"What shall we tell the children?" That is how the GOP expressed their "deep dismay" with the
"immorality" during the last impeachment. I am sure they are still concerned about what to tell the kids in this new "Age of Trump", so I thought I'd offer a few suggestions.
Kids, if you want a banana but all you have is an apple, just call the apple a banana over and over and over. Comment on how yellow the "banana" is and how easy it is to peel. Then say "banana" several hundred more times. As you eat it, tell friends and classmates how good your "banana" is. If anyone tells you "That's an apple", ask them why they hate Murika. If they still insist you're eating an apple, call them "human scum" and encourage others to punch them.
Voila! You have created a banana!
This same method can be used to solve all of life's problems:
No need to study, just tell everyone you graduated with honors from a very top-notch school;
No need to work hard to succeed in your career. Just tell everyone you are "the best ever". That should do it.
The entire concept of "lies" vs "truth"---much like "right vs wrong---is a liberal plot to keep you from getting rich and powerful. Say whatever you need to say to succeed while avoiding prison.
Girl kids---your life is simple. Just do whatever your father/boyfriend/husband orders you to do. And, STAY PRETTY!
Boy kids---if you are white, relax. You are entitled to whatever you decide you want on any given day.
Kids of color---keep quiet and stay out of the way. Understand that you don't really matter unless the nation needs squat labor or cannon fodder.
I'm sure there are nuances that the above omits, but I am confident that Republicans will invent whatever additional "wisdom" they need to keep the lid on things.
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