My sister has elected to stop cancer treatment

[demtenjeep]

who has colon cancer. She had surgery which removed some of her colon and had a round of chemo. They did a PET scan and it wasn't gone and in fact spread to her bones had a 2nd round which was much harsher. She lost her hair and her will. Did another scan, cancer is still there. They wanted to do radiation but my sister has elected to stop treatment.

This is the same sister that lost her home to a tornado.

Life just fucking sucks.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

1. I'm sorry. ((Hugs))

[applegrove]

2. Vibes.

[iamateacher]

3. I am so sorry

She is a brave woman.

[zipplewrath]

4. I'm sorry

I can't imagine a second round of harsher chemo.
I hope they can give her some relief for her pains going forward.

[demtenjeep]

45. she was much sicker and lost most of what hair she had left including any regrowth

she had to go to the hospital 4 times because she was so dehydrated from being so sick.

She said the first time was a breeze compared to the last go -round

[zipplewrath]

66. Compared to...

I had the minor leagues of chemo. And by the last month I emotionally was dreading just being there. You know what's coming. I saw people in that room that went through vastly worse than me. I could never understand how they could drag themselves there knowing what was coming.

But this isn't about me. She has suffered and "lost". That's hard, can make one feel frustrated, and even make one feel foolish for having tried. I'd hope you'd relate that I admire and respect what she did. I am amazed at who she is. And I know the strength it takes to make the decision she did. I truly hope they can make whatever time she has left (hopefully alot) as comfortable as they can possible achieve.

[tenderfoot]

5. I am so sorry

[BigDemVoter]

6. I am so sorry to read this and am sorry you and your sister are

having to go through it. . . I know it is awful. I cannot fathom how difficult it must be.

[Moostache]

7. My sincerest condolences on all you are dealing with...

There are never the right words in these situations.

[spanone]

8. ☮️☯︎

[MiniMe]

9. I'm so sorry

Lost my mom to colon cancer 5 years ago. She hung tough for a while, but she too decided to stop treatment. Actually, after the surgery and the chemo, they thought they got it all. But it came back with a vengeance, and she decided not to do the chemo again.

[helpisontheway]

10. I'm so sorry..((((Hugs))) nt

[demtenjeep]

11. There are 4 of us girls along with 2 boys. We girls took a sister trip to Branson this weekend

We saw some shows and took a LOT of pictures. The sister with cancer complained that she hated taking pictures because of her lost hair but we told her that the head cover made her look cute.

We went to a small town opry and even got to sing some songs as a quartet.

We made the best out of the weekend.

[blaze]

19. Sounds like a good team.

I'm glad you have each other.

[demtenjeep]

25. we have always been close

we have taken many sister trips.

I always wanted us to take a 4 day 3 night cruise and was saving up for that before I got sicker a couple years ago.

I had to use my savings because I was off work for 4 months.

I always thought I would be the first sibling to die because of the stupid crohn's.

[IADEMO2004]

50. My wifes sisters, our sons,and family were her best medicine.

Radiation and chemo gave her more time to be together.

Peace to You your sister and family.

[TexasBushwhacker]

74. Just because it isn't the best of times

Doesn't mean you can't make the best of them.

[Srkdqltr]

12. So sorry

Hugs to y you all. My heart goes out to your sister, you and your family.

[oasis]

13. Hopefully the love of family members will be a great comfort.

[kstewart33]

14. It does suck.

My mom suffered through the same situation. She decided to have home hospice care, and the staff was wonderful.

She had no pain in her final weeks, and passed peacefully.

I hope that your sister can have the same and passes at home surrounded by her loved ones.

[sinkingfeeling]

15. Very sorry. She is entitled to her choice. And very brave.

[smirkymonkey]

16. I am so sorry to hear about your sister demtenjeep.

I wish you and your family all the best through this difficult time in your lives.

[babylonsister]

17. Awww, that does suck.

I have a sister going through chemo now for stage 3 breast cancer to be followed by radiation. The treatment is brutal. My thoughts are with you all.

[bluestarone]

18. So sorry

Gotta be very difficult.

[Croney]

20. I'm sorry. My sister died of colon cancer in 2011.

She was only 59. She had a very aggressive surgery called HIPEC but it was only partially successful, and had many rounds of chemo. I still get the urge to pick up the phone and call her sometimes. You have my sympathy.

Like you, we were four sisters. Now we are three, and one is a breast cancer survivor. I'm the oldest and don't want to lose another one.

[MyNameIsKhan]

21. Very sorry !

[Delphinus]

22. Oh,

I am sorry. {{hugs}} to all - this had to have been a hard choice to make.

[yardwork]

23. I'm very sorry.

[handmade34]

24. ....

[grantcart]

27. +1

[Phoenix61]

26. I'm so sorry

Life does truly suck sometimes.

[Different Drummer]

28. Very sorry, demtenjeep.

[Ilsa]

29. I am so sorry.

I hope her condition can be managed so that she spend her last days doing what she wants.

[OldManTarHeel]

30. I Am Heartbroken for Your Sister . .

Please let her know that she is loved.

[BigmanPigman]

31. How is her quality of life if she stops all treatment?

Is she looking into other treatment options or has she decided against all?

[demtenjeep]

32. I told her I wished I could take her place since I already have Crohn's

she told me not to talk like that-that I am the only sibling to get a Master's degree and in her eyes I "made it"

she is very at peace with her decision and believes Heaven will be a much better place. She has struggled with financial issues and an asshole husband for 46 years.

Our parents are deceased, daddy for 22 years and mom for 4. She is ready to be with them.

If it were not for her 4 sons and 1 grandson, I believe she would have never had the surgery and chemo to begin with.

[flotsam]

78. I've done this with a brother

and in the end the only thing that counted, the only thing they can take with them is the love of us who are left behind have given to them. You have my condolences and prayers.

[irisblue]

33. I am so so sorry

[Solly Mack]

34. I'm so sorry, demtenjeep

Cancer sucks.


I say that as a survivor - as a way of letting people know I was not being flippant. I know treatment can defeat the will. Especially when the cancer doesn't go away. It becomes a case of quality of life - living with cancer or living with the effects of treatment for cancer. It sucks all the way around.

[nolabear]

35. I am terribly sorry. I hope she can live her days surrounded by love.

And I hope you find some peace too.

[TheBlackAdder]

36. Sometimes it does, and this is no exception.

.

Like the others, I am sorry to hear this.

From personal experience, while some might advise to stay strong, it's a tough burden that masks true feelings.
It helps to avoid the pain of the discussion, but there may come a time when it's best to let the emotions flow.

I find it helps to build a stronger emotional connection that lasts forever.



.

[MineralMan]

37. I'm so sorry.

She will need your support.

[Cha]

38. ******

So Sorry, demtenjeep

[keithbvadu2]

39. There comes a point where further treatment can be worse than the problem and give false hope.

There comes a point where further treatment can be worse than the problem and give false hope.

It takes courage to stop treatment too.

[demtenjeep]

48. I believe that is where she is at

she says she wishes she had never found out and would have just let life take its course.

If it wasn't for her sons and grandsons I believe she would have already given up

[krakfiend]

40. Sorry to hear about her diagnosis

I hope the best for her, and for you

[rurallib]

41. so sorry

may you all enjoy what time she has left.

[malaise]

42. I feel,it for her and

for you.

[TNNurse]

43. I am so sorry.

She has decided she has all she can take. At one point I thought one more dose of chemo might kill me. I took it but I believe I would not go through that over and over. Just love her and be there for her. Again, I am so very sorry for both of you. And yes, life does suck.

[luvtheGWN]

91. As a 10-year breast cancer survivor, I can agree that cancer sucks!

Chemo is (to use the kindest word) debilitating but I did learn one important thing that I pass along to other patients: To avoid the vomiting that so many people associate with chemo, you absolutely MUST take those pills (Zofran, Stemitil or whatever is prescribed) BEFORE you start to feel nauseous. Those pills depress the vagus nerve. Through 6 rounds, I never threw up once, although I had the neuropathy, the mouth thrush, the weak nails and the hair loss. And most of all, the exhaustion!

I do think that the other big, and maybe largely unrecognized, problem is depression. It seems that you have no control over your body and it becomes the enemy that your brain is fighting with. That makes "giving up" or "giving in" to the cancer more understandable. We own our bodies, and as much as our doctors and our families never want us to "give in", it's our choice alone.

[hibbing]

44. How horrible

I wish you and your family finds some comfort at some point.

Peace

[Hortensis]

46. I'm so sorry, Demtenjeep.

Your sister sounds like a lovely and wise person. I hope you at least are able to spend some more special time together just being sisters.

[demtenjeep]

54. She is the most kind-hearted person I know. She practically raised me

She is like 12 years older than I and our mother was in the hospital a lot when I was younger because she had blood clots.

My sister stayed home from school to take care of me I believe she was 11 or 12. The School called our home and said they would report her as a young single mother (this was in late 60's) if she wasn't back in school.

I always wanted to be with her -until she married her asshole molester husband.

[samir.g]

47. I'm so sorry.

[demtenjeep]

49. thank you for all your words of comfort

It is comforting to have a venue to lean on

[mvd]

51. Very sorry to hear this

I can relate. My dad also has colon cancer and decided the treatments are worse than the cancer. It is so heartbreaking when loved ones make this decision. Many hugs to you.

[demtenjeep]

57. I am so sorry about your dad

hugs to you as well.

[mvd]

77. Thanks!

He has been battling it for 5 years, but this awful disease often persists when it is stage 4. And he just couldn't stand any of the treatments. I have hope for some natural treatment to try, even if a long shot. I guess we both can always have hope. I send you my thoughts in your difficult time.

[Vinca]

52. That's so sad, but I suppose any of us would make the same choice.

It must be really hard for you and your family. Life isn't fair.

[benld74]

53. So sorry man. Yeah life sucks.

Hang in there

[gademocrat7]

55. So very sorry.

[Ohiogal]

56. I'm so sorry!

Life just flat out sucks sometimes.

I wish you all enough strength to get through this horrible ordeal.

[uponit7771]

58. Sorry to hear this

[osmium]

59. I'm sending stuff..

I know I have an abymally low post count for a member of over 10 years, but I read a lot here..just not a regular poster.

You're right. Life does just fucking suck at times. But it all that we can truly know; so life's end - which is where we are all going to end up - is a natural process, yet the most arduous thing any of us will face.

I'm sending psychic power to aid all of you and yours during this most trying of times.

I hope that you find the strength that is within you to get you through this arduous time. Words fail, but in this medium...well, they're the only things that can be transmitted.

^^^That is likely why I am such a rare poster. I am terrible at consoling others, and have little else to warrant typing.

Godspeed to you and yours, demten.

[still_one]

60. So sorry what your sister, you, and your family are going through demtenjeep

[Demsrule86]

61. I am so sorry. I wish peace to you and yours.

[pazzyanne]

62. Hugs sent to you, your sister and family!

Words fail at times like this. It is such a powerless feeling when you cannot change the awful things that are happening to you and your loved ones. Last year was such a year for me, and it sucked! Just know that many of us understand. Stay strong!

[YOHABLO]

63. My heart goes out to your sister and you.

[hunter]

64. Often the most courageous things to do is say "Enough!"

I don't think the "fighting cancer" analogy is a good one.

One of my grandmothers fought cancer to the bitter end and died incoherent in hospital, a horrible way to go.

Best argue with cancer, debate with cancer, throw your science at cancer, but never let it claim you, never let it deny you the great privilege that too few in this life on earth enjoy, of saying a proper good-bye to those you love.

[csziggy]

65. So sorry to hear this

Make her time as enjoyable as possible. Maybe find pictures from your childhood, bring back happy memories. Spend as much time with her as you can. Hug a lot.

[mcar]

67. So sorry

[LoisB]

68. I am so sorry. Much respect for your sister.

[cate94]

69. I'm sorry. N/t

[onecaliberal]

70. I am so sorry.

May you all find peace.

[SharonAnn]

71. My husband did the same after 2 rounds of chemo for colon cancer. He had a type that is resistant

My husband did the same after 2 rounds of chemo for colon cancer. He had a type that doesn't respond to the chemo available. I think it is a mutation of the BRAF gene.

The second round was horrible and the cancer continued. He decided that since it couldn't be stopped or even slowed down much, that it was better to prepare for things while he was still able to do so. I told him I would support whatever decision he made but that I loved him and I would be OK. It was so hard and he had suffered so much. Brings tears to my eyes just thinking of it.

[vlyons]

72. I'm so sorry that your family will see her pass

I work with death and dying. The most important thing that you and your family can do is to maintain a calm, peaceful, and loving attitude and environment around her. Help make her comfortable as much as possible.

We are all going to die, and the only thing that we take with us on the way out is our mind. I say this prayer as part of my meditation practice.

When all appearances of this life dissolve,
May I with ease and great happiness
Let go of all attachments to this life.
Like a child returning home.

[NastyRiffraff]

73. Oh god, I'm so sorry

It's terrible watching someone you love in pain. Hugs to you and her.

[Xolodno]

75. Nothing I say will console you...

...Lost a grandfather on my mom's side due to liver cancer, he never drank and was a vegetarian. Pretty sure his job for many years had something to do with it.

...Lost a grandmother from my father's side, esophagus cancer. Not a smoker, be she visited in Las Vegas often where people who didn't smoke like her, were a rarity.

...Lost my Father, a non smoker to Lung Cancer. We're pretty sure it was due to his work. A Roofing Contractor. He didn't take precautions when ripping up flashings which obviously were glued down by stuff made of asbestos. I called the family business a curse, sadly I've been proved more right than wrong. Won't go into details of the family who carry it on, despite the fact I was "chosen" to run it and refused.

Wished my father realized it was over. I arranged a trip to Walt Disney World, with plenty of room for us all. He elected not to go, thinking he would "beat this".

In the end, due to a trust, had to give the "ok" not to resuscitate. Not like it would change the end anyway.

With that said, if I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Cancer, probably would fight it. But today, if it was Stage 4, its over. I would to experience much of my life as possible.

[dewsgirl]

76. Im so sorry.

[Meowmee]

79. So sorry😿

Hugs to you all

[susanna]

80. I am so very sorry.

[vercetti2021]

81. I'm so sorry

I lost both my grandparents to cancer.

My grandfather had brain cancer, but after numerous radiation treatmemts, it spread due to a bad diagnosis. He did one round of chemo and that was it. His state was so bad it spread and he didn't have enough white blood cells to fight it.


My grandmother had lung issues mainly from smoking. Eventually she developed a tumor in her brain and it caused her to have a cardiac arrest.

Both were smokers.

[sprinkleeninow]

82. Only 🕯...

[Progressive Jones]

83. I'm very sorry for you and your family. Yes, life sucks most of the time.

[diva77]

84. I'm so very sorry.

[Raine]

85. I'm so sorry

My aunt had colon cancer and stopped treatment. It's hard when we want them to do or try anything just to keep them with us longer, my thoughts are with you.

[CousinIT]

86. I am so sorry. Sometimes "life" seems more a curse than a gift.

But - cherish her while you can and hold your memories dear. Those gifts, unlike life itself, are indelible.

[geardaddy]

87. I'm so sorry.

Sending good vibes to you both.

[Proud Liberal Dem]

88. Sorry

You have my condolences

[Scarsdale]

89. So very sorry.

After losing her home, you would think she deserved some respite from suffering. Why is it that some people have to suffer so much, and others merrily roll along (like tRump) never seeing adversity? It seems the really decent people have to suffer, and the useless ones just keep going. One of my aunts lost her home (three times) in the WW11 bombing in Liverpool, England. Three times their homes were destroyed. She cleaned office buildings and struggled along with her husband, to raise 3 boys. At 46 she died of cancer. I always wondered if all the stress had caused it. I hope your sister gets all the help she needs, battling this.

[lunatica]

90. Hugs to all your family

This is heartbreaking. Your sister has been very brave. Choosing to stop the treatment is also brave.

[Iggo]

92. Yeesh.

Cancer sucks.

[displacedtexan]

93. I just lost my brother a couple of months ago.

Nonalcoholic liver cancer. He, too, chose hospice instead of more treatment.

So sorry about your sister. Just know that we are all thinking of you!

[democrank]

94. So sorry, demtenjeep.

Sending hugs~

[hostalover]

95. Many, many good wishes for all of you. Life is just so hard sometimes.

[barbtries]

96. I'm so sorry

why one person should have so much to contend with is inexplicable.

[KPN]

97. I'm so very sorry to hear this. I just lost my sister last week

to breast cancer following a courageous 18 year battle. Cancer sucks! My heart goes out to you and your sister.

[Grins]

98. My sister. Same cancer. Killed her, too.

And my seeing that? "Not me!" Stop the treatments and let me die. If I get close to that, I'm heading to Canada, Oregon, or other state that left you dies with dignity - and a big dose of Seconal!

I completely agree and understand your sister's decision

[lillypaddle]

99. Damn

I am so very sorry.

[Heartstrings]

100. So sorry....

and yes, life just fucking sucks! Hug your sister as often as you can.....

[Fla Dem]

101. Peace to you and your family. It sounds like your sister has already made her peace.

So glad you have a tight knit family. There's nothing like family to support one another in a terrible situation like this.

[flying_wahini]

102. Yes, life does suck but it's better than being dead.

My sister found out about 6 months ago that her breast cancer has returned after 7 years of being clear of it. She had multiple surgeries for breast cancer about 8 years ago and had a round of radiation but no chemo at that time.

It was found in a 'teardrop of breast tissue' that apparently escaped the first time
under her armpit. It has now spread to her lymphatic system and she is classified as stage 4
Mets breast cancer.
She elected to do no further treatment and is eating 'clean' full vegan. She looks better than she has in years, lost an extra 20 lbs she has been carrying around for years. She says she is pain free and not having any symptoms of her cancer. We all know that it will take her eventually and give her our full support in her choice to forgo treatment. Her Dr.'s had recommended a full blast of the typical chemo and radiation but she just didn't want to spend all her time left in the hospital.
I should also mention that she lives in Canada and she has yet to pay for any of her care, treatments, surgeries and other office visits. Not one penny over the last 10 years. She is not a citizen but a permanent resident.

So give your sister a big hug and love her with all your heart. That's what I am doing.

[ZeroSomeBrains]

103. Life really isn't fair

[Blue_playwright]

104. I'm so sorry

Life does suck.

[Hekate]

105. I'm so very sorry, demtenjeep. Hugs and peace to you all...

[Cheviteau]

106. This Saddens Me.

My sister who is two years younger than me (she's 77) just learned she has terminal liver cancer. She's a retired RN and elected to not start treatment. It's tough to watch your siblings go. The best we can hope for is that they not suffer too much. Hang in there and be supportive, as I know you will. God Bless.

[marble falls]

107. I understand her decision. Its a question I ask myself before any new treatment ...

but my concerns are also for you: I wish you find your healing over this tough, tough decision she's come to on her own.

[Honeycombe8]

108. Oh, no. Life does just fucking suck for some.

It's not fair. I'm so sorry.

[yokbizzi]

109. Blessing for her.

May she only have the sweetest of sleeps from now on and may her days shine brilliant with love everlasting until that day she is welcomed into her heavenly home. May God bless all of you throughout this journey. Peace to all who surround her in love.