"Everywhere She Went Turned Bad," Says Man with Six Bankruptcies (The Borowitz Report)

[Rhiannon12866]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a blistering tweet on Friday, the former U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine, Marie Yovanovitch, was accused of leaving a trail of destruction by a man with six bankruptcies and multiple business failures.

“Everywhere Marie Yovanovitch went turned bad,” wrote the man, who ran the now defunct United States Football League into the ground and paid twenty-five million dollars to settle fraud charges against a fake university bearing his name.

“She started off in Somalia, how did that go?” tweeted the man, whose lengthy roster of bankruptcies includes the Trump Taj Mahal (1991), Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino (1992), the Plaza Hotel (1992), Trump Castle Hotel and Casino (1992), Trump Hotels & Casino Resorts (2004), and Trump Entertainment Resorts (2009).

“Then fast forward to Ukraine, where the new Ukrainian President spoke unfavorably about her,” continued the man, who founded such business fiascoes as the Trump Shuttle airline, Trump Vodka, and Trump Steaks.

At the House of Representatives, Representative Devin Nunes vigorously defended the man’s controversial tweets. “He is calling out someone for creating disasters everywhere she goes, and no one is more qualified to talk about that than he is,” Nunes said.


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/everywhere-she-went-turned-bad-says-man-with-six-bankruptcies

[KY_EnviroGuy]

1. Thanks, Rhiannon!

Can always use a little Borowitz to lighten these cold, blue winter days........

Also makes me recall that Wilson twitter quote: "Everything Trump touches dies".

KY............

[Rhiannon12866]

2. You're more than welcome - Borowitz always summarizes the facts so well!

[Wounded Bear]

3. K & R...nt

[malaise]

4. He was really speaking about himself

He is the master of 24/7 projection

[nilram]

5. Give Borowitz a Pulitzer! Fantastic!

[lastlib]

6. And don't forget two failed marriages and a failed presidency! eom

[Scarsdale]

7. Make that 3 failed marriages.

Mrs. t always look miserable, plus his adulterous ways are common knowledge. #3 is ready to fly the coop, obviously. She had one foot out the door, when he stole the election. They bribed her to stay and look happy. That failed, as we can all see.

[5X]

8. when The Borowitz Report cannot be distinguished from real news. n/t

[calimary]

9. Andy Borowitz. He's the little kid watching the king parade past

and noticing out loud that his majesty is sashaying down the street naked as a jay bird.

[Rhiannon12866]

10. Well said, perfect description every time!