neighbors are having a huge fight

[backwoodsbob]

he has a history of being violent.I have already called 911 but the cops aren't here yet.If he gets violent do i wait on the cops or intervene?.Can here them through the wall so i have a good idea how it is escalating

[backwoodsbob]

1. nm

cops are here

[CherokeeDem]

8. Thank goodness....

You did good...hope every one's okay.

[upaloopa]

2. let the police handle it

[B Calm]

3. Wait, you did your part!

[DearAbby]

4. Do not intervene

you place yourself in danger, and her..Call 9/11 again and explain the escalation.

[CherokeeDem]

5. Wait for the cops if at all possible...

couples fighting have a tendancy to both turn on whoever intervenes. It's hard to stand by, but you don't know what weapons he has. Whatever you decide to do, please be careful.

[Care Acutely]

6. Thank you SO MUCH for making the call.

I might still have all of my teeth if someone had done that for me once upon a time, long ago.

So bless you. You may never know what good you did today.

[dballance]

7. It is FAR TOO dangerous for you to intervene

It is well known domestic disputes are some of the most dangerous calls police respond to. You are not trained to handle this.

Having said that, if you start hearing him throwing her around and beating the crap out of her I might have to intervene to the point of just knocking on the door and asking if everything is okay. That might deescalate the situation for a few minutes.

Very tough call.

[TreasonousBastard]

21. I did exactly that when...

I heard some scary crying two apartments down.

Being a NYC cavedweller means you hear a lot of things, including the usual arguments, and most of the time you just tune it out. Sometimes, some people just gotta yell to get it out of their system.

This one time, though, there was a desperate wailing/crying sound that was, well, different. Couldn't say for sure it was physical, but couldn't be too sure it wasn't either. Called the cops first then knocked on the door, hoping they showed up soon if I needed them. Guy answered the door, saying she was "upset" and, yeah, that was pretty much all it took for the wailing to stop once they knew someone noticed and whatever was happening was interrupted.

Cops showed up a few minutes later and no one was hauled off. Didn't ask, nobody told, what happened in there, but the good news was it didn't escalate.

[dballance]

22. Thank you for your concern and courage

Last edited Mon Aug 6, 2012, 05:23 AM - Edit history (1)

My neighbors argue from time to time but it typically just consists of raised voices and foul language. There was one time I heard loud banging like things being thrown or overturned. I went next door and rang the bell. When the guy answered I simply stated it seemed a bit loud over there and asked if everything was okay? I tried to remain as neutral as possible. No asking if he was beating his wife or anything like that.

After that things calmed down right away.

It is a tough call. I was frightened to do what I did.

[Renew Deal]

9. It's probably a bad idea to directly intervene unless someone is in danger.

[kestrel91316]

10. STAY AWAY!!!! Let the cops handle it.

We recently had a guy in my apartment building who went off his meds and was running around the parking area threatening people with a switchblade and trying to carjack them. He went back into his apartment and smashed his bedroom picture window as we watched, and I was just glad he didn't fling himself on the shards (he was 2nd floor).

Sometimes the crazy people of this world can be VIOLENT. I assume your neighbors are crazy, or perhaps just lack manners.

[UnrepentantLiberal]

11. You did the right thing.

[physioex]

12. I once read...

The most dangerous calls for police officers are domestic violence. You did your part, leave it alone.....

[Speck Tater]

13. I once had neighbors like that. Here's what I did.

When it got bad I'd find someplace else to go. Go visit my sister, take a book to the park, go see a movie.

All the while I was working on finding another place so I could move away from them. The minute it became possible for me to move I packed up and was gone, and never looked back.

The first rule for being safe is "don't be where the trouble is."

[physioex]

15. Been there...

But it is not so simple as it brings up other issues like moving expenses, commuting, terms of lease, finding a place, family, etc... Anyways, I am not naive enough to think every situation can be fixed or person changed but as human beings we do have some obligation to others...

And I eventually moved myself.

[Speck Tater]

18. Agreed! It's never simple.

It took me 18 months to finally be able to move out of there. But it was worth the trouble.

[backwoodsbob]

14. update....dumnass is going to jail

they have him handcuffed in a car.I hate men like that

[physioex]

16. Bravo, you did the right thing. EOM

[Kaleva]

19. Don't tell anyone you called 911

In domestic fights, the couple together sometimes turn on the police and I've read about cases where the woman attacked the police after they had handcuffed the husband or boyfriend and were taking him away and so the woman ends up being arrested herself.

[progressivebydesign]

17. So glad you called 911!!

too many people don't, they don't want to get involved as if domestic abuse is "dirty laundry." It's always sad when you hear of a murder or vicious assault, and the neighbors heard it and did nothing.

Good for you.

[backwoodsbob]

20. re re update

she's here.The police are here too.This is nuts.She is pressing charges from what I gather.He chocked her i guess...still trying to figure this out They have her outside talking...she IS GOING TO press charges.

Going to be a long night

[applegrove]

23. Call out and say do you want to come to my house until the cops arrive?