"Combover Caligula" - Fugelsang on Dolt45's latest tweet

[fleur-de-lisa]

John Fugelsang✔ @JohnFugelsang

Well, we all owe an apology to @Alanis bc Combover Caligula here truly doesn't know the meaning of "ironic." Don't ya think?

Link to tweet

…

8:11 AM - Jun 7, 2018

Link to tweet

"Combover Caligula" . . .

[lunatica]

1. Yup. The emperor of the triple twist flying combover

He has it down to a fake science (because he doesn’t believe in science). The hair he does have somewhere on the top of his head which might be in the crown section or maybe the upper back of the head is combed forward and isolated into a kind of ponytail jutting off the forehead at his erstwhile hairline.

He then takes the two long locks of hair which are about a foot long on each side of his head and combs them to the middle of the back of his head in his unique bird wing wave, carefully covering the top of his ears. He sprays the fucking shit out of it. Once it has that hard, crisp feel to the touch, he liberated the top hair from the rubber band and leaning forward he gyrates in a perfect head tossing pirouette. When he lands he does so while spraying the shit out of his hair as it floates down into place. This is how he gets that much coveted cotton candy look.

Carefully checking all sides in his 5 sided full body plus ceiling panel mirror he has recently started adding extra spray to the back of his head due to the inconvenient wind at the airport when he boards the plane.

This is the reason he needs more “executive” time than other presidents. Like Imelda Marcos he is just making himself beautiful for his base. I mean handsomely manly in a muchos macho way. This is essential. I’ll Duce is what he aims for.

[Pluvious]

13. That was beautifully written, almost poetry.

We all are finding our own way through these troubled times, as we try to balance the absurd against the abhorrent.

It's nice to see your positive cathartic prose over the typical ugly responses The Orange One inhabiting the White House Dump in D.C. usually inspires.

Manure CAN make for a Good Fertilizer.

[lunatica]

14. Thanks

Humor is a proven survival tactic and it helps maintain mental health. It also has the added value of lifting everyone who reacts to it.

[IrishEyes]

2. Thank you, Mr Fugelsang. I now have a favorite name for trump.

Last edited Thu Jun 7, 2018, 11:32 AM - Edit history (1)

Combover Caligula is a great name for him.

[Pepsidog]

4. We really do need to come up with a nick name for him that sticks

[fleur-de-lisa]

5. I keep a running list of them, to be used based on his most recent atrocity.

These are my current favorites:

Cadet Bone Spurs
Dolt 45
Mango Mussolini
Nostradumbass

[47of74]

6. Here's mine

With varying degrees of obscenity depending on my mood

Orange Fornicate
Fornicate Face
Fuck Face
Orange Fuck
The Giant Orange Tapeworm
The Orange Toxic Megacolon
Fuckface von Clownstick
Orange Shithead
Orange Doofus
Orange Dumb Fuck
Herr Orange
Trumpenführer
Adolf Trumpler
Donald J. Hitler
Orange Sack of Shit
Cheeto
The Orange Wipe
Cheetolini
Il Douche
Fuck Head

[fleur-de-lisa]

7. Impressive!

[IrishEyes]

11. I like Cheetolini.

I try to avoid any with curse words since I often talk about politics with my parents but Fuckface von Clownstick is always good.

[aggiesal]

12. I like IQ45 ...

for obvious reasons!

And Donnie Two-Scoops

[Pepsidog]

15. Impressive effort !

[gratuitous]

10. Needy Amin

You have to be of a certain (ahem) vintage to get the full effect, but it carries the message pretty effectively.

[Pepsidog]

3. Yea and you better bring extra underwear President Poopy Pants cause Mueller terrifies you.

Yea you dumb ass, while you are globe hopping selling out America, Bobby Mueller and his 13 angry patriots will quietly continue their investigation that will ultimately rip your asshole so wide a semi-tractor trailer could drive through it. So keep on tweeting you dim-witted douche bag cause pretty soon you will be exposed as the biggest criminal in American history. What will hurt you the most is the discovery that you sold out America for a few bucks because let’s face it Despicable Don you are no billionaire. You are nothing but a two-bit con man who Bobby Mueller is going to expose for the world to see. You will go down in history as not only the worst president we have ever had but you will be exposed as the horrible human being we all know you are. Have fun on trips Donnie, cause Bobby will be waiting for you to return.

[bronxiteforever]

8. Oh man I love this!!!

[SCVDem]

9. As Bill Maher says,

Trump is a Whiny Little Bitch!