BREAKING NEWS: White House sends second letter, asks Trump not be subjected to contested elections

In the wake of a letter sent yesterday by counsel for President Trump indicating the White House's intent not to comply with ongoing impeachment inquiries in the House of Representatives, the White House counsel has sent a second letter which states that Trump should not be forced the "indignity" of having to run for re-election next year.

"Forcing the President to take time out of his busy schedule to run a cross-country campaign, all while he could be using such ever valuable time to focus on important matters of policy and governance, is an unjust burden," the letter reads. "Frankly, it is something that no President should be forced to have to do, and we are not aware of any President before Donald Trump being subjected to such ridiculous requirements of having to pander to the public's often frivolous demands."

The letter went on to request that the traditional form of elections--wherein after a series of primary elections and caucuses, each party nominates a candidate, who then face off in a general election in November--be scrapped in 2020 and replaced with a more simplified public referendum on President Trump's job performance.

This unified national referendum would ask a simple question: "Has President Donald J. Trump #MadeAmericaGreatAgain?" and would be followed by two separate answers. One would read, "Yes, I'm all aboard the Trump Train! Woo-woo!", while the second would read, "Not yet, all because of the obstructionist Democrat (sic) Party."

"We believe the notion of a Presidential election that involves dueling candidates places an unnecessary emphasis on personalities over the idea of the one person whose job it is to serve the best interest of his people," the letter added.

The letter went on to question the necessity of other long-running facets of American democracy, such as the checks-and-balances system, judicial oversight of the executive branch, Presidential term limits, and the concept of opposition political parties in general.

Details at Eleven.