"Choice 👏🏼 fucking 👏🏼 matters 👏🏼."

[babylonsister]

Sent to me by my sister...

I had just had our fourth baby. I was at my 6 week checkup when I asked for a referral to have my tubes tied. I was 28 and had 4 kids. The doctor told me no. I was too young. “What if you want kids later on?”

Um. I’m done. “But what if you divorce and want a baby with your new partner?”

Ummmm. I’m 28 with 4 kids- I’M DONE. “Sorry, I just can’t in good conscious let you make such an irrational decision when you are so young.” I remember going home and telling my husband, “that was the strangest appointment I’ve ever been too. He told me I wasn’t able to decide when I was finished having babies?!” I shook it off, not realising the IMPACT that would have on me a mere 20 months later.

Imagine, being in the mentality that you are finished having children, you just attempted to have your tubes tied to be denied, then to find out your pregnant.

Choice 👏🏼 fucking 👏🏼 matters 👏🏼.
Women’s 👏🏼 rights 👏🏼 matter 👏🏼

Do you see the irony here? You can’t have your tubes tied. You can’t have an abortion. You can’t you can’t you can’t you can’t....my choice to have a baby matters. My choice to an abortion matters. My choice to have my tubes tied matters. My choice to give up my baby for adoption matters. My choice to use my body as a sacred vessel for surrogacy matters. My choice is also YOUR choice. When one is removed they all are removed.
So, for all the women who are told they are under 30 and unable to have a tubal ligation, then find themselves pregnant and unable to have a legal abortion- I see you.

To all the women who enjoy sex and get pregnant and are unable to have a legal abortion- I see you too.

To the 16 year old girl who had sex ONE TIME without a condom and got pregnant and doesn’t have access to a legal abortion- I see you too babe.

Choice. Humans rights. Birth rights.
Consent. Respect. It all matters.

[Wounded Bear]

1. Women's rights are human rights...

[genxlib]

2. The writer should send that fucking Doctor a bill for child support

He has no business getting in her business.

[LuvNewcastle]

22. It's almost unbelievable.

I'm flabbergasted that anyone would discourage a woman from using birth control or opting for sterilization. Would they try to stop a man from using a condom? You would think that a doctor would know that the world is already overpopulated and we don't need all these people to continue breeding, especially if they don't want to. All of this stupidity is just mind-boggling!

[maxsolomon]

38. It is almost unbelievable

it is unsourced and anecdotal. it doesn't say where it happened, when, or who the doctor was.

it's a powerful anecdote, but I don't know if it's fiction or truth.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

40. I find it entirely believable. I've read other stories of the same thing

Happening to women. Health professionals may lean on young women coming in to consult about getting a tubal ligation. I’ve read such cases in online forums for abuse victims.

[maxsolomon]

43. Well, the doctor in this story said NO to her request

for a REFERRAL for a procedure that's pretty common and has been widely available for decades in this country. They didn't just "lean on" her.

I don't know how common it is for US doctors to refuse to preform tubal ligations, or under what circumstances they are allowed to do so.

I assume they would want to confirm that the request was a voluntary and informed decision, and there are probably guidelines about how to do have that conversation.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

45. You should read this thread!

Women did and do get leaned on and refused outright.

[maxsolomon]

47. I did. Refusal is the exception, not the rule.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3005997/

[BlancheSplanchnik]

48. Ok. Well, you're talking about the specific situation, I'm generalizing outward.

Being pressured can be as bad as refusal for young and/or timid women.

[Raster]

3. The most direct method for men to control women is to take away...

...a woman's right to control her own body, make her own healthcare decisions, and decide her own reproductive destiny.

[Kaleva]

10. And a lot of women support men who do such.

A majority of white women, election after election, vote Republican.

[Ohiogal]

4. Excellent

Yes yes yes

[maxsolomon]

5. They didn't blink when my mom asked for that after baby 4.

She would have been 31, and it would have been 1969. At a Catholic Hospital. Pre-Roe v Wade, if that matters.

Where is under-30 no-tubal-ligation a policy?

[Hekate]

33. Whenever someone w/ the power to say "no" is allowed to, that's "a policy." Absent LAWS to protect

...women and girls, it will always be so.

Back when girls under 21 were not allowed to obtain prescription contraceptives (diaphragm, IUD, Pill) there was an exception made for those who had already gotten pregnant and given birth. Because I guess they were sluts already.

I hate this barbarity.

[maxsolomon]

46. Hekate, what hospitals/OBGYN practices have that "policy"?

This doctor refused a REFERRAL. That sounds unethical to me.

[Hekate]

49. George W. Bush gave aid and comfort to evangelicals in so many ways. One was "conscience"...

...exemptions for medical care for women. If it offends the "conscience" of a pharmacist to dispense birth control pills, he doesn't have to. If it offends the conscience of a pharmacist to fill a Plan B prescription, he doesn't have to. All up the chain -- from the doctors who prescribe (they don't have to), to the pharmacists who dispense (likewise). Hospitals do not have to perform abortions, nor do they have to refer.

And by the way, as community hospitals around the country closed and consolidated during the Bush years, guess who was left continuing their traditional mission of mercy? Yes, the Catholics. I would have absolutely no problem with that if there were alternatives in the community, but have you checked lately?

I was outraged by the BushCheney administration in so many ways, and the policies regarding contraception and abortion laid groundwork for what's happening now.

"Conscience" my rosy Irish ass.

ETA: look up the Global Gag Order if you really want to choke on your morning coffee

[SamIam715]

6. A very similar story

When I lived in Utah, the teller at my bank (who became a pretty good friend of mine) seemed to always be pregnant. I know she'd already had 6 kids, all girls, and when the last one was born after a difficult 9 months, she understood that she, her doctor and husband agreed to have her tubes tied. 6 was enough, even in Utah.

Just over a year later, she was pregnant again! When I told her I couldn't believe it, she said her doctor and her husband decided her opinion didn't count. I was flabbergasted and of course so was she. Her husband wanted to try for a son. Well, as karma would have it, 5 months later, she delivered another baby, a beautiful, baby girl.

She never returned from maternity leave after deciding her husband could work and support the family without her paycheck. Being as it was Utah, I'm sure that greatly pleased the husband.

I've often wondered what happened to that family and if they were able to stay together. She seemed to be pretty strong and someone I thought could always stand on her own, but perhaps not with that many kids.

[cynatnite]

7. It's mostly male doctors who act like this...

I've watched young male doctors say nearly the exact thing in the late 80's. It hasn't changed all that much.

One woman told the doctor she'd find one who'd do it after she had her twins boys. They were numbers 2 and 3 kids for her.

[Arkansas Granny]

8. I wish I could rec this more than once. Women's rights are being eroded day by day.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

9. Too many men want forced pregnancies and no child support. Love the fetus & hate the child, again.nt

[Soph0571]

11. ALL OF THIS x 1000

K&fucking R

[BigmanPigman]

12. I was 25 and went to Planned Parenthood and had one for $99.

It was a two step thing. Women and men(probably the partners of some of the women) watched a 2 min film about the decision then spoke with an employee to discuss the decision. It took about 30 seconds for me to say why I wanted my tubes tied and I was told, "That is the most logical reasoning I have heard" and I was scheduled for the procedure...no problem at all. This was in 1987 too.

That is how it is supposed to be for all women every where. It is MY FUCKING DECISION SINCE IT IS MY BODY.

[smirkymonkey]

13. Hear, hear!

[ohhellyes]

14. Discuss these things with your doctor when choosing a doctor.

my doctor tied my tubes when I was 30 and had no kids. His nurse refused to notarize the authorization I had signed. Sometimes women are the problem, not men.

[demigoddess]

15. back in the 70s heard about a doctor who when asked to tie tubes of a woman

HE ONLY TIED ONE, figured when she got pregnant again she would welcome it and be happy for the 'accident'. He got sued. Hope she won.

[murielm99]

16. My story comes from the early seventies.

I had been on the pill for the first year of my marriage. I went to the doctor for a checkup and to renew my prescription.

The doctor told me no. He said that a year was enough time to adjust to marriage and that it was time for me to start my family.

I was stunned. I found a new doctor.

[Lithos]

17. Whoa

As a male, I'm so f*'in clueless about this kind of reality. I read these stories and continually remain gobsmacked about everything. My own issues about control of what happens to me pale in comparison.

A person's body is a person's body. Sex should remain a consensual choice, a freedom and not a mandatory determined by a man for a woman. How friggin' hard is this to understand?

L-

[volstork]

18. I once tied the tubes of a 21 y/o woman.

She adamantly told me she was 100% certain that she never wanted children. Her choice. Who am I to deny her that choice?

[Duppers]

24. 2 of my friends did this.

Made the decision very early that they never wanted children, had their tubes tied, and haven't regretted their decision.

I have one child. Birth control baby!

[llmart]

19. My story is similar...

I was 25 and had a boy and a girl, exactly four years apart (planned that way). I was 100% sure I wanted no more children, so I asked my Catholic doctor if he'd do a tubal ligation. This was major surgery back in 1975. He told me none of the doctors in their group would do one because they were Catholic. So, I found another doctor. Wasn't that difficult. The ob/gyns were mostly all men back then. I did have to have my husband's permission. Now, isn't that special?

I heard all the same lines about what happens if one of my children dies? What happens if I get divorced and remarried? Blah, blah, blah. None of those arguments made one bit of difference to me.

I have never once regretted having this done.

[certainot]

20. 2 ways to punish GOP - starting with 3 universities in GA that helped do this and can be protested

those schools broadcast sports on 14 limbaugh stations. they give them cred and help them attract advertisers. all those stations follow the limbaugh lead. the local blowhards on those stations have to be pro republican and anti choice or they lose their jobs.

from republiconradio.org

GEORGIA 14 Georgia 7, Georgia Tech 5, Georgia Southern 2

if GA anti choice cons paid $1000/hr to support and elect republicans those stations would be worth $1,050,000/WEEK FREE to them (1000x15hrs/dayx5 =$75,000/ station)

and think about what difference that made in the stacey abrams 'defeat' - how many points was that worth? in florida there are about 20 limbaugh stations that depend on florida universities like that - working againsnt gillum.. and in the next election?

students at those universities can protest right on campus - those schools have no excuse to keep supporting trump, global warming denial, and anti-choice motherfuckers. local GOP will freak out. all their pols know the importance of being able to ride limbaugh's/talk radio's trail of lies as well as RWTRs invisibility to the left.

anyone anywhere can record programs and podcasts on those stations and can use artificial intelligence-enhanced transcription such as at sonix.ai for $5/hr, and list advertisers with contact info with very little listening required. the companies that are helping republicans with this shit can be associated directly with the crap they sponsor.

when the ad industry realizes they're going to have to stop bundling advertisers onto those huge stations and start asking them all if they actually want to support anti-choice, trump, global warming denial they'll have to start applying actual market demand and it will kill the 20-1 monopoly. the ad industry will kill trump putin talk radio to be able to get their clients onto those huge radio stations without getting trashed. it's stoprush x 100.

from republiconradio.org

Artificial intelligence now makes it very easy to list talk radio advertisers
1) Record
Quicktime, on every Mac, is a basic app for recording audio streams. While playing the stream turn on Quicktime, go to 'File' and 'New Audio Recording'. Turn on the recorder and when you're done save it. With Quicktime it is necessary to have volume on. Other recording apps will allow recording multiple streams at the same time, pre scheduling, and editing.
2) Transcribe
At $5/hr and under, Sonix.ai may be the cheapest, quickest, and easiest transcription service. An hour takes minutes and is very accurate. When it's done they send an email with a link to the transcription in their editing program where it can be downloaded or tweaked and corrected on their site as you listen. It can also be stored there. The monthly subscription is $15 but they offer a 30 minutes free trial.
3) Search for "DOT" to identify advertisers
Live recordings of radio streams include advertisements and most announce web sites transcribed as "so-and-so-company dot com". Most advertisers can be found by searching for the word "dot". Sometimes the ads provided phone numbers. The Sonix text editor allows you to highlight and add notes. Each company or quote can get a note that is listed and numbered. The notes can then be copied and pasted elsewhere.
4) Contact
Most websites provide phone numbers and email addresses specifically for contact by potential customers. Complaint emails may get further up the chain of command than a phone call, and there's a lasting written record for employees to pass around. It may also be easier for sympathetic staff to pass on a comment to a boss in email form than personally.

[Totally Tunsie]

34. Ironic (isn't it?) that Rush Limbaugh has been married four times

and yet has no children. Is it him? Is it physical/medical?

It is, for mankind at least, a very happy circumstance to be sure! The world needs no other Limbaughs!

[certainot]

35. yeah, the guy most influential in the country on all such matters has no clue

which is why trump paraded him around the golf course after the mueller report came out, saying, "if you want to desert me better talk to to the guy on 600 radio stations"

[2naSalit]

21. It Sure As Fuck Does!

[Delmette2.0]

23. 1982 male doctor saved my sanity.

I asked my Dr.in Oklahoma to tie my tubes. He didn't hesitate and said "you're the one who gets pregnant. It's your decision." Thank you Dr. Oliver, one more child would have been too much.

[milestogo]

25. Any health professional who is not comfortable doing a legal procedure should refer that patient

to a professional who will do it. So if a doctor doesn't want to tie the tubes of a patient under 30 or do an abortion or prescribe birth control - they should make sure that they can refer the patient and give them some options.

[Solly Mack]

26. K&R

[sandensea]

27. Your doctor had the kind of self-righteous bullshit you see in Latin America all the time

I'm sorry to hear you had to endure that; you handled it great though.

He should be deported to El Salvador, where his approach to women's reproductive health is par for the course.

[maxsolomon]

44. It wasn't the OP's doctor

it was 'shared from the internet'.

It could be a story from Latin America for all we know. there's no time or place, or even gender of the doctor in the story.

[mountain grammy]

28. My own son, who I raised to know better

said to me, "I don't think it's right for a woman to have more than one abortion. I don't think it should be birth control."

I said to my son, it is none of your business if a woman has a dozen abortions. It doesn't affect you, it doesn't affect me. It's literally none of our business, and it's certainly none of the government's business.

It's all about controlling women and we all know it.

[corbettkroehler]

31. Fabulous Rebuttal! (n/t)

[corbettkroehler]

29. Barefoot And Pregnant Is Their Ideal

Try as I might, I can't understand why so many men are fearful of women's reproductive freedom. Worse still, the women who enable this horrible form of gender politics are even more to blame, in my book.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

30. "I can't understand why so many men are fearful of women's reproductive freedom."

Because if they can't control reproduction, they can't control the person.

[corbettkroehler]

32. You're Right But I Don't Understand That Form Of Control

Maybe I'm too evolved but subjugating people does not appeal to me as an overall concept. I don't see the allure. I guess a great many others do.

[MicaelS]

41. As a man, let me be blunt.

Since a lot of men want to fuck around, or are already doing so, on "their woman", they are terrified they will be cuckolded if she was on good birth control. And enjoying some other man more than him.

[corbettkroehler]

42. Thank You - That Helped

This outrageous effort to control women clicks for me now, thanks to you.

[JAD]

36. Hit them where it hurts!

Alabama manufactures the following cars: Honda, Hyundai, and Mercedes. Email the manufacturer and tell them why you won't buy their vehicles. I am in the market for a new car but I will not purchase any cars manufactured in Alabama. I will also boycott any shows or movies made in Georgia. Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't HGTV headquartered in Georgia? I will start to compile a list of companies to email. Make any emails short and sweet, copy and paste if necessary. Refer to the law just passed in those states. Two or three sentences,at the most, will get your point across.

[SammyWinstonJack]

37. At 25 y/o in 1977 I had my tubes tied after my 2nd son was delivered

by a cesarean section. I was given the same reason for NOT having it done. Didn't care and told the doctor to get it done before closing me up. He did.

[CousinIT]

39. Niece had tubes tied at 28. 1980s. No kids. Married, then divorced. On BC since 16. Smoked.

She has since quit smoking. Doc thought it was dangerous for her to be on BC all that time + smoking -- but he didn't refuse to give them to her. She had a good OB/GYN.

He was very reluctant to do the ligation she wanted after her divorce until she found an article in a magazine explaining why women who don't want kids are NOT "selfish" and all the other crap they're called. She pulled it out, highlighted parts of it and sent it to his office. Then she went in later and talked to him and he agreed to do it.

She's told me many times she never EVER regretted her decision. She's almost 60 now. She never wanted kids. And happily never had them.

My advice to anyone facing this resistance: Find another OB/GYN. Some of them will listen to women - even younger unmarried or divorced women - who tell them they DO NOT want kids (or any more kids).

You have every right to control your body, your life and your future. Don't take "NO" for an answer.

NEVER take "NO" for an answer. It's your decision and only your decision. Refuse to allow anyone else to control or interfere with it.

I know you know all this but - just don't give up. Stand up for yourself because it's your right and you know what you want.