General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsLEAKED AUDIO of late night Barr Redacting Session, which isn't fake just because I wrote it.
A.G. BARR: Before we begin, I need a commitment from everyone hear that NOTHING we discuss today leaves this room.
ALL: AGREED! (assorted snickers)
A.G. BARR: WHO'S SNICKERING? (all heads lower in silence)...OK, my first recommendation is that all references to "Trump," "Donald J. Trump," "Individual 1," and "President" be redacted.
ALL: AGREED!
TRUMP: That's BULLSHIT!
A.G. BARR: Mr. President, I'm redacting all references to you.
TRUMP: What's "redacting?"
A.G. BARR: Well, it's a lot like the Sharpies you use during your executive order signing sessions.
TRUMP: LET ME DO IT! LET ME DO IT!
A.G. BARR: Sir, I'm not actually using a Sharpie, and I can't let you do it, because if I did, it would betray the trust the American people have placed in me as their Attorney General.
ALL: (ROOM ERUPTS IN LAUGHTER)
A.G. BARR: STOP THAT!
TRUMP: I knew I hired this guy for a reason. Can I use that line at one of my rallies?
A.G. BARR: NO, sir, I specifically asked at the start of this meeting that NOTHING leaves this room.
ALL: (MORE LAUGHTER)
TRUMP: You know me, my lips are sealed. I hate leakers more than I hate anyone who isn't me, and I would never leak, even if it was to my advantage.
ALL: LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!
TRUMP: You're getting a little ahead of yourselves, but I love you guys.
KELLYANNE CONWAY: Mr. Attorney General, do I appear in the fake illegal witch hunt report?
TRUMP: OOOOOH...I LIKE that, "fake illegal witch hunt report." Can use that line at one of my rallies?
KELLYANNE CONWAY: You already did, sir...the other night in Grand Rapids.
TRUMP: Yeah...those were good times.
A.G. BARR: Ms. Conway, you do NOT appear in the report.
KELLYANNE CONWAY: (sulking) Aw gee...could you maybe put me in there and then redact me?
ALL: LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!
KELLYANNE CONWAY: HEY!
IVANKA TRUMP: They're not talking about you, they're talking about Hillary.
KELLYANNE CONWAY: Oh! Well, in that case, LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!
ALL: (mass groaning)
IVANKA TRUMP: You have to pay attention and grab the moment, Kellyanne.
A.G. BARR: Ms. Conway, I CANNOT do that. If I were to alter a single word of what Mr. Mueller wrote in his report, it would be HIGHLY unethical.
ALL: (room erupts in laughter)
A.G. BARR: STOP THAT!
DONALD TRUMP JR: He said "unethical!" Heh heh heh heh heh heh!
ERIC TRUMP: Heh heh heh heh heh heh! I need TP for my bunghole!
DONALD TRUMP JR: We're not doing that one now, Eric.
ERIC TRUMP: Aw, shucks.
A.G. BARR: IF I MAY CONTINUE...I am going to redact ALL references to "Peripheral Third Parties," including Donald Trump Jr., Ivanka Trump, and "Snooki" from MTV's "Jersey Shore."
ALL (gasping) SNOOKI?
A.G. BaRR: I'd tell you what he says about her, but I just redacted it.
ALL (except Kellyanne Conway): LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!
IVANKA TRUMP: (to Kellyanne Conway) See? That's what I was talking about. That was a "moment."
KELLYANNE CONWAY: Huh?
A.G. BARR: NOW, on the bright side...
ALL: BRIGHT SIDE! BRIGHT SIDE! BRIGHT SIDE!
KELLYANNE CONWAY: BRIGHT SIDE!
IVANKA TRUMP (to Kellyanne) good, but work on it.
A.G. BARR: ON THE BRIGHT SIDE...Neither Barron Trump nor Tiffany Trump are mentioned in the report.
TRUMP: Who's "Tiffany Trump?" Second cousin? Adoring fan who changed her last name in honor of her favorite president, me?
TIFFANY TRUMP: DAAAAAAAAAAD, I'm your DAUGHTER!
TRUMP: DAUGHTER? Get me COHEN, NOW!
A.G. BARR: Errr....sir, you DO NOT want to do that. Trust me.
>>>>>>>>>>TO BE CONTINUED<<<<<<<<<<
madinmaryland
(64,931 posts)Tommy_Carcetti
(43,181 posts)CDerekGo
(507 posts)Possible that I copy and paste this to my FB?
Miles Archer
(18,837 posts)CDerekGo
(507 posts)TygrBright
(20,759 posts)11 Bravo
(23,926 posts)Miles Archer
(18,837 posts)erronis
(15,241 posts)MyOwnPeace
(16,926 posts)could use you!
Dem2theMax
(9,651 posts)Brother Buzz
(36,423 posts)You have a gift.