Imagine being in Susan Collins' family:

[PCIntern]

“Yes dear. I am troubled and deeply concerned that you went to the motel with that man and I’m undecided as to whether I would admonish you not to exhibit that untoward behavior again or should I send a sternly-worded letter to your mother in order that she might adjudicate appropriate restrictions upon your ways and means of transportation and conveyance.”

Later:
“I must admit that I’m both surprised and shocked that you now exhibit anger toward your parent. Just because you are forty-two years old does not mean that you are not morally responsible to your family. You don’t want to be a hand towel in a public rest room dear.”

[dewsgirl]

1. Thank you for the laugh, I needed it.

[Midnightwalk]

2. Great idea but better as a children's book

Max’s mom was very concerned

Max threw a rock at a singing bird. Now now max I’m very concerned.

Max teased the dog and chased the cat. Now now max I don’t know about that.

Max beat up a kid and made him cry. Now now max she said with a sigh.

And so on.

[Pacifist Patriot]

4. Spoken into the right ear, that could end up on a book store shelf next to...

[SWBTATTReg]

3. How spot on this is. I've heard so many 'concerns', etc. on her part that I don't even listen ...

to her anymore, because her actions belie what she says (don't match)...a hypocrite if there ever was one...

[PCIntern]

5. Insubordinate..and churlish. Nt