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WhiskeyGrinder

(22,308 posts)
Thu Mar 29, 2018, 11:48 AM Mar 2018

How my restaurant successfully dealt with harassment from customers

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/how-my-restaurant-successfully-dealt-with-harassment-from-customers/2018/03/29/3d9d00b8-221a-11e8-badd-7c9f29a55815_story.html



Erin Wade is a chef, restaurateur and co-author of “The Mac + Cheese Cookbook.”

We decided on a color-coded system in which different types of customer behavior are categorized as yellow, orange or red. Yellow refers to a creepy vibe or unsavory look. Orange means comments with sexual undertones, like certain compliments on a worker’s appearance. Red signals overtly sexual comments or touching, or repeated incidents in the orange category after being told the comments were unwelcome.

When a staff member has a harassment problem, they report the color — “I have an orange at table five” — and the manager is required to take a specific action. If red is reported, the customer is ejected from the restaurant. Orange means the manager takes over the table. With a yellow, the manager must take over the table if the staff member chooses. In all cases, the manager’s response is automatic, no questions asked. (At the time of our meeting, all our shift managers were men, though their supervisors were women; something else we’ve achieved since then is diversifying each layer of management.)

In the years since implementation, customer harassment has ceased to be a problem. Reds are nearly nonexistent, as most sketchy customers seem to be derailed at a yellow or orange. We found that most customers test the waters before escalating and that women have a canny sixth sense for unwanted attention. When reds do occur, our employees are empowered to act decisively.

The color system is elegant because it prevents women from having to relive damaging stories and relieves managers of having to make difficult judgment calls about situations that might not seem threatening based on their own experiences. The system acknowledges the differences in the ways that men and women experience the world, while creating a safe workplace.
45 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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How my restaurant successfully dealt with harassment from customers (Original Post) WhiskeyGrinder Mar 2018 OP
Good system. Wonder if its effectiveness would work in other industries? brush Mar 2018 #1
I'm guessing the success of this program is based on two things: WhiskeyGrinder Mar 2018 #7
It is the automatic response that does it. LiberalBrooke Mar 2018 #29
That's very cool! forgotmylogin Mar 2018 #23
What a great idea. Perhaps more restaurants should try it. n/t CaliforniaPeggy Mar 2018 #2
They should use that system at the White House. DemocratSinceBirth Mar 2018 #3
he's a cowardly spray-tanner with ties to russia. so, he's got all the colors covered. unblock Mar 2018 #4
+1 Arkansas Granny Mar 2018 #6
+2! n/t raven mad Mar 2018 #14
Genius. BobTheSubgenius Mar 2018 #30
I call RED on the WH. I hope our manager, Mr. Mueller shows them out. FSogol Mar 2018 #10
The place would be empty Neema Mar 2018 #22
K&R ismnotwasm Mar 2018 #5
Excellent system zipplewrath Mar 2018 #8
When my younger son worked at a movie chain PoindexterOglethorpe Mar 2018 #12
Common with strippers zipplewrath Mar 2018 #18
That makes sense. PoindexterOglethorpe Mar 2018 #19
Like "Stormy" for example. TeamPooka Mar 2018 #33
Sorta zipplewrath Mar 2018 #41
What a great idea! PatSeg Mar 2018 #9
Sounds great for a big restaurant askyagerz Mar 2018 #11
Curious how the "red" is "ejected." question everything Mar 2018 #13
Have you never seen someone ejected from a restaurant? WhiskeyGrinder Mar 2018 #15
No. What have I missed? question everything Mar 2018 #16
Not much. The managers asks the person to leave, they cause a scene or don't, and life WhiskeyGrinder Mar 2018 #21
For the majority of peopke it is very humiliating and they skulk out. TeamPooka Mar 2018 #34
Do they have to pay for what they've consumed first ? OnDoutside Mar 2018 #40
Never. But I've never personally witnessed misbehavior. I'm curious how they are ejected. rainin Mar 2018 #17
They are asked to leave without causing a scene tazkcmo Mar 2018 #20
we keep police dispatch # handy; multiple employees ask them to leave, if they don't we call cops. TheFrenchRazor Mar 2018 #28
wonderful..something all restaurants should adopt Demovictory9 Mar 2018 #24
I wonder if the managers are all male? FakeNoose Mar 2018 #25
The article said that at the time, the managers were male, which it saw as a problem. WhiskeyGrinder Mar 2018 #26
actually it said the shift managers were male but their supervisors were all women. TeamPooka Mar 2018 #35
I'm not clear on why it would be a problem for female managers to handle abusive customers. yardwork Mar 2018 #27
Switching genders zipplewrath Mar 2018 #42
If a manager is empowered to act against the abuse, that's what matters. yardwork Mar 2018 #43
Yahbut zipplewrath Mar 2018 #44
Exactly. yardwork Mar 2018 #45
Sounds like a great system. n/t MicaelS Mar 2018 #31
Awesome shenmue Mar 2018 #32
"acknowledges the differences... Beartracks Mar 2018 #36
K&R burrowowl Mar 2018 #37
Brilliant system Kentonio Mar 2018 #38
A local restaurant here in Charlottesville has a similar system for dealing with harassment of Nitram Mar 2018 #39

WhiskeyGrinder

(22,308 posts)
7. I'm guessing the success of this program is based on two things:
Thu Mar 29, 2018, 12:29 PM
Mar 2018

* A rating system that takes away the inclination to explain away behavior and replaces it with a sentiment/judgment. People don't get hung up in explaining, justifying, weighing or debating.

* "In all cases, the manager’s response is automatic, no questions asked."

forgotmylogin

(7,520 posts)
23. That's very cool!
Thu Mar 29, 2018, 05:38 PM
Mar 2018

When I was a waiter, we had a code. If you saw "TT-16" on the board in the kitchen, it meant "tag team table 16"...the customer or the table is being in some way abusive or rude, the original server assigned ditches, and the table never sees the same server twice for the rest of the night as we bugged the absolute shit out of them being over-polite way too often.

It wasn't just for sexual harassment, but it worked for that too - one stupid guy ordered a dessert with lurid innuendo that his young female server needed to feed it to him and he would share it with her. The dessert was hand delivered by our burliest male waiter along with an extra spoon in case he still wanted to "share".

Neema

(1,151 posts)
22. The place would be empty
Thu Mar 29, 2018, 03:16 PM
Mar 2018

Which I daresay would probably be an improvement over what's currently going on.

zipplewrath

(16,646 posts)
8. Excellent system
Thu Mar 29, 2018, 12:40 PM
Mar 2018

Won't work in other places, but any place with retail customers, it sounds excellent. The best part is how quick and decisive it is. Talk about "empowering" your employees.

A friend of mine in high school worked in retail in a mall. It was my first exposure to the abuse some women have to endure on the job. They were required to wear name tags, and she and her coworkers requested that they be allowed to use fake names. Too many guys could use the real names to stalk them and cause trouble. So when they got a call at the store for their fake name, they knew it wasn't a friend or family member. When someone "stopped by" and asked for them, the coworker could just say "they're busy, can I help you?".

PoindexterOglethorpe

(25,816 posts)
12. When my younger son worked at a movie chain
Thu Mar 29, 2018, 01:39 PM
Mar 2018

the employees routinely had name tags with fake names. I have no idea if it had anything to do with harassment, but I found it amusing. It did seem strange however that a couple of newer co-workers didn't actually know his real name.

Anyway, either the system described in the OP or what you've mentioned could be quite effective in a lot of workplaces. It might not be possible in an office or factory situation, but someone a lot smarter than me who understands HR could probably figure out a variation that would work.

zipplewrath

(16,646 posts)
18. Common with strippers
Thu Mar 29, 2018, 02:37 PM
Mar 2018

Old acquaintance of my did "exotic dancing" for a while. Almost none of the strippers use their real names. And I don't mean silly suggestive things. Frequently they just use a "professional" name. Avoids alot of problems all around.

PoindexterOglethorpe

(25,816 posts)
19. That makes sense.
Thu Mar 29, 2018, 02:46 PM
Mar 2018

I've never been a stripper but I would not use Poindexter Oglethorpe if I took up that career.

At the movie theater they kids used regular names, like Eric, Steve -- I think my son was Steve. I was somewhat under the impression they did it to mess with management. The on site manager new and didn't care, but periodically upper management would drop by.

zipplewrath

(16,646 posts)
41. Sorta
Fri Mar 30, 2018, 08:34 AM
Mar 2018

Some try to not be obvious that it's fake. This woman said that spice names were popular. (Heather, Ginger, Rosemary...)

askyagerz

(776 posts)
11. Sounds great for a big restaurant
Thu Mar 29, 2018, 01:18 PM
Mar 2018

But wouldnt work in most small towns. My ex was a waitress for many years. She got it everyday. Only a cook or two and one or two waitresses a shift. Sometimes during slow hours she would be the only person there.

Same assholes everyday. I eventually had to go threaten a few them. A 20 something kid and having to go tell a bunch of old men to be gentlemen.

I will never understand these guys that think they are gods gift to women...

question everything

(47,437 posts)
13. Curious how the "red" is "ejected."
Thu Mar 29, 2018, 01:52 PM
Mar 2018

The manager just comes in and asks him to leave? What if he refuses? Creates a scene? Comes later with pals?

I suspect that the "red" is an obnoxious individual by nature..



TeamPooka

(24,209 posts)
34. For the majority of peopke it is very humiliating and they skulk out.
Thu Mar 29, 2018, 11:23 PM
Mar 2018

they are embarrassed to anyone they are with.
Every now and then someone makes a stink (back when I was a young waiter/bartender) and I'd just say "You can leave nicely or the police can make it harder on you."
Then you would just have to pick up the phone.
No one ever waited for the cops to arrive.
They'd be gone before I finished dialing.

tazkcmo

(7,300 posts)
20. They are asked to leave without causing a scene
Thu Mar 29, 2018, 02:53 PM
Mar 2018

And told why and done in a professional and calm manner. I've had to do this a quite a few times for various reasons, not all being crew harassment issues. Most go quietly and those that don't I give them the option of letting the police handle or the ownership if they were there and then they'd call the cops.

One of my favorites was when a table of 4 kept returning their steaks. After 3 attempts at meeting their needs, our owner told them to leave as he suspected they were fishing for free meals as happens especially at large chains like Applebee's and such. Anyway, they said they weren't leaving, wanted their meal and expected it to be free. They threatened to sue due to discrimination against African Americans. That was funny because of the 300 or so people eating at that time, 90% were AA and having a great time. Our owner responding by saying, "Look around you. Go ahead and sue. I have 6 lawyers, a line out the door and a faithful clientele most of who are AA. So go now or wait quietly for the police to remove you like a common criminal in front of all these nice people enjoying themselves right now.". They left, talked a little shit on the way but they left and the rest applauded our owner and thanked him for removing them.

 

TheFrenchRazor

(2,116 posts)
28. we keep police dispatch # handy; multiple employees ask them to leave, if they don't we call cops.
Thu Mar 29, 2018, 08:01 PM
Mar 2018

FakeNoose

(32,594 posts)
25. I wonder if the managers are all male?
Thu Mar 29, 2018, 07:23 PM
Mar 2018

How would a female manager handle the orange or red customers? Either they need special training for their managers, or they're only hiring male managers because of this program.

It's actually a workable system, but larger restaurants especially franchise restaurants have many more women as managers.

Just sayin'

WhiskeyGrinder

(22,308 posts)
26. The article said that at the time, the managers were male, which it saw as a problem.
Thu Mar 29, 2018, 07:31 PM
Mar 2018

But women managers can certainly be the ones to ask customers to leave. Why wouldn't they?

TeamPooka

(24,209 posts)
35. actually it said the shift managers were male but their supervisors were all women.
Thu Mar 29, 2018, 11:25 PM
Mar 2018

and that they have diversified the levels since then.

yardwork

(61,539 posts)
27. I'm not clear on why it would be a problem for female managers to handle abusive customers.
Thu Mar 29, 2018, 07:46 PM
Mar 2018

Why wouldn't they be able to handle the situation, since they are empowered by the owners to act?

zipplewrath

(16,646 posts)
42. Switching genders
Fri Mar 30, 2018, 08:41 AM
Mar 2018

My presumption on this was that there was an advantage of switching genders of servers. i.e. when the server was female, the male supervisor takes over so that we're not just putting one female in place of another to be harassed.

yardwork

(61,539 posts)
43. If a manager is empowered to act against the abuse, that's what matters.
Fri Mar 30, 2018, 08:56 AM
Mar 2018

Power is the difference. Servers are "servers" - they are vulnerable to abuse because their role is to serve customers. A manager of any sex can solve the problem by asking an abusive customer to leave. The server doesn't have that power.

Male servers are vulnerable to abuse as well. Any server is vulnerable.

zipplewrath

(16,646 posts)
44. Yahbut
Fri Mar 30, 2018, 09:34 AM
Mar 2018

Their system had three levels. Level two involve replacement to try to diffuse the situation before it became level 3. (Actually, at the server's request, they could be replaced at level 1 as well). One thing they mentioned was that since they had started the system, they didn't get to level 3 anymore because these situations tend to build and by intervening early, it stopped the problem before it got out of hand.

Beartracks

(12,799 posts)
36. "acknowledges the differences...
Fri Mar 30, 2018, 01:12 AM
Mar 2018

... in the ways that men and women experience the world"

Very cool.

========

Nitram

(22,768 posts)
39. A local restaurant here in Charlottesville has a similar system for dealing with harassment of
Fri Mar 30, 2018, 08:23 AM
Mar 2018

people of color. It has also been very effective.

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