I just saw an ad for bible bedtime stories so you can fall asleep.

[lunatica]

[sakabatou]

1. And here I have my sleep playlist

Or I can just listen to one of the audiobooks I've bought.

[C_U_L8R]

2. 'If I die before I wake..."

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. Ha, I just saw the same ad, and I was all WTF?

Most Bible stories are full of wrath and smiting and would not make good bedtime listening.

[backscatter712]

4. And all I have to do is read the Bible verbatim...

Chloroform in print.

[Ferrets are Cool]

5. Mommy, read me the story about how the bears were called down from the mountains again

please.

[LuvNewcastle]

6. I like the one where they threw the woman out of a window

and let the dogs come eat her when she landed in the street. Gives me sweet dreams.

[unitedwethrive]

7. A good use for fairy tales.

Just don't take the stories seriously.

[JDC]

8. I just like the steamy parts

[jberryhill]

9. Jepthah the Gileadite is my favorite

The best human sacrifice ever!

[NCLefty]

10. "And then god murdered everyone on the planet*. Have a good sleep!"

*except one super lucky family

[jberryhill]

16. I like it better when God burns down the whole town...

...but saves the one good guy so he can have sex with his daughters.

[RhodeIslandOne]

18. Trump 3:16?

“And then Ivanka sat on Donald’s lap....”

[lunatica]

11. The flood is very soothing

[raccoon]

12. Maybe they meant the Begats. That would surely induce sleep. Nt

[llmart]

14. Ha!

There was a whole lot of "begatting" in the bible.

[milestogo]

13. Revelation gives me nightmares.

[raccoon]

15. Not to worry, it's about Nero and Rome. Nt

[lunatica]

17. The four horsemen make me think of unicorns

Such sweet sleep!