I paid for my 16 year old sister's abortion in 1975. One of my best choices.

[no_hypocrisy]

Last edited Fri May 17, 2019, 08:32 PM - Edit history (1)

My sister was sexually active and found herself pregnant one month after her 16th birthday. Of course she didn't use birth control, but then again, she was 16 and couldn't have visited a gynecologist (at least someone who didn't know our father, another doctor).

I gave her $214* for the procedure. She had to have it in New York State, Long Island. Her boyfriend, age 20, went with her. She was fine. I was in another state, at college.

She left her boyfriend about six months after that. Because our father never found out, she went on to a good life. She enrolled in the same college where I was enrolled. She met a very nice man and married him and remains happily married 30+ years later. Because of a sperm issue, they couldn't have children. But they have four rescue dogs and that's enough for them.

I never told on her. Not even when I was totally furious at her and she used our parents against me.

I could have had a niece or nephew aged 43 years old now I suppose. But my sister had nobody else to turn to in her hour of need. We were just lucky that she was able to decide.


* $214 was big bucks in '75. Minimal wage was $2.10. It took a long time to save up that money as I only worked 20 hours a week.

[blueinredohio]

1. I would do it too as a matter of fact I would help someone now if they needed it.

Bless you for helping your sister when she needed you most.

[malaise]

2. You're a good person

[no_hypocrisy]

3. I try . . . . .

Thanks and love,

n_h

[malaise]

4. One of my closest friends got pregnant

She was 23 and she and the guy decided to get married.
When I told mom that my friend was pregnant she asked me if I was going the same route and I told her no - I'm on the pill.
You know what shocked me - my deeply Catholic mother told me to recommend the same for my youngest sister. Mom compartmentalized very well - her daughters came first.

[alittlelark]

5. I have a very similar story with a sibling........

[mahannah]

6. Well done.

[AlexSFCA]

7. Thanks to you she had a great life

and not ruined somebody else’s life. The issue of abortion is so annoying. We are talking about it as it is something to be ashamed of. Parents of 16 y.o. are more likely to be mad about pregnancy than abortion (they would be the first to recommend it). We need easy and free access to morning after pills, and abortions should always be covered by insurance. It’s not some cosmetic procedure. If viagra is covered by insurance, abortions must too. In fact they should be mandated to do so via federal law. Women who had abortions need to start coming out in public now. Not only there is nothing to be ashamed of, they should be proud of themselves making this often difficult choice. 6 weeks or 16 weeks fetus is not a human yet by any stretch of imagination. I loved ‘bodies revealed’ exhibition that displays real human fetuses at various stages of development. For anyone whose fetus was diagnosed for terminal conditions or dawn syndrome, it is irresponsible to continue pregnancy and the doctors should always advise termination (most of them do).

[JHB]

8. $214 in 1975 would be equivalent to a little over $1000 now...

Definitely not chump change, not for college students and not for a whole lot of other people.

[forgotmylogin]

9. Everybody makes mistakes.

It sounds like the boyfriend couldn't chip in, and therefore would have been no use supporting a child as well.

[SunSeeker]

10. An abortion is a blessung to a woman who needs it. nt

[eggplant]

11. This is why abortion funds are so important.

(see my .sig for a link to find a local fund.)

[jmbar2]

12. I paid for one for an undocumented woman in Japan

She was from Burma which at the time was much more dangerous that even today. She was living with a boyfriend in limbo - couldn't work legally, couldn't qualify for health insurance. Her situation was so precarious, I didn't hesitate.

[Rambling Man]

14. You are "true blue"

[friend of m and j]

15. I guess i am pro-choice.

I have 2 daughters from my first marriage and both of them got pregnant. The oldest was still in college and unmarried when she called me (I had been divorced from her mother for several years) and told me she was pregnant but had told anyone except me. She came down to the city where I was living for a visit as I requested. She had always been very active in her church and I was surprised she was pregnant. She told me she had not had sex with anyone until she went to "spring break" and got drunk and had sex with a guy she knew from school. She said he was a nice guy and she liked him but did not love him and had no interest in marrying him. She didn't even want him to know she was pregnant. We talked about it and I told her I would support whatever decision she made. She went to a Planned Parent clinic and talked to them and made an appointment for an abortion. I told her honor her desire to keep it all a secret. She stayed with me and my 2nd wife while she recovered.

After graduating from college she married a fine young man and had 2 wonderful kids. I don't know if the abortion influenced her career, but she became a teacher specializing in Pre-kinder and kindergarten.

2 or 3 years later her sister got pregnant while still in high school. When I tried to have a talk with her she told me she had already made her decision. She was going to the ***Home for unwed mothers. She could could complete her schooling and graduated from HS while living there. I I very much wanted to tell her that her sister had had an abortion and that she should talk with her, but because of the promise to the older daughter that her abortion would be a secret so I didn't disclose it.

But the younger was very mature in making her decision and left a letter at the Home For Unwed mothers explaining to her baby how hard it was to give up her baby but she knew she as a16 year old mother couldn't give him the life she wanted him to have and she trusted the Home... to find him good parents.

i think both daughters made the right decisions.

[cannabis_flower]

16. I have a friend who had an abortion because

she was unmarried, already had another child who was 4 years old at the time and couldn't afford another child. She didn't want to give it up for adoption because she was concerned that her 4 year old would think that she might give him away if he was bad.

[musicman65]

17. You did

what you thought was right,,,,guess what,,,,you were