Eggs to be legally reclassified as chicken in Alabama restaurants

[mia]

...The decision was made after a group of pro-animal life activists put pressure on the state government.

‘The moment an egg passes through a hen’s vagina, it becomes a chicken. To treat them any differently would be cruel and should be punished by God,’ said Billie Jean Bob Cooter.

The move is expected to cause mass confusion at eateries. Customers who ask for chicken could get either the traditional interpretation of chicken or the new classification.

‘Customers will not be allowed to differentiate between the two. That would be bigoted and wrong,’ said Senator Bob Billy Jean Cooter....

http://www.dailysquat.com/eggs-to-be-legally-reclassified-as-chicken-in-alabama-restaurants/?utm_campaign=shareaholic&utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=socialnetwork&fbclid=IwAR2cN33-BRb4w2_dAA7J295lUdCjkQm8DGyLyLZzKGeJcG71gvlQw2CjW2k

[Me.]

1. Is This A Joke

[ooky]

2. It's a good joke.

I laughed.

[Me.]

4. Considering It Was Cited As Alabama

nothing is out of the realm of reality

[ck4829]

47. Indeed

[Archae]

3. Satire site.

[Me.]

7. There Is No Such Thing As Satire These Days

something else traitor trump has ruined

[zentrum]

13. Yup. Only irony lives on.

And tragedy. And farce.

[mia]

5. It's meant to be a joke, unless...

3 Morally-Sobering Reasons Vegans Don’t Eat Eggs

Vegans avoid all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose. So of course, vegans do not eat eggs.

“But why not”? I hear you ask. “Eating an egg doesn't kill a chicken, and it's only going to waste, right”?

Wrong.

This is a common misconception, and the reason the consumption of eggs is still a hotly contested topic by meat eaters, and even some vegetarians....

WARNING: If you're sensitive to animal cruelty, I must warn you that this post contains video clips that will upset you.

https://www.theplantway.com/why-vegans-dont-eat-eggs/

[cwydro]

8. Eggs can only become chickens if there's a rooster involved.

My five ladies lay daily. No roosters here, so the eggs won’t ever be chickens.

Good eggs too!

[Dennis Donovan]

10. No peckers?

I couldn't resist.

[cwydro]

21. Lol, they're nothing but trouble.

I tried, but gave up on the peckers.

The ladies seem happier too.

[erronis]

22. You mean donald (grab them by the p....)'s friend? Peckers are a dime a dozen.

And they're nothing but trouble.

[Collimator]

14. Thanks for that confirmation.

I had wondered whether or not hens and other birds laid eggs in the way that human women ovulate. With no male involved, there is still an egg, but it cannot turn into a fetus of any kind.

Mind you, I do know that chickens don't have vaginas but rather cloacas. What I find fascinating is that roosters, like many male birds, do not have a standard type penis, but actually have something like a cloaca as well. Some male birds do have a penis, but given the male chicken is often referred to as a cock, there is a certain irony in its anatomy.

[NickB79]

38. Yep, tons of irony there

If we wanted to nickname our penises after a bird, we should be calling them drake's, a male duck. All you have to do is Google 'duck penis' to see why 😲

[JustFiveMoreMinutes]

31. LOL! You're talking BIOLOGY, Alabama doesn't KNOW Biology so the bill could stand! HA!

[trev]

27. I thought this was a hilarious joke.

"Senator Bob Billy Jean Cooter." Priceless!

[Me.]

32. And I

didn't place it beyond the possibility that one of their state senators had such a name per Dukes of H., it being Alabama and all

[trev]

41. heh

After that show, Ben Jones became a Democratic politician. So I guess your surmising has some merit.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Jones_(American_actor_and_politician)

[PufPuf23]

36. Once upon a time I had a girl friend from the South who

called her private bits her "cooter" thus expanding my vocabulary.

Have only been to Alabama once long ago but many there have a mind wired in ways hard to comprehend.

[trev]

40. Never been to Alabama myself

but I spent a good amount of time in Georgia when I was in the army. I was amazed at how many of the locals despised the military--not only did I think of the South as very patriotic, but without Fort Gordon Augusta would have been nothing but a golf tourist town.

Don't know what it's like there today. I hope their attitudes have changed.

[tblue37]

43. Obviously. The name "Cooter" makes that clear. But it references the anti-abortion laws. nt

[jcgoldie]

6. This is awesome!

Thank you!

[TheBlackAdder]

11. Shit! My cat and dogs were pregnant and I had to buy tags for all of their embryos at $20 a pop.

[JHB]

12. Cutting the gordian knot of the "which came first" problem, I see.

[keithbvadu2]

17. First?

[ck4829]

48. Ha

[cab67]

15. I was going to comment on its accuracy before realizing it's satire

Birds, reptiles, and egg-laying mammals don’t have vaginas the way therian mammals do. Gametes and waste emerge from the same opening (the cloaca).

As my developmental biology professor used to say, such animals do’t know whether they’re coming or going.

[pandr32]

18. That last line cracked me up!

[erronis]

23. Agree. And sometimes I feel that way too. Old age, etc....

[OxQQme]

16. OK then, how would you ask for them over easy?

Or scrambled?

[samnsara]

19. omg i cant tell fact from fiction

[Mendocino]

20. Senator

Bob Billy Jean Cooter

[tinrobot]

24. So... an Egg Salad Sandwich is also a Chicken Salad Sandwich?

That's gonna make menus awfully confusing.

[PatrickforO]

26. Yeah, especially if you like egg salad better than chicken salad!

[ck4829]

49. Right

[PatrickforO]

25. Funny.

Mass confusion indeed. Especially the use of the surname 'cooter' which is a more gentle way of saying redneck. Very cute.

[tblue37]

44. Yes, but "cooter" has another slang meaning, too. (Think of what Trump likes to grab.) nt

[PatrickforO]

45. Oh. Sorry.

[democratisphere]

28. What a f'ed-up country this is.

Last edited Sun May 26, 2019, 01:46 PM - Edit history (1)

Soft boiled, hard boiled or scrambled chicken?

[ck4829]

50. LOL

[question everything]

29. Thanks. I needed that

[NurseJackie]

30. Oh dear!

[stillcool]

33. sad me...

has no sense of humor.

[PufPuf23]

34. But hens do not have vaginas (nor lips) nt

[Backseat Driver]

35. But, but...what if those white babies-to-be come from a duck or other bird creature???

Then, too, what about the brown babies to be??? Are they thought to be inferior in Alabama and other Red Cock-adoodle-doo states???

We have domestic ducks on our community pond. I've read they don't often go "broody" and hatch young; furthermore, in general, they are poor parents who allow their kids to go unsupervised, so we've run a rescue and release project the last couple years. Thing is, I can't find where the girls have been layin' this year. I know they are mature and one actually has a nest probably pipping next week, so where be all the eggies from the other 6 females? Are they releasing them in the water?

[Sophiegirl]

51. I get green eggs from my farmers' market

Would they be considered illegal aliens and thus deported?

[magicarpet]

37. Used Tampons and old dirty used prophylactics are now called children by...

... the extreme Fascist "Christian" Right.

[underpants]

39. Paul Simon wrote "Mother and hike reunion"after seeing a dish by that name on Chinese restaurant men

[UpInArms]

42. Thanks for that

I love satire

[ck4829]

46. Kick

[tymorial]

52. Poe's law dictates that someone will believe this and call the state offices.

I guarantee it.