I Don't Grieve Over His Cruelty. I Grieve Over Yours.

[CousinIT]

https://johnpavlovitz.com/2018/12/13/i-dont-grieve-over-his-cruelty-i-grieve-over-yours/

I really don’t care about him.

I know you think I do, but my sadness really has nothing to do with him.

I know who he is—and more accurately, I know what he is.

I know that he is just a mirror.

He has simply revealed clearly the disfigured ugliness of the place I call home and the people I live here alongside—and that is the thing I grieve over. And this is not the mourning over a singular loss, it is a daily grieving.

I grieve when I see elementary school teachers dressed up like a border wall for Halloween.
I grieve when I see white a woman screaming obscenities at two Muslims teenagers at a stop light.
I grieve when I see a Jewish professor’s office littered with spray-painted swastikas.
I grieve when I watch a father of four being tackled by ICE agents outside immigration offices.
I grieve when I witness white high school seniors making a “Heil Hitler” arm gesture during class photos.
I grieve when I see the contempt from white friends, when young black men die at traffic stops.
I grieve when I find the most vile sickness on my social media feed, hurled toward people of color and women and transgender people.
I grieve when I hear professed Christian pastors calling for the killing of LGBTQ people.
I grieve when I see rambling, racist tirades on subway cars filled with families with young children.
I grieve when I see supremacist candidates being elected and re-elected.
I grieve when I overhear dehumanizing conversations from old, white men, about Democratic women leaders, in crowded cafés.
I grieve when I sit across holiday tables, and witness bigoted tirades that I’d have thought people I knew and loved were not capable of.

And though all of these things are undoubtedly emboldened by him and encouraged by him and celebrated by him—that is not the source of my despair. It is the reality that all of this vicious, toxic, filth that we are infected with today—is something you are largely fine with. The rising hatred is not alarming or discomforting enough to you, to move you to action or to speak against it.

Oh sure, you might inwardly twinge with discomfort at one or two of the most egregious offenses, but by and large you’re good with it all.

With your silence, as much as with your volume, you show me you are more with him than you are against him, that you are more like him than different from him—and that you and I are increasingly morally incompatible.

So yes, he is a mirror, and I am seeing you my countrymen and women through him.

That is why I grieve, friend.

That is why I don’t see America or my church or my neighborhood or my family the same anymore, and I’m not sure I ever will again.

The greatest tragedy to me, isn’t him. It isn’t that the person supposedly leading our country lacks a single benevolent impulse, that he is impervious to compassion, incapable of nobility, and mortally allergic to simple kindness.

The greatest tragedy, is how many Americans he now represents.

And that he represents you.

[democrank]

1. A million K & Rs

[superpatriotman]

2. Every argument with a trumper ends with me saying:

"Your support for him tells me much more about you than it does him."

De programmers will be busy for years after this mess.

[elocs]

3. I remember thinking after 9/11, "America will never be the same again"

and it never will after Trump either. Oh, things can get better but it will take decades to recover from what Trump has done to our courts.
In the meantime his cohort, those rabid Trump followers and supporters, will be waiting for the Left to become complacent and lazy, then they will return.
For the sake of this nation we are compelled to remain vigilant.

[DemocracyMouse]

37. As a vigilant lefty I loved the statement, but wished he included America's hatred of green issues

[FM123]

4. So sad, but true.

[lunamagica]

5. + a million

[scarletwoman]

6. Sadly spot on. Thank you for posting this. nt

[Mr. Ected]

7. There are term limits for Presidents

If only there were term limits on the cruel Americans this OP addresses.

[Grasswire2]

39. I believe the term limit for POTUS should be one six year term.

The way it is, year three and four are spent campaigning for the second term and that is fractious.

[dembotoz]

8. kinda sums up how i feel

must admit i do tend to be something of a grinch
happy holidays is just to damn hollow

[DFW]

9. Exquisitely expressed

I wish it could be sent to every Republican Senator, Member of the House, Governor and State legislator.

Unfortunately, they would read through this and ask if there is anything wrong.

[denvine]

10. Very powerful and true!

Thank you for putting into words my exact feelings. I don't think I will ever be able to look at my family, friends and acquaintances, who support this vile human, the same again. It's really sad that I now see something in them I wish I would never have seen. Our relationship will be different for a very long time.

[mcar]

11. +1000!

So well said!

[uponit7771]

12. Yep, we're not in 1930s Germany with limited information

[Karadeniz]

13. Yep

100% yep.

[yuiyoshida]

14. He still is an

A$$H0[3.

[NNadir]

15. Right on brother! Right on! n/t

[hibbing]

16. Excellent post n/t

[Hamlette]

17. I feel the same

[PatrickforO]

18. I grieve as well.

But then, 'blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.'

I am comforted by the unraveling of this corrupt, treasonous presidency and the equally corrupt, treasonous Republican party.

I rejoice that the Democrats will control the House in January. I also rejoice that Ginsberg is back at work. May she live to 100!

[pazzyanne]

22. From your lips and keyboard to God's ear!

My prayers for a long and happy life for Justice Ginsberg as well. She is very aware of the importance of her staying healthy and active for the next "5 years". She is an amazing and very aware woman.

[calimary]

19. Outstanding read. Sad, but critically important.

[demigoddess]

20. the minute we elect honorable president and Congress, they will go back

into their holes. The impeachment will be the Nuremberg trials and people will learn that they were out of line.

[CloudWatcher]

38. If we have a trial.

I fear there will be a resignation and a pardon and the full horror of this presidency will be swept under the rug under the banner of "looking forward" or "healing" and the Trump supporters will never be forced to confront their failings.

Would we be where we are ...

- If Ford had not pardoned Nixon?
- If Clinton had been convicted and removed from office for his perjury? [Gore would have run as an incumbent!]
- If Obama had not squashed war-crimes charges against the water-boarders of the Bush admin?

All of these decisions seemed reasonable at the time, but all allowed the evil in our culture to rebound.

So if I had to guess, I'm thinking Trump will get a non-prosecution agreement in exchange for resigning.

And that will not be a good thing.

[ananda]

21. Yes, this is our American tragedy.

How we survive it is up to us.

[NotASurfer]

23. Niemollerian prose

Well-shared

[Demovictory9]

24. wow

[Hekate]

25. KnR

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

26. That's about right.

"The greatest tragedy to me, isn’t him. It isn’t that the person supposedly leading our country lacks a single benevolent impulse, that he is impervious to compassion, incapable of nobility, and mortally allergic to simple kindness.

The greatest tragedy, is how many Americans he now represents.

And that he represents you."

Yup.

[cp]

27. Yes

Grieving. That's what underlies my fury.
Thank you for posting this.

[tblue37]

28. K&R for visibility. nt

[coeur_de_lion]

29. + 1000

I grieve when I realize that people I really love think this treasonous racist asshole is the best president they've ever had.

I grieve when my own sister and my favorite cousin post online about all the great things Individual 1 has done for black people. Because I know that means they're card carrying racists. That hurts.

I grieve when I realize half my family not only voted for this apricot asshole but think he's wonderful.

I grieve when I see footage of white men marching with torches and chanting, "Jews will not replace us."

I don't grieve to know that Individual 1 sold out his country to thr Russians. That just makes me so angry I could throttle him. But I do grieve to know that my family is basically fine with that.

[Poiuyt]

30. Brilliant post!

[philly_bob]

31. What's interesting it has given us a number: 36%

That seems to be the irreducible number of American who are -- choose your adjective: dumb, mean-spirited, delusional, authoritarian, gullible. Pro-Trump.

I suspect they've always been there. I've met some, and avoid them as much as possible. Those who have jobs that require working with the public can not avoid them, unfortunately.

[Ferrets are Cool]

32. Wow, that was profoundly deep.

[blueinredohio]

33. Beautiful post. Thank you and bookmarked to let those who need their eyes opened to read it.

Thank you again.

[orangecrush]

34. Funny thing

This is similar to what I was thinking on the drive home just now.

[VOX]

35. This would make one hell of a stemwinder, just as it is.

Imagine a charismatic Democrat delivering this speech in a large public venue.

It would be legendary.

[catbyte]

36. Amen.

[recovering_democrat]

40. Sad but true.

So accurate, so sad. May we as a country figure out why it is soooooo wrong. My Christmas wish for this year.

[matelize]

41. Reality

I think you perfectly described the deep sadness and shame so many of us feel at the loss of the myth of America as a kinder, gentler nation. For so many of us, we feel such disbelief that he has reflected back a truth we never wanted to believe.

[Ilsa]

42. The trumpers say what they like is his honesty.

He isn't honest. He is rude, dishonest, hateful, and perverse. What they are really saying is that they like rudeness, dishonesty, hatefulness, and perverseness spreading and becoming mainstream and acceptable.

[mickswalkabout41]

43. So well said

And I agree. All the way