Trump: "Grass iz purpil"

[StarfishSaver]

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@christoq
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Nov 25th 2019, 11 tweets, 2 min read

UNIVERSALLY ACCEPTED FACT: Grass is green.

TRUMP: *tweets* Grass iz purpil.

EVERYONE WHO HAS EYES: Is he saying that grass is purple? Um, no it’s not. It’s green.

FOX NEWS: Grass is purple.

CNN: Breaking news: New debate rages about whether grass is green or purple.

EVERYONE: I’m sorry, what? Grass is green. There’s no debate.

CNN: Well we have to be fair and legitimize both sides.

EVERYONE: Grass is green. There is no other side.

TRUMP: *addresses news media on White House lawn*

REPORTER: What about the green grass that you’re literally standing on?

TRUMP: You’re very rude. The fake news media is very unfair to me!

TRUMP BASE: *chanting* Grass is purple! Grass is purple!

KELLYANNE: The democrats are trying to shove green grass down your throats because they’re all SOCIALISTS.

RUSSIAN TROLL ONLINE: Hillary Clinton has child slaves underneath a pizza parlor in Queens stealing everyone’s purple grass and painting it green.

TRUMP: *retweets Russian troll*

NEWS MEDIA: *legitimizes retweet by airing footage of it all day*

TUCKER: The Democrats are coming for your grass! 2nd amendment!!!

JIM JORDAN: *screaming* THEY HAVE NO PROOF WHATSOEVER THAT GRASS IS GREEN! NONE!
SCIENTISTS: Um, actually, we have irrefutable scientific proo...

JIM JORDAN: *screaming louder than all the scientists* NONE!!

HANNITY: Anybody that tells you grass is green is part of the deep state.

YOU: But grass IS green.

YOUR GRANDMOTHER AT THANKSGIVING DINNER: Are you part of the deep stage?

YOUR COUSIN IN PENSACOLA: *posts Breitbart meme on Facebook of cartoon frog smoking purple grass*

TRUMP: *tweets* Deep state! Socialists! 2nd amendment! I saw green grass the other day but it was artificial turf! That’s proof that all green grass is FAKE!

NEW YORK TIMES HEADLINE: Grass still green.

NOBODY: *reads newspapers*

RNC: *already mass producing purple hats with clever 2020 re-election slogan all made in China*

CHINA: *laughing in Chinese* Americans are assholes.

BARR: The report states that Trump is totally exonerated.

EVERYONE: There is no report.

LANDSCAPER IN INDIANA: It’s against my religious beliefs to plant green grass.

TRUMP: *already onto the next scandal*

EVERYONE: Oh for fucks sake. Sure. Grass is purple. This is too fucking exhausting. Who cares anymore.

UNIVERSALLY ACCEPTED FACT: Grass is now both green and purple at the exact same time.

PLANET EARTH: *heats up to the point where grass no longer exists*

[dewsgirl]

1. I saw this on here the other day. It is perfect.❤

[mountain grammy]

2. A big purple K&R

[Garrett78]

3. That's a depressingly spot-on parody.

The media has a tendency to give equal time to lies and obfuscation out of some twisted sense of what constitutes fairness.

If Trump has 100 scandals and his opponent has 1 (no matter how bogus it is), the media will spend approximately 50% of the time on Trump's scandals and approximately 50% on his opponent's single scandal. Somehow that's fair. That's an oversimplification, but that's more or less what happened in 2016 and will likely happen again in 2020.

An irresponsible, profit-driven media is arguably the 2nd greatest threat we face--with the first being the Republican Party.

We get so worn down by the constant barrage of lies, or the repetition of a single lie, that the lies take hold in the public consciousness. These are truly Orwellian times.

[ClusterFreak]

5. CNN is rightly called out in this parody for it's "both sides do it" meme....

Another big offender in that category is - God love them - NPR. I have NPR on a lot during the day while at work and get very frustrated listening to the hosts (Morning Edition hosts especially) playing Devil's Advocate at nearly every opportunity. I want to throw something at the radio. "But maybe the Republicans do have a point here..." etc. It's very nauseating. Yes, please do strive for journalistic objectivity but if you're just gonna cloak it in a veil of 'whataboutism' then I'm gonna have to call you on it every time.

[Garrett78]

8. They're all guilty, including MSNBC.

Democrat: fact
Republican: alternative fact (i.e., lie)
Chuck Todd: The American people are tired of partisan bickering and you need to compromise.

Even on DU (and among Democrats running for office) you will read posts from people claiming that there needs to be more compromise, as if there can be compromise with a party that constantly lies and promotes pure evil. This compromise shaming, if you will, contributes to the false "both sides" narrative.

Let's see, the Republicans want to deport children who will die if they stop receiving the medical care they're receiving in the US. Democrats don't want to do that. So, I guess a compromise would be to deport 50% of the sick kids? Insanity.

As for the media, I think part of the problem is that the GOP successfully (over decades) made "liberal media" a household term. There was insufficient pushback against that lie, so it took hold in the public consciousness--and the media goes out of its way to not seem 'liberal', facts be damned. And people like Elise Stefanik are labeled "moderate," because she votes with Nunes "only" 92% of the time or with Marsha Blackburn "only" 89% of the time. It's absolute madness, and we're living through it.

[KY_EnviroGuy]

4. Putin chimes in and swears all Russian grass is purple.....

quickly followed by Boris Johnson (although Ireland threatens war over the issue), who is soon echoed by....

Jair Bolsonaro (who then declares the Amazon to be purple, too).

The Saudis even echo Trump's declaration, even though they have no damn grass.

Republicans create their own reality so it's up to us to insure they keep that entirely to themselves....

[Garrett78]

9. And the media insists that "both sides" must agree that grass is grurple.

As I wrote above, this is a depressingly accurate portrayal of what happens on a daily basis.

[lunatica]

7. Yup.