Trump Says He Would Be Much Better Princess Than Meghan Markle

[JimGinPA]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - Donald J. Trump raised eyebrows on both sides of the Atlantic on Saturday by claiming that he would be a “much better princess” than Meghan Markle.

Calling the Duchess of Sussex “a nasty woman,” Trump said, “If I were a princess, I would not be nasty. People would say, ‘Donald Trump is the nicest princess.’

Trump added that “all a princess has to do is sit on a throne, and I would be very good at that also.”

“I sit between ten and twelve hours a day, minimum,” he said.

Finally, Trump said that, as Princess, he would do “a way better job at waving at people than Nasty Meghan does.”

“Meghan Markle’s waving is a disgrace,” he said. “I have the best waves"

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-says-he-would-be-much-better-princess-than-meghan-markle

[50 Shades Of Blue]

1. Can hear him saying it!

[no_hypocrisy]

2. Trump would have found *something* insulting to say about Meghan Markle.

As he is unabashedly racist, he's likely "disgusted" by the fact that she is biracial and the Royal Family has mixed blood in it.

[FBaggins]

3. I'd make that trade right now. Nt

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

5. I don't think Harry would be too keen on your deal. nt

[democratisphere]

4. Don't even want to think what his baby(ies) might look like.

[cstanleytech]

11. Just picture Trump wearing a diaper and holding a rattle in one hand.

Edit: Not to mention sucking on a pacifier.

[UTUSN]

6. Bwah HAH!1

[underpants]

7. Me too. Knew it was Borowitz but actually laughed out loud.

[bobbieinok]

8. Title of post actually seemed a possible event report. O woe, o woe is us!!

[HuskyOffset]

9. Nobody knows more about Princessing than Trump does! (NT)

[keithbvadu2]

10. Sparkle Trump

[dalton99a]

12. Kick

[pdsimdars]

13. Little Miss Princess Snowflake, going over his fabric swatches . . . what a sweet picture.

[Generic Other]

14. A very stable genius princess

The best hair.

[Blue Owl]

15. He's got the hands and vanity part going for him...

[marieo1]

16. None of DJT's business

Tell me, why doesn't DJT just shut his blankety, blankety mouth. He is a total disgrace. What business is it of his who anyone marries?
I don't care if he is our Pres - he stole it or he would be just another crook!!

[smirkymonkey]

17. The family who thinks they are royalty goes to visit actual royalty.

I can just imagine what a shitshow this is going to be.

[Cha]

18. I thought it was real until I saw Borowitz.

[TheBlackAdder]

19. It's a shame that Vladimir Putin is not a prince.