General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsInside Incels' Looksmaxing Obsession: Penis Stretching, Skull Implants And Rage
Thousands of involuntarily celibate men in online forums are consumed by misogynist entitlement and a skin-deep quest for self-improvement.
By Jesselyn Cook 07/24/2018 05:46 am ET
Its late on a Friday, and hundreds of men are browsing the forum Lookism.net. A new member logs on and posts two photos showing the lower half of his face.
What surgeries/implants are needed to fix this? he asks. As you can see I have a recessed jaw/chin.
The replies come swiftly: Its not just your chin. Your upper lip is retruded as well. Orthognathic surgery if you can afford it. Chin implant or [genioplasty] if you cant. You should also look at jaw angle implants, someone responds. Start saving.
Its a typical exchange on the message board, where new posts continue to pop up throughout the night with men asking other men for physical evaluation and advice.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/incels-looksmaxing-obsession_us_5b50e56ee4b0de86f48b0a4f
irisblue
(32,969 posts)Only mention of penis stretching is this...."Penis stretching, eyebrow botox, wrist enlargement, neck training, nostril shrinking and 3D-printed skull implants are among the desired procedures and coping strategies discussed at length on these sites."
LuckyCharms
(17,425 posts)I would tell these guys to stop looking in the goddamn mirror, get off the computer, get out of the house, stop worrying about every detail of your looks, do some freaking work with your hands and accomplish something. People will naturally gravitate to you when you do that.
It seems that they can't find people willing to have sex with them? I would also advise them that when you obsess over your superficial traits, you have nothing to offer someone else.
TubbersUK
(1,439 posts)I'm surprised that any of them need that.
Snotcicles
(9,089 posts)LuckyCharms
(17,425 posts)I had a little...problem.
TubbersUK
(1,439 posts)ismnotwasm
(41,976 posts)Came up from the backwash of the internet to whine even louder on Huffpo
Hortensis
(58,785 posts)who are finding themselves shut out of the marriages and family lives they thought they'd have deserve far better than this.
If anyone thinks he or she would be good at helping the men who have come to see themselves as having lost out develop confidence in themselves, there should be a huge market developed out there.
DetlefK
(16,423 posts)Option 2: Cosmetic surgery.
Now, which one can be done with the least amount of effort?
comradebillyboy
(10,144 posts)Option one takes a lot of self examination and hard work.
Initech
(100,065 posts)They're not "perfect" so they take it out on not only those who are, but also themselves. Classic self loathing.
See here's the thing, Incels. You want to get laid? Go to college, learn a skill. Women who have careers and make twice or even 3 times as much as you aren't going to be impressed by some barely educated dolt who works the late shift at the Carl's Jr drive thru.
The problem isn't them. The problem is you. No amount of plastic surgery can hide your ugly personality.
NewJeffCT
(56,828 posts)it's never their fault they can't get laid - it's feminazis, Hollywood, etc - and that they're "too nice"
I used to be told I was too nice a lot when I was in my teens and into my 20s as well. I never blamed women, though (OK, maybe an occasional woman was temporarily blamed out of frustration, but never for longer than a day) - I blamed myself.
It really wasn't until I met my now ex-wife that I learned to just relax and be myself. Sure I wasn't the most outgoing guy or have a sense of humor like Robin Williams or Jerry Seinfeld, but I could be a little funny, and I could listen well and ask a woman questions about their lives, or their day or other things. And, I always treated women with respect and rooted for them to do well with their careers/jobs. (my ex was a small woman with a big chest and said that one of the reasons she liked me from the beginning was that I was the first guy in her life that didn't notice her for her boobs first)
after my ex filed for divorce, the now more relaxed NewJeffCT went on an epic dating spree for a few years before meeting my second wife, whom I'm still with 16 years later.
Turbineguy
(37,320 posts)I talk to people who don't have it.
Brother Buzz
(36,416 posts)Initech
(100,065 posts)Unfortunately these freaks don't.
Afromania
(2,768 posts)DavidDvorkin
(19,473 posts)WhiskeyGrinder
(22,327 posts)dawg
(10,624 posts)something is seriously wrong with our society when so many of our young people feel they are so ugly and unlovable. It's terrible when our young women feel this way, and it's also terrible when our young men do so.
And while these feelings of inadequacy are not an excuse for acting out, or even for the hateful words that some of them post on their internet forums, they are a sad reflection of a culture that promotes impossible standards of beauty for both sexes, and pushes the notion that sex and relationships are the ultimate measure of a person's worth.
Dulcinea
(6,629 posts)Plenty of average-looking men have wives, girlfriends, and don't lack for female companionship. That's because they actually like and respect women, not hate and fear them like so-called incels seem to. The problem is YOU, incels, not the way you look.
Solly Mack
(90,762 posts)They're not involuntary celibates - they're actively, willing self-loathers who get a thrill from one-upping each other in self hate.
They've embraced the worst in themselves, wear it like a badge, celebrate it with other losers - and then blame women for it.
Aristus
(66,325 posts)I credit embracing my inner liberal with avoiding the worst of it. Having empathy and sympathy for the oppressed and the downtrodden helped. Seeing the struggles faced by African-Americans, gays, etc. made me a more open and empathetic person.
It seems selfishness is one of the worst causes of the incel mentality.
EllieBC
(3,013 posts)You know how to meet people? LEAVE THE HOUSE. Meet people. Open your ears and listen and open your mouth and talk. Get to know each. You can tell a lot more about a person in an hour in person than 10 hours online. And if that person isn't interested maybe you've made a friend who might know someone who might be interested. This is how so many of my friends have met their spouses and significant others through people they already know. But you cannot even get that far if you are a douche who refuses to learn any common sense manners.