I suppose I can forgive myself for stealing a pair of knee socks (50 yrs ago) during a blizzard

[GemDigger]

when I was 13....

[zipplewrath]

1. Michigan?

I swear ours was the winter of '68.

[GemDigger]

5. Right year, wrong state. New Hampshire.

A small town with only the one store. It was such a cold wet snow that never stopped and I was locked out of my house and my mother wasn't due home for another 4 hours and I was freezing cold and wet. I did fess up 15 years later when I saw the store owner. His response was "I know, I saw you take them and you immediately crossed the street to change yours." He said he tried to call me back to bring me inside but I didn't hear him or see him.

[GulfCoast66]

8. Wow. I can just imagine you...freezing half do death yet wracked with guilt.

Apparently the shop owner saw the same thing.

His response to you must have been comforting. And reminds us that many people can be kind if given the opportunity.

[GemDigger]

11. He was a treasure of a human being.

I was surprised he never mentioned it to me when I would go to the store, I think it was the look of guilt on my face.

Edited: It was a small town and he knew every family/person in town.

[GulfCoast66]

14. I doubt he took comfort in your guilt.

In fact, he probably wanted to reassure you it was fine but did not want to embarrass either of you.

Even today I notice New Englanders are pretty taciturn. I imagine 50 years ago it was more pronounced.

One of my favorite memories is a friend taking me and a friend of a friend from New Hampshire sea trout fishing. My friend in I were in our 30’s and the yankee must of been pushing 60. This is a type of fishing I have done since I was 5. I was catching fish after fish while they were not. And like a Louisiana boy, whooping it up and carrying on. Later my friend told me that the older gentleman was uneasy and thought I was being braggadocio! I was just being a Louisianan. It taught me there were real cultural differences in this country.

[democratisphere]

2. Now you can be tried as an adult.

Don't know if there is a statute of limitations on knee socks. Better make restitution and give yourself up.
Good luck!

[GemDigger]

6. A pair of socks might get me a pair of years.....

[Bernardo de La Paz]

3. You must. Forgiveness is healthful. It is for the forgiver, not the forgiven. It is a release.

When the forgiver and forgiven are one and the same then it is even more important.

Though this is just socks, for illustration it is true that a person can forgive someone who sexually abused them as a child. The victim will be released from a huge burden of mind space. The criminal need not ever know.

Once forgiveness has truly been given, the forgiver can prosecute the criminal to the full extent of the law and seek maximum penalties. Those provide deterrence to others and it is not incompatible with having forgiven.

I know your example is a bit tongue in cheek, but forgiveness is so powerful I use every opportunity to let people know.

[GemDigger]

7. I was a bit tongue in cheek but I do still feel guilty because I know you do not steal.

I am my own worse judge, jury and executioner ... always ... even for the littlest things ... so your comment really hit home. Thank you.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

12. You are welcome. There's something else you can do too

I know the feeling because about once a week I'll notice myself bugging myself about something I did long ago (or recently) and I'll pause, accept the lesson, forgive myself and move forward, even if it was the same thing on my mind two months ago! It doesn't make it go away; forgiveness is not forgetting; but it does make it easier to handle and healthier.

It is not strictly necessary, but sometimes doing something charitable specifically with the act in mind can help. Think of it as "reimbursing forward". It doesn't erase the act, but it is an atonement.

You could for example buy some warm item of clothing and give it to somebody who really needs something like that. Back in the day a pair of socks might have been about a dollar and they might be about a dollar today with third world textile mills and all, but a dollar 50 years ago generally went as far as $10 or $20 today. Just an idea. I would forgive you, and do to the extent I am able,

Gratitude and forgiveness are two powerful techniques.

[GemDigger]

15. I find it easier to forgive others than it is to forgive myself.

The last thing I think of when I am doing something for others or a purpose (whatever that may be) atonement is the farthest thing from my mind.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

16. Yes, can be. But you are not exactly the same person you were 50 years ago.

Sure, atonement is far from mind when helping, which also speaks to your character. But consider a specific act of atonement if you think it might help you.

[panader0]

10. I agree. I'm working on it but I'm not there yet.

For others and myself. To forgive is to clean your slate.

[Chin music]

4. Raise your head.

You're a human being. We will be avenged. There's 250 million mad as hell muther effers in America right now.

[GemDigger]

9. Mad is an understatement. I am so mad that I went to shovel SNOW to lower my BP.

Funny how that worked.

[Chin music]

13. GET IT ON!!

This will pass. But remember the feeling. Make a plan with yourself on days like this.