Worried bout my reputation

[47of74]

Dear Abby,

I am a resident of Iowa. My parents live in a suburb of Miami. They have recently been arrested for selling crack cocaine to a kindergarten class and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Miami. I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Texas for murder. The other is currently in jail in Alabama on charges of incest.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Los Angeles and indeed is still a part-time "working girl." We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiance utilizing her knowledge of the industry working as the manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the streets and hopefully the heroin.

My problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who is a strong Trump supporter?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

[Mike Nelson]

1. LOL...

... perfect for Facebook and Twitter!

[Cirque du So-What]

2. Oldie but goodie

[lunatica]

3. Give her some heroin first

Then tell her. She’ll think she dreamed it and your conscience is clear.

Good luck!

[Karadeniz]

4. Got me laughing...thanks!

[keithbvadu2]

5. "in jail in Alabama on charges of incest." - Roy Moore? Non-payment?

"in jail in Alabama on charges of incest." - Roy Moore? Non-payment?

[ProudProgressiveNow]

6. KR NT

[spike jones]

7. I think I know your older brother.

BTW incest is not against the law in Alabama.

[Wounded Bear]

8. Ok, that got a chuckle...

[SeattleVet]

9. How I knew this was a joke:

"The other is currently in jail in Alabama on charges of incest. "

In Alabama, they don't jail people for that...they elect or appoint them to state and federal offices!

[CaptYossarian]

10. What? No mention of the herpes you gave your dog?

[JDC]

11. Winning! Lol

[TNNurse]

12. We both loved this so much and laughed out loud.

We laugh so rarely these days, so thank you for this.

[KY_EnviroGuy]

13. If I were the fiancee, prior to consummating the marriage....

the Trumpster would have to go or be deported in order to prevent potential corruption of the family....

After all, there's this.....

[jimmil]

14. No!!!!!!!!!!!

She will leave you for that sheep fucker that voted for Pence.

[Left-over]

15. This is hilarious but somehow it rings truthful.

[jpak]

16. Ummm.. I don't give a damn about...

[Talitha]

17. Don't let Shitler read this...

After seeing the first paragraph, he'll think it's a job resume...
and give you a Cabinet appointment. Only The Best !!!

[bluedigger]

18. This is so depressing.

I mean, if kindergartners can afford crack when I can't, what does that say about my life choices?

[Demovictory9]

19. lol

[uponit7771]

20. lol [my parents] have been arrested for selling crack to kindergarten class ...

[dalton99a]

21. Kick