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Wed May 15, 2019, 05:29 PM

Deutsche Bank Begins Removing Possessions From White House After Trump Defaults On Loan

WASHINGTON—As the inconsolable president stood outside in his threadbare robe in the early hours of Wednesday morning, employees sent by Deutsche Bank began removing possessions from the White House after Donald Trump defaulted on his loans, sources confirmed. “Come on, guys, just give me a couple more weeks and I can get the money together—no, not the TV!” said the tear-stricken commander in chief as repossession officers from the German bank carried items including the Resolute Desk, a portrait of Andrew Jackson, and his golf clubs out of the White House, informing him that the bank could no longer wait for him to pay back millions of dollars of debt. “Not the china, that was Reagan’s! Please, you guys know I’m good for it. I have the funds, you have to believe me, I’ve got them tied up in other things. I just have to move some money around. Wait, that’s my favorite chair! If my wife gets home and sees that her beautiful clothes and the Winston Churchill bust are gone, she’s gonna kill me! I’ll get the money—please don’t leave me with nothing.” At press time, the sobbing president was standing barefoot in the empty Oval Office after the Deutsche Bank employees had removed the slippers from his feet.

https://politics.theonion.com/deutsche-bank-begins-removing-possessions-from-white-ho-1834776775

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Response to Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin (Original post)

Wed May 15, 2019, 05:33 PM

1. If only!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Response to Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin (Original post)

Wed May 15, 2019, 05:36 PM

2. It wouldn't surprise me if he were to attempt to

Offer US property as collateral for his personal loans.

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Response to Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin (Original post)

Wed May 15, 2019, 05:49 PM

3. They should repo the Trump Tower on Fifth Avenue NYC

Chump could never offer the White House as collateral, could he? Well COULD HE??

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Response to FakeNoose (Reply #3)

Wed May 15, 2019, 06:15 PM

5. I'm surprised that none of his buildings have been repo'ed, but I bet some of them have liens...

out the wazoo!

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Response to SWBTATTReg (Reply #5)

Wed May 15, 2019, 06:21 PM

7. Maybe. Or maybe Trump just sells another overpriced condo to an oligarch needing to

launder his stolen wealth.

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Response to Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin (Original post)

Wed May 15, 2019, 05:52 PM

4. Even if it's just a joke, it's fun to read it and visualize it happening one day

Not the details of the story (that would be too good to be true) but either him leaving quietly or under protest.

We would never, ever, ever have predicted the headlines we're reading now; maybe someday the newspapers will be full of good headlines like this.

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Response to Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin (Original post)

Wed May 15, 2019, 06:20 PM

6. I would freakin' LOVE watching this!

RESIST!

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Response to Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin (Original post)

Wed May 15, 2019, 06:27 PM

8. I'd love to see him on skid row, like Mel Brooks' real estate mogul in 'Life Stinks'.

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Response to Mc Mike (Reply #8)

Wed May 15, 2019, 06:48 PM

11. My Dream Is Him Giving Hummers Behind McDonald's for Happy Meals!

 

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Response to DoctorJoJo (Reply #11)

Thu May 16, 2019, 03:54 AM

13. I picture him with a cardboard sign

"will tweet nazi garbage for food $".

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Response to Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin (Original post)

Wed May 15, 2019, 06:30 PM

9. Just like Henry VIII's Woolsey. The king took the plates off the tables....

Too funny!

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Response to Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin (Original post)

Wed May 15, 2019, 06:32 PM

10. wow

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Response to Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin (Original post)

Wed May 15, 2019, 08:20 PM

12. I got caught on an Onion article earlier..

a headline that read, Bolton says an attack on Saudi Arabia is an attack on all Americans. Doesn't that sound completely real? In fact, I wouldn't be surprised to hear the walrus utter those exact words by the end of the week.

Meantime, this one is funny!

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