New neighbor

[Phoenix61]

I got a new neighbor several months ago. We’re both single but she’s a little older than me. She’s very nice and I’ve been afraid to bring up politics because it would be so upsetting to learn she’s a Trumpster. Well the topic came up today and.... She HATES him! I’m so happy. There are very few Dems around here. It’s nice to know there’s one right next door.

[magicarpet]

1. Oh good,... a nice cup of tea companion.

[Phoenix61]

3. More a nice bottle of wine companion. TeeHee nt

[magicarpet]

4. Well,... better yet,... have fun.

[getagrip_already]

29. or a joint or two.... ;)

I don't smoke. I do grow, but just to make topicals. It's fine if you do.

[dewsgirl]

2. The not knowing is the worst, I'm happy for you.

[lagomorph777]

26. OP saw that the neighbor is nice. Ergo, definitely not a Trumpet.

I've never met a Trumpet who isn't an obvious asshole.

[dewsgirl]

33. True...but I've met some real assholes on this side of

the aisle as well. They just aren't misogynistic or xenophobic assholes.

[tblue37]

39. Some Trump voters are simply voting R because that's how they've always voted.

They are low-information voters who don't follow politics.

My extended family fits that profile. They're lovely people, but they always vote R (if they vote), as does their community.

It's tribalism, pure and simple.

[lagomorph777]

46. Refusing to learn about political reality, then voting anyway, is immoral.

It's like driving or shooting or doctoring without any training.

[tblue37]

47. Yes, but there's a huge amount of hectoring that tells people it's their patriotic duty to vote,

but virtually none saying they shouldn't vote without informing themselves about the issues and candidates.

[lagomorph777]

48. Yeah, that is tragically dangerous.

[Warpy]

51. I disagree, there are a lot of things I'd rather not know about acquaintances

so I rarely bring up sex, religion, or politics and I change the subject when they do.

I had too many years of working with the public and having them tell me way more than I ever wanted to know about their sexual kink, crackpot evangelism, or screwball politcs.

Not knowing is much better for my blood pressure.

[dewsgirl]

55. Well, that's certainly true.

[tanyev]

5. Yay! I have 3 coworkers that I know are true blue.

I live in a very red area, so I was really excited when I found this out.

[marlakay]

6. I have lived in my court a few years

Before the 2018 vote neighbor on next street invited me to house party she was having. She had lots of dem signs so I went. We had only been there 9 months and I was so pleased my next door neighbors came and a few others from neighborhood. I live in blue state but conservative town.

I understand totally about wanting not wanting to know!

[Freddie]

7. Always afraid to test the waters with new people

Back in 08 our new neighbors put an Obama sign in their yard. The next day we did the same in ours. Just nice to know good people living next door.
Impressions can go the opposite way too. I play in a community band and thought the fairly new lady sitting next to me was nice and I always enjoyed chatting with her. Then one day I parked behind her and saw the Pat Toomey for Senate sticker on her car. Oh well.

[Freedomofspeech]

24. Yuck...Toomey

He represents our area, too. I hope he doesn't run for governor.

[lunatica]

8. In today's political climate that's a positively wonderful thing

Remember when relationships weren’t contingent on your political views? Nowadays how you feel about Trump is a relationship breaker or maker. All by itself.

[Tweedy]

11. That support is weaker than it seems

Confession: my parents, sadly lost, retired to a very red Texas city. I have spent a lot of time around folks who support the GOP.

Texans are generally very hospitable folks; perhaps these supposedly Maga loving folks are faking friendship with me, after all "the elites" they trust these days (Rush, Hannity) tell them simply living in California is suspect.

Yet, the kindnesses they have shown me and my parents have been many. We are not as divided as it appears.

Perhaps that trust in the GOP "elites" is not so deep ?

AND these GOP'ers complain about this president's rudeness, crudeness & general incompetence as vigorously as anybody here on our west coast. They do. It is true.

AND this president was next to none of their first choice as reflected in his campaign's song choice, "You can't always get what you want."

AND these GOP Americans care as much about their kids & grandkids as the next guy does. They taught those children to be honest and follow the rules. Cheating is right out.

Wish I knew how to penetrate the political jerseys they wear like armor. Adam Schiff could not do it and dang! he was eloquent.

I continue to live in hope.

[Captain Zero]

52. Twilight Zone ideas

Over this year we ALL discover our neighbors and indeed most of our communities are dems or at least anti-Trump, but then on election day lots of problems, outages, etc. And Trump is re-elected 58% to 42%. Will we still buy it that the software is not tampered with ?

Barrack Obama won Indiana in 2008. Times were getting bad but I still think we do not know that the rig on the machines either wasn't installed for McCain or didn't work as it usually does. That may be the way Indiana always votes and we don't in know it yet !

[bluestarone]

9. AWESOME news!

Enjoy the new friendship!!

[George II]

10. We have republicans on both sided of us but two Democrats across the street.

[yellowdogintexas]

37. I am a Democratic Precinct Chair in Fort Worth Texas

and I keep finding more Democrats. My current project is contacting the 115 Democrats or Democratic leaning voters who were sent Vote By Mail Applications ( the cost of doing this was borne by the Texas Democratic Party, funds raised by grass roots). I have had 3 call me back, and found 2 more that I did not know about previously! I may have recruited a couple to do some volunteer work after the primary.

When I load my list today, I may discover the number has decreased due to applications received by our County ELections office.

[Demovictory9]

12. ...

[RazBerryBeret]

13. I live in Ohio very red area...

and in 2008 my Obama yard signs were stolen twice. I complained to the man who lived behind me, just that my "yard sign" was stolen again... He said, "I have an extra one, I can give it to you".... awkward 30 seconds, then I had to ask, "Obama sign, right".... hahaha. (it was, but you never know!)

[blueinredohio]

16. Lucky you,I live in a red area of Ohio too.

Found out my mail lady is a democrat. So we made sure we gave her a nice Christmas present this year.

[RazBerryBeret]

19. that's awesome!

I live in delaware county.... you anywhere near? I canvassed for several campaigns when my kids were young, thought it would be a good way to meet a lot of people in my area. Found out quickly that I am surrounded! haha.

[blueinredohio]

21. No I live in Williams county. In the north West between Indiana and Michigan.

[DeeDeeNY]

14. A car plastered all over with Trump bumper stickers is always parked at my son's school

And my son, who is mentally handicapped, attends a school for the developmentally disabled. It used to drive me nuts, trying to figure out what teacher there could have such views. And then one day I finally saw the person getting out of the car. It was the school psychologist! Very demoralizing.

[Karadeniz]

15. Good Lord!!!

[AllyCat]

34. Boo

[DeeDeeNY]

36. Yes

They aren’t even just simple Trump stickers but nasty and offensive. The anti-Democratic ones he had during the Obama years were even worse. And this is a program for the most vulnerable and innocent people.

[yellowdogintexas]

42. I was in the "Standing By the Corner" store in WInslow AZ last year

and considered buying my niece's family a jigsaw puzzle, then I took a look at the bumper sticker rack and I am damn surprised I did not barf all over it. Those stickers were horrendous. I kind of doubt the real Eagles whose statues are standing on the corner across the street with the flatbed Ford would approve one bit. I left immediately without the puzzle. Found a better one at Petrified Forest NP anyway

[Kali]

50. ha! I was up there last year, too!

and yeah that store across the street had a lot of nauseating souvenirs. better than the drumpf store in Show Low, though.

[LakeArenal]

17. Sadly we could always tell

Republicans give yard signs away free.
My local office makes us pay $7 each.
When they were $3 I would buy for all my neighbors who would use it. Now. No way.

[yellowdogintexas]

43. many of our candidates have free yard signs They raise money to get them

If they charge it isn't much and goes to their campaign, not the party.

[ooky]

18. You are lucky. That's a great neighbor to have.

My next door neighbor is a hard core progressive and has become a good drinking buddy. I believe everyone else around us are subjects of King Donald.

My oldest son and his family moved into a new house across town this summer. They were telling me yesterday that a new Trump sign just went up next door to them. My daughter in law hates Trump with passion and says it is making her sick looking at every time she goes in and out.

[yellowdogintexas]

38. I have a friend whose mother is a great Democrat but never puts up yard signs

Well her neighbor put up a Cruz sign in 2018 and she called her daughter because she knew I was involved and demanded a BETO sign, which I promptly delivered.

[crimycarny]

20. Also Republicans

My sister--who has voted GOP her whole 62 year--can't STAND Trump. She sat out the 2016 election but is going to vote for whoever wins the Dem primary in 2020. Same for a co-worker of mine who is a life long Republican. Voted for Hillary in 2016 and will vote for the Dem candidate in 2020. Most women I know, regardless of party, loathe Trump. Hopefully, women will get out and vote!

[Scarsdale]

23. So true.

Women do loathe tRump. Look at his wife's face when she is with him. She can't stand him either. Guess the love of money keeps her there.

[Talitha]

22. Tell her we said HI!!

[Phoenix61]

44. I told her all about the great DU and how it

helps me stay sane. Love each and everyone of you.

[Freedomofspeech]

25. Lucky you.

So happy for you. Living in a red area is a nightmare...we are surrounded by morons.

[Jedi Guy]

27. This may be an unpopular opinion, but oh well...

If you predicate friendships on political alignment/affiliation, you're part of the problem.

[ProfessorPlum]

28. I respectfully call bullshit on this post

It's more that one can't be true friends with someone that you can't be morally truthful with.

I can be a friendly acquaintance with someone who votes for Trump, but I can't be friends with them until/unless I find some common moral ground.

Being a "fake" friend is also a large part of the problem. It's time that people of goodwill be a little louder about what they find acceptable.

[yellowdogintexas]

40. I deal with this when I talk with one of my sisters. We do not discuss

religion or politics unless it is about our cousin and whether or not she will run again for State Representative. She got Tea Partied in the General and she was really well liked in her district.

My other sister is in the middle and lives in North Carolina. I asked her if she was going to vote and she said yes, after 40 years in a Solid Blue State where she didn't feel it mattered if she managed to vote or not, she was looking forward to maybe making a difference. I was pleased. She hated the Governor.

[Phoenix61]

30. I can't be friends with someone who thinks

separating children from their parents or rolling back environmental regs to pre 1970’s or gutting the ACA is good. People who voted for Twitler are ok with all of those things. That are not good people, they just aren’t.

[Jedi Guy]

56. The world isn't separated into good people and bad people. It just isn't that simple.

I've seen (and I'm willing to bet you have, too) hatred and vitriol right here on DU. Like, wishing people would die hatred and vitriol. To me, those are not the thoughts of a "good person." You can't wish someone dead, or dance on the grave of someone who's recently died, and then turn around and pat yourself on the back for being such a wonderful, compassionate, good person. That's some severe cognitive dissonance.

If you (and I mean the general you here, not you specifically) refuse to associate with anyone who doesn't think/believe as you do, then this polarization of American society is never going to get sorted out. Even before the advent of Trump, finding civil political discussion was extremely uncommon. Political conversations usually degenerated into screaming matches, online and in real life. It's only gotten worse since 2016.

When discussing politics with someone who holds beliefs I disagree with (or even find repellent) I try to keep in mind that they're wrong, but not necessarily evil. This doesn't hold true for all people, of course. Outright neo-Nazis and white supremacists are hold beliefs, and are therefore evil. But that doesn't hold true of every person on the right.

Your mileage may vary, of course. But I don't immediately write someone off as a total lost cause because they voted for Trump.

[Phoenix61]

58. There's a huge difference between associate

with and be friends with. I’m in a deeply red area so I have lots of acquaintances who are Trumpsters. And no, the world isn’t separated into good and bad people, they are all mixed up together. Yes, sometimes good people do bad things and sometimes bad people do good things but that doesn’t change the fact some people are fundamentally flawed. Barr, McConnell, DeVos etc are not good people and that’s not a matter of political disagreement.

[Jedi Guy]

64. I'm not saying that McConnell, DeVos, and their fellow travelers are good people.

I am saying that if we simply write off every single Trump supporter and/or conservative as evil and irredeemable, that gets us nowhere. Telling someone they're a horrible person is not going to provoke thoughtful reflection on their beliefs. It's certainly not going to do anything at all to reverse the polarization of America, which is a very real problem.

CNN did a series a while back, the Divided States of America. I heartily recommend giving it a look. One of the things I remember from reading it was that some group or other did a study which showed that both sides vastly overestimate the extremity of their opposite numbers' ideology. Both sides have a preconceived notion of what the other side is like and what they believe, and the reality is somewhat different.

[Phoenix61]

65. The 30% who voted for him are irredeemable.

I listen to them every single day. They are not going to change because they don’t see anything wrong with what he has done. Not any of it! His hatefulness and vindictiveness is something they admire. I’ve worked with mandated clients and am well equipped to help people see things in a different way and have been successful at it. Not so much Trumpsters. They are working with an alternative set of facts they are not going to let go of, ever. It’s as close to a cult as anything I’ve ever seen. Notice I said Trumpsters. There are plenty of conservatives who dislike him every bit as much as I do. While I may disagree with them on topics we are working with the same set of facts.

[ArizonaLib]

67. Yes their voters always have bad stuff to say about them

but they vote for them anyway. I have relatives who have awful things to say about how Trump is a bad, evil person but when I ask if they were to go back in time and vote for Hillary instead, I never get a straight answer.

[Jedi Guy]

68. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. I like to think redemption is always possible.

If they truly are irredeemable, then we're stuck in this mess for good and it's never going to get better. Maybe I'm being naively optimistic, but I can't believe that's true.

[Phoenix61]

69. I'm banking on the 70% who aren't crazy.

A lot of the 30% are old and honestly just don’t know better and don’t want to learn. They are part of the old guard on its way out. I like to think this is the agonal gasp of the white patriarchy. May they Rest In Peace, sooner rather than later.

Redemption is always possible but it starts with admitting being wrong.

[WheelWalker]

31. When debate is futile...

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212942272

[Nature Man]

32. no

you "predicate" friendships on whether you're dealing with a good person.

Trump supporters are not good people. You can tell a lot about a person by who they admire or who their heroes are.

If you can find anything admirable or heroic about Trump you are a shit person with a failed moral compass.

Who wants shit people (Trumpskis) in their life?

Get real.

[yellowdogintexas]

41. My sister is a wonderful, kind and hilariously witty person that I love dearly and will not

jeapordize our relationship for any reason. We managed to get through some very difficult decisions about our mother (along with the other sister and her adult daughter) without one spot of dissention. We survived our father's suicide together.

SO we do not talk about religion or politics. She slipped up and told me a couple of things she now believes that she never would have before she was married (It took 30 years for that church to wear her down; she is also a stubborn woman). Well it disturbed me enough to make me cry a lot and call her to tell her how much it hurt me and that if she said the same things to our other sister it would just kill her.
We shared a lot that day and we don't talk about it any more. The 3 of us are very close and always have been. I'm not letting anything get in the way of that.

I have friends I won't talk to about these things as well. I love them and don't want to jeapordize anything . I don't want to know who they support so I don't have to deal with it.

[Phoenix61]

45. I definitely get the family thing and even

the already a friend thing. I just don’t want to let someone new into my life if they are a Trumpster.

[LanternWaste]

49. Inferring 2+222 is another unpopular opinion, "but oh well..."

That said, no where in the OP was your premise explicitly stated such. I think you merely inferred it in a fit of pique.

[Jedi Guy]

53. Your little lectures are one of those experiences that make DU so much fun. :) N/T

[drray23]

54. Quite the opposite

Why would I be friend with somebody whose values i despise ?
Should I be friend with the local white supremacists ?

[Jedi Guy]

57. I didn't say you should befriend the local white supremacists.

Just so we're clear, could you be friends with a conservative? Not a Trump voter, but a conservative. A Never Trumper, let's say. Could you be friends with such a hypothetical person?

[drray23]

59. Yes and I am. However Trump has completely coopted the GOP

And sane conservatives who happen to have different solutions to the country's problems are becoming extinct.

[Jedi Guy]

63. The GOP party apparatus has most definitely sold its soul to Trump, no argument there.

There are still some sane conservatives out there. SE Cupp is a conservative commentator on CNN, for instance, and she has nothing good to say about Trump, or the GOP's current direction, for that matter. There are rank-and-file conservatives out there of similar mind.

My guess is that after Trump is nothing but a bitter memory, the GOP will fragment. The Trumpists will likely maintain control of the brand (for want of a better term), while the Never Trumpers will break away to form a third party. If so, I expect that party will be more like the loyal opposition of old. That's probably the best-case scenario.

[Rider3]

35. Yes!

Thank God for small favors!

[zackymilly]

60. My neighbor has a Trump flag on a 25 foot pole. n/t

[Phoenix61]

61. Ewww... I'm so sorry. nt

[zackymilly]

62. Me too.

He complains about Hispanics, but every weekend he has 3 or 4 Hispanics doing his yard work. I remind him of this when he complains and he just laughs.

[mommymarine2003]

66. Found a new cousin on Ancestry

I found a new cousin last summer by DNA testing through Ancestry.com. It turned out she lives about 60 miles away from where I live in Oregon but in a more conservative area. We decided to have lunch to meet each other. Somewhere in the process, we discovered we both detested Trump. Now I am happy to be related, and we have dined at a winery in Hood River for our second time together. To cap things off, she is a Rotarian like my husband. I knew that if she had been a Trump supporter, that would have been the end of our relationship, so I feel lucky.