Trump goes to London to visit the Queen (my screenplay)
Prince Charles is promising not to be a meddling monarch and will refrain from mentioning his interests in climate change or urban blight when Trump visits. In other words, all they will have to talk about is the garden. Camilla will surely be slightly inebriated and probably hilarious trying to understand what Melania is saying about the peonies. Camilla to Charles (whisper): "Did she just say he likes to pee on her knees?"
Prince Harry will be glaring daggers at Trump as will Prince William. Both will wash their hands with hand sanitizer after meeting him.
And this is just tea.
At the State Banquet, Queen Elizabeth will eat like it's her last meal in order to hasten the end of the ordeal. Sitting between Melania and Trump, she'll stare stoically down the grand banquet table with its 15 pieces of silver precisely placed at each plate setting and remind herself that she mustn't let him touch her or pinch any of her jewels, and she should have the butler carefully count all the silver the Trump family used after they leave. She will wonder if the Emperor of Japan really did abdicate to avoid having to meet Trump. She will wonder if she should have done the same.
Mostly, she will be wishing she could be in her own rooms watching telly.
God Save the Queen.
= new reply since forum marked as read
...but you self deleted before I could. Kudos on this OP! 
...especially Queen Victoria. The grandmother of European royalty! 
