This Just In: Epstein Was Taken up by Space Aliens and Is Alive

[MineralMan]

and living on a planet orbiting Riga, even as we write.

There. Now you know. I have this on good authority, but cannot name my source, because I can't pronounce the name, since it's in the Riga 3 language, which is based on a diminished seventh scale.

So, we can stop arguing about Epstein's death. He's not dead, although he will never return to this planet. That, too, from my authority.

[Cirque du So-What]

1. Oh, EPstein! I thought you said EINstein.

in which case every word is true

[underpants]

2. Riga? The capital of Latvia?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riga

[Tommy_Carcetti]

3. I've heard he's on Ceti Alpha V. nt

[MineralMan]

4. That's not what I heard.

[PJMcK]

5. Did you really need the sarcasm emoji?! (n/t)

[Act_of_Reparation]

6. Yes.

Some people don't get sarcasm. Others just like to alert on people. Welcome to DU.

[Niagara]

8. Um

Pot, meet kettle.

I recognized PJM's sarcasm about the sarcasm emoji a mile away.

[Act_of_Reparation]

9. I didn't miss the sarcasm.

I missed the exclamation point.

[PufPuf23]

7. One would hope that investigation and prosecution regards confederates of Epstein in crime

continues.

Money and political crimes appear to be connected to the sex crimes.

Lots of fishy.

That Epstein is dead or at least gone should be immaterial to the tentacles of the rot.