I would rather {blank} than watch the State of the Union Address

[imavoter]

I would rather go to the mall, try on swimsuits, and ask random teenagers what they think
than watch the State of the Union Address.


Your turn.

[Scoopster]

1. Stream fun games on my Twitch channel! n/t

[csziggy]

2. Have some "executive time"

[Funtatlaguy]

3. I would rather

have my large handed urologist perform a prostate check with one hand 🖐 while he’s having trouble properly inserting a urine gathering catheter into my penis with the other hand 🤚

[MLAA]

9. Owwieeeeee!

[Ohiogal]

4. Clean up the dog poo in the backyard.

[get the red out]

27. This, but

With my bare hands, no bag, no scoop, just pick it up bare-handed and put it in the trash can.

[BlueJac]

5. I would rather be tied to a stake then watch a hateful Trump spew forth his lies!

[Polly Hennessey]

6. I would rather try to

drive over Donnor Pass tonight than listen to disgusting fish mouth.

[mr_lebowski]

7. I'd rather listen to an endless loop, at 140 decibels ...

Consisting of the Barney Theme, Baby Shark Doo Doo, and Hansen's Mmm-Bop ... while getting a root canal ... two days into withdrawing from a 5 year heroin bender.

...

Okay, maybe not that last part.

[2naSalit]

19. +1

[LAS14]

8. Try to figure out how to be sure to capture the Democratic follow up....

.... without having to even glimpse his revolting visage when I'm checking. the rebuttal is not listed as a separate item on my cable guide. Can someone here at DU post as soon as the SOTU is over? Oh.... right, I guess not. No one here will be watching...

[Tikki]

10. Pull weeds, iron sheets and sort out the file cabinet.

Tikki

[Liberty Belle]

11. Have a root canal without anaesthetic.

Watching Trump spout lies is more painful.

[California_Republic]

12. Watch An Obama SOTU rerun

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

13. I'd rather eat cornflake-crusted chicken at Olive Garden. nt

[Sanity Claws]

29. You're an oldtimer!

I made a joke about the Olive Garden in Times Square last month and nobody caught it. We oldtimers must honor the fights that made DU interesting and funny.

[Dem2theMax]

60. I almost made a Times Square Olive Garden joke a few days ago

But I wondered if anybody would get it. So I didn't do it!

[jmowreader]

38. Don't forget

You also need to be smoking, breastfeeding and holding a pit bull while listening to Chuggo albums.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

42. And listening for the door buzzard. nt

[Dem2theMax]

63. And Don't tutch the but.

[imavoter]

99. old school references

I'm so proud

that's funny you mentioned that because I googled the cat but earlier today.
was feeling nostalgic, I guess

[Dem2theMax]

100. That was one of my favorite threads of all time.

To this day, I can still laugh about it so hard that I get tears in my eyes.

All of the priceless threads should be put in a special forum, so that we can find them and reminisce from time to time.

Thank goodness that we have a lot of funny people on this board. They get us through the hard times! Whether they mean to or not. (Olive Garden.)

[imavoter]

106. +1

[underpants]

77. Uh I thought "cornflakes" were banned on DU

That’s going way back

[murielm99]

96. No no no to that.

We aren't supposed to talk about (ahem) chicken.

Kudzu is safer.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

97. I don't know if Kudzu is safer, but it's going places. nt

[Nay]

14. Clean the toilets. Cook a meal.

[Faux pas]

15. Clean

toilets.

[nocoincidences]

16. dust all my thousands

of tchochkes!!

[gibraltar72]

17. Anything.

[LuckyCharms]

18. Pour lava into my ass through an un-lubricated funnel.

[Funtatlaguy]

30. I thought they closed that S&M club in Brooklyn.

[LuckyCharms]

32. But what does a deli sandwich have to do with this?

[Funtatlaguy]

37. You lost me in your deli funnel.

[CTAtheist]

67. "There's always time for lubricant!"

I hope someone gets this movie reference....

[JuJuYoshida]

20. I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches

shove an ice pick under a toenail or two

[crazycatlady]

21. go to the DMV

[lindysalsagal]

48. Stand in the post office line for 2 hours....

[crazycatlady]

71. see that I don't mind

When I have to go to the PO, it means that I sold something.

[gratuitous]

22. Stolen from Sam Malone on Cheers

I'd rather comb my hair with a cheese grater while chewing tinfoil.

[Bettie]

23. I would rather

stick red hot pokers into my eyes.

Seriously, just hearing that voice makes me anxious.

[Sugar Smack]

24. -Be buried up to my neck in fire ants at an Eagles reunion concert

than watch the SOTU.

[mr_lebowski]

25. I HATE the fucking Eagles, man!

Got any Creedence?

[markbark]

26. Here's a whole list!

[JuJuYoshida]

41. glad SOMEONE got it! lol

[Terminally_Chill]

28. be stuck in morning rush hour traffic on the inbound Kennedy

[redstatebluegirl]

31. Have a root canal without drugs.

[davsand]

33. I'd rather perform self administered rectal surgery without anesthetic.

I feel that way about just seeing his skanky face, let alone having to actually HEAR him.




Laura

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

34. Eat a bag of bees.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

35. Be thrown naked into a Turkish prison.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

36. Lance an infected hemorrhoid with a plastic party fork.

[DFW]

40. A PLASTIC fork?

Talk about living on the edge!!!

[DFW]

39. SLEEP!!

If anyone thinks I'm going to get up at 3 A.M. to watch some clown do an Alec Baldwin imitation in front of Congress, they have another think coming.

[Hobo]

43. Hot needles in my eye

Than watch that shit show

[cwydro]

44. I'll have a Jamesons nightcap and head to sleep.

I’m on the other side of the Atlantic and very happy to be here.

I salute you all who are about to listen. I send you strength lol.

[Iggo]

45. Blank works. (n/t)

[blitzen]

46. Me too.... n/t

[eissa]

47. I'd rather re-watch the Super Bowl

Including the halftime show

[FailureToCommunicate]

74. That's what I was going to write as well!

Well, maybe not including the halftime show.

[LAS14]

49. I'd rather watch Obama's best moments on video.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211778698

[bdamomma]

50. Watch Netflix

The Vikings

[WhiskeyWulf]

51. My usual response to questions like this:

"I would rather slowly bleed to death."

But yours is funnier.

[imavoter]

86. thanks :)

I stole if from someone on Facebook in a comment section on a news post.
This was several weeks ago before Nancy asked the Dumpster to reschedule.
I should have saved that link, because it was better than reading through fake Amazon reviews.

[Bleacher Creature]

52. Watch a marathon of the Kardashians.

[joanbarnes]

53. Watch a holocaust movie...........

[moose65]

54. I'd rather go hunting with Dick Cheney!

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

55. Have a hemerhoidectomy without anesthesia

[Olafjoy]

56. Lawrence Welk

I would rather sit on Grammie’s plastic covered couch watching a Lawrence Welk marathon.

[VWolf]

57. Wax my scrotum n/t

[enid602]

58. Snot

I would rather swim in snot than watch that idgit.

[Different Drummer]

59. I would rather watch a Joe Don Baker movie marathon. n/t

[Takket]

61. Have Sex

No one said i had to choose something miserable

[milestogo]

62. 'watch a boring superbowl'

[Sparkly]

64. Have pneumonia AND

a fractured hand at the same time, which I seriously have right now.

[maxrandb]

65. Go Christmas fishing with Scott Peterson

I'd rather scoop my eyeballs out with a melon baller.

I'd rather listen to my dad tell me what a great lay my mom is.

I'd rather sit through another 4 hour PowerPoint brief on tax preparation.

I'd rather stand a "balls to four" quarterdeck watch on a frigate in Bangor Maine in January.

I'd rather stand conning officer on the bridge of a Battleship doing the 18 hour Panama Canal transit in August.

These are just a few things I'd rather do.

[kag]

66. Listen to the "1-877- Kars 4 Kids" song...

over and over until the SOTU is history.

[meow2u3]

68. I'd rather clean out my cats' litterbox barehanded

than listen to his State of the Shitshow invective.

[brandnewday2009]

69. Watching "Chopped"

...three courses of chocolate tonight---yum!

[Chicago1980]

70. I'd rather...

...fuck myself with an unlubed dildo..

[bearssoapbox]

72. I would rather have projectile vomiting

And explosive diarrhea thanlisten to one millisecond of that traitorous rat bastard.

[Pluvious]

73. I would rather...

Watch John Travolta video of him dancing to Bee Gees' Staying Alive 20 times.

[JGug1]

75. I Would Rather

sit here, eating a baked apple and responding to your post than watch that lying liar.

[LW1977]

76. Receive anal sex from a cactus

[underpants]

78. A friend of mine actually had one of these

[underpants]

79. Read one line threads on DU

[Stuart G]

80. Clean the toliet bowl incrusted with sh*t..

[Best_man23]

81. Have my hand set on fire

Then put out with a sledgehammer.

[haydukelives]

82. Dive head first

into a vat of my own vomit.

[LibDemAlways]

83. I can't beat the swimsuit scenario. LMAO at the thought, but

since I'm a substitute teacher, I suppose I'd rather sub a 40 student kindergarten class of 5 and 6 year olds who are all ridden with the stomach flu on a rainy day while I'm blindfolded and have my hands tied behind my back than waste one second of my life listening to anything the orange menace has to say.

[imavoter]

87. I've worked with kids...

so I get that

[LibDemAlways]

88. Well, the mere thought of anyone seeing me

in a swimsuit is hilarious. I can't bring myself to put one on, much less even look in the mirror to see how truly awful I'd look. I'm many pounds away from even thinkng about it, so your post really hit home. Thanks for that. I needed a good laugh. 😃

[imavoter]

89. ha ha...

we went to Mexico last summer and I had to go buy swimsuits...hit home for me too.

I stole the swimsuit comment from someone on Facebook in a comment section on a news post.
I should have saved that link, because it was better than reading through fake Amazon reviews.

[LudwigPastorius]

84. Saw my own head off.

[bluedigger]

85. Watch Maroon 5's Superbowl half time show again

[IrishEyes]

90. I would rather watch President Hillary Clinton's state of the union address.

Unfortunately, this scumbag is in office.

I didn't watch the state of the union address. I ended up going to dance class, had a big delicious salad for dinner and then watched a British TV show.

[imavoter]

91. I agree n/t

[Blarneyman]

92. Rip out my teeth with a rusty pair of pliers

No anesthesia!

[RainCaster]

93. Pluck my nose hair

[librechik]

94. turns out, 10 yr old Law and Order episodes. Not even the Chris Noth ones.

I tried, because I wanted to watch Pelosi. As soon as I confirmed she was doing OK, I ran from the consistent stench/cuteness thing Trump was doing. (shudder)

[The Wizard]

95. Shave my head

with a cheese grater.

[tclambert]

98. Perform a heart transplant on myself.

[msdogi]

101. kiss George Bush

on the lips.

[akraven]

102. Read a book.

[Haggis for Breakfast]

103. ALL of these were hilarious.

I sat here laughing til my ribs hurt.

You guys are all too funny.

I'll add one my brother gave me : Have a ground glass enema.

[Blue Owl]

104. Eat a cold Big Mac

and that ain't gonna happen...

[Gothmog]

105. I watched some recorded shows