BREAKING NEWS: Chiefs, Patriots, Saints and Rams forfeit upcoming championship games.
The Kansas City Chiefs, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints and Los Angeles Rams have all jointly agreed to forfeit their upcoming conference championship games this coming weekend. As a result, Super Bowl LIII--which had been scheduled to take place on February 3rd in Atlanta--has been cancelled and for the first time in NFL history, there will be no league champion this year.
As the basis of their decision, the teams cited the possibility that one of the teams would be forced to suffer through the indignity of having to endure a celebration ceremony at the Trump White House.
When asked for comment, White House representatives expressed their disappointment in the teams' decision.
"Whatever team that would have won the Super Bowl is clearly missing out from what would have been quite a festive occasion," said White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders. "The President had already lined up a deal with local supermarkets to provide previously opened Lunchables which had been returned for quality control issues. There's nothing that says congratulations on a well-earned winning season better than that right there."
Trump himself reportedly had been looking forward to toasting the winning team with champagne flutes filled with generic store brand ginger ale, the bottles of which had been stored in a room temperature closet and which have been previously opened in order to eliminate all carbonation.
Details at Eleven.
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Do they still make Mogen David? If not,I really don’t want to go!
Mac Davis.
Would remember. Not a wine drinker but still remember the sweet taste.
appeared on an auction at the first Christmas fundraiser my Sunday School Class held 27 years ago.
It was purchased.
It returned the following year and was purchased again.
This went on for something like 10 years, until one year the "winner" (aka custodian) of the Collector's Set of Not Exactly Wines reported that the bottles were mysteriously "broken" while in his custody. (we think they drank them)
This perennial gag gift was sorely missed for several years. It never brought much $$ but it was the thought that counted and is also indicative of the absolute insanity of the Good Neighbors Adult* Sunday School Class at FUMC Ft Worth TX
We still have that party every Christmas and raise an average of $8,000 every year. Not of course on boxed sets of Really Bad Wine
That brought memories, whew, for a second there I thought I was having an acid flashback!
Hey, nothing but the best. Or is that "be best"? Rhymes with "detest," though, so that works.
For a split second, I believed it was true. Every day I wake up to news stories that are beyond belief, so little surprises me anymore.
Very funny, thanks for the laugh! 
That was even better than the "House of Carbs" tweet posted earlier.
