I need a group hug.

[phylny]

I’m at my Dad’s. He’s 90 and a staunch Republican. I can’t even tell you about our conversation today because I’d be slapped down for spouting Republican talking points. HIS talking points. Everything you’ve heard, on steroids. When I asked him if it’d be okay for any political party to have received help from a foreign government, it took him wading through five tries to say it wouldn’t be okay. Other things he’d “never heard about that.” All I can say is he’s moved on from Fox to a station called “One America News.”

I just can’t. I’ve left the basement where the tv is and am up I’m the living room.

So sad.

[Eko]

1. Hug!!!

OAN is fox on conservative steroids, at this point ya might want to think if arguing with him is worth it. Maybe just steer the conversation to something else.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. I am so sorry, my dear phylny.......

When you can't talk to your own father, it's terrible.

A hug for you from me:

[raging moderate]

3. We are all sending you hugs.

[Kirk Lover]

4. Can you agree to not talk about it? I can't talk politics with my sister because it always

devolves. Sometimes we do it anyway and it never turns out well. So last time we went away when one of us brought something up the other tried to remind the other and we kept it to only a few blowouts...progress I tell ya.

[phylny]

28. Yes, he came up to get coffee and tell me he was

going to watch Perry Mason. I’m heading back down. We have actually had a good time for 99% of my visit to N.Y. I just hate knowing he’s been so duped. Thanks,

[Rorey]

5. In this case.....

I'd say just let it be. He's 90 and he's going to be the way he's going to be.

A few years ago I took my elderly aunts for one last visit to see another aunt. One was a staunch Republican. We started discussing politics. It got pretty animated. Then I got hold of myself, realizing that I wasn't going to feel very good if our argument caused this aunt to have a health event.

I try to be careful about who I choose to have my battles with these days.

[no_hypocrisy]

6. My father died four years ago tomorrow at age 92. I know EXACTLY what you're going through.

FOX News at Decibel Level 10. You could hear it upstairs with closed doors in a 14-room house.
Go out for a meal. Dad would rebroadcast the latest quote from Bill O'R, Newt, etc. Several times. Delightedly.
FOX News was an old man's version of the Circus Come To Town.

FWIW, I held my tongue, didn't protest, didn't harangue as I didn't want to be left out of the Will. Well, the joke was on me: Dad disinherited me anyway (estate was worth more than 1.5 million) and left $35,000 to the neighbor across the street.

[Sampan]

13. Dear no hypocrisy. Thats an awful story. Here is a big hug!

[no_hypocrisy]

16. Thanks. Dad's ashes are in my sister's closet.

Because if Dad were here with me, he'd be on the carpet and I'd have the vacuum on . . . . . .

[flying_wahini]

42. God that's awful. So sorry for his stinging rebuke.

You just have to remember tha5 he was brainwashed. Complete and utter brainwashing.

[no_hypocrisy]

48. No, Dad was pretty much like that for decades.

It really was hell when I was a teen in the Seventies. He screamed at me for having the sheet music for American Pie and he threw it out. (Yeah, I didn't like that, but I fished it out and still have it.) Dad was afraid that I'd run away (wonder why?) and return pregnant with a multiracial bastard baby. I could go on and on. You couldn't last with him for an afternoon.

[democrank]

7. Sending a hug

Take good care of yourself.

[Eko]

8. My Dad was a conservative.

Near the end he would talk about stupid things like liberals were trying to take his guns, I would tell him that I was a liberal and I am coming to take your guns like I was talking to a little kid and tickle the mess out of him. He both hated and loved that and I would give anything I could to have that again.

[Different Drummer]

9. ...

[bluestarone]

10. HUGS to ya

It's really hard when family CANNOT SEE THE LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! Hang in there!! LOTS of friends here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Maraya1969]

11. Yes

I know what you are going through.

[Heartstrings]

12. Sad....

[FairDemocrat]

14. I will take a hug

I have to start working at the Indiana juvenile prison on Monday as maintenance supervisor

[Rhiannon12866]

19. That sounds very stressful, you have a lot of courage

And you definitely deserve more than one hug!

[phylny]

26. Hug right back at ya! nt

[irisblue]

35. Welcome to DU

Best wishes on the new job.

[Sampan]

15. So sorry. Have a big hug

[FairDemocrat]

17. My father voted for Obama twice and he is white and 90 years old and living

My fathers dad help to start the UAW and General Motors sent thugs down from Detroit to have him killed..The people that worked at the factory would only get 3-4 hours of work each day, and no one could even afford to own a car, they all walked to work...They just wanted a 40 hour work week..

[grantcart]

60. Welcome to DU

[smirkymonkey]

18. So sorry, believe me, I know how it feels.

[Ohiogal]

20. Here's your hug.

Believe me, I had close relatives too who spouted this nonsense. It tough. You're not alone. Vent to us any time you like.

[raven mad]

21. You got it!

[trof]

22. Here ya go

[mcar]

23. ...

[Tarc]

24. I once had a conservative relative ask for posters of various rap artists for his b-day

So he could use them out in the backyard gun range for target practice.

Having relatives like this sucks, I feel your pain.

[ConnorMarc]

63. Is it racism?

I know what I think, but I'm interested to hear your take.

How many in your family are this way?

[Tarc]

70. Yes, it was racism

They consider almost all non-whites to be less than civilized.

There's 2 in the immediate family. One is pushing 90 but mentally checked out years ago, so, least that voice is silent now. That may sound harsh, but after having my sexuality questioned for ~40 years (male with long hair) on top of the racism, not many tears are being shed.

[highplainsdem]

25. Sympathies, and hugs. I have some relatives like that.

[Ilsa]

27. Other family of mine has gone trumping,

and racist lately, saying the most awful and hateful things because trump set that example.

Hang in there.

[ConnorMarc]

64. Are you suggesting they suddenly snapped and changed?

Or were they always this way before?

Also, what part of the country are you in?

[Ilsa]

72. It's been gradual, but there is no shame, now.

My family is scattered around the US, but this person is in NE TX.

[phylny]

29. Thanks to all for caring! nt

[RKP5637]

30. ...

[Cha]

31. Here ya go, phylny

[Hekate]

32. Hugs. Love him as the father who raised you and helped you become the person you are...

Agree to not talk politics if you can.

[phylny]

33. Thanks so much, nt

[irisblue]

34. On it

HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUGHUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG

[roamer65]

36. Just sit back and watch.

You will be vindicated.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

37. I cannot imagine what you're going through.

My parents are long gone, and I'm pretty sure neither one of them would have fallen for the Fox garbage.

[CaptainTruth]

38. So sorry...

Hugs!

[kairos12]

39. Here you go!

Faux news has broken up more families than alcohol.

[secondwind]

40. Try to find commonality with your dad. He is 90 years old. Talk about the good old days, etc

Politics should be put aside. He wants you to accept him the way he is.

[phylny]

44. Great advice. Thank you! nt

[dameatball]

41. This is just my take, but.......

There is no way he is going to change. Just be yourself, if he asks. It is not your job to change him at this point. Sounds like you live in close proximity (same home?), so maybe meeting some like minded friends once or twice a week for coffee or a glass of wine or even a walk, would help. But....what do I know??? Anyway, hugs and good luck

[phylny]

43. Thanks for your kindness.

No, we live 8+ hours apart. We talk during the week and I come north we’ve real times a year. I think my heart just breaks to see him so brainwashed.

[dameatball]

45. Sadly, it is his right to be wrong. The best thing you can do is love him and be your own person

[Honeycombe8]

46. My father is a Trumper, too. I feel your pain.

I refuse to talk politics with him. He tries to bait me sometimes, though. They can't be reasoned with. They get ALL their news through snippets on Fox or some such source. For my father, it's Fox News. Hopeless.

You can't talk to them about reality or facts. They are living in an alternate world.

[ConnorMarc]

65. How did your dad, and others like him, get this way?

Always the case, or a slow conversion?

Would you say that your dad is racist?

What part of the country is this?

[ashling]

47. My mother in law is the same way.I won't even get anywhere near my father in law

She is 89 and in an assistive care facility. M father in law is also 89 and is in he ground for all I care.
the last time I talked to him on the trip home I felt like going p to every Black person I saw and apologizing and begging their forgiveness for even being related to him.

[erronis]

49. I'll speak for my partner's father - WW-II vet, faux watcher, staunchly anti-repuglican

He was a great man who served in the second War-To-End-All-Wars (hah!) who came back from parachuting into France, crossing the Rhine and down to Italy/Austria. He was not a fan of military wars.

He had voted Republican (note that I spell this as Lincoln might have), until Vietnam and he started to waver. With the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq he became fervently anti-repuglican. He would have cast the pResident as a scoundrel and criminal

However he still liked the fux news. He'd have it on whenever we came to visit but he'd also rail against the nonsense that was spewed. Fux apparently understands how to grab the eyeballs of older people.

There's a lot of complexity in all of our likes and dislikes. We're not easily separated into Yes/No.

[ConnorMarc]

67. What does HE say he likes the entity called FOX NEWS?

What part of the country is this?

[erronis]

69. Sadly he is no longer around to answer questions. He was in NY.

[Blue_true]

50. Squeeze.

[yewberry]

51. It makes sense that you're frustrated.

Do your best to keep away from the subject. Do you have other family that you can make the subject of conversations instead of politics?

My ex-POW Grampa and my dad were both stone-cold liberals, and I thank the stars every day that they didn't live to see this.

[BobTheSubgenius]

52. I'm sorry to hear it, phyl.

[phylny]

53. I cant respond to everyone individually, but read

and absorbed and felt all of your warm and thoughtful comments. People might complain about this site, but I won’t. Heartfelt and loving thanks to my fellow DUers.

[gademocrat7]

54. Sorry phylny

Sending you hugs.

[tavernier]

55. Youre a good son.

[phylny]

57. Daughter

😀 Thanks

[tavernier]

58. Ok. I had the same response years ago.

Sorry!

[phylny]

59. Its quite okay.

Phyl short for Phyllis. My Grandma Madeline used to call me Phyl and it stuck.

Now I have her hair color 😂

[SummerSnow]

56. One America News makes Fox news look like an angel

It is praise Trump all day long. The brainwashing is strong there.

[sprinkleeninow]

61. Incoming!

A and a 💛.

[uponit7771]

62. K&R

[Aristus]

66. ...

[coeur_de_lion]

68. So many of us are dealing with right wing family members

It's beyond heart breaking. Someone here on DU called it a Cold War -- a cold Civil War.

I can't talk to half of my family. Once in a while I look at my brother in law's Facebook page. I've seen posts that describe Obama as a Muslim terrorist, pro NRA cartoons, and videos claiming trump has done more for the Black community than Obama ever did.

That's just the stuff he says publicly. Privately it's so much worse.

I feel your pain. Maybe we should form a support group. They formed Al-Anon for families of alcoholics. Can't we have the same for Fox News-aholics?

Anyway here's a hug from me.

[Adrahil]

71. My in-laws watch that channel- fucking nuts.