The TP Party

[dajoki]

The Shittiest Column I Ever Wrote
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/node/87486

When the Republican Party reforms and rebrands in the aftermath of its colossal act of disgracing itself in fealty to Trump, it might choose to name itself The TP Party, though it probably won't. TP would, of course, stand for Turd Polishers, but that would be entirely too honest even for a political party that will soon be scrambling to reinvent itself as a group that can be trusted to tell the truth.

But turd polishers they are, and turd polishers they have long been, going back at least to Nixon, that turd who soiled the path for legions of turds to come, guys who proudly donned that shit-stained cloak and sallied forth, proud turds willing to lie, cheat, and steal while pretending they were pillars of the community and deacons of their various churches. Which, alas, many of them actually were.

With Reagan, they polished that turd to a fare-thee-well, turning a B-movie actor and pitch man for General Electric into an affable nice guy, a statesman, a peer of Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln who would never do anyone wrong. And then, of course, once lots of people were blinded to his turdiness, he went on to do a lot of people wrong, taxing social security and beginning the unraveling of the middle class, the destruction of unions, and nudging and winking at racists to ensure lots of votes from the unreconstructed south that did, indeed, rise again.

<<snip>>

We also got Newt Gingrich, who took turdishness down a notch or two. Newtie was a real piece of shit entirely, a serial adulterer who was morally offended by Bill Clinton's blow jobs, a paragon of personal virtue who dumped one of his wives while she was in the hospital for cancer. (Republicans were becoming less and less able to present themselves as nice guys, so they had begun to provide a full-employment opportunity for aspiring turd polishers. With Newt Gingrich came a whole septic tank full of Republican turds, followed by even more such shitty specimens when the election of a (gasp) black guy prompted the sewers to back up and flood the nation's streets with an incredible number of turds who called themselves, get this, Tea Party Patriots. Talk about turd polishing: that's at least a bronze medal in the activity. Maybe a coveted Golden Turd.

<<snip>>

[empedocles]

1. Long ago, Richard Pryor described reagan as a 'shiny turd', [thats how I recall it]