Text of Trump's address this morning leaked.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

I might have the order wrong, but I believe I've hit all the major points.

Good morning.

Me.

Me, me, me.

Me, me, me, me, me.

Crazy Hlllary, Shifty Schiff.

One of my generals -- tough, strong; he was right out of central casting -- came up to me, crying. He said, "Sir, we're all out of bullets. We had to sell them to pay for Obamacare."

Your 401(k) would be down 90 percent.

Me.

God bless America.

[Doodley]

1. Let me say tremendous at least six times. Let me mention that I am better than Obama. Let me

take credit for something US forces did in Syria, even though I ordered US forces to leave Syria. Let me not mention, this proves I am a dumbass. What a perfect strategy, something that makes every American safe. People said I couldn't do it, even the generals said I couldn't, but I did it!

[Norbert]

2. Obama never killed bin Ladin, the Navy Seals did

But I gave the order for my military to kill Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the most infamous terrorist in history. This makes me the greatest president in history to combat terrorism. Why would anyone impeach the greatest president? No collusion, No quid pro quo, Witch hunt. Treason. Press is the enemy of the people.

[malaise]

6. Nailed it

although the COn may have killed Badhdadi himself using a remote device

[LenaBaby61]

7. Problem ....

The head of the snake may be cut off, but thanks to fascist fatso, Isis is now out there, free to roam about the world.

Our allies, the Kurds, are going to still be ethnically cleansed thanks to tRump's Russia-Turkey deal.

Our troops are NOT all coming home. They'll be guarding Saudi oil instillations, even though the Saudi's have enough military heft to do this themselves.

Putin's the big King-Maker over there ---->, and he'll be getting that Warm Water Port he's wanted for a very long time thanks to that big, fat, ignorant, treasonous puppet of his.

The Middle-East is in an even worse shambles than ever, thanks to Colonel Bone spurs.

[malaise]

3. You mean

I bless America - right?

[IADEMO2004]

5. Good catch

[lastlib]

8. last sentence omitted. "God bless me and my great and unmatched wisdom."

[Chipper Chat]

9. Where's my 3 Big Macs. I'm starving.

I have 18 holes to play with this morning. Errrrrr..

[erronis]

12. "with"?

Curious wording but I could see how it might work.....

[Scarsdale]

10. He forgot to mention that

he did all that, while at Camp David, celebrating Jarvanka's wedding anniversary. Then, after that, he went golfing - AGAIN. Oh, and he also awarded his brother's company with a $33 million government contract. Why has this brother been kept under wraps? Did he just get released from a mental institution, or prison?

[Hortensis]

11. You forgot "perfect." But otherwise close to.

[grantcart]

13. When he delivers it there will be a bunch of "ow, ow ow" from twisting his own arm patting himself

On the back

[3Hotdogs]

14. Fukin' Anonymous struck again.

[Generic Brad]

15. It takes a special guy to kill someone who has been dead for years

Now if he takes out Osama Bin Laden later this week, he will have saved us from the Al Queda/ISIS zombie apocalypse.