#secondcivilwarletters is trending on Twitter. There are some good ones!

[Initech]

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[Leghorn21]

1. Fuggin genius hilarity, with no end in sight!! For once, I gotta say, "Thanks, Alex Jones!"

Not really
Yeah, really
Nah

Thanks for putting this post together, In!!!

[Iggo]

2. That's good stuff.

[ProfessorGAC]

3. You Bet!

I was going to type the same thing.

[dixiegrrrrl]

19. Also...

#SecondCivilWarProblems

1. Everyone is just holding up their phone and recording each other. This is how it’s done, right?

2. Can’t we just Snapchat the other side? I’m trying to not get my nails dirty.

[Tipperary]

4. K and R!

This makes me want to go on Twitter lol!

[brer cat]

5. Love this one.

Dear Ma,
We defeated the red hats today by accurate bombardment of correctly placed apostrophes onto their misspelled signage. They retreated in confusion and some shame. #secondcivilwarletters

[lapfog_1]

26. I chuckled on the rest, that one caused me to laugh until tears formed.

[ehrnst]

6. My favorite:

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[Pacifist Patriot]

7. Brilliant! It's Tweets like these that make me wish I was more clever.

[dixiegrrrrl]

23. This one is ultra-clever:

My love,
My battalion, the 22nd feminazis, have taken many nazi red-hats hostage by promising to take their virginity. Instead, we torture them by doing yoga while free bleeding.
They asked for a red wave, and they got one
Pls. send more yoga pants.

[Coventina]

24. I liked that one too.

This is another great one:


Our unit is being held as POWs in a Waffle House just outside Raleigh NC. We speak to each other via our heroic code talkers, Jose & Carlos. Fortunately the Red Caps do not seem to understand Spanish. Or irony. Or sarcasm. Or grammar.

Your,
Joe

[dixiegrrrrl]

25. Yes!

Great minds.....

[Pacifist Patriot]

30. Ha! I texted that one to my husband.

Fucking awesome!

[PunkinPi]

8. OMG

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I stared at the dying soldier, his Alt-Reich Douchestaffel uniform covered in blood.

He gripped my arm, eyes wild with fear of impending death.

"One question..." he gasped.

"Anything," I said.

With his last breath he sighed, "What is a clitoris?"

#secondcivilwarletters

[eissa]

10. Rick Wilson is a beast!!

LMAO, best one yet!

[PunkinPi]

12. He had me at "Douchestaffel".

[NewJeffCT]

13. More from Wilson

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Pinned down by heavy crew-served weapons fire by a Trumpistani unit intel missed, our squad had only one hope.

SGT Ramirez distracted the enemy by yelling, "Free Oxycontin!" The numerically superior Trumpistani unit surrendered immediately.

#SecondCivilWarLetters

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Colonel:

During the 3rd Battle of Charlottesville we captured enemy caches of citronella oil, Tiki torches, and Japanese pornography.

Also, Trumpistani leader Richard Spencer was captured as he attempted to escape into a local Walmart dressed as a woman.

[muriel_volestrangler]

38. Walter Schaub is replying to him, and has little sympathy for a certain character

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Dear Jeb,
Our depleted ranks grew when a yankee, one Mr. Dershowitz, was shunned from the evening’s repast and defected to our side. Alas, he will surely starve before deigning to partake of our crackers dressed with cheese from the aerosol spray can. #secondcivilwarletters

[Tatiana]

18. ***Literally just spewed coffee through nostrils***

Wilson does have a way with words...

[uponit7771]

34. OMG

[lillypaddle]

9. And this is why I love twitter

[backtoblue]

11. Thanks for the giggles!

These are pretty darn funny!

[llmart]

14. OMG! These are funny.

Gotta get our laughs somehow these days and if it's at the expense of the trump nutjobs, then yeah.

No doubt in anyone's mind that Democrats have amazing senses of humor and Republicans have zero.

[Initech]

22. Patton Oswalt has a great one:

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[handmade34]

15. and this

is one reason that I am a democrat... our humor is soooooo good!! these have to be put in a book

[not fooled]

16. Great!

so donnie's good for something--serving as the ample butt of jokes.

[Coventina]

17. "Luftwaffle" (Waffle House)

Dearest Marie- We have surrounded the Luftwaffle at their headquarters. It will take our most heavily armored vehicles to break through the line of waifu pillow reinforcements. But with God’s help, we shall be victorious.

[GoCubsGo]

20. The Red Hats are trolling that hashtag now.

They're even funnier, but only because they're so pathetic.

[lame54]

21. Should I wear Grey or Blue?

[revmclaren]

27. Puce......

The color of the day is puce.

[roamer65]

32. Your job is to invade SE Michigan for annexation to Ontario.

I have some loonies saved up, so I am ready for the switchover.

[superpatriotman]

28. K&R

[juxtaposed]

29. This is fucking hysterical

[roamer65]

31. I see James Woods commented.

He had better pray that it isn’t my brigade that captures him.

[Scurrilous]

33. K&R

[uponit7771]

35. I'm glad I'm not the only one who spent more than an hour reading them! The meta in them

... are off the charts funny.

[muriel_volestrangler]

36. Dear father,

I've arrived at the outpost. No one seems to be here. Are you sure you sent me the right coordinates?

Awaiting further instructions.

I'm so lonely.
#secondcivilwarletters

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[Gothmog]

37. Official Uniform

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[lapfog_1]

39. My Dear Wife

We encountered General Kellyanne on the field of battle today...



we all ordered corndogs and cokes and she was too busy to actually have an organized thought.

Not clear if ordering the corndogs caused this situation.

The battle is won!

[Gothmog]

40. When you didn't get the memo about the dress code for the #SecondCivilWar.

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[Akacia]

41. OMG! These are the best! NA.