Well-armed gay chickens for Jesus, Mark Morford

[madokie]

I duly say unto you Mark Morford needs no introduction. madokie

We have it all backwards. We are doing it so very wrong. We apparently cannot see the light amid the shell casings, the truth amid the blasting heat waves and the deep-fried chicken parts.

Here is the Truth: If only more kind, peaceful humans who believe in God, family and community, if only people whose hearts were full — well, not of love or kindness, exactly, but more like fear and suspicion — if only these beings would strap on more deadly weaponry to their bodies as they entered their chosen places of worship, the world would be a safer place, and ex-Army racists like Wade Michael Page would not be able to walk in and shoot anyone he pleases with a semiautomatic weapon he bought legally down the street after band practice. Agreed?

Welcome to the bizarre, reverso-world lessons of the NRA, the Christian right, Fox News, the God-fearing and the wildly paranoid. Behold, those who somehow believe, despite all evidence, history and common sense, that only guns prevent more guns. Only hate prevents hate. And only the latent, ongoing threat of violence prevents more violence. Call it “Jesus’ lost teaching.”

“Fear and judge each other into terrified, skeptical, hetero-only love,” he did not say, sipping some sweet tea humbly offered to him by mourning Sikhs before ruthlessly shaming them for their lack of munitions training. “And always, always carry a nice Glock 9mm.”

Read the rest: http://blog.sfgate.com/morford/2012/08/07/gay-chickens-for-jesus/

[geckosfeet]

1. Lovely stuff. Captures the double talk and ironic twisted logic with a touch of humor and sarcasm...

I hope posting an additional four paragraphs does not violate fair use policy.

Well-armed gay chickens for Jesus

Do not laugh. I believe everything Fox News and the NRA tell me. I believe that more people should carry deadly weapons to the movies, the mall, the bar, Christmas dinner. Fetishizing guns even more than we already do is the only way to secure our country and protect ourselves from ourselves, our neighbors, all that we do not understand. Every American worth his puerile cowboy mythology should think, “Hey, I’m going to see this ultra-violent, comic-book action film at midnight with my friends. I need to strap on a handgun and maybe a few knives before having have my synapses pulverized three ways from angry Jesus. This will make America safer.”

How can you not be enraptured by such raging contradictions, misconceptions, denials? I am dazzled by how, for example, fervent Christians in the fever swamps of America surely believe going to church, praising Jesus, saying one’s prayers, surrounding oneself with religious icons — all these amplify Christian devotion and make you feel more connected and sanctimonious.

Yet somehow surrounding yourself with more weapons, more aggression, more fear and protectionism, this somehow lessens and negates that violence, instead of inviting it in like a pedophile priest at a Boy Scout convention. Do I have that straight, Paranoid America? God begets more God, piousness begets more piousness, but firearms designed solely to kill people only beget… security? Testify!

Speaking of reverso-thinking, do you know the other urgent issue such ill-informed ideology helps solve? Why, it’s the brutal woes of climate change, extreme weather, the savage droughts currently plaguing the United States and much of the world, of course.

Well-armed gay chickens for Jesus