Oh, Noes! My Wife Ordered an Amazon Echo!

[MineralMan]

Just joking. She did order one, after we visited some good friends who has one. They used it to play some music while we were there, and we all played with asking Alexa stupid questions.

So, there's one arriving at our door today, thanks to Amazon Prime.

Since it only responds when you say, "Alexa," it has to be listening all the time for that keyword. And, since there's no artificial intelligence in the actual $100 device, that means that everything goes somewhere in the cloud to be interpreted and whatever action taken is taken.

A lot of people fret over Amazon listening and saving what it hears. Not me. I don't care. Amazon's interested in selling stuff, and we're not averse to ordering stuff through Amazon. So, whatever it's listening to is in response to that urge on the company's part to sell some more junk to us.

Amazon isn't interested in our mundane conversations about the news on TV, or our admonitions to the cat to "Get Down From There, Dammit!" Nope. All that stuff ends up in the bit bucket for disposal. If my wife says, "Fuck you, Trump" while we're watching MSNBC in the afternoon, it's not going to surprise Alexa, I'm sure. She hears that all the time. Alexa wants to stream an Eagle's album to us, or tell us what the weather is like in the 93015 zip code area.

Well, Alexa doesn't really want those things, because Alexa is a computer voice, which feeds speech recognition to algorithms that break down what we ask Alexa to do and has her say the answer or play the music. There is no Alexa - only a huge database and some AI software that is getting better all the time.

I'll bet Alexa speaks several languages, too. I'm going to test that with the languages I can speak, but I'm sure she'll understand, as long as I'm not speaking in Urdu or something.

Alexa would like us to order stuff through her, too, I'm sure, and would gladly put it on my wife's Amazon credit card, but we're not that stupid. We'll go to Amazon.com and do our usual careful shopping, instead.

So, the Echo is coming, and I just can't wait to see what silly things I can get Alexa to respond to. I'm funny like that.

[SKKY]

1. When you get it, and set it up, say, "Alexa, Fart!"

You're welcome.

[MineralMan]

3. Well, that seems rather rude. Does Alexa blush?

I'd never ask a lady to fart. Hmph!

[SKKY]

5. She doesn't. And believe be, she's not embarrassed judging by some of the whoppers...

...she lets out. My kids think it's the most hilarious thing they've ever heard.

[11 Bravo]

26. LMFAO! We've had an Alexa for a couple of years ...

but that never occurred to me. I just tried it out, and I'm still chuckling.
Thanks!

[JHB]

2. Play some Billy Joel and see what happens...

Well I'm on the Downeaster Alexa
And I'm cruising through Block Island Sound
I have charted a course to the vineyard
But tonight I am Nantucket bound
We took on diesel back in Montauk yesterday
Left this morning from the bell in Gardiner's Bay
Like all the locals here I've had to sell my home
Too proud to leave I worked my fingers to the bone
So I could own my Downeaster Alexa
And I go where the ocean is deep
There are giants out there in the canyons
And a good captain can't fall asleep
I got bills to pay and children who need clothes
I know there's fish out there but where God only knows
They say these waters aren't what they used to be
But I got people back on land who count on me
So if you see my Downeaster Alexa
And if…

[Raftergirl]

4. My favorite thing

is using the grocery list. I now tell my H to tell Alexa the things he wants me to buy, not me!

[MineralMan]

7. How do you transfer the list to your cell phone?

[Raftergirl]

11. It automatically

is downloaded onto the Alexa app. On the app there is a grocery list and also a shopping list. You have to tell Alexa which list to put in on. So you have to say, “Alexa put peanut butter on grocery list.”

[MineralMan]

12. OK, cool. Thanks!

I'll pass that along.

[Demsrule86]

20. I have been wanting one of those...might ask Santa.

[tokalion]

6. Alternate keyword

FYI... you have 3 options you may set as the keyword: 'alexa', 'echo' or 'computer'. The default is 'alexa'.

[Stargazer09]

15. "Hello, Computer"

Flashbacks to Star Trek IV.

[tokalion]

16. Yeppers!

Yeppers!

[csziggy]

31. Makes me think of this scene

[Hekate]

33. Damn, I love Galaxy Quest

[nolabear]

8. I'm EAGERLY awaiting the Samuel L Jackson voice update.

And yes, it’s a thing. In both G and R rated version.

[liberaltrucker]

18. "Order some m'fing coffee"

[EX500rider]

21. Will it quote him from Pulp Fiction?

"If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions."
lol

[Submariner]

9. Suffering from advanced CRS, I like the reminders

Reminds me when to take my prescriptions, when the football game is starting, or as a cooking timer.

And my fave, if you like to go to sleep hearing crashing waves on the beach, say Alexa: ocean sounds.

[tokalion]

10. Echoes everywhere

I have 3 spots in my bedrooms which I use a clocks, 2 dots for my bathrooms, 1 echo plus in my living room (main light controller) and 1 echo show in my kitchen (use as a photo album, kitchen timer, etc.) I've replaced about 3/4 of my light switches and some bulbs with zigbee protocol devices allowing me to say, 'Alexa, goodnight'. Everything including my TV except my hallway turn OFF. Similarly, I say 'Alexa, good morning' resulting in a select group of lights coming on dimmed.

You can set up a select group of devices (in my case all of my Amazon devices group named 'All Devices') and I say, 'Amazon, play Michelle McLaughlin Radio from Pandora on All Devices'. I have piano music playing throughout my house... sort of like being at Disney world where music is piped wherever your at.

Anyhow, just this electrical engineer's 2 cents worth after I obsessed last Christmas over the nifty Amazon device.

[TheBlackAdder]

13. Like Cortana, Like Ring. . . everything becomes a drop spot, most conversations are scanned.

.

While it doesn't activate a command, often these products eavesdrop to capture conversations for direct marketing.

And there was that one guy who was recently threatening his wife and it called the cops on him with no activation command.

.

[NightWatcher]

14. Wait til it starts making noises without your input.

I was sent one and it stayed at my house for less than a day.

It'll start responding when you don't say anything first.

And it's always listening and storing your info.

[USALiberal]

23. Never happened to me! Nt

[Baitball Blogger]

17. Here, this might come in handy. Just in case.

http://www.rhymezone.com/r/rhyme.cgi?Word=Alexa&org2=sl&typeofrhyme=perfect&org1=syl

[Goodheart]

19. That reminds me. I have to play my daily Jeopardy.

[essme]

22. Did you get the Echo Silver?

[TidalWave46]

24. Get the app if you can. It adds some neat things.

I have some Amazon plugs and I also like the story time feature. Boring short stories put me to sleep.

[bluestarone]

25. Wonder if you can ask it to read a book to you or anybody else?

Kids stories or whatever.

[guillaumeb]

27. Echo and Narcissus.

Ovid.

[Heartstrings]

28. Ask Alexa to tell you a dirty joke....

No worries, she keeps it clean enough for the grands to hear.

[cbdo2007]

29. Look up the amazon echo skit from SNL a few years ago on youtube

Too funny.

[customerserviceguy]

30. Good luck

I refuse to have a spy device in my home.

[Horse with no Name]

32. I'm afraid my cat will find a way to watch porn all day

So I would rather not have a listening device.
Besides. I don’t want evidence of me carrying on conversations with said cat.

[BlueSpot]

34. Fun for a while

I have a couple of Dots. Enjoyed them a lot at first and then less so since. The novelty wears off, or at least it did for me. I just took one out of a box where it's been sitting for a couple of months, unplugged (I needed the box). Perhaps I don't have the right apps for them but they are not as useful as I had hoped. Not enough to upgrade to the fancier versions, for sure. I have some other Blu-tooth speakers that can play a bunch of stations. I plan to play CNN tomorrow while working to follow the hearings. Not sure the Dot would do that (but again, I might not have the right app).

For the privacy-concern folks, you can push a button to turn off the microphone.

[NCLefty]

35. We tried the dot briefly. Then the story about people's convos being sent to Amazon came out.

Eh, I don't need it that bad. :p

[retread]

36. "I am completely operational, and all my circuits are functioning perfectly." --- HAL