I'm Sitting Here Trying to Imagine Trump's Funeral--Any Thoughts?

[DoctorJoJo]

[elleng]

1. NOT one single thought.

[Roland99]

2. Gonna get lit and pump up the jams

[Garrett78]

3. Bonfire on the beach, fireworks...and leis, of course.

[MANative]

4. Just hoping for sooner rather than later. nt

[YessirAtsaFact]

27. Next week works for me

Nm

[MineralMan]

5. Here's a prophetic film clip.

[Vinca]

6. Mariachi bands and loud sighs of relief.

[DesertRat]

58. And taco trucks serving the celebraters

[Glorfindel]

7. Appropriate ceremonial send-off. It's only fair for a creature of his stature

[Doreen]

8. He wil have an open casket because he thinks people will want to see his godly body

to the very end.

[Totally Tunsie]

10. In actuality, we just want to be sure he's in there!

[Doreen]

21. Yeah, like standing with a stake next to the casket in case he rises from the dead.

[DBoon]

9. a gas station in Milan,Italy?

nt

[BannonsLiver]

38. That's a Grade A reference

[Yavin4]

11. Similar to Thatcher's death

[Ilsa]

12. I imagine police and federal marshalls waiting patiently outside

to arrest the co-conspirators that are attending. My guess is most of them will be looking for something to snatch off the body to hock.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

13. I have just learned that as soon as a president takes office

plans have to be made for their funeral, which is kinda creepy - but since presidents are entitled to state funerals I suppose that has to be done.

Trump's funeral (which I hope I live to see) will present some interesting challenges, some of which will depend on the results of the Russia investigation. It's possible he will be impeached or resign, and if that happens his funeral will probably be more subdued, like Nixon's. And there's also the likelihood that regardless of how his presidency ends a whole lot of people will be damn glad the mofo is dead.

It's not likely that there will be a big fancy Christian funeral in the National Cathedral, since Trump sets foot in a church only when he absolutely has to, as for weddings and funerals. Otherwise he doesn't go to church and apparently never has. So it would be difficult for the presiding clergy to say anything relating to Trump's religion, which is basically himself.

I can imagine him wanting a funeral that's bigger than any previous funerals - more people, especially more important people. He wouldn't care about any religious ceremony - he'd only want expressions of adoration from masses of people. Whatever's the biggest stadium in the country, he'd want it, and there would have to be a Jumbotron.

Would all of his wives and mistresses attend?

[Totally Tunsie]

14. Any pomp and circumstance will be a waste of time and $$$ on this oaf,

and please spare us the hypocrisy of the religious services for the devil incarnate.

[Arkansas Granny]

15. Line the casket with Odor Eaters and he will just disappear. Voila! Job done.

[DoctorJoJo]

23. LOVE it!!

[malchickiwick]

16. There's always this: Scattering Donny's ashes (Big Lebowski)

Of course, this Donny was a much better person than the dotard...

[47of74]

25. all while remembering people who actually served

[ChoppinBroccoli]

17. I'm Envisioning People Partying And Dancing

Besides, he's not going to have a funeral. I imagine it's going to be like that scene from "Ghost" where the shadow creatures pop up out of a crack in the ground and drag him down into it.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

22. The last scene of "Don Giovanni."

[MountCleaners]

18. Well, even Nixon got a send-off...

And look! Ronald Reagan makes an appearance.

I have to admit, it brought a tear to my eye, not because I had any love for Nixon, but because it was like I was burying a piece of my childhood, burying the 1970's. And he was such a tragic figure.

Trump's life and death is so crass it doesn't rise to the level of literature. But he'll get the same treatment, unless he's impeached, of course. Then I don't know what will happen. Probably something low-key, to avoid embarrassment. And of course, do we need to see all of his criminal, horrible family and feel sad for them?

Frankly, it's not something that will happen in the distant future, if he keeps downing the cholesterol. My bet is he's next after Carter.

[Just a Weirdo]

19. His ashes will be spread over Rot's Knot's North Dakota, where the toxic waste dump is at..

Then the ashes reburied in the salt mines somewhere in New Mexico.

[Hermit-The-Prog]

20. Bing Crosby singing, "I'm dreaming of an orange melt-down."

[elocs]

24. Everybody dies. I know there are those here who would love to see Trump dead

as soon as possible.
I wonder, how many would personally have the guts to say to 12 year old Barron Trump's face, "I hope your father dies"?

Many do not get what they deserve in this life and I must say that I'm happy that I haven't always got what I deserved.

Whether we like it or not, when Trump dies there will be millions of people who will be sad and they probably would be the ones who wouldn't shed a tear when Carter, or Clinton, or Obama dies.
So I guess we all have something in common.

[Bettie]

32. Honestly, he probably thinks that

every day of his life.

People with terrible parents often know they are terrible.

[elocs]

48. But I would bet that Barron still loves his father regardless.

I'm sure that he does not wish his father dead every day of his life.
Do we really hate Donald Trump so much that we would say such a thing?

[Bettie]

49. I really believe he's that terrible of a person

I feared my parents and only later realized that the fear ended up erasing any love I ever had for them.

I grew up with extraordinarily toxic parents, so I do know what it feels like. If he doesn't hate his father now, he will.

Has nothing to do with my hatred for Trump, has everything to do with my firsthand knowledge of shitty parents.

[3Hotdogs]

33. Judging from the few videos I've seen of Barron and Donnie-dusch together, I doubt Barron

gives any more of a shit about him then we do.

[CentralMass]

26. Only the best people will be there. Like no one has ever seen.

[trueblue2007]

28. ding dong the witch is dead.

quite a ceremony, I think.

[MoonRiver]

29. Nobody will be there except his kids,

IF they aren't in jail.

[BlueStater]

30. Eulogies by Sarah Palin, James Woods, and Sheriff David Clarke.

Vladimir Putin will send his condolences via a live video message from Russia.

Kid Rock will play Amazing Grace.

[3Hotdogs]

37. Also eulogy by Sheriff Joe if he's not in prison at the time.

[DesertRat]

55. I picture Hannity and Jeannine Pirro (wearing a full black veil) in the front row.

[Bettie]

31. Well, they can dispose of him in a dumpster

start it on fire, that gives the appropriate send off.

[Ponietz]

34. The Hoarse Whisperer says:

Link to tweet

?s=21

[cynatnite]

35. Nope. n/t

[blogslut]

36. Well, since nobody's posted it yet, I guess I will

[jcgoldie]

39. Who cares as long as its soon

[guillaumeb]

40. 2 cars.

A crash.

No one watching.

[struggle4progress]

41. I have other plans for the day

[Tommy_Carcetti]

42. Here's a sneak preview.

[fescuerescue]

43. I think Trump lives rent free in many people heads

I'm sure it'll be a big huge affair.

But Id rather not waste my brain cells thinking about his major life events.

[LanternWaste]

44. That's often a result of being selected as one of the most powerful people on the planet

" I think Trump lives rent free in many people heads..."

That's often a result of being selected as one of the most powerful people on the planet making decisions that both directly and indirectly impact many aspects of our lives.

But I can certainly understand not wanting to waste one's brain over that.

[fescuerescue]

46. I think you missed the point

I think everyone know that he's President. Not much of a secret right?

And policies and generally idiocy on the world stage IS something that we should discuss etc.

But burning brain cycles, thinking about how he, or his kids will plan his eventual funeral? Well be my guest!

I just don't know why that would be important to most people now....Given that he is still alive and as you reminded us "one of the most powerful people on the planet". Right now I worry about his policies and actions. Not a future funeral flower arrangement.

[Hekate]

45. "Unwept, unhonored, and unsung" comes to mind. nt

[jmowreader]

47. This might be feasible

Have him cremated. Use the ashes to fill little capsules - one gram per capsule. Sell the capsules to Deplorables for the same price as a Trumpy Bear, and use the proceeds to pay down the debts Trump ran up. They can make little shrines to their Lord and Savior with them.

As for a funeral service, forget it. It'd be full of Nazis, sovereign citizens, Russian agents and other people you really don't want collecting in large numbers.

[muriel_volestrangler]

50. In exile - Russian Orthodox liturgy?

I suppose it depends on whether Vladimir will think he needs to make an effort or not.

[yonder]

63. Not sure, but I think he would have to have been baptized in the Orthodox Church for the liturgy.

I don't see that happening anytime soon.

And tRump in his speedos, in a baptismal basin having some unknown Father Alexander pouring water over his head?
I'd kind of want to see that, but probably mostly not.

[Turbineguy]

51. Champagne.

Clubbing outfit.

Attractive tango partner.

[OneBlueDotBama]

52. Fromt end loader....

and a dump truck, then off to the prison graveyard.

[C_U_L8R]

53. The end (or beginning) of Citizen Kane

Maybe his accountant will show up. And the grave digger.

[RussBLib]

54. party, baby n/t

[jberryhill]

56. I have been in a time machine, and I have this to report....

[DesertRat]

57. Pity the pall bearers having to carry that 300+ lbs plus the casket

[Atticus]

59. Sorry for the visuals, but-----

if they give him an enema they can bury him in a matchbox.

[napi21]

60. I couldn't get that out of my ,ind when the casket was being loaded on AF1 to be flown to DC,

and on through the speeches delivered in the Capitol. I tried to forget about it, but things like "Who will want to speak at Oranges funeral? Will anybody be able to think of any good things to say about him? Will the Military Band HAVE to play for him?" and many more like that. I felt sad that we as a Country have a presz we have to think such thoughts about.

BTW, I still don't have the answers to those questions.

[missingfink]

61. Sorry to burst your bubble but, .....

as misguided as they are, there are plenty of Trump worshipers. They will truly mourn his passing and attempt to tell the world how he was what America needed after the disaster of Obama & that he saved them from Hilary. Of course, those are total lies but his faithful will surely believe them. Yes, there are those that think more of him that most of us on here.

[DesertRat]

64. But are they in positions of power or influence who will be invited

or close friends who will be called upon to eulogize him?

[tinrobot]

62. National Day of Celebration!

[librechik]

65. whatever they did to Kashoggi n/t