An important lesson from the Royal Wedding

[EffieBlack]

Those of you who regularly interact with black folk, follow Black Twitter, read the Root, etc. probably know this already, but for those of you who don't, I'm telling you that black folk have lost their damned minds over the Royal Wedding. I mean completely spinning out of control ... in a good way.

And there's a reason for it. As I've noted elsewhere, black folk so often - almost always - are made to feel that we don't REALLY belong. Usually, when the country is going Gaga over something, it doesn't include us or there is something about it that makes us cringe a little because our memory or experience with it isn't always pleasant and is often painful - which might not be so bad if that unpleasantness or pain were recognized, but it rarely is.

So the Fourth of July is a big deal to some people, but it doesn't make us feel all tingly and patriotic (but the barbecue part is cool). Columbus Day, meh. It's kind of like being a 13-year-old girl going to see Gone With the Wind with her girlfriends and spending the first half mooning over Rhett Butler only to realize that the "political meeting" he extricates Ashley from is a Klan meeting to plan a lynching of a black man and immediately feeling completely separated from her friends who still got to love the movie because it didn't weigh down their baggage

Royal weddings and similar events (President Obama's inaugurations being major and notable exceptions) have always been like that - they didn't affect us, didn't include us, didn't look like us. We WANTED to be a part of it. But even if we were welcome to watch it, we were never made to feel a part of it. But if we said so, we got blamed for ruining all the fun. So we just grinned and bore it - but didn't feel it and had a kind of sick sense throughout - or just stayed away from it altogether, promoting criticisms for being "divisive."

But then came Meghan, our beautiful black American princess and her dashing and very woke prince. They didn't just have a wedding. They threw a party and made sure we were all invited. And not in a "you're certainly welcome to come, but don't be all black about it because race has nothing to do with it."

Unh-unh. They made sure that race had everything to do with it because they had centuries of crap to make up for and saw this as a perfect place to start. They also knew how important it was that Meghan not just be welcomed into the "Firm," and expected to just assimilate and fade in to fit in. They embraced her into the fold but let her bring her black with her. And then they made sure the world knew that they were cool with it.

And black folk saw and felt that and we knew that when Meghan stepped in to that space, with her dredlocced, nose studded mother by her side and her black flag waving high and proud, that she not only represented us but we were representing her - which meant, we were REALLY a part of this, just like the white folks.

And we are totally representing. We even have a #RoyalWeddingSoBlack hashtag. When you move into the honorific "YouSoBlack" category, you have made it. (You should check it out - it's a straight up hoot. My favorite: #RoyalWeddingSoBlack, one of the carriage horses was named Tyrone." )

This is an important lesson. Black folk are often seen by some whites as not wanting to participate, always messing everything up by saying we don't feel included. We were invited, so why not just appreciate it and get with the program already?

But Meghan and Harry showed you that it takes more than just opening the door and whispering, "You can come in." When people have been excluded and marginalized and ostracized and always made to feel "otherized," it's important to take extra steps to make sure inclusion really means inclusion, not just immersion and assimilation. It's important to recognize and respect that we bring our own culture and history and traditions and perspectives and want those respected and preserved, not swallowed up or papered over.

And when it's done right and we feel as if we are truly a part of it because we are, we will meet you more than halfway. We'll be all up in the place, as enthusiastic members of the team, cheering everyone on because everyone is us, too.

[CatWoman]

1. you know what I found so "telling" about this whole affair?

the Caucasian branch of her family acted like pure trash. They embodied all the traits that are always cast upon us, while the black side of her family showed pure grace.

I think it even took the Queen off guard.

[EffieBlack]

2. Interesting that ...

She's going to decree that from now on, only black people can marry in to the family.

[CatWoman]

3. I wasn't aware of the depths of their depraved behavior until my cousin brought it to my attention

[EffieBlack]

4. I wasn't either

I just knew about the dad.

I have a feeling Meghan was like "Don't come. No. I'm serious. Don't come. I don't care how you explain it. Say you had a heart attack or something. I don't care. Stay your ass away from here."

[CakeGrrl]

14. The half-sibs might be insane

The half-brother Thomas Markle Jr. allegedly wrote a letter to Harry trashing Meghan, saying she'd destroy the royal family, he was making a mistake and needed to call the wedding off because she was a phony actress who was only out to be the next Diana, but would never have Diana's class.

Then a week or so ago, he apparently wrote and released another letter basically trying to walk all that back and hoping for an invite to the wedding. INSANE. And he has domestic violence in his history.

Someone called it the "crab bucket" effect, where a crab will almost escape a bucket but will be pulled back down by another crab. In other words, the sibs may not want their father's child with a different woman to have any success, especially if it's not shared with them.

He has stiff competition from his sister Samantha Grant, who passively-aggressively has guilted Meghan for not taking care of their father financially. She's held interviews with any outlet that would have her, trying to push a book she actually wanted to title "The Diary of Princess Pushy's Sister."

She is afflicted with M.S. and is wheelchair bound, and had the nerve to show up on a biography of Meghan admonishing her by saying 'I don't think Diana would have abandoned a sister in a wheelchair.' Just before the wedding, she took back her surname "Markle" and dyed her hair dark brunette. Good Lord.

Shortly after the engagement announcement, she jumped on Harry for saying that his family was the family he supposed Meghan never had. He was right, and I'd bet he and Meghan talked about their mutual family issues.

It's ironic that Meghan gets so much racist hate for her black mother, but the bad, trashy behavior is coming from her white half-siblings.

[JI7]

15. and these half siblings are fucking middle aged. wayy too old to be behaving the way they are

it would be bad even if they were young but at least you can hope they will change for the better.

here is the half brother :

[Hekate]

22. wtf

[greatauntoftriplets]

55. Is that a mug shot?

[bluescribbler]

69. Ain't he a beauty?

Don't blame her for not inviting him.

[Auntie Bush]

71. All that is missing is the height measurement markings in the background.

Looks like his mug shot. Her siblings are soooo jealous!... because she’s from the black half of the family. Heaven forbid... the black side is doing so much better than the white side. How dare she

[Hekate]

21. Jesus

[lapucelle]

25. I wonder if one or both of the half siblings

would have shouted out something at the "speak now or forever hold your peace moment".

[BobTheSubgenius]

50. I had the same sense of it, although not as extreme.

I'm sure that's because I wasn't really following the story. At all. I only knew the date of the wedding because it had already been and gone in this time zone.

I have a great deal more admiration for the Royals now, I'll tell you.

[Demsrule86]

62. I did not know that...thanks or the info...poor girl. Of course he Mom raised her and from what I

can tell she never had much to do with her Dad's side.

[Eliot Rosewater]

54. I am curious, is there a link about this I can view?

[FakeNoose]

73. This is from the Daily Beast

https://www.thedailybeast.com/meghan-markles-embarrassing-family

It's sort of gossip-y, but I guess it's what you'd expect. Somewhere I read that her cousin in Oregon is a legal marijuana grower and he named a new blend after her - Markle's Sparkles. If the royal couple ever come to visit him he plans to give them some of his "crop."

I kind of feel bad for Meghan having to go through all this crap about her family. But I also think she got over them a long time ago.

[Joe Chi Minh]

89. I don't believe I've ever seen a figure in public liife, who

looked so psychologically strong, as Meghan. I think the royal family were impressed by that, too, and have really taken to her, welcoming her as a likely strong asset to 'the firm', into the bargain.

I have long believed our royal family, Elizabeth, Mad Phil (as I call him), and subject to the imperfection of all families, the children and grandchildren are as nice a famliy as you could wish to meet.

Charles, despite his disastrous marriage - save for those boys, of which he and Diana must both be proud - Charles has always given me the impression of having a very big heart, like his parents. My other favouriite would be Anne, who always showed up our malicious press for the scoundrels they are, just quietly getting on with her public duties. Edward also seems a decent soul, and perhaps Andrew is, but he strikes me as a 'divine right of kings' type ; very much one to stand on his dignity. Still, it takes all types.

[JI7]

6. the Queen has experience with all the Crap that happened with FErgie and Andrew. Remember that

sarah Ferguson was not allowed to attend the William and Kate Wedding because of something she had done then .

[EffieBlack]

8. Interesting that she was at this one.

[JI7]

11. while she was invited to the wedding itself i did read that

she was not invited to many of the other gatherings before and after .

[pnwmom]

9. That's for sure. They were a disgrace, while her mother was perfectly lovely,

just like she is.

[FM123]

79. Yes, her mother was perfectly lovely and just as regal as the royals she stood next to.

[MBS]

49. In turns of behavior during the service itself, I'd add to your comment.

The response of many (not all) members of the Royal Family to Bishop Curry's sermon was, shall we say, less than noble (Fergie's uncouth daughters, no surprise: but Camilla and Kate, too?! My, my). I have to say that the titterers in that crowd went down a notch in my respect.

In stark contrast was the graceful and dignified presence of Doria Ragland in an excruciatingly fraught and very visible social situation. (Harry and Meghan were of course bathed in a glow of their own).

Of the two sides of Harry and Meghan's families present at the wedding, it was Doria who was the real royal.

[Maraya1969]

58. I don't know about others but I had a hard time understanding your post

because I didn't know Megan Markle had white siblings.

I know you said "Caucasian branch" of the family but I really had no idea of who these white people were.

Edit: to add that I immediately went to white people in the Royal Family.

[LiberalFighter]

85. Personally, I think that whites tend to be more trashier than others.

Look at Trump. I may be biased in that my interaction is mostly with those of my race. When I do interact with others they are for the most part decent people. What I do realize is that I cannot treat minorities as not worthy of proper treatment just because of their race. In many cases I would likely prefer to interact with someone intelligent like the Obamas, Eric Holder, Neil deGrasse Tyson then someone famous like the Trumps or political like Paul Ryan.

[JI7]

5. i was thinking how it was nice to have a positive side of American Culture shown around the World

after all the shit happening with Trump, shootings etc.

and that the black american culture IS american culture. it may be more specific to a certain group but that's how culture usually is.

even though i'm not black things like the black church are familiar to me as someone that grew up in america .

another thing is that the British have always admired Black American Music and many of them are even more familiar with it than Americans. at a time when US Radio refused to play many things from Black Americans the Brits and other foreigners were listening to it. and you see it in big name musicians like Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Clapton etc.

[EffieBlack]

7. Yes

I was surprised to learn that the gospel choir was a British choir - singing one of the only truly American forms of music (besides jazz and the blues), music that grew out of the pain and suffering of slavery and the resilience and faith and hope of slaves.

[TrishaJ]

30. Agreed.

This wedding was a beautiful mixture of cultures made through love and grace.

[MBS]

52. + 1000 n/t

[Jane Austin]

10. Thank you for this exposition, Effie.

It gives me a much richer understanding of what all this means.

Thank you.

[Hekate]

12. I'm glad, I'm really glad. Thanks for this and other posts about the wedding...

Last edited Mon May 21, 2018, 04:16 AM - Edit history (1)

As you know, I never got to see the actual service from beginning to end, but the bits posted here were grand. I heard the choir and the cellist and eventually will get to hear the bishop's sermon when I have time to go to the link posted at DU. Everything I got to see on scattered tv reruns was wonderful, including the chorus of ululations when Harry and Meghan appeared in the church door.

The looks on some of the guests' faces were a stitch, but stiff upper lip was invented by their people, after all. Go to it, British upper class! You can do it!

I think Duchess Meghan and her mother are authentically themselves, and that is exactly as it should be. When they eventually meet the Obamas, that will be exactly as it should be.

I don't know why, but for some reason I thougt the first POC to marry into the royals would be an Indian -- fitting, given the once upon a time British Raj. Instead she's a California girl! Woot! And bi-racial! I don't know why I am so tickled, but for my own reasons I am, and I am glad that you (and the extended plural "you" ) are also happy and for your own reasons.

Cheers, Effie.

[Glamrock]

13. I get it. And it's awesome!

I hate to admit it, but I was naively positive about Obama being elected. I wept. Remember it like it was yesterday. I really thought that election meant we were moving beyond an ugly, violent past. I was so proud of my country for rejecting the racism that plagued us for so long.

Apparently my priveledge, or maybe my ignorance, blinded me to what was around the corner. The racist backlash that has ensued. Starting with the Tea Party protests and culminating with the current asshole occupying the White House. I'm sickened and ashamed.

I grew up next to Gary, IN. I'm not some rural hayseed who's never met a black person or been in their homes. As a singer, some of my biggest influences are Howling Wolf, John Lee Hooker, Sam Cooke, Otis Redding, Stevie Wonder, The Jackson 5, etc., etc., etc. I embrace the black culture, if I can be so bold. It's helped mold me into who I am today. If you don't believe in the power of music, I got nothing for ya. Shit my biggest white vocal influences were all influenced by black singers. Can't tell you how many hours I've spent trying to get Ray Charles or James Brown vocal runs down.

That being said, we are currently at a very low point, racially speaking. And it's ugly. And it's dark. But it's always darkest before the dawn. This marriage bolsters that point. As does Obama. We are slowly, but surely moving past this ugliness. This country, and the world is, moving past this shit. It may not seem like it. But it's happening. Slowly but surely. I know that sucks. Regardless of where I was raised or the influences that shaped me, I'll never understand fully. But it is happening. The wedding proves it.

[vlyons]

16. I love this thread

I'm a 71 yr white woman, a Buddhist, and I was mesmerized by this wedding. First, I thought, well she's not very black. She could pass for white if she wanted to. But of course, "black" is not biological; it's cultural. Then everything about the wedding knocked my socks off. From the sermon on love by the American Black Anglican bishop that ended in talking about social justice. A sermon that will be printed, read, studied and talked about for years. To the young black cellist, who demonstrated that yes, even black people can cross the line of white European classical music. To the beautiful tenor voice of the soloist in the black choir. Yes black culture is beautiful and poignant in its own right. To the joyous emotion on the face of Meghan's mom.

As a Buddhist, I saw that we are one body.

[7962]

74. CBS Sunday Morning did a story on the cellist's family; 6 kids ALL play classical.

And they're fantastic.

[KT2000]

17. Yes - it was a real celebration

I think everyone expected her to downplay her Black heritage and as a Black woman guest said - this gives her a new sense of freedom to be herself too.

Some light came into the world with this wedding.

[Raine]

18. Maybe it's going to take the Brits to show

Americans how to be inclusive..

[Neema]

56. This is no surprise to me honestly.

Not that the UK is free from racial strife, CLEARLY they are not, but on the whole they are way ahead of the US. My husband and I are not the same ethnicity, and every time we visit the UK, London especially, we always note how much more common it is to see mixed families there. And we live in a huuuuuge, diverse city so we see the best of American diversity every day. But it pales in comparison to London. Even British television shows way more diverse families where the mix of ethnicities is not part of the plot, it just is a way of life like anything else.

[mwooldri]

68. London is diverse. The rest of the UK? Not as much.

My schooling was pretty lily white. I did have a mixed-race couple living next door but that was the only one I was aware of on our entire housing estate. The fish and chip shop was run by a family from Hong Kong. I think the grocery store was owned by Greeks but I can't remember. We had no-one from a BAME background at school until secondary school and I got the most diverse class - the two non-Caucasian kids were in my class (from Seychelles, and Afro-Caribbean).

And this is in the Surrey Hills area - about 45 miles outside Central London.

You do have your urban areas where a lot of people from South Asia have settled (India, Pakistan, Sri-Lanka). However people will divide the natives up further e.g. North vs South, East vs West, England vs Wales, vs Scotland vs Ireland... and nearly everyone universally bashes the French.

As for TV shows with more diversity... well, Auntie (the BBC) needed a bit of prodding and pushing on that one, as she's the easiest to push around in terms of any political agenda (real or perceived).

btw I couldn't give a rat's arse about skin colour, though I get nervous when around new people and seeing differences... but at the end of the day if we can slag each other off in the most vulgar of terms and we each understand it to be a means of endearment then we know we have bonded (e.g. I often called a good friend from uni a fat scottish bastard, and he called me an ignorant english wanker).

[Neema]

70. What you described is still better than a lot of towns in America.

The town I grew up in was even whiter than what you described. Looking back, I have no idea how my wonderful amazing music teacher survived in our town. Not only was he black, I also highly suspect he was gay. God, how isolated he must have felt. My older brother was good friends with him and I absolutely adored him (so did my classmates, at least when they were all too little to understand they were "supposed" to hate him), but my town was full of racists so it could not have been easy.

My brother lived and worked for a time in a little town outside York. I went to visit him there when I was in high school and was so much more at home even there. The kids I met were far more worldly than anyone in my high school, even though all of them without fail spoke of London as if it were 10,000 miles away and had never been there.

And for real, we watch a lot of British shows and they are light years ahead of America, prodding or no prodding. A year or so ago, Americans lost their fucking minds because a cereal commercial featured an interracial family. Seriously. The fact that it was even worth noting boggles my mind. And if show has an interracial couple, or gay characters, or minority characters, the vast majority of the time it's because that's a plot point. Non-white, non-straight characters must always exist for a reason, not just because they exist in real life.

[Richluu]

83. The Brits made slavery illegal decades before America did...

...and their ships chased our slave ships on the Atlantic.

[JNelson6563]

19. The reaction has reminded me of Black Panther.

With both events generating such a powerful, positive energy, how can anyone not see how much better and brighter a world of inclusion and equality would be??

I find the prospect very exciting!

[oberliner]

29. Don't tell that to Michael Harriot

[EffieBlack]

32. Jealous?

Don’t worry, boo - I don’t even know Michael Harriot.

And, here’s a little fun fact. All black people don’t know each other and sometimes we even have different opinions, just like white people! Just something for you to know about my people now that we’re spending so much time together while you chase me around the DU board.

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

81. You mean the guy you said shouldn't be posted here? But then you went ahead

and posted some shit? Then got called out on your bullshit and cowardly deleted the post? That guy? Or am I thinking of somebody else?

[EarnestPutz]

20. What an absolutely great post this is.

I feel stupid not knowing or appreciating how this marriage was perceived in our black community. It's a revelation to me, and a happy revelation at that. Please, let this make the world a little better place. Let it be another "Obama" moment that lives on and makes us better.

[Ms. Toad]

72. This was more than an Obama moment

Royal weddings and similar events (President Obama's inaugurations being major and notable exceptions) have always been like that - they didn't affect us, didn't include us, didn't look like us. We WANTED to be a part of it. But even if we were welcome to watch it, we were never made to feel a part of it. But if we said so, we got blamed for ruining all the fun. So we just grinned and bore it - but didn't feel it and had a kind of sick sense throughout - or just stayed away from it altogether, promoting criticisms for being "divisive.

It is striking how similar this description is to how many LGBT individuals felt when, at Obama's first inauguration, he invited Rick Warren (rabid anti-LGBT preacher) to share the stage with him - and the LGBT individuals (including myself) who volunteered, donated, etc. to help elect Obama were made to feel excluded by Obama's choice to invite a pastor, known primarily for his hatred of gays, to join the stage with him. As Effie describes in connection with blacks, when the LGBT community expressed our anguish, we were accused of whining about special ponies and spoiling all of the fun.

That said - Obama dramatically changed his views on homosexuality because of his interactions with both members of his staff, and parents of his daughters' friends. I can't imagine him making that choice today. But then I could not even bring myself to watch his first inauguration because of that sense of being sick about that choice, and all that it implied about whether I was truly welcome to bring my entire self to the table of this administration.

This royal wedding was so much more. It felt intentionally inclusive - especially of blacks, who are rarely invited to bring their entire selves anywhere. But also of anyone who was willing to be fully present, without excluding others.

[Tobin S.]

23. K&R. Unity should be the message we carry into the world.

Great post. When we can reach out to each other in love we start to heal.

[Kentonio]

24. Lovely post.

Also I wouldn't be worried about the Queen's facial expressions which many people have commented about on social media. People forget sometimes that she's 92 years old, and churches aren't particularly comfortable places to sit for extended periods.

[EffieBlack]

34. Exactly

I couldn’t care less about their facial expressions. I wasn’t expecting her or Philip to suddenly start behaving like they’ve never behaved before (although I’m sure that there was some foot patting going on down there).

The bottom line is that very little happens in that family without the Queen’s express or tacit approval. And I doubt that a single word or song or gesture or anything else in that wedding program would have happened if the Queen didn’t want it to. So the fact that this #RoyalWeddingSoBlack moves me deeply because I see it not just as the creation of two young modern people in love, but also a clear message from the Queen and the entire royal family.

[coeur_de_lion]

43. I agree

It is almost like they are showing us how to do it over here. You wouldn't think we need that lesson but we do.

It was all very well done and it made me feel really good about the Queen. None of it could have happened without her.

I did see some strained expressions when the preacher was talking. But I also saw Prince Charles take Meghan's mother's hand to make her feel more comfortable.

That made me cry.

[sarge43]

59. Age has something to do with it, but there are other reasons

1. Like most of us with a great deal of German ancestry, we, especially women, are cursed with the "Resting Bitch Face" or "The Grumpy Cat Look". We have no cheek bones to speak of to hold up the face, so time and gravity have their way with us. Our 'at attention' face may or may not have anything to do with our emotional state. Looking pissed off doesn't mean we are pissed off.

2. HM is Church of England (head of the church as a matter of fact). The first rule of attendance at any CofE ceremony is You Will Be Solemn. At a wedding you may be allowed a tiny smile or a dab of the hankie, but no more. They get their jollies with their splendid choral music. After the wedding, you drink, party and stay off the streets so as not to scare the tourists.

3. The love of her life is dying. That was possibly the last public event they will attend together. She may have been thinking about her wedding day, the day when dreams came true - conflicting emotions.

The pictures and vids of her before and after ceremony show a grandmother thrilled that one of her grandbabies is crazy in love with a remarkable young woman. What nan wouldn't be.

Second that about the OP. Wonderful insights.

[Rorey]

26. I'm a "Harry" and I'm a "Meghan"

I very much appreciate your post.

I'm not going to be very good at explaining myself, but I just want to say, I truly believe there are a lot more people like Harry and Meghan in this world, than people who judge others simply because of their ancestry. I believe that Harry loves Meghan because of who she is. And I also believe that Meghan loves Harry because of who he is.

I admire and adore the Obamas because of who they are, not because of the color of their skin. That's not to say that I wasn't ecstatic/proud/relieved that we finally elected someone who wasn't an old white man. We made that progress, and we have to hang onto it.

I voted for Hillary Clinton because of who I believe she is, not because she is a woman. Again, we can't lose any foothold we've made in that progress.

I hope for a world where every person judges every other person on nothing more than "the content of their character". It won't happen in my lifetime, but I hope it happens while this planet still exists. I think this Royal Wedding is a sign that we're at least going in the right direction.

[bobbieinok]

27. Thank you for this post and for the one in which you explained how now black girls also can see them

How this wedding makes it now possible for black girls to see themselves as 'a princess.'

[oberliner]

28. A "very woke prince" who wore a swastika at a "colonials and natives" themed costume party

And used racist epithets such as "Paki" and "raghead" as "affectionate nicknames" for someone from Pakistan.

[EffieBlack]

31. Let it go, boo

You sound foolish

[Byronic]

33. That's not fair.

Forgive me if there is a personal reason why you are unwilling to forgive such foolish behavior by Harry in his youth. You've mentioned this in several threads, so clearly it means a lot to you, and I don't wish to be unpleasant by denigrating your thoughts.

But, we all do stupid stuff when we are younger. We all mature at different times. We all need to be forgiven for our dumb choices in the past.

All I know is, in my opinion, Harry has more than made up for it. A friend of mine was a wounded veteran, and was in a very bad place for a number of years, he only saw the light at the end of the tunnel thanks to Prince Harry's Invictus Games. He personally met Harry, chatted to him, and has only positive things to say about the man. Harry was born into privilege, but he is doing SO much good.

Even the mighty Henry V was wild, foolish, Prince Hal once.

[brush]

36. Is it your job to always bring negativity? You never miss a beat.

[BuddhaGirl]

37. What's the point of this post?

Why do you want to shit on this thread?

Are you the same person you were in your youth? Hmmm?

[SidDithers]

39. Oh, there he is...nt

Sid

[EffieBlack]

42. "Just look over your shoulder, honey and I'll be THERRRRRE"

[treestar]

65. British sense of humor

is weird for us. We aren't entirely tuned in to how they see things.

Monty Python is a good start. Cracks me up a lot, but other things, I am

[7962]

76. Yes, they toss around a couple words that would get you BANNED from DU!!

Its just a totally different meaning there.

[pnwmom]

90. He was 20. He's grown up -- and "woke" -- since then. n/t

[MaryMagdaline]

35. Excellent post

[mcar]

38. I've been loving the tweets about it on Black Twitter

Another great essay, Effie. I so appreciate your perspective!

[Lars39]

40. I didn't watch it live....

just now watched the highlights (and still wiping my face). Lovely wedding....so well thought out. I just wish her mama had had someone there with her to squeeze her hand or hug or something. Very strong woman to get thru that all by herself.

[sarge43]

48. Well, she watched her daughter marry a good man who is crazy in love with her girl.

Mamas like that.

[Lars39]

53. True :-)

[Pluvious]

41. With all the negative and shameful crap going on in the world today...

... It's sure nice to see something moving in the right direction.

I despair of the Human Race ever waking up.

These incremental improvements we make are
too few, and too slow in coming.

[RandomAccess]

44. One thing I know for sure --

Another wonderful essay, Effie. Thanks.

But as I read it, as I compare it (or try to ) to how I'm feeling (exultant), the one thing I know deep within me: none of us is ever going to be able to fully express all the meaning of this joyful event. You do a fabulous job, I've tried to express some of my own.

But the reverberations of this event are going to spread out over the decades and even centuries to come. One reason is because not all the meaning and import is even capable of being captured in words -- or even other symbols. It just exceeds all that.

But it makes my heart leap with indescribable joy, repeatedly. And that's not an exaggeration.

Oh. I happened across that Tweet you referenced. It's a hoot. I laughed out loud:

@cam_acker
The choir. The Bishop. The Reverend. The cellist. And one of the carriage horses is named Tyrone. #RoyalWeddingSoBlack

Link to tweet

[EffieBlack]

45. You are so right

And that tweet totally broke Twitter - one for the ages.

[brer cat]

46. K&R

[BumRushDaShow]

47. The "shot" heard around the world

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

51. I'm sufficiently ill-informed

that I had no idea Meghan Markle was black, or at least bi-racial, despite having seen photos of her, until the engagement was announced and that seemed to be the most important part of it.

She seems like a very classy young woman, and it is so obvious they are madly in love.

And the formal wedding portrait is wonderful.

I happen to know a reasonable number of people who are biracial, or whose children or grandchildren are.

Heck, one woman I went to high school with (and she was one of the class princesses) had three children, all of whom married African Americans. When I've seen her at reunions I sort of want to ask about it, but I don't want to make the racial thing the most important aspect of her children and grandchildren. The family photos she posts of FB are sort of the reverse of Meghan and Harry's in that she and her husband are the only white ones in the photos. Well, sometimes one of her own children will be in a picture, but not very often.

[BumRushDaShow]

60. You also have this connection

(there was a DU thread on it)

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

80. I actually find that kind of geneology tracing

to be weird, and I always wonder just how accurate the records are going that far back. Of course, maybe I'm just jealous, because since all four of my grandparents came from Ireland, and while I'm quite proud and happy of that fact, there is pretty much zero chance I'm related to anyone notable within the past thousand years or more.

Although I will say I find the DNA research companies fascinating. I had mine done with 23 and me and it was quite dull. Well, I think being almost entirely Irish (a smidgen of Scandinavian and a tiny, tiny bit of Sardinian, not to mention some Neanderthal) is interesting enough, my ancestors are almost all from one place.

I do have a friend who is mostly Chinese, but there's quite a bit of other stuff, and she had hers done through National Geographic. She recently showed me the results, and the single most interesting thing is that it shows some percentage from Turkey. There's a family story about people from Turkey going to China and becoming their ancestors. It is great to have such family stories verified.

[BumRushDaShow]

82. One thing that helped in the geneology searches

particularly for the distant past, were the church (or other religious institution) records, where births, marriages, and deaths were usually recorded - and that included records maintained in family religious books (e.g., bibles).

The issue of we AAs is that we can often trace back to some slave plantation, but trying to get some of those records of the ancestors dragged over here (and from where on the African continent) can be difficult because names were lost along the way (outside of oral histories), and records that still exist of ship cargo manifests (note "cargo" NOT "passenger" ) are often in archives on microfiche (something that was shown in Haley's follow-on miniseries "Roots II: The Next Generations" ). Some of the larger plantations kept meticulous records of their "property" for financial reasons, but how many of those logs and ledgers still exist is hit or miss - including whether they survived the Civil War (e.g., "Sherman's March" that basically burned Atlanta, the surrounding area, and then east across Georgia proper to the Atlantic ocean, to the ground).

In any case, technology has slowly unlocked many preserved records, where digitization has made them more easily accessible (and that includes the census records that are slowly getting online).

[keroro gunsou]

75. black brown purple or green

we all bleed red.

obviously i am not personally aquainted with either one of the newlyweds, but they appear to be madly in love and we need more love in this world for certain.

[geardaddy]

57. It does show progress for the royals

I just hope Prince Philip didn't say anything racist. He's been known to have some pretty racist gaffes.

[heaven05]

61. YES

[catrose]

63. Someday...

a child will look at that photo and ask, "Which one is the queen?"
Someone will say, "The lady in the green dress."
"But which one?"
I look forward to that day.

The bridge photo of the original Star Trek still makes me tear up, like it did when I first saw it, all those different folks. (Yes, I know all the problems with the show.) But it represented a world that could be, that should be. I feel the same way about these photos. They're not the same as maybe Queen Charlotte had a drop of African blood or Victoria had a black goddaughter: Meghan and her mom are in the very center of this family, and the service was very much from the bride's traditions, as it should be. Other royal weddings were obviously about folding the bride into royal traditions.

[Soph0571]

64. It is hugely important for people of colour in the UK also

The Duchess of Sussex is grabbed and hugged everywhere she goes here by black woman. While we are a bit further on than America in accepting our diversity we still have a way to go. This is HUGE. For our young black men and women who have been accepted but not included this is a game changer. Fuck me, the Firm described her as feminist on their www today. She is not just a woman of colour joining a 1000 year old family firm, they are already embracing the changes she will bring. The wedding is only the start. Absolutely splendid!

[Equinox Moon]

66. Hugs and kisses all around

[Lucinda]

67. Well said Effie...and thanks for the # heads up!

[ancianita]

77. I love this. Thanks.

[Civic Justice]

78. Britain, Showed America and the World how people of mixed ethnicity should live!!!!

Britain has today shown what the wonders of the world present when people can mix ethnicity and cultures to present a Glorious Union. The "Tiara" worn by Duchess of Sussex Megan Markle, which was lent for the occasion by the Queen, is and does make a profound statement!!!! Followed by Prince Charles of Wales, Walking Megan Markel Down the Aisle. "SPEAKS VOLUMES" !!!!! It also denotes the legacy of Princess Diana's Values which she instilled in her Children of "EQUALITY" which was demonstrated in the works Princess Diana committed herself unto and never wavered.
To grasp the significance, beyond pomp and pageantry is there for the thinking minds to embrace. This is a representation of Democracy in Heart of Equality of Person-hood within Humanity. It shows the Monarchy, is about its duty, more than it is about autocratic and monarchical dominance over others, but about the premise of Care and Compassion and the works that involves as a duty to Monarchical Premise, they stand "as they do, and as Monarchy was established to do, which is "Serve and Protect The People". Great Stand, Britain in this momentous occasion.



https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210632869

[Fortinbras Armstrong]

84. I loved Bishop Curry's sermon

Yes, it ran a bit long, and he did repeat himself more than once. But that was a genuine proclamation of Christ's message of love by a true minister of the Gospel. I hope that Ms May and all the members of the government took it to heart (but I'm not holding my breath).

[cpamomfromtexas]

86. I loved it. So nice to see people happy about it.

Have had a rough time lately with abusive elder parents and I just wanted to relax and watch it all.

So out of character for me, but I was trying to concentrate on happy things and escape my crazy life at the moment.

[EffieBlack]

87. I think it took a lot of people by surprise how much it affected them emotionally and how happy it

made many of us feel.

[TNNurse]

88. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings on this.

I was surprised and pleased at his words and his enthusiasm. I was not sure how others would feel. I thought he was a little lively for an Episcopalian and just what was needed.