Today's Internet? Don't even THINK of awarding it to ANYONE other than Mr. PATTON OSWALT.

[Miles Archer]

Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump

It is amazing that I can be at 51% with Zogby when the Fake & Corrupt News is almost 100% against me. Great job Mr. President!

5:49 PM · Aug 27, 2019·Twitter for iPhone

Link to tweet

Patton Oswalt
@pattonoswalt

The shitty old woman whose kids and grandkids won’t visit just bought herself a “World’s Greatest Grandma” mug at CVS.

Link to tweet

[smirkymonkey]

1. Bravo, Patton!

First of all, Zogby is well known as the worst, most inaccurate pollster in the country, secondly what is with complimenting himself in the third person? He is such a head-case!

He would be doing himself a huge favor if he would just shut up and refrained from tweeting for a while. He's just digging his own grave at this point. He sounds more unstable with every communication he issues.

[Grokenstein]

2. "Great job Mr. President!"

Christ wept. Nothing says "stable genius" like fellating yourself in public.

[11 Bravo]

16. Trump hasn't even SEEN his dick for 40 years.

Auto-fellatio is probably out of the question.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

3. It's a funny statement but how does it

Apply to trump's crazy? I must be dense.

[LuckyCharms]

6. The old woman congratulates herself despite being terrible in the eyes of others.

Same thing that Trump does.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

9. Like they said on the Netflix doc on him - his days in NYC - "He is the BEST

self-promoter that every existed."

Yet, to me, it ALL goes back to his dismantling of the press corps and traditional press conferences where a president stands up there and explains and answers hard questions. It's part of the job to answer to the American people. He never has to do that. It's an utter travesty and the press oddly lets him get away with it. You would think they'd be harping every day. If I was running CNN or MSNBC I'd have a clock ticker on the screen - "Days since the President had a proper press conference."

[FakeNoose]

11. I agree it is a travesty and it can never happen again

No President should ever be allowed this free soapbox like Chump has on Twitter. There should never be presidential tweeting again, and the unsecured cellphone must also be forbidden. All calls in and out need to be logged if not recorded. All written communications need to be preserved for presidential archives. Let's get back to normal as soon as possible, shall we?

[Totally Tunsie]

12. Exactly!

[CrispyQ]

15. I didn't get it either.

[Paladin]

4. Touche, Patton Oswalt. (nt)

[spanone]

5. K&R...

[Kingofalldems]

7. Kick and rec this for Trump and his secret pals.

[George II]

8. I love his humor.

[madaboutharry]

10. His twitter feed tonight reads like it's

from a case study in a psychiatric text book.

[Totally Tunsie]

13. I finally figured out why Chump doesn't like dogs.

He's exponentially jealous that they are able to tongue-bathe themselves in ways that Chump is unable to do to himself.

[TlalocW]

14. Man, am I wrong

Or did Zogby used to be the shit? I haven't heard of it for a long time.

TlalocW

[localroger]

17. And the CVS receipt printer was almost out of paper

...so the 4 meter long CVS receipt has a red line down it which makes it usable as a tie.