As a black man living in America (A nice, long essay)...
l've decided a long time ago that I needed to accept that, with a reasonably high degree of probability, any particular white person living in this country may have said or done some racist BS during their lifetime.
After all, this country was built on white supremacy. The stage has been set a long time ago to condition people living here to facilitate and perpetuate white racism, whether we realize it or not.
I had to take this position as a simple psychic defense mechanism. Because, I really can't afford to blow my top at every instance I come across of some white person acting a racist fool. Instead, I've decided to dispassionately assess these situations and the overall environment in which they exist. I'm much more comfortable with analyzing things than emotionally reacting to them. That's just me, and I understand that most other people simply won't choose to take that approach.
Yep, I'm just weird that way.
Since nothing happens in a vacuum, white racist bullshit happens for various reasons...
Of course, one has to take into consideration, without making excuses, all the mitigating factors of upbringing, exposure to negative reinforcement against people of color, lack of self-awareness, basic apathy towards anyone who isn't white, aggressive tendencies, resentment, stupidity and ignorance, lack of contact with anyone who isn't white like themselves... The factors are countless. We can be here all day discussing this.
The signs are always there. One just has to choose to look for them.
Considering how racist bullshit can crop up at any particular time, I've observed that most white people in this country just aren't emotionally, socially or intellectually prepared to fundamentally invest in a life of anti-white supremacy. It's just not their struggle and it's easier many times to choose the path of least resistance, which consists of ignoring and whitesplaining white supremacy, instead of being on the frontlines of fighting against it.
And I didn't just pull that out of my own ass, I relied on white activists and researchers, such as Dr. Robin DeAngelo and Jane Elliot, who have taken the time and effort to painstakingly understand and document how other white people like themselves could be actively and passively white supremacist and not even know what the fuck they're doing. Much of it required an active level of self-discovery, some of it to their own dismay.
If you find yourself engaging and benefiting from white supremacy without your own consent, that can really be a wake up call, if you know what to look for.
I will say that in the last 12 years, we’ve also had a tremendous opportunity to educate the general population on how white supremacy works. And that was due to having a black president during the time. There's also the double-edged of sword social media and discussion. There really is no excuse to be ignorant about this stuff, unless one chooses to be willingly ignorant. Unfortunately, it can also make the already racist even more supported and dangerous through networking.
I have to point out that too many white people mistakenly conflate so-called “bad” people with racists. Although, self-declared white supremacists are invariably pieces of human shit, “good” whites can and do say racist things as well without even knowing it. The good/bad dichotomy doesn't accurately assess which white people will say and do racist things or not. That, in itself, causes a lot of conflict and controversy.
Thus I've resigned to the realization that, as far as whenever white people are involved, that racist bullshit could happen at any time, whether they realize it or not. I don't always expect to happen, I just don't expect it to NOT happen.
For most white people to really understand what is or is not racist (white supremacist), they'd have to choose to be self-aware enough to see how merely being white fits inside the whole picture, whether they agree with it or not. As I said, a lot of well-meaning white folks lack the utter capacity to navigate this maze, thus we constantly end up with white supremacy WITHOUT white supremacists. I'm not saying that all white people will knee jerk their way into denying that any particular speech or action is, in fact racist when it actually is... But we've all seen it happen, especially with white people who lack the basic frame of reference.
So what IS "Racism?"
In a nutshell, racism in America is systematic white supremacy. The most important thing to remember is that racism and white supremacy are part of the fabric of America, because it centers and normalizes whiteness, creating a standard that’s impossible for non-whites to achieve. How else do we end up in scenarios where black women get fired for merely wearing natural hair styles?
Racism in America is a problem that’s primarily of, by and for white people. It's not something that non-whites will ever have as a cudgel to use against whites. "Black supremacy" isn't a real thing that holds whites under the subjugation and repression of our whims. No white person in America will ever lose their job for failing to maintain standards of appearance that are based on black people.
Whenever white victimhood rears its ugly head, and butt hurt white people accuse black people of being "racist" against whites... There's no way in hell that these people can prove how that can even happen. They're simply applying a frame of reference that's exclusively relegated to white existence in America TO black people. Black people are not the beneficiaries of white normality in America and too many white people cannot conceive of that simple concept.
It also goes into why "color blindness" is problematic, but I digress here.
Racism is not going to go away until whites in general stop actively and passively facilitating white supremacy. One way to do that is to stop promoting white mediocrity above everything else. For example, if we used the exact same criteria for electing Barack Obama to Donald Trump, Trump wouldn't even have been considered a viable PRIMARY candidate. But, due to the fact that Trump benefitted from the automatic promotion of white mediocrity ABOVE anything that's non-white, that incompetent and corrupt motherfucker is now sitting in the White House.
Black people pretty much ALL know WHY he's there... He's there simply because white people voted for him. In all demographics he won the white vote in the last election. Unfortunately, a lot of white people who didn't vote for him have a hard time reconciling the fact of WHY Trump wast elected: For the most part, by being the white power candidate in the aftermath of that black guy from Kenya.
The conditions to exploit white supremacist sentiments and resentment and anger were all hanging out there, and Trump rode that pony into the White House, to everyone's detriment.
The most aggravating thing about this is that those feelings of resentment and anger were exacerbated from years of policies that were aimed at repressing the poor, the working class and non-whites. Over the years, whites too have been swept under the same rug with the rest of us.
Which has verified to me that, in America, white supremacy is the core reason for why we all can't have nice things.
Regarding Gov. Ralph Northam.
Now, I wasn't one of those people who immediately declared that he should resign because of what he did 35 years ago. I'm of the mind that Northam missed a real opportunity here. He's disappointingly dropped the ball with his mealy mouthed apology and declaration to NOT resign. It's quite clear to see why he shouldn't have been giving the benefit of the doubt.
What I would liked to have seen from him:
1. That he'd admit to his racist actions early on.
2. Say that they were wrong for any time, including 35 years ago.
3. Declare that he’s a bad example, a warning that other whites should learn from. However...
4. In begging for forgiveness, validate his self-awareness by deferring to the will of the state's electorate.
Instead, he's acting like an entitled asshole and is now an unnecessary political liability for Virginia Democrats. Because of that, I don't think that this is over by a long shot and he just may end up out of office. It's looking like a good time for Virginia to have its SECOND black governor right about NOW.
Yay, team.
Lastly, black people are experts at pointing what's racist in this country and everyone should listen to us about this.
People of color and black people in particular will never stop calling for the end of white supremacy and racist ideology in this country. We have to do this because our basic survival depends on it. We have no choice other than to be unapologetically black in a country with standards for everything that are based on whiteness.
We will never try to be black & brown “white” people. We’re ourselves. Identity politics is a form of repression against us anyway.
All in all, racism will continue to be a problem in America until white people FORCE other white people to get their shit together. That’s where the fight is. Listen to black people, but don’t patronize us. More often than not, we've already notice the racist BS before white people do. Basically, because we tend to be the targets.
I will say that once white people get it INTO their heads to stop making America a living hell for non-white people and the poor of all stripes, they'll come to realization that a rising tide raises ALL boats and thus, everyone will benefit.
Take care!
= new reply since forum marked as read
from start to finish
Rec 
And that's saying something. Thanks for it. That's why I'm here. To learn. You didn't disappoint. 
Excellent post!
Everyone needs to read this, and not just DU.
Sure, we white people sure does all think and look alike.
Those statements spit in the face of those whites who lived during the Civil rights struggles of the 1960s and were insulted then because of it. But my complaint isn't about being insulted, it isn't about me at all. I don't regret, I knew what I signed up for--even in High School.
My complaint is that the sons and daughters of those who marched and championed minority rights have forgotten both whites and black stood shoulder-to-shoulder for what's right.
For what's MORAL AND RIGHT, not because of the color of people's skins.
So pointing out that some white people are also making the same mistake does not benefit anyone. And it harms those who once suffered ridicule for supporting what's right "outside of their own race" when it came time to stand up and be counted.
2nd black governor. Doug Wilder was the first
And this part -
This is a survival tactic taught to us by our parents and other relatives, our elders and other interested members of the communities in which we live. And it is especially useful if not mandatory when one is born and raised and lives in a completely homogeneous black community, and then decides to step outside of that community, eventually seeing a hard way to go if they ignored that teaching.
The interesting thing about social media is that early on in its existence, its anonymity often allowed cross-racial/cross-cultural interactions to happen without the visual/cultural "clues", which allowed for a certain amount of embrace of shared "humanity". But nowadays, with the young folk proudly using real names and real self-photos in their discourse - the perfect illustration of the phenomena of white supremacy often rears its head, as culturally-taught hierarchies suddenly manifest themselves (whether consciously or subconsciously) as a tool for how to assess and carry out further interactions.
It is a cultural caste system, defined by the majority, with an expectation that others are required to "know their place" and position themselves into their expected "role". And if you buck that system, all hell breaks loose - whether literally (physically) or figuratively (metaphorically).
Cultural hierarchies are something that humans have established from time immortal but how these hierarchies are defined and carried out varies from region to region (whether here in the U.S. or internationally).
