kingofalldems Jul 2012 #41
If this is why they are on such a hot streak, THEN READ MORE!!!!!!! kwassa Jul 2012 #215
Maybe because women Summer Hathaway Jul 2012 #52
Stop making sense! HappyMe Jul 2012 #53
Ooops! Summer Hathaway Jul 2012 #57
Didn't see anyone say it shouldn't be read Gemini Cat Jul 2012 #212
Oh, I can dig it. Summer Hathaway Jul 2012 #227
Don't worry about it. Gemini Cat Aug 2012 #234
If I were any more relaxed Summer Hathaway Aug 2012 #252
Whatever you wish. Gemini Cat Aug 2012 #270
Same reason they read "Justine" 200+ years ago Warpy Jul 2012 #54
As long as people are reading... negativenihil Jul 2012 #59
actually i think the people who are into these books are the same ones into crap tv shows JI7 Jul 2012 #64
Not this woman, the bet most women who are into it have not read many books JI7 Jul 2012 #60
Really? HappyMe Jul 2012 #68
Do you think The audience is the same as the people who love Jane Austen? I don't! Nt adigal Jul 2012 #136
Why not? HappyMe Jul 2012 #145
For me, I love austen, and the horrible writing in these works would make me nuts! adigal Jul 2012 #149
Pretty much why I won't be HappyMe Jul 2012 #150
One can gain insights into culture through examining what we read. lumberjack_jeff Jul 2012 #67
Are you parodying the argument that rape porn might mean men actually want to rape women? antigone382 Jul 2012 #75
50 shades of Gray has sold more than 30 million copies. lumberjack_jeff Jul 2012 #77
If all of those sales are only in the United States... antigone382 Jul 2012 #83
Maybe because it's so colorful? Kablooie Jul 2012 #70
That isn't even the half of it. Occulus Jul 2012 #87
And that's just 8-bit greyscale. EOTE Aug 2012 #248
Same reason they read romance novels involving being raped by a billionaire. Odin2005 Jul 2012 #71
Yes, we're so weak minded HappyMe Jul 2012 #74
I imagine video games are part and parcel of the same agenda? LanternWaste Jul 2012 #156
He's Heathcliff Dorian Gray Jul 2012 #73
Same reason they watch "Girls" on the tube Zyzafyx Jul 2012 #81
I haven't read it riverbendviewgal Jul 2012 #82
Stopped reading at "the sex in Fifty Shades is as cruel and sadistic as in mainstream porn" opiate69 Jul 2012 #85
OH NOES! Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #88
Criticizing the content is one thing. hifiguy Jul 2012 #191
It's "Twilight" for Mommies AnnieBW Jul 2012 #89
This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #91
Shoot, anyone with an Internet connection can read better erotica! AnnieBW Jul 2012 #108
This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #110
Fan fiction, by its very nature, hifiguy Jul 2012 #192
Good fanfiction depends on (at least) two important facts kentauros Jul 2012 #229
Good point. hifiguy Jul 2012 #233
Or just know people that read or write it kentauros Aug 2012 #235
I don't think you can read much into it. Marr Jul 2012 #90
Gail Dines is pro-censorship and associated with the Religious Right anti-porn movement Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #92
I don't know where you got the idea she's right wing. noamnety Jul 2012 #116
So you missed the alliance of Andrea Dworkin, Catherine MacKinnon and Ed Meese, then? Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #117
I think we call that "reaching across the aisle." noamnety Jul 2012 #119
I don't think censorship and teaming up with Theocratic godbags is progressive in any fashion. Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #120
rick warren. HiPointDem Jul 2012 #123
That was wrong, too. Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #127
"people who have repeatedly praised the words and "science" of Judith Reisman" - if that's HiPointDem Jul 2012 #129
If that was "supposed to be about" you, I would have said so. I didn't. Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #131
Your thoughts on McCain-Feingold? noamnety Jul 2012 #177
McCain-Feingold? You're really all over the map, here, aren't you. Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #178
Not all over the map at all. noamnety Jul 2012 #188
I'm rejecting whose ideas? Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #198
the proposed legislation was civil, not criminal zazen Jul 2012 #203
The legislation inferred all sorts of dubious Dworkinite baloney, starting with the axiom that Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #206
Dworkinite....was that created when the planet Dworkin exploded? LongTomH Jul 2012 #220
It was coined at the '94 Dworkapalooza. Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #224
where in the ordinance does it say "any heterosexual sex?" zazen Aug 2012 #238
I assume you have evidence of this widespread non-consent in porn, then? Warren DeMontague Aug 2012 #243
oops, wrong reply... joshcryer Jul 2012 #171
1) I just can't finish it and 2) I have a shrink's perspective nolabear Jul 2012 #94
For a much more realistic look at BDSM, rent "Secretary" obamanut2012 Jul 2012 #98
That's one of my favorite movies of all time TheCruces Jul 2012 #231
I'd never read it. It's perfect for the Kardashian/American Idol crowd tho.... progressivebydesign Jul 2012 #99
Nothing wrong with a little kink if that's what floats your boat. Lone_Star_Dem Jul 2012 #102
"Nothing wrong with a little kink if that's what floats your boat." ... BLASPHEMY!!!!!! Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #166
Because it is a guilty pleasure. And a cheap one at that. Zax2me Jul 2012 #103
Anyone with Google can find better written erotica on-line! AnnieBW Jul 2012 #109
Most people would have no idea where/how to look eShirl Jul 2012 #184
Wouldn't pay a penny for that crap. pinstikfartherin Jul 2012 #106
Women buy and enjoy porn. (nt) Nye Bevan Jul 2012 #107
The first book is a trainwreck... a la izquierda Jul 2012 #112
Actually, my non-vanilla friends are in a riot of Fifty Shades of Grey.... They can't stand it! cecilfirefox Jul 2012 #113
Ugh, not for me. KatyaR Jul 2012 #114
it's like the Justin Bieber of Books JI7 Jul 2012 #115
Cause we dont watch porn, but we'll read the hell out of it... pnwest Jul 2012 #121
Never AsahinaKimi Jul 2012 #122
I don't know, but a few weeks ago I went into Costco TheManInTheMac Jul 2012 #130
Why do women watch porn all the way to the end? To see if the couple gets married. mikeytherat Jul 2012 #132
"Couple"? Capt. Obvious Jul 2012 #135
This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass Jul 2012 #143
It's "Twilight" on steroids. Arkana Jul 2012 #146
pr at work. it is crappy writing. it has crappy reviews. it is being bought by how many to only seabeyond Jul 2012 #148
I don't know anyone who read it. I know many who read reviews and excerpts redqueen Jul 2012 #165
I imagine there are as many different reasons as there are readers. LanternWaste Jul 2012 #151
Seems like every woman I know has read those books abelenkpe Jul 2012 #152
Socially acceptable porn for women 4th law of robotics Jul 2012 #162
I don't know, but LWolf Jul 2012 #169
This thread wins the internets! tjwash Jul 2012 #170
I don't care to devour it. I have had enough porn in my life. n/t RebelOne Jul 2012 #174
I read it. All of it. LadyHawkAZ Jul 2012 #179
It is absolute and utter tripe. Butterbean Aug 2012 #258
Heh, I'm like that with books myself LadyHawkAZ Aug 2012 #265
The author is making $1 million a day ellie Jul 2012 #185
this one's not interested in it. i don't do romance novels either. n/t Scout Jul 2012 #186
I prefer convoluted thrillers where the main character has a fluid sense of identity Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #207
Not because they are personally interested in bondage - ask my wife. nt hack89 Jul 2012 #193
This message was self-deleted by its author BOG PERSON Jul 2012 #200
Yecch! I guess this crap appeals to women who will vote for the Mittiot. nt valerief Jul 2012 #201
Given the way the books fly out the door at Costco in our very blue area Warren DeMontague Aug 2012 #244
What the GOP say and what they do are two different things! nt valerief Aug 2012 #245
Which is why I can be accused of many things, but not duplicity, hypocrisy or disingenuousness. Warren DeMontague Aug 2012 #247
There's no accountin' for people's tastes flamingdem Jul 2012 #209
Beats me Ezlivin Jul 2012 #211
... opiate69 Jul 2012 #218
Most of all the young nurses (and a few of the older ones) are reading it on my floor. eilen Jul 2012 #213
George R.R. Martin knows how to write a good yarn. Warren DeMontague Jul 2012 #226
I love that series of books, just finished the last one and am bummed eilen Aug 2012 #272
Sounds as boring as regular porn and just as fake. n/t Cleita Jul 2012 #216
For the same reason they put up with high heels, waxing,... TheMadMonk Aug 2012 #236
Read the Grey Trilogy and Loved it! And I'll tell you why Katie Aug 2012 #237
As someone who has read all 3 books - I'll explain *** warning spoilers *** LynneSin Aug 2012 #239
" in the end he changes for her" 4th law of robotics Aug 2012 #249
I don't believe that was the case in this Trilogy Katie Aug 2012 #254
Of course, that's part of the fantasy 4th law of robotics Aug 2012 #266
Thank you so much LynneSin! Katie Aug 2012 #253
Maybe they just enjoy it? Women can have kinks/fetishes, too. n/t Akoto Aug 2012 #242
SMH Mr Dixon Aug 2012 #246
She just passed J.K. Rowling as the biggest selling author in Amazon history.. SomethingFishy Aug 2012 #250
Read it for yourself and see. If you think "popular = well written" then... well... Zalatix Aug 2012 #271
Just a horribly written book. Brainstormy Aug 2012 #251

AndreaCG

(2,331 posts)
26. The women I work with are reading it
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 06:38 PM
Jul 2012

Nice women but the review I read was so scathing you'd have to pay me twenty times what a reviewer gets to read it. But I just might listen to the gottfried version. Of course I'd need several pairs of underpants cause I'd be pissing them laughing!

 

adigal

(7,581 posts)
134. My inner goddess...LOL! Except people are reading this shit
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 07:02 AM
Jul 2012

And our daughters are, too. I told my 18 year old daughter that she would be well advised to read some books with mutually respectful sex before she reads this crap and thinks this is healthy sex.

I am saddened that our mothers and aunts worked so hard for women to be seem as equals and girls now want to be seen as sex goddesses, flashing their breasts and showing off their nipple piercings. It makes me sorry for,the women who worked so hard.

 

Scootaloo

(25,699 posts)
37. Oh... oh god, laughing so hard...
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:10 PM
Jul 2012

That's up there with Christopher Walken reading Lady Gaga Lyrics.

Next i want to either hear Bobcat Goldthwaite sing Bieber lyrics, or the Harvey Fierstein audiobook of the Twilight series.

derby378

(30,262 posts)
40. I once heard a Bob Dylan impersonator recite lines from songs by Bjork
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:14 PM
Jul 2012

Does that help?

 

Scootaloo

(25,699 posts)
45. That sounds kind of interesting...
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:22 PM
Jul 2012

But one of my favorite pieces of music recently is Wax Audio's mashup of Bjork and Hendrix...

http://official.fm/tracks/2uX2

kentauros

(29,414 posts)
225. Then you should watch/listen to this:
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 09:23 PM
Jul 2012
Star Wars Trilogy: The Radio Play



Best to just listen to it so you hear only the impersonations and cartoon characters instead of the voice actors
 

Aerows

(39,961 posts)
257. OMFG - AWESOME!
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 12:52 PM
Aug 2012

I watched the whole thing and this was like a GIFT. I was so funny, I nearly died laughing at some parts. Thanks so much for posting this. It was totally a surprise to watch it, but it was so awesome, I had to see it through the end

I wasn't expecting it, but it was great.

Just awesome.

kentauros

(29,414 posts)
267. I didn't recognize some of the cartoon characters
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 08:06 PM
Aug 2012

but I have found it's even funnier if you only listen to it. That way, the characters and impersonated celebrities comes through. You really do imagine it's Mr. Haney playing C3P0 or Bender playing Luke

I've shown this to people at work, and so long as they're at least somewhat geeky, they find it hilarious, too. Originally, the video was from a post in the Lounge a couple of weeks ago

 

Warren Stupidity

(48,181 posts)
138. It is interesting that women appear to prefer reading porn
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 07:33 AM
Jul 2012

While men appear to prefer watching it.

 

Warren Stupidity

(48,181 posts)
141. I'll takes my chances with the hof.
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 07:40 AM
Jul 2012

I'm actually interested in this issue, in fact I'm fascinated with it. It is romance novels vs hustler. There are good arguments for why visual porn is worse - actual people have to do that stuff - but take that out of the equation, anime porn is quite popular and involves no real people at all. Now what?

 

Warren Stupidity

(48,181 posts)
160. It is a whole sub-genre - has its own name that I can't quite recall and wont google at work - henta
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 12:53 PM
Jul 2012

or something like that.

derby378

(30,262 posts)
175. "Hentai" is a Japanese insult that roughly translates into "Needle-dick"
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 08:12 PM
Jul 2012

For some strange reason, it's also the name used to describe anime porn in general. There are also subgenres with names like Cream Lemon, Pink Shock, Blue Noise, and Cocaine Is A Hell Of A Drug.

 

HiPointDem

(20,729 posts)
180. "hentai is a kanji compound of "hen;" "change", "weird", or "strange") and "tai;" "attitude" or
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 04:59 AM
Jul 2012

"appearance&quot . The term is used as a shortened form of the phrase "hentai seiyoku" meaning "sexual perversion". In Japanese slang, hentai is used as an insult meaning roughly "pervert" or "weirdo".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hentai

 

hifiguy

(33,688 posts)
190. It has been around forever, too.
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 11:22 AM
Jul 2012

I managed a comics/sci-fi/alt-lit shop back in the 1990s and there was always a market for hentai comics. Odd stuff, but seemingly harmless. It's clear that Japan is a much less violent place than the US.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
167. Once I made the mistake of saying something like this;
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 04:56 PM
Jul 2012

"men's brains seem to be, on average, more wired for visual attraction"


Upon the utterance of these fateful words, the sky cracked open.. the rocks of the Earth were heard to begin wailing... the moon turned black as sackcloth...
In the East, a 12 headed beast was seen to rise from the sea; upon it's back was a man who appeared to be Fred Willard, and he was holding in his right hand an eight foot long Corn Dog.
He opened his mouth and began to sing "Stairway To Heaven" in Bengali.

Then, I passed out.

Maine-ah

(9,902 posts)
262. I don't know about all women
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 02:21 PM
Aug 2012

but I certainly prefer to read porn than to watch it. The imagination is way better than the visual reality.

The writing in 50 Shades...ugh...the sex though? I guess it all depends on what you're into. Personally, I'd rather have ahhmmm "crazy sex" with someone like my husband, who is caring and I can trust, and is not a stalking, egotistical, controlling asshole.

backscatter712

(26,357 posts)
199. Romance novels are porn for women.
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 04:46 PM
Jul 2012

Fifty Shades of Grey is certainly no exception.

As a guy, I've certainly indulged, so I can't fault women for doing the same.

 

Whisp

(24,096 posts)
194. That's hilarious, reminds me of the Wienerlogues
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 11:52 AM
Jul 2012


Just another tip that edumacation is failing us and communication has been reduced to Darwin's Origin of the Speech Ease. How utterly boring and people get off on this?

o my.

Coexist

(26,202 posts)
2. you got me... but Harlequin Romances are soft
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 03:29 PM
Jul 2012

the "bodice rippers" historical housewife porn is much more like what you describe. The heroine is often raped (which turns into No means YES... YES...) then falls in love with him.

So maybe its not that far removed?


I decided not to read 50 Shades after a great two-fer... a book reviewer I respect said she couldn't get into the plot because it was so poorly written she had a hard time curbing the urge to edit it

then SNL had that funny Mother's Day / 50 Shades "commercial" for Amazon. I decided I could do without it.

Sherman A1

(38,958 posts)
126. My daughter said she tried to read it as the folks at her office were pushing her to do so
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 04:07 AM
Jul 2012

and said she couldn't make it past the first 50 pages. She said the sex wasn't the problem and she does work in the literary field, but it was just terribly written.

Withywindle

(9,989 posts)
3. It's really not that dramatically different from traditional romance novels.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 03:34 PM
Jul 2012

Except more poorly-written than the average Harlequin. Damn, is that prose awful.

Many of them feature a male lead who is, initially at least, a very creepy jerk. But the 50 Shades trilogy, from what I gather (I've only read the first one, only so I could discuss it) does have the traditional ending where the man "reforms" because of the heroine's powerful love. Which is a very common fantasy.

I have problems with the pathologizing of women's sexual fantasies. Analyzing them is one thing, but all the handwringing about "OMG women are reading PORN!" and "OMG this relationship is NOT A HEALTHY ROLE MODEL" starts to wear on me after a while, because it doesn't acknowledge how fantasies really work, and it really starts to infantilize women as these mindless creatures who need to be protected from their own wank fodder.

Confusious

(8,317 posts)
4. It's the bad boy thing
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 03:35 PM
Jul 2012

Every woman thinks they can fix the guy, most times they can't.

The woman fixes the bad boy in the book.

derby378

(30,262 posts)
7. The late Bill Hicks had an observation about women and "bad boys"
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 03:37 PM
Jul 2012

You can listen to it here:

Dreamer Tatum

(10,996 posts)
16. Women like to read and watch stories about rich men boning them.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 04:44 PM
Jul 2012

See Lifetime Movie Network, for example.

antigone382

(3,682 posts)
23. And they don't at all like to read stories about rejecting wealth to be with a poor man...
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 06:28 PM
Jul 2012

...that's why Titanic was such a flop. And A Knight's Tale. And The Princess Bride.

Dreamer Tatum

(10,996 posts)
49. "Hi, I'm a poor man. I'd like to tie you up and humiliate you for my sexual pleasure."
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:30 PM
Jul 2012

Um, yeah.

antigone382

(3,682 posts)
61. Like all those stories about women falling in love with the underdog bandits who kidnap them?
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:16 PM
Jul 2012

Maybe some women like stories of being degraded by rich sociopaths. Maybe others like stories about running away with penniless rebels. Maybe others like Bonnie & Clyde/Natural Born Killers/Badlands/Boxcar Bertha outlaw lovers stories....maybe some like abandoned-on-a-desert-island survival fantasies...maybe some like rescue fantasies (either being the rescued or the rescuer)...maybe different women have a wide range of fantasies that don't all boil down to our shallow desire for wealth at all costs.

Chemisse

(31,341 posts)
204. Getting 'ravaged' by a rich guy is at the rock bottom of MY list of fantasies.
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 05:18 PM
Jul 2012

I've always preferred the 'bad boys' (except in real life of course). And they are never rich.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
104. Well, to be fair, there are lots of guys who like to be tied up too.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 10:51 PM
Jul 2012

Last edited Sun Jul 29, 2012, 11:49 PM - Edit history (1)

They just read about it in porn mags instead of new york times best sellers ... LOL

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
196. I mean, that was a book by a well-regarded author, that sold lots of copies, and involved dudes
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 04:30 PM
Jul 2012

being tied up by women, and not the other way around.

TheCruces

(224 posts)
232. Did it ever occur to you that people can derive sexual pleasure from being tied up and humiliated?
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 11:09 PM
Jul 2012

Dreamer Tatum

(10,996 posts)
240. Sure. As long as that man is rich.
Wed Aug 1, 2012, 10:25 AM
Aug 2012

Otherwise show me the mainstream books wherein a poor man humiliates a woman for his jollies.

Stories like that are usually shown on Dateline.

TheCruces

(224 posts)
255. Wow...not only is your post clueless about BDSM...
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 03:26 AM
Aug 2012

but it's also classist and heteronormative.

Dreamer Tatum

(10,996 posts)
256. Oh fuck that shit
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 11:11 AM
Aug 2012

Show me the successful mainstream novels/movies wherein a poor man attracts a woman
for the purposes of sexual gratification through humiliation and domination.

You can't.

The rich man exploiting a younger woman for his jollies is practically an archetype.

aikoaiko

(34,214 posts)
273. FYI
Sun Aug 5, 2012, 12:06 AM
Aug 2012


At Sat Aug 4, 2012, 11:53 PM an alert was sent on the following post:

Lucky for me - your post was bullshit. nt
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=1065964

REASON FOR ALERT:

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate. (See <a href="http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=aboutus#communitystandards" target="_blank">Community Standards</a>.)

ALERTER'S COMMENTS:

Personal attack.

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Sun Aug 5, 2012, 12:03 AM, and the Jury voted 0-6 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: No explanation given
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: No explanation given
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: Calling a post bullshit is not a personal attack. It is literary criticism. I disagree with Dreamer Tatum stance in this thread, but I can't hide this post.
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: No explanation given

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.

Dreamer Tatum

(10,996 posts)
263. No, you are clueless about my point. I say again:
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 03:00 PM
Aug 2012

MAINSTREAM.


We are talking about BOOKS THAT SELL MILLIONS.


You are correct: I (thankfully) know nothing about the BDSM world.

antigone382

(3,682 posts)
69. I don't really understand how that makes sense.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:27 PM
Jul 2012

"hot" or not, poor is poor.

And if it's shallow and self-absorbed to enjoy fantasies about being with a rich man, and it's shallow and self-absorbed to enjoy fantasies about being with a poor man, what type of female fantasies are acceptable?

 

lumberjack_jeff

(33,224 posts)
76. If the point of books like this is escapist fantasy...
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:47 PM
Jul 2012

it's reasonable to extrapolate the nature of that fantasy.

Acceptable? They're all acceptable. Some are simply more interesting to one who studies human nature than others. The fact that 50 shades of gray is immensely popular, yet in such marked contrast to what people say they want, is very interesting.

In romance novels and chick-flick storylines, wealth generally figures prominently - it is a central conflict.

Escapist guy entertainment generally tends to treat wealth as simply a literary device to explain why Ironman can afford to build all the cool shit. No one cares whether Gwyneth Paltrow has money.

My feeling is that guys compulsively chase money and wealth to conform with women's fantasies and expectations. They don't personally care whether they are Peter Parker (without two thin dimes to rub together) or Bruce Wayne, or Jason Bourne, who finds money in the way a Halo player finds health packs.

Odin2005

(53,521 posts)
78. Such fantasies show underlying social conditioning.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:51 PM
Jul 2012

Unless you think rape fantasies are genetic.

 

lumberjack_jeff

(33,224 posts)
79. I think you're replying to someone else.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:53 PM
Jul 2012

Because nothing in this post is germane, relevant or topical to anything I said.

antigone382

(3,682 posts)
80. Immensely popular to some....
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:57 PM
Jul 2012

...not all, and I'd wager not among more mature female readers who are familiar with the components of really fantastic sex.

As for the wealth angle...the traditional social unacceptability of women earning their own wages, especially after marriage, and thus their dependence on either men or their own inheritances for livelihood, makes it inevitable that it would be a central conflict, especially in a lot of the Romantic and Victorian fiction from which modern romance novels grew. I don't think it's innate...in fact, in other cultures the responsibility for bringing wealth into the marriage rests on the woman and her family...the pressures on new brides to bring a substantial dowry to a marriage are so high in India, with consequences like mental and physical torture and bride-burning, or even the abortion, murder, or suicide of daughters who are perceived as a financial burden by their families, that giving a dowry is now illegal (which has by no means ended the practice). In this case, a woman has become a means of securing money, rather than money being a means of securing a woman.

 

LanternWaste

(37,748 posts)
157. What then is the reasonable extrapolation of the person playing Grand Theft Auto?
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 11:34 AM
Jul 2012

"It's reasonable to extrapolate the nature of that fantasy...."

Much as can be done with video games?
What then is the reasonable extrapolation of the person playing Grand Theft Auto?

 

lumberjack_jeff

(33,224 posts)
158. Stealing cars looks exciting and fun.
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 11:55 AM
Jul 2012

In practice, it's too dangerous, morally wrong and illegal to do in real life, so it's only practical to do it on a tv screen.

What I don't see is a massive rhetorical outpouring of righteous indignation at women who suggest that men are entertained by storylines about things that are illegal or antisocial.

In contrast, the mere suggestion that women's popular entertainment provides some insights into their fantasies and desires is subject verboten.

 

4th law of robotics

(6,801 posts)
163. Jack died in the titanic
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 02:02 PM
Jul 2012

so she never actually had to give up her wealth. In a knights tale he was knighted which conferred wealth and prestige. And Westley was a pirate king, not exactly a pauper.

Stories of women *actually* giving up wealth to live with a garbage man or the like are exceedingly rare and never go in to the minutia of life after the initial romance (fighting over bills, cutting out luxuries, forgoing any sort of material wealth and so on).

antigone382

(3,682 posts)
164. Umm...at the end of the Titanic she abandons her family and assumes a new identity...
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 02:25 PM
Jul 2012

...with no guarantee that she'll end up OK. And it's no surprise that schmaltzy romances have happy endings where the hero and heroine end up all right in every respect, including financially.


Are you arguing that abandoning wealth or the promise of wealth for "true love" are not very prominent themes in romance?

How about "Far and Away" with Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise...

A quick google search turned up a few titles that feature a "common-born" or poor romantic hero:

Homeward Hearts
The Leopard Prince
McKenna's Bride
...and several others

(I'm not into romance novels so I haven't thoroughly read the plots of each of these titles, but they were all mentioned by romance readers...I'm assuming most of whom were female...who specifically wanted to read romances with "regular guys" as the hero).

Then there are books that deal with the inverse. In Wuthering Heights, the main character chooses a the rich and socially acceptable man over the man who she truly loves, her orphaned childhood companion, the results of which more or less doom all three characters in the book (she dies from stress-induced illness, her lover turns more or less totally dark and bitter, and her husband suffers the consequences of his wife's death and her lover's revenge, ultimately dying young as well).

Going beyond "rich," there are all kinds of love stories where the female heroine chooses the less seemingly charismatic character because he is a better human being. Going beyond that, there are as many other romantic themes out there as anyone could think up...because as it so happens, women are an incredibly diverse lot and not all consumed with wealth or any other one thing.

Lastly, if male wealth is such a precondition for female interest, what's up with dowries? In India and other countries, female offspring are viewed as a burden and are often aborted, killed, or driven to suicide because of the pressure that supplying a dowry places on them and their families...and once they become brides, they are often tormented, abused, or killed in horrific ways by their husbands/husbands' families, if the wealth they bring into their new families is considered insufficient.


JVS

(61,935 posts)
210. Did you see the big fucking diamond she chucked in the water at the end?
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 05:50 PM
Jul 2012

All her life she had that guarantee that she'd be well off.

antigone382

(3,682 posts)
241. K, point taken. So how about Sweet Home Alabama?
Wed Aug 1, 2012, 12:23 PM
Aug 2012

...another very popular romance directed at women where the heroine goes for the working class guy over the rich one.

There are tons of other examples of women choosing love over wealth, or of wealth not being much of a factor at all, in the cheesy romance sector. And of course 99% of them have impossibly happy endings. They're cheesy romances. The point is that the popularity of "50 Shades of Grey" among *some* women (with others finding it utterly trite and out of sync with their own romantic fantasies) does not provide evidence for the premise that a wealthy man is something that all women universally desire on some innate level (and even more troublingly, the idea that they enjoy being degraded by their wealthy lovers), as it is not borne out by an objective examination of the many kinds of silly romance stories that have appealed to women over time, where wealth is either an insignificant factor in the first place, or where wealth is a major obstacle towards true love.

antigone382

(3,682 posts)
173. How do you define "exceedingly rare"?
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 05:27 PM
Jul 2012

Because choosing love over money is one of the most universal themes in romance.

And of course they don't usually deal with the problems that would come after such a choice. It's romantic fiction...it's idealized and silly. Arguments over doing the dishes or paying the cell phone bill are not going to be included. What's your point?

Justitia

(9,317 posts)
66. Guess you skipped 'Lady Chatterley's Lover'
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:24 PM
Jul 2012

it's been kind of a hit for a very long time.....

Quantess

(27,630 posts)
34. Oh. You sound like one of THOSE guys,
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:01 PM
Jul 2012

who see all women as shallow creatures.

How about you? Are you one of those shallow males who looks for a hottie with large/silicone breasts, regardless of any other qualities? If so, then I hope you shallow people find each other.

Quantess

(27,630 posts)
56. No.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:52 PM
Jul 2012

Maybe that was harsh of me. There are all kinds in this world, but not everyone is motivated by the same thing. That was my basic point.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
137. Yes, in fact, you are.
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 07:17 AM
Jul 2012

You're responsible for everything.

In fact, none of us are really here. We are all inside your head.




Do you know who you are?
 

Zalatix

(8,994 posts)
125. Take your WORST nightmare interpretation of Dreamer Tatum's view on women.
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 03:45 AM
Jul 2012

It utterly pales in comparison to the portrayal of women in "50 Shades of Grey".

Utterly friggin pales.

antigone382

(3,682 posts)
35. Not all women say that, and not all women are into 50 Shades...
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:07 PM
Jul 2012

And a lot of women are saying that 50 Shades is harmful, degrading, and objectifying.

And even among women who do say that porn is harmful, degrading, and objectifying, the vast majority only say that certain *forms* of porn have this problem.

HappyMe

(20,277 posts)
42. Not this woman.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:18 PM
Jul 2012

The only reason I probably won't read it, is because it's ridiculously poorly written.
Other than that, I don't have a problem with it.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
261. Not all women
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 02:15 PM
Aug 2012

Some women like porn, some women like BDSM- In fact, I know lots of them.

Mz Pip

(28,446 posts)
10. I've skimmed through the first 2
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 03:43 PM
Jul 2012

and this review sums up the books quite well.

In the middle of the second book one quote really jumped out at me. Anastasia is pondering her relationship with Grey and wonders "Why can't I endure pain for the man I love?" I found that very disturbing. She's beating up on herself because she can't endure being tied up and hit.

Abusive relationships in reality do have the woman continually trying to do whatever is necessary to please the guy. It's never enough. I can only hope that the readers of this book do not end up believing they can change a man's abusive behavior; that they can rescue him from his inner demons; if they just tried harder to understand and be there for him he will change his ways. It's a very unrealistic and dangerous message to send to a young, naive woman.

 

cali

(114,904 posts)
11. It's boring. it's so boring I couldn't make it through it
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 03:45 PM
Jul 2012

and I'm stuck doing mostly nothing but reading and watching movies or TV while I wear a fucking electro-magnetic bone mender and nerve stimulators 8 hours a day.

It really does make the novels of my youth by Mary Stewart and Anya Seton and such look like masterpieces of great literature.

And yeah, it's really yucky as well as boring- and for the reasons elaborated on in the article.

 

virgogal

(10,178 posts)
33. It's not only boring but the writing style is inferior. It's just a poorly written book. I finished
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:00 PM
Jul 2012

the first book today and have no intention of reading the other 2.

 

Scootaloo

(25,699 posts)
39. Well, remember its origin
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:12 PM
Jul 2012

"Shades of Grey" is essentially "Twilight" fanfiction.

Fanfiction is usually really bad.
Twilight's original writing is the wost I've ever seen outside of self-publishing.

Do the math.

HappyMe

(20,277 posts)
46. I never read any of the Twilights.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:28 PM
Jul 2012

I figured it was teen girl schmaltz. I'm a bit old for that.

 

Scootaloo

(25,699 posts)
51. I accept quality from all areas
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:38 PM
Jul 2012

Behold; pony avatar.

I also enjoy a few lines of "young adult" fiction, such as Cherie Priest's "Clockwork Century" series. "Hunger Games" was readable, but not impressive.

Twilight was bad enough that I wanted to stick an electric toothbrush up my nose to try to scrub my brain of the little bits and pieces I allowed myself to remember.

Never read Twilight fanfiction... but I've read other fanfiction, and the quality is almost always below the quality of the original, and only very rarely on par - it's never better than the original material, since fanfiction is trapped within the confines of the original material.

 

smirkymonkey

(63,221 posts)
214. Everyone keeps telling me to read it and for some reason, I have aboslutely no interest whatsoever.
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 07:22 PM
Jul 2012

I'm not sure why, but from what I have heard it jst simply doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. I'm not a prude. It just doesn't seem liike it's worth my time. There are so many other interesting books that I would like to read, this one just seems like a waste of time. I also can't stand books that are porribly written,

joshcryer

(62,536 posts)
172. Fifty Shades of Alice in Wonderland is much better.
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 05:19 PM
Jul 2012

Has an epic cover to boot.

I don't understand why Fifty Shades is so popular except that old housewives just want to be manhandled or something. I don't get it.

kentauros

(29,414 posts)
221. I started reading that the other day.
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 09:16 PM
Jul 2012

It's good so far (I'm not a fast reader, so haven't read much.)

Also, it's currently available for free at Amazon.com. Because I read Joe Konrath's blog, I saw his interview with the author, Melinda DuChamp, and the fact that I could download it for free. And then there's the cover:



http://jakonrath.blogspot.com/2012/07/fifty-shades-of-alice-in-wonderland.html


kentauros

(29,414 posts)
228. He writes some excellent rants, too!
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 09:42 PM
Jul 2012

You might want to get the ebook he did with Barry Eisler ("Be the Monkey&quot which is really just some blog posts they did together a couple of years ago. I got it free, so it might still be available for free. The two of them really take the industry to task, as well as the authors propping the legacy publishers up. It was a fun read

Always happy to share great sites like that, so it's good to see you enjoy it

 

noamnety

(20,234 posts)
13. Not so different from Beauty and the Beast
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 03:51 PM
Jul 2012

the disneyfied version of "if you just love them enough and put up with enough, you can change an abusive asshole into a prince."

It's no wonder when we teach that message to girls as a love story before they are old enough to realize the implications, they'll retain some of that message as adults and fantasize about it.

WorseBeforeBetter

(11,441 posts)
14. I haven't read the books and don't plan to.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 03:56 PM
Jul 2012

Some of the Amazon reviews were hilarious, and those were enough for me to know I wouldn't be able to get through the books. And any women I know "devouring" the series are those without much sexual experience, which tells me something. And doesn't the woman get the Architectural Digest-worthy house (castle?) in the end? Maybe that's part of it.

I'll Netflix the movie, though, depending on who is cast in the lead roles.

Bozvotros

(961 posts)
17. "50 Shades" presents a temporary reversal from the prevailing cultural eros
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 05:09 PM
Jul 2012

celebrating or at least focusing on narcissistic, histrionic, dominating women and the men who serve or service them. Or maybe it is just the same theme told a different way.

Consider the following television shows: Housewives of Orange County, Atlanta, New York, Miami etc, Mob Wives, NBA wives, the god awful Kardashians (all of them), Jersey Shores, Jerseylicious, Bridezilla, Bad Girls Club, America's Top Model and more all the time. To some degree you can add Sex in the City and Desperate Housewives and half a dozen other mini series with a similar kind of heroine. The female lead is usually a heavily made up, anorexic, surgically-enhanced-cleavage baring woman wielding almost total control over the men in their lives or venting fury because they can't. (For some reason I had this flash of Ann Romney wielding a riding crop on a cringing but excited Mitt Romney). Most of the men featured in these shows are simply foils for these women who seem to feel some entitlement to use and discard them for the privilege of being near them. And their relationship with other women is not much better. Lots of people must be watching a lot of this awful stuff because there is an awful lot of it on TV.

Perhaps this books popularity is because women are feeling this is an impossibly exhausting erotic ideal to achieve or maintain. Or maybe 50 Shades just presents another way to be someone's obsessive object and ultimately control them in the end. (Topping from the bottom). Both extremes seem deeply cynical and demeaning toward women and men.

Ghost of Tom Joad

(1,443 posts)
18. sounds like the film "The Story of O"
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 05:29 PM
Jul 2012

except poorly written. The Twilight series is also poorly written and very successful. No accounting for taste apparently.

bhikkhu

(10,789 posts)
19. I was told once that there are two basic female fantasies:
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 05:44 PM
Jul 2012

being out of control or losing control, and being controlled. I can't say it is was said in a nice way, and I think it only would only apply to a portion of a psyche (which is inherently complex), but if you look at romance novels and such as evidence of a fantasy life, it does seem to fit.

Bozvotros

(961 posts)
48. How do you explain all the shows that represent almost exactly the opposite?
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:29 PM
Jul 2012

I don't think that it is a lot of men watching those shows....unless someone is making them. Maybe you are saying it is their fantasy to be out of controlled or controlled by someone else because they feel exhausted by a need to stay in control. That kind of makes sense or at least it is similar to what they have been saying about business tycoons who visit a dominatrix to "relax."

bhikkhu

(10,789 posts)
101. Categorization of attitudes is by custom, not biology
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 10:22 PM
Jul 2012

...or, rather, that if someone says "these fantasies are female fantasies, and these fantasies are male fantasies", then tradition builds up around them and tends to direct people's thoughts and habits. Really, if we've learned anything about the mind and gender roles in the past few decades. its that mentally we are, or can be, free of gender distinctions. All roles and perspectives are human roles and perspectives, not gender-specific.

xmas74

(30,054 posts)
20. I tried to read it after everyone talked about it.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 05:50 PM
Jul 2012

I still haven't made it past chapter two. What a dull, boring book!

Tuesday Afternoon

(56,912 posts)
24. that was me, too. it is so poorly written and the plot line is so trite that I was bored.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 06:35 PM
Jul 2012

chapter two and I was snoring

Justitia

(9,317 posts)
65. Amen to that. Pick up the "Sleeping Beauty" trilogy, people!
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:22 PM
Jul 2012

In the same vein, way better writing.

bedazzled

(1,885 posts)
86. they have reissues of the anne rice beauty books at target now!
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 09:16 PM
Jul 2012

cover says "if you LIKED FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY."

i love anne rice, and that is clever marketing...

bedazzled

(1,885 posts)
142. aren't those books a HOOT? it's hard to believe such an elegant lady could come up with them
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 07:44 AM
Jul 2012

anne rice is a national treasure. the vampire books are my favorites.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
208. Like i said, she wrote "exit to Eden" under a pseudonym
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 05:44 PM
Jul 2012

And that predated much of the alleged "pornification" in society, which Dines (convolutedly) tries to blame for 50 Shades... It also contained the same sorts of allegedly "problematic" elements of consensual adult BDSM...


AND it spawned an absolutely horrible movie with Dan Ackroyd and Rosie O'Donnell, to boot.





Dana Delaney was hot in it, though.

LongTomH

(8,636 posts)
219. Now, you've done it! I'm going to have fantasies about being whipped by Rosie O'Donnell...
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 09:06 PM
Jul 2012

...in a leather corset!

Seriously, Dana Delaney was hot, and there were some scenes that were good, visually.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
223. It was a long time ago that I actually watched it
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 09:20 PM
Jul 2012

but, yes, she could boss me around in any way she saw fit.

Chorophyll

(5,179 posts)
36. I'd just like to point out: women have been reading "naughty" books for a long time.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:07 PM
Jul 2012

And what we read isn't necessarily what we want in real life. We read murder mysteries and war novels and medical dramas too. This book just happened to get hyped in a big way.

ETA: I haven't read it. Based on excerpts I've seen, the writing is AWFUL.

madmom

(9,681 posts)
38. Maybe for the same reason I read twilight. Yes it was as bad as they say. I read
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:12 PM
Jul 2012

it just to say I did, so when the ladies (have a couple friends who loved it) start talking about it I am able to state my objections from an educated positions. I really hated that series

 

Scootaloo

(25,699 posts)
43. I too read Twilight just so I could argue from an informed position
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:18 PM
Jul 2012

it didn't work. Reading those books triggered some self-defense mechanism in my brain, and I forgot what iI read as soon as I turned the page. Now, I remember some events in hte story, owing mostly to them being so bizarre and unbelievable that it made me think Tom Green was the ghostwriter... but, yeah. I remember nothing specific.

Ever seen what happens to a fish if you smack two rocks together underwater? That's how I felt reading that series. Stunned and swimming in erratic circles.

xmas74

(30,054 posts)
50. The only thing I really remember in Twilight
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:33 PM
Jul 2012

is about him watching her sleep and when he said that he really liked how she smelled. Those were total WTF moments.

I've forgotten everything else.

madmom

(9,681 posts)
55. lol I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes though when they mention
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:51 PM
Jul 2012

something, it triggers memories (or should I say nightmares). It really was a waste of time IMO.

Arkana

(24,347 posts)
147. Pretty much. I read them just so I could understand the Rifftrax.
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 09:23 AM
Jul 2012

It became easier to make fun of them once I knew what I was making fun of.

Also, does anyone know how they avoided an R rating in the movie where the child fucking CHEWS HER WAY OUT of the girl's body?

Pholus

(4,062 posts)
133. The MIT Sci-Fi Society review of twilight is great though...
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 06:57 AM
Jul 2012

The only review of theirs that was just a picture.

Summer Hathaway

(2,770 posts)
52. Maybe because women
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:41 PM
Jul 2012

are adults, and are free to read whatever they choose to read, without needing anyone's permission to do so?

Just a thought ...

Gemini Cat

(2,820 posts)
212. Didn't see anyone say it shouldn't be read
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 06:38 PM
Jul 2012

just saw where people were wondering why it was so popular.
You may read whatever you like, no one will stop you, can you dig it?



Summer Hathaway

(2,770 posts)
227. Oh, I can dig it.
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 09:31 PM
Jul 2012

I can also 'dig' what is said by people who deign to criticize and/or psycho-analyze what women choose to read, and why.

I think it falls into the none of anyone else's fuckin' business category - but that's just me.

Summer Hathaway

(2,770 posts)
252. If I were any more relaxed
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 01:09 AM
Aug 2012

I'd be dead.

I just find it amusing when people start psychoanalyzing who's reading what, and why.

Warpy

(114,602 posts)
54. Same reason they read "Justine" 200+ years ago
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 07:47 PM
Jul 2012

It was so sinfully over the top some of them cackled over it as satire while others were just openmouthed at a whole world they'd completely missed given the social constraints on the lives of women.

It's a vicarious experience of a life most of them would very sensibly try to avoid.

negativenihil

(795 posts)
59. As long as people are reading...
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:06 PM
Jul 2012

WHO CARES!

I'd rather see hundreds of people reading trashy novels than glued to reality TV.

Same goes for Twilight, or any other hyper popular book that a percentage of the population "just doesn't understand why its so popular".

Read a book, any book. Today.

JI7

(93,577 posts)
64. actually i think the people who are into these books are the same ones into crap tv shows
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:19 PM
Jul 2012

JI7

(93,577 posts)
60. Not this woman, the bet most women who are into it have not read many books
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:13 PM
Jul 2012

or probably read similar crap pushed by the media. they probably liked twilight also.

 

adigal

(7,581 posts)
136. Do you think The audience is the same as the people who love Jane Austen? I don't! Nt
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 07:08 AM
Jul 2012

HappyMe

(20,277 posts)
145. Why not?
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 09:21 AM
Jul 2012

I see nothing wrong with reading some Jane Austin and then reading some junk fiction.

I wasn't made aware of the Rules of Reading- Sweeping Generalizations Division.

 

adigal

(7,581 posts)
149. For me, I love austen, and the horrible writing in these works would make me nuts!
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 10:25 AM
Jul 2012

I love my fun fiction, too, but it has to at least be well written.

HappyMe

(20,277 posts)
150. Pretty much why I won't be
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 10:31 AM
Jul 2012

reading this book. I'd probaby scream and toss it out the window.

 

lumberjack_jeff

(33,224 posts)
67. One can gain insights into culture through examining what we read.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:25 PM
Jul 2012

I haven't read the book, and probably won't, but what I've read about it suggests a difficult to reconcile paradox between what women fantasize about find to be interesting reading and what we're told they want/desire/respect.

Men get mixed messages. It's no surprise that people are confused.

antigone382

(3,682 posts)
75. Are you parodying the argument that rape porn might mean men actually want to rape women?
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:39 PM
Jul 2012

And you certainly can discover a lot about culture from examining such things...quite possibly, the popularity of powerless heroines and their powerful and dangerous male lovers among certain segments of the female population--and the revulsion towards those same stories by other segments of the female population--raises important points about both human diversity and the possibility that our romantic and sexual fantasies are influenced very heavily by our social environments.

I question the messages these books send to women about relationships, and I consider them a product of a culture that does not provide healthy models for any gender, but I don't roll my eyes at Twilight or 50 Shades out of some sense of feminist duty. I just find them silly and unappealing. I can't relate to the heroines in the story, and I'm not drawn to the heroes. They don't do it for me.

 

lumberjack_jeff

(33,224 posts)
77. 50 shades of Gray has sold more than 30 million copies.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:51 PM
Jul 2012

I don't have to appreciate the book to acknowledge that it fulfills an entertainment need for a great many readers.

antigone382

(3,682 posts)
83. If all of those sales are only in the United States...
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 09:01 PM
Jul 2012

...and assuming that only women have purchased the book, that comes to about 15% of the female population...not an insignificant number, but nowhere close to even a majority.

Kablooie

(19,107 posts)
70. Maybe because it's so colorful?
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:29 PM
Jul 2012

I mean a full fifty shades of Grey. Whew! That's a lot.
I thought there were only three or four.

Occulus

(20,599 posts)
87. That isn't even the half of it.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 09:16 PM
Jul 2012

Literally. There are actually 256 shades of grey, numbered 0-255.

I'm serious! Open MS Paint and go to greyscale mode, you'll see what I mean!

EOTE

(13,409 posts)
248. And that's just 8-bit greyscale.
Wed Aug 1, 2012, 05:25 PM
Aug 2012

Move up to 16-bit greyscale and... holy fuck that's a lot of grey.

Odin2005

(53,521 posts)
71. Same reason they read romance novels involving being raped by a billionaire.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:29 PM
Jul 2012

Brainwashing my a misogynist society.

HappyMe

(20,277 posts)
74. Yes, we're so weak minded
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:33 PM
Jul 2012

that a poorly written work of fiction turn us all into sex zombies.

 

LanternWaste

(37,748 posts)
156. I imagine video games are part and parcel of the same agenda?
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 11:32 AM
Jul 2012

I imagine video games are part and parcel of the same sinister agenda?

riverbendviewgal

(4,396 posts)
82. I haven't read it
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 08:59 PM
Jul 2012

my girlfriend started to read it and found it boring. We both have had extremely good sex in our relationships with our men, so I figured I could not bother reading it.

My other girlfriend just mentioned it yesterday and she said she found it so exciting but she also says she has not ever had an orgasm nor has she had sex in years. She does not even masturbate.. as she feels "too shy".

So maybe this novel turns on women who just don't have good sex or ever had any.


I had great sex with my husband when he was alive...I had good sex with partners after he died. Once you have that great sex you appreciate you did have it. As they say "it is better to have been loved, than never have loved." It is the same with good sex .

That is why I really can enjoy "Magic Mike". and remember those good times I once had. Wowie!!!

 

opiate69

(10,129 posts)
85. Stopped reading at "the sex in Fifty Shades is as cruel and sadistic as in mainstream porn"
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 09:16 PM
Jul 2012

Well, actually I didn't but, conflating mainstream porn and BDSM only serves to prove the fact that, despite Gail Dines' credentials, she is woefully and profoundly ignorant of both mainstream porn and BDSM.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
88. OH NOES!
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 09:22 PM
Jul 2012

Adults are getting off on something that other people consider "problematic" and it obviously implies all kinds of terrible heteronormative harmy flimflarn about male gaze patriarchy erotoxin brainwashing fitshnardlopriscipy hooznatitz!

Help! Quick, do something!

Fifty Shades of Grey is Harlequin on steroids, a kind of romance novel for the porn age in which overt sexual sadism masquerades as adoration and love


Yes, because a) there is a "good" kind of consenting adult sex (not the kind YOU like, sicko!) and b) of course, kink never existed before PORN DESTROYED OUR BEAUTIFUL MINDS!!!!

 

hifiguy

(33,688 posts)
191. Criticizing the content is one thing.
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 11:38 AM
Jul 2012

Criticizing the writing is quite another. I once managed a sci-fi/comics/alt-lit shop and one of the weekend guys made an all time great observation about genre literature: "I can put up with bad science far more easily than I can put up with bad fiction." Too true.

AnnieBW

(12,707 posts)
89. It's "Twilight" for Mommies
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 09:24 PM
Jul 2012

It started out as "Twilight" fanfic, with "Christian" being "Edward" and "Anastasia" as Bella. Frankly, it's for women that don't know how to find good BDSM erotica on-line, cheaper and better written. Not to mention one that doesn't have a sick relationship as the heart of it.

Response to AnnieBW (Reply #89)

AnnieBW

(12,707 posts)
108. Shoot, anyone with an Internet connection can read better erotica!
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 11:22 PM
Jul 2012

`All they need to do is use the Google.

I'm not against erotica or smut. I'm against poorly written smut!

Response to AnnieBW (Reply #108)

 

hifiguy

(33,688 posts)
192. Fan fiction, by its very nature,
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 11:39 AM
Jul 2012

tends to be awful. Fan art can be quite lovely, but fan fiction is usually dreck.

kentauros

(29,414 posts)
229. Good fanfiction depends on (at least) two important facts
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 09:54 PM
Jul 2012

(there may be more, but these came to mind first.)

1. The source material
2. Taking the writing seriously.

The majority of fanfic I've read either didn't have good source material (any of the various cheap and overly popular anime, like Pokemon) or the writers didn't take their time to edit and/or ponder their story fully. All too often, I've offered some criticisms and gotten the typical response, "I'm just doing this for fun! Don't be so critical!"

Well, I've written some fanfiction ("I Dream of Jeannie&quot and it's always taken me months to finish a story. Because I take my writing seriously enough to edit and polish, not to mention creating a compelling story, one that even people not normally readers of fanfiction would want to read.

I haven't read either Twilight or 50 Shades due to having some standards in quality. I've had enough friends tell me not to bother. Bad writing quality turns me off even for subjects I like (djinn, centaurs, science fiction.)

Which reminds me, I have some editing to do

 

hifiguy

(33,688 posts)
233. Good point.
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 11:20 PM
Jul 2012

An awful lot of fanfic seems to be written by people with few if any writing skills. I have read some pretty decent fan fiction but you have to shovel an awful lot of coal to get to the few precious stones.

kentauros

(29,414 posts)
235. Or just know people that read or write it
Wed Aug 1, 2012, 01:59 AM
Aug 2012

with the same standards for quality

Even there, you'll still have to slog through some sub-standard stories. Of course, you won't have to read the whole thing, making it even less to deal with.

One thing that irks me about some writers of fanfic that I know is when they post something to fanfiction.net and it's substandard crap! I know they can do better, yet insist on falling back on the "I'm just doing it for fun" excuse. I write for fun, too (with the possibility that a non-fanfic story I have going will be published.) But I have personal standards, and it reflects badly on me to post stuff I wouldn't normally allow to see the Internet Light of Day. Why settle for less?

However, upon reading some of this epic thread, I see that this book is really a reflection of America today. Education standards are down from what they were decades ago. I'm not saying kids have to read the classics (in my younger years, I really abhorred Steinbeck's "The Pearl" yet loved Homer's "The Odyssey" and H.G. Wells' "The Man Who Could Work Miracles".) Only that their teachers get them to see what quality writing can be like and compare it to what's popular now.

Of course, it's difficult to fault any of these "lesser" writers for finding their audience, no matter how we may pick their writing styles apart. They're making millions entertaining people with what those masses want. I'll just reach for a more educated audience to entertain

 

Marr

(20,317 posts)
90. I don't think you can read much into it.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 09:31 PM
Jul 2012

There's always going to be an element of the taboo in pornography. People may be excited privately by abstract ideas or archetypes that they would find repellent in reality.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
92. Gail Dines is pro-censorship and associated with the Religious Right anti-porn movement
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 09:39 PM
Jul 2012

Why are we quoting her, here?

 

noamnety

(20,234 posts)
116. I don't know where you got the idea she's right wing.
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 12:58 AM
Jul 2012

She aligns herself with Marx and Chomsky, and everyone I know who's pushed her views is anti-corporate power, mostly self-proclaimed socialists. Very left wing, more left than most of DU and most democrats.

"The left has a long history of fighting capitalist ownership of the media. From Karl Marx to Antonio Gramsci to Noam Chomsky, leftist thinkers have understood the corporate media to be the propaganda machine for capitalist ideas and values. By mainstreaming the ideologies of the elite, corporate-controlled media shapes our identities as workers and consumers, selling an image of success and happiness tied to the consumption of products that generate enormous wealth for the elite class. Alternative views are at best marginalised and at worst ridiculed."

"Women's self-loathing is big business, and supports a global capitalist system that, ironically, depends heavily on the exploitation of women's labour in developing countries. Adding insult to injury, many of these underpaid women are spending a significant proportion of their wages on skin-whitening products that promise social mobility out of the sweatshops." Gail Dines and Julia Long

The religious right is not exactly known for their appreciation of feminist activists. (Although, come to think of it, neither are some people who consider themselves progressives.)

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
117. So you missed the alliance of Andrea Dworkin, Catherine MacKinnon and Ed Meese, then?
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 01:07 AM
Jul 2012

Authoritarians of all stripes, people with anti-sex, censorious, or other control agendas, seem to find convenient ways to pal up. Dines is being heavily flogged by the same people who tout the "science" of Anti-Gay bigot Judith Reisman.

 

noamnety

(20,234 posts)
119. I think we call that "reaching across the aisle."
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 02:01 AM
Jul 2012

Even Obama does that from time to time. Doesn't make him rightwing. (although he's further right, I would argue, than Dines)

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
120. I don't think censorship and teaming up with Theocratic godbags is progressive in any fashion.
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 02:03 AM
Jul 2012

That's not 'reaching across the aisle', it's working for the other team.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
127. That was wrong, too.
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 04:19 AM
Jul 2012

However, there was no legislative agenda, either direct or implied, in any dealings with Rick Warren... unlike the likes of Dworkin and MacKinnon working with the Reagan Administration to fuck with the 1st Amendment.

It is good that we're unflinchingly critical of homophobic bigotry, though:

...which makes me wonder why people who have repeatedly praised the words and "science" of Judith Reisman, the same Judith Reisman who compared Student Gay-Straight Alliances to The Hitler Youth and blamed Gays for the Holocaust, are still allowed to post here.

 

HiPointDem

(20,729 posts)
129. "people who have repeatedly praised the words and "science" of Judith Reisman" - if that's
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 04:51 AM
Jul 2012

supposed to be about me, I have no idea who judith reisman in & doubt i've repeatedly praised her words and science.

so if you're saying i have, you're going to have to prove it.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
131. If that was "supposed to be about" you, I would have said so. I didn't.
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 06:24 AM
Jul 2012

Was the Rick Warren thing "supposed to be about" me?

That'd be funny, if it was.

No, no. But consider me helping you out, here- if you're seriously intending to commit yourself to the right-wing crusade against sex in movies, magazines, and books, it does help to be familiar with the names you're invariably going to be running across.

Like Dines.

And Reisman.

 

noamnety

(20,234 posts)
177. Your thoughts on McCain-Feingold?
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 02:59 AM
Jul 2012

I'm just pointing out that people do cooperate on legislation with the other party to meet a short term agenda goal, while opposing the vast majority of what that party stands for. Reference McCain-Feingold for instance.

So pointing to one joint effort on a specific topic as "proof" that someone is right or left wing fails a simple logic test. (If censorship of porn was the entirety of the republican platform, then you would be making a legitimate point.)

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
178. McCain-Feingold? You're really all over the map, here, aren't you.
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 03:39 AM
Jul 2012

Last edited Tue Jul 31, 2012, 05:23 AM - Edit history (1)

I've pointed out that the folks in the forefront of the so-called "anti-porn" movement are clearly deeply embedded with members of the religious right. Take a look at, for instance, who the trustees are of the "Lighted Candle Society", another group which has been favorably referenced in these threads.

It's not just "one joint effort"; it's been a long-term clear alliance, starting with MacKinnon and Dworkin and Meese, followed through to today. The reason for this is because the people deeply committed to censoring depictions or descriptions of consenting adult sex are a small, yet vocal, minority- most self-Described Feminists, for instance, don't want anything to do with censorship, or Dworkin, or the 2nd wave. So it's a minority. And the majority of that minority is comprised of religious fundamentalists.

As such, it's an alliance of desperation, or necessity in the case of folks like Reisman, because real, actual "scientists" who will spout gibberish about a picture of a naked boob being 100X more addictive than heroin, are hard to find indeed.

Beyond that, realistically... what "legislation" do you actually think is going to be achieved, here? Are you honestly under the impression that someone is going to start banning porn? Or Shitty erotic novels sold at Costco, for that matter?

I mean, talk about weird fantasies.

 

noamnety

(20,234 posts)
188. Not all over the map at all.
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 11:01 AM
Jul 2012

You rejected the Rick Warren example because it wasn't legislative. By your argument then, Feingold was a right winger because he teamed up McCain to write legislation.

You can continue to do your guilt by association when convenient deal though, it seems to be part of your gig to discredit feminists and feminism in general. I would like to hear your thoughts on how we can change our culture so that rape is not so prevalent, since you clearly are rejecting her ideas. What are your suggestions for that? Does the men's group ever discuss that?

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
198. I'm rejecting whose ideas?
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 04:41 PM
Jul 2012

Also, in case you haven't noticed, there are broad popular movements in Feminism (sex positive 3rd wavers, for instance) that reject the anti-porn censorship agenda of the likes of Dworkin, MacKinnon, Brownmiller, Dines, etc.

But, okay. Rape statistics are trending downward, you realize that, right?

I mean, one is too many. We can all agree on that.

Yes, in TMG, we do discuss it. Rape is not acceptable, nor are rape jokes. What are my "suggestions"? Well, one "suggestion" would be for certain people, like prominent self-proclaimed 2nd Wave Bloggers, to stop using what are at best charitably described as "extremely nuanced definitions of consent". No means no, each and every time. But that also implies that consenting adults who DO consent need the freedom and agency to make their own damn decisions. Which brings me to....


how did this come to be about "rape", exactly? Is 50 Shades of Grey about "rape"? I haven't read it, but I don't think it is. I think it's about consenting adult behavior. As is all the material Gail Dines rails against. What consenting adult sex has to do with "rape", exactly... Ever wonder why you're being told to mix up those things?

And see, if the anti-porn people were right and, say, pictures of consenting adults fucking had jack diddly to do with causing or otherwise facilitating rape, the statistics would be going up (what with the "pornification" and all) instead of down.

Right?

zazen

(2,978 posts)
203. the proposed legislation was civil, not criminal
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 05:16 PM
Jul 2012

It would give someone harmed in the making of pornography the right to sue the pornographers to get it off the shelves and to sue for compensatory damages.

Also, the family of the little Asian girl who was hanged from a tree in Chapel Hill two weeks after the January 1985 Penthouse issue of girls hanging from trees could sue for compensatory emotional damages, if they could illustrate the influence of the material.

There are many civil cases where plaintiffs have won on issues with much less obvious causation and less harm (hot coffee, robbers getting harmed when trespassing on someone else's property).

This was for CIVIL harm, not criminal. And it didn't entail prior restraint.

Fortunately, since the legislation, at least the presence of pornography in a work environment can be grounds for suing on the basis of creating a hostile environment for women.

I don't see you arguing that a worker putting up pictures of barely legal hot sluts being double penetrated in the workplace around his female co-workers ought to be protected speech.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
206. The legislation inferred all sorts of dubious Dworkinite baloney, starting with the axiom that
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 05:29 PM
Jul 2012
PIV penetrative sex in and of itself is deemed to inherently an oppressive, non-consensual act that harms women.

If one believes that ANY act of hetero sex is inherently oppressive or "degrading" to all women, everywhere, of course it makes sense (after a fashion) to try to claim that women as a class should be able to recoup damages from the depiction of "harmful acts" (ie sex)

Under the Dworkin-MacKinnon-Meese proposal, women as a class could sue over ANY depiction of hetero sex, because the act itself is deemed, in that line of thinking, to be an inherent act of oppresssion.

There are LOTS of places you cant do things, which is why despite my commitment to choice and freedom, i understand bans on smoking n indoor public spaces. Restricting WHERE you can do something is not the same as outlawing it entirely.

No, you cant put up a lot of things at work, but thats not what this is about, any of it.

A little honesty would be nice.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
224. It was coined at the '94 Dworkapalooza.
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 09:22 PM
Jul 2012

During the performance of noted grunge act Jerry and the Dworkulons.

zazen

(2,978 posts)
238. where in the ordinance does it say "any heterosexual sex?"
Wed Aug 1, 2012, 10:12 AM
Aug 2012

I remember reading it through several times and don't recall seeing that at all.

I assume you've read the Indianapolis and Minneapolis ordinances carefully or you wouldn't presume to make the claims you do above.

Dworkin lived with her lover John Stoltenberg until she died, and MacKinnon is quite straight (and has good taste, if you've ever taken a look at her seriously hot and brilliant ex-paramour Jeffrey Masson), so I would presume they've frequently enjoyed erect penises like the rest of us. It's just better when it's one aspect of a multifaceted human being who treats like you like you're a full human being too.

Every anti-pornography activist I know is quite into sex and lots of it. This thread said it better than any--crap like this book, and worse, gonzo stuff where people are literally hurt and it's doubtful that 30% are over 18, sober, non-battered and/or non-trafficked--is unimaginative and stupid. And repetitive and bor-ing.







Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
243. I assume you have evidence of this widespread non-consent in porn, then?
Wed Aug 1, 2012, 03:13 PM
Aug 2012

And evidence of this figure- what is it, 70%?- are underage?

Really?

That's an absolutely astounding allegation, there.

So, yeah, let's see some proof.

Now, as to the Minn. Ordinances:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catharine_MacKinnon#Antipornography_ordinances


The amendment defined pornography as a civil rights violation against women, and allowed women who claimed harm from pornography to sue the producers and distributors for damages in civil court.


Exactly. And WHY did it "define pornography as a civil rights violation against women"? Because it was based upon an axiomatic idea that SEX (and so, certainly, graphic depictions thereof) is in and of itself a political act that inherently oppresses women. This notion is central to EVERYTHING Dworkin wrote in the 70s and early 80s.

The Minnesota ordinances were CLEARLY drafted with MacKinnon and Dworkin's batshit "theories" about sex in mind. First and foremost, again, that the act of sex itself is inherently oppressive to women. This is, sorry, boilerplate basic "radfem 101". I am not making it up.

The fact that Dworkin supposedly lived with a man during part of her life, does not negate the fact that she swore off hetero sex and considered it, again, "immune to reform" (that's a direct quote). Even the man she lived with, Stoltenberg, felt she had gone completely bugfuck insane by the end of her life, when she was concocting strange stories about giant phantom penises pursuing her across the Champs Elysees.

And these crazies' theories about the inherent degrading nature and 'political oppressiveness' of sex were not limited, sadly, to MacKinnon and Dworkin, they live on, again, in the minds of the 2nd wave anti-porn folks who carry the censorship banner:

http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2011/07/18/a-bit-of-lighthearted-fun/

For it is the stated position of the Savage Death Island Chapter of Spinster Aunts International that, in a patriarchy, “consensual sex” (between women and dudes) doesn’t even exist.

nolabear

(43,850 posts)
94. 1) I just can't finish it and 2) I have a shrink's perspective
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 09:46 PM
Jul 2012

It is SO badly written. Anastasia may be the most annoying protagonist on the face of the earth, and I fear for any woman over 25 (up to then you get a youth and inexperience pass in my book) who identifies with her eye-rolling, lip-biting shallowness.

That said, there's a theory in psychology that women have always been so disrespected for having sexual desires and the urge to just get laid without it being within carefully proscribed social restraints that the "I have no choice" option is a fantasy not of pain or subjugation but of freedom to go outside the norm. The author beats this idea to death with her contract (DAMN that contract went on forEVER) and safe words and more condom wrapper ripping than I ever want to hear about in my natural life.

I think there might be something to the theory, and the reason a fantasy is best just that rather than something to justify acting on and flirting with real disaster. So far (and I may never finish the thing and find out any better) Grey has the childhood traumas, attachment issues and tendencies of a sociopath and a real life one would scare the crap out of me no matter how well his jeans hung off his hips.

obamanut2012

(29,357 posts)
98. For a much more realistic look at BDSM, rent "Secretary"
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 10:16 PM
Jul 2012

Consensual, loving relationship, and two very good actors. It's also quite funny.

("Lost" fans: Jeremy Davies has a supporting part.)

progressivebydesign

(19,458 posts)
99. I'd never read it. It's perfect for the Kardashian/American Idol crowd tho....
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 10:17 PM
Jul 2012

I have read enough about it to completely agree what what was written here.

Women have been so far removed from the struggles of their foresisters to make things equal, that they blindly bought what Corporate America needed them to be, 'women who care more about the height of their heels, and the size of their thighs, than they care about equality." If I see one more business-woman on a blog, or Pinterest, or FB, or twitter listing themselves as a "wife, Mommy, and business owner," I'll puke.

it's that same mentality. The stupid book is a fad. It's Harlequin Romance with porn.

Lone_Star_Dem

(28,158 posts)
102. Nothing wrong with a little kink if that's what floats your boat.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 10:44 PM
Jul 2012

I won't even begin to go into how Fifty Shades of Grey is not a realistic depiction of that specific type of kink. I will say I read a portion of the first book and couldn't read more. The protagonist was irritating, idiotic and one dimensional. The author has no skills at creating believable characters, nor at fleshing them out with words. It was simply one of the worst reads I've ever attempted.

As to why it's a success...I think perhaps it's because too many people don't know there are kinky, steamy novels written for women by authors who actually know how to write. Even still, I don't know how so many people have managed to suffer through such a horrific piece of tripe in print form.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
166. "Nothing wrong with a little kink if that's what floats your boat." ... BLASPHEMY!!!!!!
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 04:47 PM
Jul 2012

but but but butbutbut patriarchy heteronormative gender harmy harm phalloppressive male gaze objectification PIV 'so-called consent' eyeroll eyeroll heavy sigh patriarchal blahblah!

Blah!

 

Zax2me

(2,515 posts)
103. Because it is a guilty pleasure. And a cheap one at that.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 10:49 PM
Jul 2012

People liked to be entertained.
Read them all - just a love story really, all it is.
Let people have fun.
Fascism sucks.

AnnieBW

(12,707 posts)
109. Anyone with Google can find better written erotica on-line!
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 11:25 PM
Jul 2012

Seriously. I've written better fanfic than that! I'm not against smut. I'm against really poorly written smut!

eShirl

(20,244 posts)
184. Most people would have no idea where/how to look
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 06:15 AM
Jul 2012

if looking ever even occurred to them.

pinstikfartherin

(500 posts)
106. Wouldn't pay a penny for that crap.
Sun Jul 29, 2012, 10:59 PM
Jul 2012

After reading the first Twilight book, I fell into the twilight fan fiction because although it wasn't great writing, at least a lot of it was more adult and better writing than Twilight itself.

This was originally titled "Master of the Universe" and wasn't even good fan fiction... and 99% of fan fiction isn't good in the first place. It wasn't even worth reading the first chapters for free, let alone paying for it. I've come across only a couple of fan fiction works that I felt would be worth the price if re-written, cleaned up, and sold because their plots were actually more original, their characters were out of character from the originals, and they kept my attention. This was definitely not one of them.

a la izquierda

(12,326 posts)
112. The first book is a trainwreck...
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 12:02 AM
Jul 2012

And this from someone who reads a lot.
But i was also beaten by a guy. No need to read about it.

cecilfirefox

(784 posts)
113. Actually, my non-vanilla friends are in a riot of Fifty Shades of Grey.... They can't stand it!
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 12:09 AM
Jul 2012

First, it puts the 'submissive' person in a very... Slightly negative light. Sort of the, ' I'd never do this for any person... But THIS man, omg! ' and rightly so, queue /fairytale. There's also an accusation that the male romantic partner, the authoritative, manly, 'dom' in the relationship is somewhat presented as damaged. As if he'd be fixed if he only found the right woman.

Also, I've read better erotic fanfiction. Fifty Shades of Grey is actually pretty... Light in terms of erotica.

Its grocery store porn.

KatyaR

(3,639 posts)
114. Ugh, not for me.
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 12:37 AM
Jul 2012

A friend lent me the books, but when I found out what they were about, I gave them back. Totally unappealing to me....

JI7

(93,577 posts)
115. it's like the Justin Bieber of Books
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 12:45 AM
Jul 2012

pushed by the media , sucks, people buy into it because of all the promotion and shit.

AsahinaKimi

(20,776 posts)
122. Never
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 03:04 AM
Jul 2012

heard of it, and probably not interested in reading it.. in fact, it sounds like something I would pass on.

TheManInTheMac

(985 posts)
130. I don't know, but a few weeks ago I went into Costco
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 06:11 AM
Jul 2012

and they had three pallets of those books, one pallet for each volume, right at the entrance. Three whole pallets stacked waist high. I thought, "no freakin way they're gonna sell that many copies." Sure enough, two weeks later, the pallets were gone and the remaining stock had been moved to their regular book table.

mikeytherat

(6,829 posts)
132. Why do women watch porn all the way to the end? To see if the couple gets married.
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 06:28 AM
Jul 2012

mikey_the_rat

Response to HiPointDem (Original post)

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
148. pr at work. it is crappy writing. it has crappy reviews. it is being bought by how many to only
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 09:54 AM
Jul 2012

say it is a crappy book and couldnt get thru it. it is the same pr hype of the crappy written tattoo girl. another book of continual violence, mutilation, and degrading of women only to be held up as the greatest book ever. it is a very good example of how people are conned by pr work

http://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Shades-Grey-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B007J4T2G8/ref=zg_bs_154606011_4

redqueen

(115,186 posts)
165. I don't know anyone who read it. I know many who read reviews and excerpts
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 02:26 PM
Jul 2012

and said, 'PASS!'

 

LanternWaste

(37,748 posts)
151. I imagine there are as many different reasons as there are readers.
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 10:58 AM
Jul 2012

I imagine there are as many different reasons people read the book as there are readers... I would think that applies to most works of fiction.

But at the end of the day, I imagine many of us will pretend we have an absolute answer, an inerrant extrapolation, or the perfect inference.

abelenkpe

(9,933 posts)
152. Seems like every woman I know has read those books
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 11:04 AM
Jul 2012

The reviews I've seen though really make my stomach turn so I'll pass. I'm reading the hobbit to my kids now anyway. Way more my speed


 

4th law of robotics

(6,801 posts)
162. Socially acceptable porn for women
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 01:59 PM
Jul 2012

I guess they aren't supposed to watch porn so this is finally some version that they can acceptably talk about with their friends.

LWolf

(46,179 posts)
169. I don't know, but
Mon Jul 30, 2012, 05:06 PM
Jul 2012

I know it's not on my list of possible reads.

I read a couple of hundred books a year. When I can't find something new that's worth my time, I'll reread favorites.

The exception being the ya stuff my students read, but that's not for enlightenment or entertainment, unless it's good.

LadyHawkAZ

(6,199 posts)
179. I read it. All of it.
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 04:46 AM
Jul 2012

All three long, long, miserable volumes of it. It took three days of concentrated Discworld to quell the nausea, and I had many brain cells pack their bags and leave.

The sex isn't the problem with the books. The psychotic lead character is the problem with these books. The sex was as badly written as the rest of the books, and just wasn't exciting. The stalking and screaming tantrums and controlling behavior came through a lot more vividly than the sexytimes.

Butterbean

(1,014 posts)
258. It is absolute and utter tripe.
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 01:06 PM
Aug 2012

I read it at the behest of my swooning girlfriends. I am a wee bit (okay, a lot) OCD about books and finishing things, so once I suffered through the first book, I had to suffer through the other 2. I had no idea it was Twilight fanfic before I started reading it, either, which I should have figured out immediately, because I instantly hated Anastasia as much as I hated Bella.

The sex was okay the first time, maybe the second, however after a while, I just got tired of it and found myself scrolling past it in my Kindle. Also, that much sex with a woman who is a first timer would surely cause not only a flaming UTI, but also her labia and other parts would surely be swollen, raw, and painful, no matter how much natural lubricant was there. I have no idea how her vagina didn't fall out in protest.

LadyHawkAZ

(6,199 posts)
265. Heh, I'm like that with books myself
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 04:18 PM
Aug 2012

which is the only reason I continued on through to the end. It wasn't so bad through the second and third books; the first one acts like a shot of morphine to the brain cells.

I have never read a worse book. I have read some that were just as bad, but most of them were Harlequin.

ellie

(6,975 posts)
185. The author is making $1 million a day
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 08:41 AM
Jul 2012

Last edited Tue Jul 31, 2012, 11:04 AM - Edit history (1)

I'm trying to wrap my head around that one.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
207. I prefer convoluted thrillers where the main character has a fluid sense of identity
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 05:32 PM
Jul 2012

Don't you?



Response to HiPointDem (Original post)

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
244. Given the way the books fly out the door at Costco in our very blue area
Wed Aug 1, 2012, 03:40 PM
Aug 2012

you might be mistaken.

Anyway, the censors and prudes all seem to be gravitating towards the GOP, these days.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
247. Which is why I can be accused of many things, but not duplicity, hypocrisy or disingenuousness.
Wed Aug 1, 2012, 03:58 PM
Aug 2012

I like sex, and I fully admit it.

eilen

(4,955 posts)
213. Most of all the young nurses (and a few of the older ones) are reading it on my floor.
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 06:53 PM
Jul 2012

I have no interest in it. I think _The Story of O_ pretty much covered this stuff and was probably better written. I don't plan to read this stuff to prove to myself it sucks. I believe the horrible reviews. The success of this trilogy is not a surprise to me in a time of schlocky reality tv, and of course the most recent novels that have been very popular the last few years. Mostly they have been young adult novels which to me are pretty much dumbed down in plot, character development etc. The popularity of the Harry Potter novels (while a delightful children's serial that gradually became darker as they aged) which were a big disappointment at the end (writing/plot wise) and the characters were pretty 2 dimensional, the Twillight series, awful awful-- I hated all the principals. I couldn't for the life of me like the main character who seemed very boring and withdrawn even before she met any boring vampires. I am hesitant to read the first installment of The Hunger Games-- mostly because I prefer adult level fiction as it is more complex, nuanced and interesting. If I want to read erotica, I know where to find good erotica.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
226. George R.R. Martin knows how to write a good yarn.
Tue Jul 31, 2012, 09:29 PM
Jul 2012

And he doesn't skimp on the sex, either.

eilen

(4,955 posts)
272. I love that series of books, just finished the last one and am bummed
Sat Aug 4, 2012, 10:10 AM
Aug 2012

it will probably be another 5 years until the next.

 

TheMadMonk

(6,187 posts)
236. For the same reason they put up with high heels, waxing,...
Wed Aug 1, 2012, 02:20 AM
Aug 2012

...slather on the makeup, etc. It's fashionable.

Dirty stories for girls, from M&B bodice rippers, to graphically written, highly disturbing rape fantasies have been around for centuries. 50 shades simply owes its success to the right tweet at the right time from the right person.

Katie

(674 posts)
237. Read the Grey Trilogy and Loved it! And I'll tell you why
Wed Aug 1, 2012, 04:06 AM
Aug 2012

Loved it & so do my friends...maybe it's an age thing. Maybe if your older, I don't know, maybe it's too much ? I was never into Romance novels, but I heard so much about this book, I thought...what the heck...give it a try.

I was surprised by some of the posts here...I really don't know how you can criticize anything by reading two pages of it or by reading the reviews.

Is it a classic or a masterpiece? Hell, no. Is it very sexual? Hell, yes. But it's more.


I'm surprised at the author of the counterpunch article. No where in any of the books, is any of the sex forced on the female character Anastasia. Nor does he abuse her. It's all consensual sex. It's up to her if she wants to participate, her dilemma is whether or not she can deal with a strictly sexual extremely kinky relationship.

He is looking for a submissive, it's plain and simple. She doesn't know that at first or have any experience with that type of lifestyle, until he explains it to her. She is young (20's), she is beautiful and very attracted to the male character Christian. He warns her from the very beginning that he isn't her "type". Yet, she is drawn to him. He's described as young (20's, if he was older, it might have been gross..."dirty old man" kind of thing), extremely good looking , and a self made millionaire.

I think what held my interest, and it did my friends, is how did Christian got involved in such deviant sexual behavior, It's clear he can have any woman he wants, yet he never has or wants a girlfriend....the only use he has for women, is sex. He must remain detached at all times. And you wonder about Anastasia, can she accept that kind of relationship.

But as you read, you start to understand his character more, in fact you feel sorry for him. He describes himself at one point as a sadist. But that isn't exactly the correct term. And as you see the relationship between him and Anastasia grow, you realize he is "Fifty Shades of Fucked Up" for a reason.

There is a very soft loving side to him, one he can't bear to show. He begins to talk about his background, and little by little, you see what he went through as a child, and a young adult, and you wonder how he ever survived. Basically he is a very tormented individual, but she begins to break down the walls, and he begins to see her more as a person than an object, and a loving relationship develops between them. Perhaps that's what so many women love about the book.

I guess the best way to describe some of the sex is what they call "Kinky Fuckery" and it's something they both enjoy. And quite frankly I don't see what's so terrible about it. It sure wasn't boring, no one gets seriously hurt, and it can be stopped at anytime, and some of it, is a lot of fun. Tried out a few of the things with my husband and we both loved it.

The reason I read all three, is I was interested in seeing whether or not their relationship would continue. Whether he would grow as a person and continue a loving relationship or not.

So,I was surprised by some of the posts I saw here tonight...maybe because I'm a New Yorker, and there are so many of us, I run into women constantly who just loved the book, and there is an awful lot of them and they can't stop talking about it. In fact the hardware store down the block sold out of a cable. Glad we got ours before it did. LOL!

As far as Women and what they like...it's every woman for herself I guess. What you like you like, what you don't..its fine. I've never seen Men questioned about why they like Playboy. Both sexes enjoy fantasy, I think. As far as women liking porn, I'm sure some do. As for porn movies, that can be a turn off for some women because they are always wondering if the actresses are being forced, because sometimes there is a lot of violence or maybe if they are doing it because they need drugs or money. Books...you don't have to worry....no gets hurt in real time.


Anyways, it's meant to be enjoyable reading more than anything else, it's not going to win a Pulitzer Prize for Literature, but it's going to make a ton of money, because so many people enjoy it. It doesn't advocate abuse. Just have fun with it, it's not meant to be serious.










LynneSin

(95,337 posts)
239. As someone who has read all 3 books - I'll explain *** warning spoilers ***
Wed Aug 1, 2012, 10:21 AM
Aug 2012

First, if you read all 3 of the books you'll find that they did get married and have kids.

Second, he never forced the relationship on her. This isn't a woman in an abusive relationship, she was given a choice of that lifestyle and she found that she did like the spanking and some of the rough sex but she said 'No' to anything with cans or cats.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with rough sex if both parties are consensual in it. BDSM is a lifestyle choice and she choose NOT to be a submissive but ultimately did agree that she enjoyed some of the rough play and consented to it. And at all time she had the power to stop it if she felt it was too much, something she failed to do in the first book but did several times in the 2nd and 3rd book. And when she did say stop - he stopped.

Thing is this - in the end he changes for her and went all hearts & flowers and ended up giving her the romance and great sex. I think that is why women appeal to the book because for many women we want to have it all - rich opulent lifestyle with gorgeous husband and fun sex life.

Personally I found the books to be poorly written - it was like erotica written at a 7th grade level. And it was annoying that it seemed like EVERYDAY something really huge happened whether she had a gun pulled on her by one of his ex-subs, she was sexually harassed by her boss or he was in a helicopter crash. I mean the books, outside the epilogue in the 3rd one) basically happen over a 4-5 month period and well that was pretty unbelievable.

I read the first one because I wanted to see what all the hubub was about. I read the second & third ones because no one wrote the plot summaries on Wiki and I wanted to find out what happened. Had someone created Wiki pages for those 2 books I suspect I wouldn't have bought the last 2. Kinda wish I stopped with the first book because I'm not a big 'hearts & romance' type person myself and that's what it all turned out to be.

but I will remind you again EVERYTHING THE GIRL DID IN THE BOOK WAS HER CHOICE.

 

4th law of robotics

(6,801 posts)
249. " in the end he changes for her"
Wed Aug 1, 2012, 06:08 PM
Aug 2012

You see that a lot in relationship stories aimed at women. Not so much the other way around.

Men seem to be (generalizing) happy with the way things are. Women with the way things will be.

Could explain differences in stress, depression, mental health, etc.

Katie

(674 posts)
254. I don't believe that was the case in this Trilogy
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 02:29 AM
Aug 2012

The Character of Christian had major problems, even if he didn't change for her, he needed to change for himself. He was not a happy man. He had so many demons from the childhood abuse that he suffered. And later an affair with an older woman who got him into BDSM, when he was a teenager. He didn't know how to give or get love, yet there was a soft side to him underneath it all. He refers to himself as "Fifty Shades of Fucked Up". And was he ever.
It was good to see him change into a man at peace with himself and finally have a loving relationship.

 

4th law of robotics

(6,801 posts)
266. Of course, that's part of the fantasy
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 04:54 PM
Aug 2012

she isn't just changing him for fun. He needed her to "fix" him.

Katie

(674 posts)
253. Thank you so much LynneSin!
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 02:14 AM
Aug 2012

For the life of me I couldn't understand what the author of that article on counterpunch was talking about. Sounded to me like she didn't even read the book.

Everything Anastasia did, she did willingly. Anything she didn't want to do, she didn't. It was that simple. He never beat her because he was angry or she wouldn't comply. He never hit her if he was in a bad mood either. Thank you for setting that straight!

I'll agree with you, this was neither a classic or a masterpiece...it was just plain fun. I love the movie "To Kill a Mockingbird" but I can also laugh my ass off at "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy" LOL!

Agree also..... What's wrong with having great sex with your husband? What's not to like about that? It's so much fun to experiment. And I'm sure husbands feel the same way about their wives...otherwise....what's the point of even getting married?

I think the author did stretch a bit in the 2nd and 3rd book, but maybe because I am a romantic, I was glad they got married and had children. I was also happy for him, because he was really a tormented soul, all that abuse by his crack addict mom and her pimp, and later the older woman who got him into BDSM. Finally he seemed at peace, able to enjoy his wife, his children & his life.

I understand the 4th book will be written from his point of view. Should be interesting.

Thanks again!

SomethingFishy

(4,876 posts)
250. She just passed J.K. Rowling as the biggest selling author in Amazon history..
Wed Aug 1, 2012, 06:27 PM
Aug 2012

But judging from this thread that must be wrong because the books are so horrible no one is actually reading them...



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