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[Equinox Moon]

This message was self-deleted by its author (Equinox Moon) on Fri Dec 7, 2018, 07:21 AM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[dameatball]

1. Never occurred to me, but I have not followed the funeral much.

[JenniferJuniper]

2. Some people can't handle it

[hlthe2b]

3. Bush 1 had apparently been near death several times and then recovered... This last time he took a

sudden turn for the worst unexpectedly. So those who lived in Houston had time to get to the bedside. Those who did not called to speak with him, including Bush 43

[Iggo]

4. Nope.

People deal with death in the family in their own way.

I let 'em.

[ananda]

40. Agree

Just let people grieve and work through their loss
in their own way.

[rufus dog]

5. Not sure

Doesn't W live in Dallas and H was in Houston?

Regardless, from personal experience I can attest that sitting there for endless hours is very straining so I can't really condemn W for this.

[titaniumsalute]

6. I have said goodbye to loved ones in hospice

Others in my family spent the time with the last breathes. Because they were there I decided my last memory of them alive is the final breathe. I don't think there is any dishonor in that. And we really shouldn't guess why he wasn't there.

[True Dough]

7. After 43's eulogy today

I would never question his sincere love for his father.

[Siwsan]

8. Sometimes it's just timing

My mom and sister went home to get some rest, and I was with my dad when he died. Up to that point, we had all been with him, pretty much 24/7, from the time he went into hospice.

I sometimes wondered if he waited for Mom to leave. Dad and I were very close. The last thing he did, before slipping into a coma, was kiss my hand and smile at me.

[csziggy]

30. I do think lots of times people wait to die

When their closest loved ones are not there.

My Dad lingered for nearly a week after his final crisis. Mom was with him almost every second. That last morning my sister and her husband made Mom go with them to get breakfast at the hospital cafeteria. Dad died while none of us was with him for the first time in that week.

[spinbaby]

36. I think so, too

Both of my parents did that.

[Siwsan]

38. I recently shared the story of what happened, that day

It was a beautiful August day. There was a pond that you could see from his window and it always had a lot of beautiful water birds around and in it. My Dad loved to watch birds

I opened the window and described what I was seeing. Then I suggested he might want to go out and see it for himself. A few minutes later, he died.

A couple of days after that I was out walking, and a beautiful white plume feather floated down from the sky. I looked around and didn't see any birds. I figured it was just Dad letting me know he was OK. I always take comfort in believing that our bond has even survived his death.

[Dorian Gray]

9. So

anyone not by their loved ones bedsides when they pass don't really love their loved ones? Is that what we want to say here?

Bc when my sister in law went to the hospital I didn't go. Stayed home with my child. Didn't think she'd die that night. When my grandmother died, my mom was ten minutes away feeding us dinner. She got the call and drove right over. Was not at her bedside when it happened. I suspect every single person on this board has missed a final opportunity to say goodbye to someone, and it doesn't mean that they loved them any less.

It's a callous thing to speculate about.

[Equinox Moon]

10. Thanks. I don't think there is anything wrong with wondering and asking.

YOU, provided an explanation for your own situation, for example. Bush has not said.

[Dorian Gray]

17. Yeah

but i didn't owe you an explanation, and neither does Bush.

[regnaD kciN]

34. Indeed. I didn't make it to either of my parents' side when they passed...

My parents lived in San Diego and I'm in Seattle. In 2004, my father had a stroke, and it was clear he wasn't going to survive. We got on a flight to SD as soon as we could. When we landed at the airport, I called my mother, and was told my father had died while we were in-flight.

Seven years later, we had just been down to visit my mother barely a week previously. She caught a cold (which, at her age, was concerning), but I called her every night and, on Saturday night, she told me she was feeling a lot better. The next morning/afternoon, I got a call from her caregiver, telling me that her condition had deteriorated, but it didn't sound like she was in imminent danger. I spoke to her for a couple of minutes, urging her to keep her spirits up, get some rest, and keep fighting off the illness. I called again that evening, as I normally did, and was informed she was sleeping, so I didn't want to wake her up. The next morning, I called again, and her caregiver reported that she was non-responsive. She died a few hours later.

[Dorian Gray]

35. Aw

xoxo

you obviously loved your parents immensely.

[Sanity Claws]

11. He spoke to him on the phone

and 41 said his last words to 43. At least that is what 43 said in his eulogy.

[tparrett62]

12. I'm going to give 43 a pass on this

I don't question how people handle death. My inlaws have been strange in their interactions with each other and their parents when they're approaching death. Some stay far away, others are there for every step. It's a very individual thing.

[Grasswire2]

13. They thought he was rallying again.

Apparently that had happened several times....worse, then better, repeat repeat.

He had come around and eaten and they thought he had entered another good phase.

[Equinox Moon]

18. Thanks.

[demtenjeep]

14. My mom was in and out of the hospital the last year. The first 3 times we all went instantly

losing time at jobs and cancelling birthdays and anniversary celebrations.

The last time we did not expect it. I saw her the day before and went back to work the next day when she actually died.



When you are not rich, life gets in the way of what you would like to do versus what you have to do

[Equinox Moon]

15. Understood. You have a story to tell.

I have not heard his story.

[Rebl2]

16. When it

comes right down to it, it’s really none of our business why he wasn’t there at his bedside.

[Equinox Moon]

19. Okay. But I think it is okay to wonder also.

[HipChick]

20. My Aunt was up and cracking jokes in her hospital bed on a Mon..

She passed 2 days later....I had just flown in, 9hr flight and went straight to the hospital..


you can never tell...

[Equinox Moon]

21. No, we can never tell.

[HipChick]

22. As a caring son, I'm sure Bush is already cut up about it

but it's something I would not hold against him..

[UTUSN]

23. I thought I was the only one who noticed!1 From the earliest reports that BAKER was at the bedside

it sounded weird to me that Shrub was "on the speakerphone".

It sounded like another Katrina Moment for him.

Then he included it in his eulogy, saying he was told the Popper "had minutes to live" and he *IMMEDIATELY* got on the phone. Huh?!1

Anyway, it's over, thank ZEUS.

[Equinox Moon]

24. Hey, thanks for being in the club of wondering.

I think there is a story here we may never know.

[politicaljunkie41910]

25. It was my understanding that Baker lived in the same neighborhood. Sounded like he was practically

next door. It was mentioned several times during the service and in interviews this week with Baker, that he had been hospitalized several times before due to his illness bringing him to the brink of what seemed like death, and the family had come only for him to recover. This seemed like another one of those times, only he didn't want to go to the hospital again. This would seem understandable for those of us who have lost a parent to a dibilitating disease such as that suffered by both GHWB and his wife Barbara.

FTR, my husband was there when my Dad passed; I was not. My husband was very close to my Dad as was I. My husband was also retired; I was not. I was also traveling frequently with my job. Both my parents were suffering from early stages of Dementia and were in their mid 80's and by then living at my Sister's home. My husband visited my Dad every week on Mondays and spent two nights with him; one for himself and one for me, returning on Wednesdays. I visited my Dad and Mom when I could on the weekends usually spending the entire day there between traveling an hour and a half each way from our home. On the day that my Dad passed away, it was my husband who found him dead as he had passed in his sleep, and my husband slept on a sofa in the same room where my Dad slept. I was glad that he was the one who found him and not my Sister or my Mother. Since my Dad was under the care of a physician, when he passed, my Sisters were instructed to notify the Coroner's office. The Coroner was notified early that morning and it was late afternoon when they showed up. I'm grateful my husband was there for them.

[UTUSN]

26. I sincerely empathize with *your* personal experience.

[politicaljunkie41910]

27. Thanks. I appreciate your kind words.

[Grasswire2]

29. I loved the story relayed by Tom Brokaw about that visit with Baker.

GHWB woke up, and he said to Baker "Where we going, Bake?"

Baker answered "To heaven, George."

George "That's where I want to go."

That was kind of peaceful and nice, if true.

[GulfCoast66]

28. My wife and I missed the passing of 3 immediate family members by minutes.

And we lived in the same city. Things often move fast at the end.

I would be offended if someone ‘ questioned’ why we weren’t there.

I find an OP about the subject odd. But to each their own.

[Kajun Gal]

31. Can't always be there at the moment God calls you home...

[Tiggeroshii]

32. It really sucks to be in that position.

[Stallion]

33. He Was at the SMU Basketball Game in Dallas on the Nite Before His Father's Death

he goes to the majority of the bigger games since its right across from his Presidential Library. We have to stand and recognize him every game-I rise, politely clap, count to 10 and then sit down in honor of the Presidency. I guess his father's condition was rather sudden

[a la izquierda]

37. I was very close to my grandmother, but I lived in CA...

And she was in NJ. My father called to let me know she was dying and I, too scared to fly on my own, did not return home (I was 23 and 9/11 was still burned in my brain).
My grandmother knew how I hated flying and that I wouldn’t want my last memory of her to be in the hospital.
I have regretted my selfishness for 15 years. I made sure to get to my maternal grandma’s bedside, but that was only because I live a half-day’s drive away now.

[pnwmom]

39. Being in hospice doesn't mean death is imminent. Medicare, for example,

will pay for 6 months on hospice. If the person is still alive, and a doctor certifies he has no more than 6 months to live, then he can have another 6 months paid for -- and so on.

So hospice doesn't mean someone is about to die. It means they've decided to have comfort measures, rather than to seek an active cure.

And when you're dying of old age, basically, like he probably was, the time and course of death is very unpredictable. Were his family members all supposed to surround him, to be there in case he died, for months?