Parenting and having a gay child... just ran across this thoughtful phrase

[Mira]

Last edited Sat Aug 18, 2012, 12:26 AM - Edit history (1)

It made me remember the simple truth that the "problem" of gay children would be eliminated as soon as straight couples stop having them.

[cherokeeprogressive]

1. My Daughter and I were texting a few years ago about my Mom's breast lump around Christmastime...

She hesitated for a few minutes and then texted me

I have something to tell you but I don't want to lessen the importance of Grandma's problem...

You know you can tell me anything, any time.

(long silence)

I'm gay

Shit, is that all? I thought you were going to tell me you dropped out of high school...

I love you Dad

[Mira]

2. That makes me look up to you,

it is precisely how it needs to become in a world that has real problems.

[cherokeeprogressive]

3. It was a rocky road at first... We still had to tell my relatively conservative parents.

I left it up to her to make the decision about who was to tell them. She asked me to.

When I talked to my Dad about it, I prefaced my remarks with "I'm about to tell you something, and I don't want you to talk until I'm finished. I want you to know that how you respond will determine our relationship from this day forward" (of course I paraphrase, but that was the gist of it).

His response when I finished talking: "You mean you didn't know?"

I started crying, and he hugged me like he hadn't since I was a kid (I'm 51 now). I didn't cry out of shame, but relief. He scolded me for thinking he would be unable to accept it.

Her 21st Bday was Wednesday and she texted me that he called and wished her Happy Birthday.

Sometimes I think... life isn't ALL bad.

[Mira]

6. Glad you told this, because we all keep learning

about humane and accepting behavior, and examples help.
It's calming and life affirming, as you said in your last sentence, to find it easier than anticipated to cruise through a possibly difficult passage. Your Dad did a great thing with his acceptance in such a loving way.

[laundry_queen]

5. I outed my own teenage daughter

She had been acting strange for awhile, and talked constantly about this 'crush' she had at school. I really thought nothing of it but was curious as to why she never mentioned a name. Then one night we were just talking, and I asked her who this 'crush' was? "What's his name?" I asked. She squirmed and didn't say anything...so I said, "Or is it a her?" She was like, "omg, how did you know?" I shrugged. She's always told me everything, so when she hesitated about 'his' name, I figured I was on the wrong track. At any rate, she spilled about her crush, and we talked about it for awhile with a giggle here and there about her being 'in love', same as we would if she had a crush on some guy, and that was it. She talks about it openly with me. I'm not sure if she knows for SURE if she's gay, she's never said (and has had guy crushes before but when she was much younger), but it doesn't matter to me one bit if she's bi, gay, or 'experimenting'. I don't understand in a million years how someone could disown their kid for that. I love my dd so much, I can't imagine my life without her, nevermind over something so stupid.

[DCKit]

4. Hey, Dad....