Trump walks into your house. Your first words are?

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

This is not my idea but I thought why not ask the question here.

Link to tweet

[Demovictory9]

1. Get out hatemonger

[FoxNewsSucks]

2. Fuck you,

you fucking fuck!

Get the fuck out!!

[DinahMoeHum]

3. Gah!!! Get The Fuck Outta Here!!!

[Doreen]

16. My very first thought.

[mindem]

29. Yep,

You took the words right out of my mouth.

[rzemanfl]

51. Exactly. n/t

[tblue37]

65. This, preceded by WTF! nt

[vlyons]

4. Wouldn't you be happier in a different job?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

5. Get your ugly orange ass out of here before I call the cops.

[BigmanPigman]

6. "What the He'll are you doing here traitor.

Fang ATTACK!".

[moriah]

7. Since the only way he'd be coming through my front door would be breaking in...

... detailing exactly what I might say, do, or shout to another person in the home might break DU guidelines and/or get undesirable secret service attention.

Fortunately it'll never happen.

[Kablooie]

8. Kiss me you fool!

Then I turn around and drop my pants.

[MaryMagdaline]

9. GTFO

[Glamrock]

10. you're trespassing!

I'm in fear for my life. I'm standing my ground!

Shit, I don't even own a gun. But one can dream, yeah?

[Niagara]

11. Sorry, this went bad fairly quickly so you'll have to fill in the blanks

_ _ _ _ _ _

_ _

_ _ _

_ _ _ _

He's an intruder and we have castle doctrine in N.Y.

[nini]

12. Never mind

It aint worth it. Lol

[RockRaven]

13. I'd want him GONE, so I'd prey on his hang-ups: "I HAVE AIDS AND I'M BLEEDING!!!"

Hopefully I'd be holding some ketchup, strawberry jam, or red wine to throw or splash around for startling effect. He is a flinch-prone coward after all...

Look, it's an absolutely sh*tty, discriminatory, rooted-in-bigotry sentiment that he has regarding HIV/AIDS (and also any visible blood), and I'd probably be really ashamed about having exploited it (insofar as any exploitation of it could become a reinforcement of it).

But Trump DOES HAVE this fear/hang-up, and I want nothing to do with him on a interpersonal level. I mean that literally.

I do not want to EVER be in the same place as him. I never want either of us to ever lay eyes upon the other. If it so happened that we were in the same place at the same time, my deepest desire would be for that confluence of space-time parameters to become divergent as quickly as possible. And I would exploit any mote of knowledge about him I had in my possession to effect this outcome.

[TlalocW]

14. Let me shake your hand

And then I would hold his hand in an iron grip and not let go until I said everything I had wanted to. The first time he tried to interrupt would be his last attempt as he would be on his knees after I kicked him in the balls.

TlalocW

[CottonBear]

15. Tick Tock, Motherfucker. N/T

[kysrsoze]

17. GTFO, fuckface.

[scarletlib]

40. ditto

[Cha]

18. GFY

[Awsi Dooger]

19. "Welcome to 5th Avenue"

I don't see how I could be prosecuted

[sakabatou]

20. GTFO

[mr_lebowski]

21. Does Kiai (気合, /ˈkiːaɪ/) count as words?

[Lint Head]

22. Kiss my ass you racist fuck!

[ProudMNDemocrat]

23. "You'refired, Motherfucker!

[John Fante]

24. Get the fuck out, fuckhead.

[gopiscrap]

25. Get the fuck out and while you're at

keel over dead so I piss on your rotting corpse

[Midnight Writer]

26. "Guard your pussy, Martha!"

[malaise]

38. You win the thread.

[fleabiscuit]

27. Honey, hold my beer.

[LuckyCharms]

28. Hello, 911? Send the police...giant angry creamsicle...hurry please...

[Jamaal510]

30. I'd lie that

my house has no Internet so that he can't use Twitter.

[Sedona]

31. You have the right to remain silent...

[Yonnie3]

32. Someone forgot to flush.

Perhaps preceded by what's that smell?

[dembotoz]

34. That I was afraid for my life...too bad I don't own a gun

So a very empty threat. ..

[ornotna]

35. Uninvited?

Here in Florida we do have this law that everyone is talking about.

[Funtatlaguy]

36. Can I see the prez micropenis?

[malaise]

37. Sic him

(to the Well trained dog).

[Sancho]

39. привет

[GoCubsGo]

41. Get the fuck off of my property. You are not welcome here.

If he refuses to leave, the I call the police and report an unwanted intruder.

[Takket]

42. "I'm about to stand my ground"

[Va Lefty]

60. Winner

[NCTraveler]

43. I live in Florida. I don't need to say anything.

He breached the front door of my castle.

[mainstreetonce]

44. Hi there y'all

Would you like a piiece piece of pie?

[mnmoderatedem]

45. "Get out" after I pay him for the pizza

[Still In Wisconsin]

54. Yeah, but only pay 35% of what you actually owe.

That's what he does to contractors, so...

[zeusdogmom]

46. I'd open the door and let Zeus Dog do the greeting

Since Zeus wants to jump up and give everyone coming to the door dog kisses, I'd just let Zeus do his thing. I understand Trumpie is a germophobe so a few licks of a a big ol' dog tongue should do the trick. And you know where that tongue has been ....😄.

Of course after licking Trump's nasty orange face, I'd have to treat Zeus with some type of cleaner. How would one get Trump stink off a dog???

[FoxNewsSucks]

48. This dog has your answer

[zeusdogmom]

50. Love it!!!

[sinkingfeeling]

47. Go to hell, traitor.

[Squinch]

49. Drink this. You'll love it.

[Initech]

52. Get the fuck out!

[janterry]

53. OMG, Zeus, no!!!

We have a really large dog. And I'm afraid someone walking in would just set his whole protective thing off.

OTOH, he would make light work of Trump

[2naSalit]

55. I'd get banned for

posting it here.

[better]

56. You know...

you done fucked up, right?

[tavernier]

57. You've got to ask yourself one question:

‘Do I feel lucky?' Well do ya, punk?

(The old timers will remember this one)

[peekaloo]

58. Dinner's ready! Then point him to the litter box.

[get the red out]

59. BITE HIM DOGS!

They've had all their shots, they wouldn't catch anything.

[LakeSuperiorView]

61. I at some level like "Castle Law, Motherfucker!!!" but my firearms are safely stored...

So not much use against a surprise intruder. I definitely feel threatened by him, but think I would have a tough time convincing a jury that I feared bodily harm from that decrepit tub of goo.

I guess I would see how high I could make him bounce on my front lawn.

[HipChick]

62. Naff off...

[MineralMan]

63. Get Out of My House, Asshole! Now!

[Dave Starsky]

64. Honey, where did you put the roach spray?

[ChoppinBroccoli]

66. Technically, The White House IS Our House