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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsShaun King humiliated by by phony call (from twitter)
Shaun King
8 hrs ·
Someone hateful has targeted my children tonight. The lowest moment of my life as a leader. Pray for us. Were safe, but deeply humiliated.
Tonight my daughter was scheduled to star in a lead role in a musical here in NYC. We're all dressed & ready & excited.
20 minutes before the musical began, I got a phone call from the doorman of the building we live in that someone was there to provide childcare for our kids. I knew right away that something was off.
We don't hire and have never hired outside childcare for our kids. The kids were all with me.
I knew immediately that something was very wrong. I was confused and even wondered if they had simply called the wrong person.
I asked my doorman again who was there.
He said "a woman is here and she wants to talk to you about childcare for your kids."
Right away, I thought that either a stalker had come to our apartment or that someone was there to play a cruel joke of some kind on my family.
We worked very hard to hide the address of our home.
I asked our doorman to put the person on the phone.
The woman on the other end then DEMANDED to see three of my children.
She called them by name. Then I knew something was horribly wrong.
And said that she had to see them immediately.
At this point, I literally tell her "Yeah the fuck right you are about to see my kids."
I asked her again who she was and she said her name was Elisa Hiu and that she worked for ACS and needed to see my children immediately.
I'm not from New York, so when she said ACS, that meant nothing to me. She might as well have said ABCD.
What she said next got me. I finally stopped her and asked what the hell ACS is.
She said she worked for New York Child Services (ACS) and that a formal complaint had been filed that my wife and I had abandoned our children and allowed them to do drugs.
I kid you not. I couldn't believe it.
Still I didn't believe she was who she said she was.
I asked her if she knew who I was at all. She said she didn't.
But that she needed to see me and my children immediately. When I told her we were not home, she didn't believe us. She assumed because my doorman called me that that meant I was in the physical apartment. He called my cell.
When I told her we were not home, she insisted on meeting me where I was. I told her under no circumstance was I about to allow a stranger come see me and my family.
She then said that she needed to come wherever I was to see them since I was not home because she believed my children were in danger.
I kid you not.
I told her I needed to speak to her supervisor at ACS. She then put me in touch with her supervisor, who then said if I did not allow New York Child Services to see and interview my children that they were going to call the police.
I then told the supervisor again at New York Children's Services that somebody had played a cruel prank on my family and on them.
She didn't care. She didn't understand. And just couldn't believe that such a thing happened.
I asked the supervisor, "Who made this report?" And she literally said it was an anonymous report and that they had no information on the person who filed it.
Let me make something very clear in my next tweet.
Just as I said to them on the phone.
Under no circumstances will anybody from the NYPD or New York Children's Services be speaking to anybody in my family.
I'm going to have to be in violation of New York law, but you will not force my children to participate in a single interview over a false complaint. PERIOD.
Clearly a cruel attack on my family happened and they abused this reporting system as a tool.
This is an ugly sign of the age we are living
John Gruff
(58 posts)To my understanding.
no_hypocrisy
(54,877 posts)You can have a neighbor report you, even your own kids and there's nothing you can do except lawyer up before the kids are removed.
mfcorey1
(11,134 posts)oberliner
(58,724 posts)I would assume this happens to other people that don't write for any publications and don't have a million twitter followers. I guess those people just comply, allow the interviews, and move on with their lives.
Roy Rolling
(7,626 posts)Rich and famous privilege.
When the bubble is burst by a stranger saying, "I don't know who you are".
At that moment, the privilege stops opening (or closing) doors.
JCanete
(5,272 posts)children need to be protected, but obviously, because he is famous, this sort of thing can absolutely happen for nefarious reasons(really to anybody, but more likely to somebody in the public eye, and it seems to me that the credibility of the complaint should be examined. The rich and famous shouldn't be insulated, of course. But I certainly understand his fury at this incident occurring and it feeling violating..not sure why you don't. I'm also not sure that that's why he was asking the question. I think he thought this person was pranking him because this person knew who he was.
lapucelle
(21,052 posts)which is a very popular (and generally respected) daily tabloid in NYC and the metro area. It has a high readership for many reasons, not the least of which is its excellent New York sports coverage.
oberliner
(58,724 posts)Also the Daily News recently fired most of its writers.
alphafemale
(18,497 posts)I can't even imagine that level of cruelty.
lark
(26,068 posts)An abusive daycare operator was afraid I'd report her after I pulled my 1-1/2 year old son out of there and yelled at her for the abuse and at her husband for allowing the abuse, so they pre-emptively called in a report on me. Not being famous, I didn't fight it, had the case worker come over and my son proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was not the child she described nor was I the abusive mother she painted. In fact, the case worker was asking me why someone would do this when it was so obviously false, that my son was very well socialized and had verbal skills far above average for his age. I told her what happened, she filed an abuse case against the daycare provider and the ass got shut down by the state of CA. So it all ended well, although the first part was pure terror, first for my baby and then for me afraid that a bruise would get him taken away. Thankfully I got a good caring aware person as a case worker.
kimbutgar
(27,234 posts)My son is autistic and used to pour water on outlets and sneak electronics into his bathtub to hear the sounds of something shorting out. He was about 8 years old then. My husband had a jock lighter that gave a shock and let him use it. We told him that it would hurt even more if he played with the electrician outlet around water. We met with a therapist and my husband told this story. Somehow the story morphed into that we used a stun gun on him and got the call from cps. They came and met with us and we told them the truth. We showed them the lighter. They made us leave and interviewed our son, thank goodness he was verbal enough to talk. Afterwards the woman apologized to us and sent us a letter later exonerating us.
It was so scary for us.
lark
(26,068 posts)I'm sure it was totally terrifying.
hlthe2b
(113,844 posts)if not handled properly.
John Gruff
(58 posts)About 90% of cases referred to a ACS turn out to be unfounded.
Ordinary people who are victims of falls anonymous report have to communicate with ACS workers during an investigation for months.
Are only people who can afford lawyers going to be free from anonymous callers?
hlthe2b
(113,844 posts)THAT is why he needs a lawyer at THIS juncture.
The need for a lawyer has NOTHING to do with being "fair" (or not) to non-famous people... The fact is that he has placed himself in legal jeopardy and the same would be true of any individual who responded similarly.
mfcorey1
(11,134 posts)hlthe2b
(113,844 posts)He needs to get on top of this.
lapucelle
(21,052 posts)An investigation must always follow, and, even if it is determined that the allegation of abuse was "unfounded", the family still remains in the system for at least a number of months.
This type of "prank" threatens a family at its very core.
cwydro
(51,308 posts)Or did he cower in his apartment since he had lied about being there ?
Interesting he didnt follow up on that.
kag
(4,197 posts)Wow. I know there must be a way for people to report suspected child-abuse/neglect, but there has to be a better way.
Cha
(318,866 posts)before his daughter was going to perform. What a nightmare
Mc Mike
(9,260 posts)An attack on him and his whole family.
woundedkarma
(498 posts)I'm not sure why we haven't seen a ton more of these. I think people without kids are just unaware of the way it works. hell, people WITH kids are unaware of the way it works until it happens to them.
Mc Mike
(9,260 posts)Or their socks should get sued off.
Some anonymous dweeb saying 'I have intimate knowledge that child abuse is occurring. I just wandered in off the street.', and the authorities spring into action.
I don't have an apartment building doorman, but if they came to my door like that, that's exactly what I'd say to them.
lapucelle
(21,052 posts)The promise of anonymity is made in the interest of encouraging people to call. In other words, it is made in the best interest of protecting potentially abused, endangered, or neglected children.
In many jurisdictions, "mandated" reporters are under an affirmative legal duty to report ANY suspicion of child abuse or endangerment. In my area, this group includes healthcare and medical personnel, teachers and school personnel, police and firefighters.
Mc Mike
(9,260 posts)Ms. Toad
(38,598 posts)Can you imagine the violence that would be visited on a battered woman if she reported when her partner started beating their children, and the partner learned who reported the incident? Or on the children if they anonymously reported their own abuse?
If someone is truly abusing their children, they would likely also react violently against whoever reported the abuse, so the reporting has to permit anonymous reports in order to make it safe to report at all.
Mc Mike
(9,260 posts)Here, Mr and Ms King are both saying the same thing, so it isn't the wife and kids fleeing a bad spouse. And if people can just lodge an anonymous complaint, what's to stop someone from just anonymously calling in, having got the basic info about the kids and their ages, and making a completely false story up?
And what gets me is how many times we hear that a woman flees with her kids, gets a PFA restraining order, and it is ignored and not enforced, with tragic results for the women. But suddenly, the system 'is working like it should', resulting in a Women's rights issue being used against a Civil rights activist.
There are good people working in the system, who have the best interests of the kids at heart, I don't doubt. But if all anonymous claims without even the slightest bit of evidence get turned into an enforcement action, then the system itself is ripe for abuse. While a lot of people won't get the help and protection they need, some other bad people can make false claims and weaponize the system to vex and threaten innocent people they don't like.
Ms. Toad
(38,598 posts)Which necessarily involves interviewing rhe kids. It only becomes an enforcement actiom after the anonous tip is confirmed by the subsequent investigation.
And, playing devil's advocate - Don:t you think an abused spouse who secretly called child protective services to save her children would publically side with her husband, to keep him from turning his anger on her?
Mc Mike
(9,260 posts)It already is an enforcement action, the children and family authority is threatening to escalate the enforcement action.
I don't disbelieve a person who claims they have been victimized by a spouse, or their kids have, but that's quite a leap to make, devil's advocate wise. Mr. King is innocent until proven guilty, it looks more like a swatting style incident, unless the anonymous accuser gets involved in publicly pushing a case against him.
My wife and I donate to our Womens' Center and Shelter, which helps abused families get away from abusers. Abuse occurs, and the victims should be safe and able to report it, but so often they don't get any help or action. Here, though, where it can be turned into a Civil Rights vs Womens' or Victims' Rights issue, we're getting action.
bigbrother05
(5,995 posts)He might get some sympathy, but smiling through gritted teeth is often the only option for regular folks.
Mc Mike
(9,260 posts)I see all those zeroes who feel empowered by their white skin tRump badge to 'enforce the law', and actually call in armed law enforcement.
I also know that the best thing to do about and with law enforcement is to take an non antagonistic stance, comply, cooperate, etc. Know that so many people raising young Black Brown Red (even yellow and white) people tell them this, to save their lives.
Someone comes to my door and tells me they suddenly have power over my kids, they Better bring the cops, and an arrest warrant. I'd say 'let's see your children and youth i.d., stay right there, I'm phoning the police'.
Mr. King should take the fight to them, take a civil liberties lawyer and some indy media right down to the child authority's offices.
samnsara
(18,767 posts)..vet dad. The are both vengeful because after mom passed in the spring they were too emotionally neutered to deal with dad..alone (an hr away from any family)..aging.... demented and Parkinson's. I took out a loan and bought him a house closer to his family. Now they do this....saying I 'took over' and im not 'transparent'.
Today I meet with AdultProtectiveServices at my lawyers office. There should be some kind of recourse for this kind of shit.
I hope Shaun settles this soon. I know Im a wreck and its not even my kids being threatened.
on another note..using services to report someone has been going on for ages. I traced my ancestry back quite a bit and during the real with hunts of the 1600's two of my ancestors ..married to brothers...turned each other into the witch hunters! Both filed bogus claims of cows not milking etc. Both were let go. Apparently....thankfully....they weren't very convincing.
HipChick
(25,612 posts)suffering with dementia, however she is only trying to gain financial aspects....I am sick to my stomach....I have been helping parents for several years, as my father started to decline, my mother is caregiver. My sister is a narcissistic like Trump, lies her ass off all the time..and creates her own reality
Blue_true
(31,261 posts)marble falls
(71,872 posts)died after my uncles raising the same issues your sisters did after my grandparent passed and then cutting her off for her last 15 years.
My grandparents lived in my parents home from the late seventies until (my grandfather passed in the mid-eighties with Alzheimers) and my grandmother in 2002. My mom passed in 2016. My uncles never came to visit my grandparents and after my grandmother died they accused my mother of stealing their "inheritance".
I wouldn't wish what you're dealing with on anyone.
Afromania
(2,809 posts)calls.
Jake Stern
(3,146 posts)It keeps a vengeful parent from finding out who reported and harming or even killing them.
A caring neighbor might be reluctant to make a report about the buckle shaped bruise and welts on a child if they think their name will get out and they could be targeted.
Afromania
(2,809 posts)Used as a way attack others. While its not "garbage" I've been a 3rd party to a situation where ACS was used as sledge hammer in exactly the way it was in the op. It was used broad spectrum against not just the intended victim but immediate and secondary relations as well. The system isn't' garbage but there needs to be more discretion in how it's handled sometimes.
oberliner
(58,724 posts)They are required by law to do this. Do we want child services to not investigate reports?
Anonymous reporting to child welfare services ends up potentially saving numerous children. Not allowing anonymous reporters could potentially place honest reporters in danger.
barbtries
(31,301 posts)is also investigating false reports. i'm pretty sure it's criminal.
woundedkarma
(498 posts)After all, if people are afraid of reprisal for calling in order to save children then they might not call.
oberliner
(58,724 posts)woundedkarma
(498 posts)Ever hear of it getting prosecuted? I imagine that's really rare.
oberliner
(58,724 posts)But maybe with Shaun King having such a high profile, this would be different.
woundedkarma
(498 posts)People are allowed to call child protective services, make up whatever the heck they want and you are screwed. Unless you have a lot of money laying around to hire a lawyer.
All you can do is suck it up and let them do their thing.
woundedkarma
(498 posts)If you've never had to deal with child protective services you wouldn't understand just how terrible the system is. Anyone can make a call on you at any time and claim anything they want.
Then the burden of proof that it's false is on you.
There are children out there who are in danger. We need to protect and save them when necessary. That's what CPS is for. The problem, obviously, is when there's a false call or an overblown one.
When CPS (or whatever your state's version is) is called, there needs to be protection for the family FROM CPS. There really needs to be two people for every situation. An advocate for the family and the usual CPS worker. My mother-in-law worked for a non-profit that did exactly that. And while the CPS workers worked with her, I don't think she had any kind of legal standing. She was there to give advice on how to get back on your feet to get your kids back and offer some services toward that end.
But that needs to change. People who've been reported should be entitled to a lawyer free of charge along with an advocate.
tblue37
(68,423 posts)genuinely at risk children fall through he cracks. False reports strain an already overburdened system. There is no way the system would be funded to provide help to parents under investigation. It isn't even funded enough to really protect and follow through for children.
woundedkarma
(498 posts)This is another system that needs to be adequately funded and staffed.
tblue37
(68,423 posts)donors persuading politicians to fund services meant to help them, so funding will always be inadequate.
Deb
(3,744 posts)Real investigators follow protocol. She should have identified herself correctly with an official ID and stated her purpose for the visit. I doubt NYC regulations vary so sharply from other upstate offices. Where was law enforcement backup if she thought those children were in imminent danger and needed removal? Yeah.. no.
woundedkarma
(498 posts)This was clearly a game of telephone.
The worker talked to the doorman, the doorman called Shaun, Shaun tweeted. At any point in there, the information could have easily been garbled or miscommunicated.
It sounds like it was a real CPS incident and they need to work with child services to solve it.
oberliner
(58,724 posts)Or relayed the info incorrectly?
kcr
(15,522 posts)On the off chance this is real, if he ignores it, he's inviting a whole heap of trouble. And if it's some nut harassing him he should file a complaint about that.
erpowers
(9,445 posts)He should just let them interview the kids. Letting the kids be interviewed will likely allow this thing to blow over. However, New York Child Services (ACS) should stop allowing people to make anonymous reports, or ACS do more research after anonymous reports are issued regarding families.
oberliner
(58,724 posts)Ms. Toad
(38,598 posts)Anonymous reports are necessary - if identification is required, people will stop making reports of abuse because of the fear that the accused will obtain their name by FOIA, or some other means, and take out their anger on the accuser.
Catherine Vincent
(34,610 posts)This is so sad how people can be so evil and vindictive.
cutroot
(1,026 posts)WillowTree
(5,350 posts)cutroot
(1,026 posts)It is called "Undue use of process" The authorities are not bound to tell you who complained because they fear repercussions might be inevitable. But you cannot file a complaint without giving ID. They might get away with it once, but you can always discover who they are.
oberliner
(58,724 posts)WillowTree
(5,350 posts)'Cause whomever it was didn't know what s/he was talking about. Anonymous means anonymous. And in these situations, it's that way in many, if not most places.
cutroot
(1,026 posts)The proprietors of this site have every ones email address and this place has been hacked. I am sure that he data has been traded, and someone somewhere knows what you like to drink and even what size shoe you wear by now.
If one of my neighbors complains about my dog or even my garbage cans, there is a record and I can retrieve it. For the proper fees of course.
I am surprised that someone here would attempt to defend such a hideous act by someone. "Many if not most" doesn't mean all.
My original question was an attempt to find a possible remedy for such a despicable behavior. I do not know if that is possible in this particular case.
I do not know. You apparently don't either.
WillowTree
(5,350 posts)Ms. Toad
(38,598 posts)Last edited Thu Aug 2, 2018, 04:36 PM - Edit history (1)
for the safety of people who report child abuse. If the name of the accuser is disclosed to an actual abuser, it is likely that someone who is abusing children would turn their wrath on the accuser.
Freethinker65
(11,203 posts)to my home. The calls were about my mini dachshund, primarily kept indoors with me, while I was a stay at home mom. The police always sheepishly apologized for the inquiries but explained they were required to follow up on all reports. It was a complete waste of time for the police and myself as they would ask questions and take notes.
I finally had enough when I was visited by the police and my dog was not even there (my parents were taking care of him in a different state!). I said I was sick of the harassment and wanted to enjoy my summer and if I was a bad neighbor and had complaints against me from multiple neighbors, perhaps I was to blame, but if all the complaints were from the same individual that person was harassing me and I wanted it to stop. It was suggested I file a FOIA request.
I went and filed it and received a call within a few weeks (or possibly days?) that while they would not give me a name or confirm it was only one individual doing the complaining, I was told to "enjoy my summer". No more police visits (complaints) after that.
The public servants (police) were just doing their jobs. I never had a problem with them.
cutroot
(1,026 posts)Technically you should have gotten the persons name, but it sounds like someone intervened on your behalf. I have found that you have to be relentless when dealing with some of these issues. It is time consuming and frustrating and the people that caused the problem only had to make a single phone call. If nothing else the police have now identified the perpetrator as a trouble maker and they will no longer consider his complaints to have any integrity.
calimary
(89,950 posts)demmiblue
(39,685 posts)What I havent accepted, and will never accept though, is the unnecessary toll such work has taken on our family. When we are out in the world living our lives, people are mostly good and kind. They say hello, thank him for his work, ask for a selfie, and then carry on about their business. But every so often people are ugly and cruel. Today has been an example of such a day. That someone would knowingly call in a vicious, outlandish, false report of abandonment, neglect, and abuse concerning our children is completely unconscionable! As a former teacher with the NYCDOE, I am aware that there are too many children in this community who are in actual need of intervention. That some white supremacist or disgruntled person would waste the citys limited resources to randomly call in false information that severely puts my family in harms way, and drive workers away from their important work, truly baffles me. We live in a sick and depraved world.
While I choose not to even dignify the lies by explaining why they are so incredibly false, I will say that my children are a visible and active part of the community in which we live. They have teachers, camp counselors, church youth group leaders, parents of friends, etc. who are a part of their daily lives. There are literally dozens of people who have first-hand knowledge of my childrens well-being. So while I am not concerned about the merits of such foolishness, I am concerned about how the situation arose, and how it was handled by ACS officials.
I have been a teacher for nearly 16 years, across several different states, and countries. I have been a mandated reporter for all of my adult life, and have sadly had to report signs of neglect and abuse in my role as an educator. I have cried as I watched my 6 year-old student ride with police to the police station to give statements about abuse he was suffering at home. I was filled with anxiety as I reported about a foster child being sent to school wearing shorts and no coat in 30 degree weather. So I respect the people who do this very difficult work, and would never want to do anything to undermine the systems our government has in place to protect vulnerable children. However, there must be action taken when the system is abused and resources are wasted.
https://medium.com/@ShaunKing/a-public-statement-from-my-wife-rai-king-about-the-attacks-on-our-family-102ec0918bc8
oberliner
(58,724 posts)You would think a high-profile activist like Shaun King would not have waited until he personally was impacted to address this long-standing problem.
MissB
(16,344 posts)I dont find it odd that he hasnt taken up the cause until now.
oberliner
(58,724 posts)And his wife has been a teacher/mandated reporter for 15+ years.
I would think it would have been on his radar before now.
Ms. Toad
(38,598 posts)I am not saying that Shaun King is guilt of the accusations against him. But this response is the exact same response made by family members who are actually abusing their children and spouses - loudly, and to anyone who will listen.
It is why police and ACS workers must speak with the children separated from their parents - it creates the only possibility of obtaining the truth. That truth may exonerate him - or it may raise further suspicions. And even when separated, children and spouses may be reluctant to speak the truth - but at least the chances are better if the converstion is separate.
gratuitous
(82,849 posts)This was a targeted attack, designed to use the system against Shaun King.
There are excellent reasons for preserving the anonymity of people making complaints to children's services. The situations reported are often volatile, with about 80 skabillion details and nuances that make it risky to make a report. Some of these considerations are the instability of the people involved; the toxic relationship and environment built up over the years; the danger to the most vulnerable persons in the toxic environment; and so forth.
Now, someone has used that tool for getting the authorities involved in a dangerous situation as a means of getting revenge or inflicting damage on an activist. This has the chilling effect of discouraging other people from fighting against injustice, which is pretty bad. Even worse, though, is the possibility that the authorities will react to this abuse of the system by no longer allowing anonymous complaints. In some of these horrible situations, it takes the courage of the lion-hearted just to pick up the phone to think about registering a complaint. The possibility that your identity will get back to the abuser could be the deciding factor in someone thinking that it's just not worth the risk.
This was an evil act, not just against the King family, but against anyone victimized by or knowledgeable of an abusive situation.
oberliner
(58,724 posts)gratuitous
(82,849 posts)I'm not sure I understand the question. If you've been paying attention to, for example, the Larry Nassar situation at Michigan State, or the Richard Strauss situation at Ohio State, or the Jerry Sandusky situation at Penn State, it takes quite a bit of fortitude to report abuse, particularly against powerful men and powerful institutions. Bogus reports from behind the anonymity screen stack a difficult system even more against the victims.
oberliner
(58,724 posts)gratuitous
(82,849 posts)Because you seem awfully sure that King is lying.
oberliner
(58,724 posts)I was just asking how you knew that it was.
I don't have any reason to believe King is lying, but he could be making an erroneous assumption. It could have been a mixup/misunderstanding as opposed to a targeted attack. Or not. I don't see how it's possible to be sure at this point.
Unless there is more info that you have seen, that I haven't - which is why I was asking the question.
JustAnotherGen
(38,042 posts)Of the government stealing children from families - it's better to err on the side of caution. Mr. King publicizing this is a good start.
Heaven forbid the government get their hands on those children.