Broken: Trump Farts at Table

[MineralMan]

At State Dinner - US Presidential Aromatic Faux Pas

London - It was reported today by an individual close to President Trump during the Buckingham Palace state dinner that the US President broke wind audibly more than once while seated near Her Majesty. Dr. Nigel Wilson of the NHS stated that such a thing is quite common in older gentlemen of expansive girth and is a hazard in close quarters, affecting the sensibilities and olfactory systems of those nearby. According to Dr. Wilson, "One simply must expect the escape of gasses when near such an odious person. It is a common hazard."

Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, would not comment on this story, as one would expect of someone of her fastidious respect for proper etiquette.

of course...

[Docreed2003]

1. Lmao...thanks MM

[True Dough]

2. We must assume

you write of this condition from experience?

[MineralMan]

3. I am not a portly gentleman.

However, I have been near many such people, and recognize the issue.

[llmart]

4. What makes you think this is sarcasm?

It's more likely that it's the truth.

[MineralMan]

6. That's entirely possible.

In fact, it wouldn't surprise me one bit.

It's just a headline I'd love to see.

[leftyladyfrommo]

5. Actually that was him talking out of his ass. nt

[MineralMan]

7. And eloquently, to boot.

[Firestorm49]

9. Good one.

[mindem]

27. Yes,

and it was the most intelligent thing he said all day.

[Gothmog]

8. yet another way that trump has embarrassed our country

[MineralMan]

10. One of so many ways.

And he remains unaware that the entire world sees him as a coarse-mannered buffoon.

[magicarpet]

23. That should be....

And eloquently,.. to hoot,.. or to toot,.. rather than to boot.

[IndyOp]

11. It really could be a true story -- look at the toons:

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212164119

[mitch96]

12. Now THAT would be a great doctored vid.. Trump farting next to the Queen..

Better than the faux Pelosi drunk vid methinks...
m

[MineralMan]

13. Sadly, I have no skills in video.

Besides, I don't think there's any raw video from that state dinner that would lend itself to "customization."

[mitch96]

40. " I have no skills in video."

Me neither... We need a 20 something to do it!!!
m

[honest.abe]

14. Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?

[MineralMan]

16. What a wonderful movie that was!

The broadest sort of comedy, but how could anyone not enjoy it?

[honest.abe]

17. One of the best!

[ProudLib72]

15. One has to imagine that his personal Eau de Hamberders is worse

He was sweating and farting the whole time. Stink lines were visibly rising from him!

[brewens]

36. The Queen probably had to burn the clothes she was wearing after dinner. n/t

[Initech]

18. I would honestly not be surprised if this happened in real life.

These days it's really hard to tell real life from fiction.

[MineralMan]

19. Oh, it probably did, but wouldn't make the news.

I suspect that our POTUS has FLATUS that needs to be released on a frequent basis. Our journalists, though, probably would not mention it, leaving the news to be released by satirists, both professional and amateur.

[MineralMan]

20. Alternative Headline: POTUS FLATUS STARTLES ROYALS!

[Tipperary]

21. Lol.

[Turin_C3PO]

22. Fantastic!

I can easily see him doing that.

[MineralMan]

24. You're too kind!

[lpbk2713]

25. He immediately pointed to Melanoma.

Shook his head and said "NOT ME!" .

Classy guy.

[MineralMan]

35. That trick never works.

[watoos]

26. I'm guessing his normal smell is sulfur anyway,

Remember when Chavez spoke at the UN right after Bush and complained of the sulfur smell?

[Throck]

28. Who pulled his finger?

[SeattleVet]

29. "Me dear Sir, *nobody* farts before the Queen!"

'I'm so sorry! I didn't know it was her turn.'

[MineralMan]

34. Well played.

[jcgoldie]

30. He just belched actually...

...but no-one can tell his mouth from his asshole...

[MineralMan]

33. True enough.

[sop]

31. The animated statue of Trump sitting on a toilet out on the street was farting quite a bit, too

[MineralMan]

32. So I understand...

[Quemado]

37. The Winds of War

That's Trump trying to sell a war on Iran to the Queen.

[Laffy Kat]

38. A British slang term for fart is "Trump" nt

[MineralMan]

39. Yes, indeed it is.