If Donald Trump were to spontaneously combust on your front porch, would you ...

[11 Bravo]

32 votes, 1 pass | Time left: Unlimited
	Make S'mores
	2 (6%)
	Call the Fire Department ... in another state
	0 (0%)
	Piss on any body parts that weren't burning
	0 (0%)
	Tell him to get the fuck off your property
	20 (63%)
	"Stand your ground" in the face of an uninvited intruder
	0 (0%)
	Other
	10 (31%)
	1 DU member did not wish to select any of the options provided.
Show usernames Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

[yesphan]

1. break out the

fire axe.

[TheBlackAdder]

17. Water down the porch and cover my nose. Don't want to catch its stupid, after all.

[Fresh_Start]

2. sue him

should be some grounds...trepass, discarding toxic waste, property damage....

[handmade34]

7. best answer!

[trueblue2007]

30. i would say BURN BABY BURN and laugh hysterically !!!!!!!

Let it burn.... let it burn .. sung to the Frozen song (Let it go)

[2naSalit]

3. I would make sure there was

sufficient fuel for the thing to be completely incinerated to ashes
when complete reduced to ashes call the local hazmat people to come and remove the toxic waste
sue for damages.

[MontanaMama]

33. I was going to offer the option

of adding gasoline to said fire...could I assume we're on the same page??

[2naSalit]

37. Yes we are!

[MontanaMama]

40. Now THAT's a fire!!

[2naSalit]

43. LOL!!!

Oh my, that's funny. Reminds me of my ex! He called gas "boyscout juice" when it was used to start a fire.

[Brother Buzz]

4. I'd post the doorbell camera video on YouTube

[patricia92243]

16. EXCELLENT!

[2naSalit]

38. I like that!

I don't have one of those but if I did, it would be used to record and also to monitor the fire until it's totally out and nothing but ashes remain. When it all cools down I would call the hazmat folks to come and clean up the mess.

[Brother Buzz]

49. That, or just call in the Door Buzzard

[2naSalit]

51. Thank you for reminding me of that option!

I agree. But I think putting out the fire might be a good idea for safety of the door buzzard. And I wouldn't want it to eat any of the carrion as it would be too toxic.

[stonecutter357]

5. tell him it's a perfect fire ........lol .

[highplainsdem]

6. I'd think his owner was coming to get him, after whatever deal with the devil kept him out

of prison long enough to inflict himself on the American people as president.

[Hermit-The-Prog]

8. we don't need no water, let the motherfucker burn ...

Clean out the house and watch.

[DBoon]

9. How do you extinguish burning brimstone?

[jmowreader]

10. Grab a hose and put out the fire

Sorry folks, but my front porch has a roof on it. I don’t care how bad I hate that motherfucker, I like my front porch.

Of course, nothing says I can’t spray about 300 gallons of water up his nose just to make sure I got all the fire out.

[GoCubsGo]

12. That's why you tell him to get the fuck off your property.

I have a covered porch that narrows at the front door, so I considered that, as well. But, as long as he gets off the porch, he can keep burning. Best of both worlds.

[Bettie]

11. I'd be duty bound to

try and stop out the fire...or maybe use a shovel to beat it out.

[MontanaMama]

41. Just to be sure...

[maxrandb]

13. Douse him with gasoline is not an option?

[patricia92243]

14. I would say; "I've got a porch?" (I don't have now) Then

just close the door.

[hlthe2b]

15. Mistake the lighter fluid for the water pail?

I k'eed' I k'eed" Agent Mike.

[Eugene]

18. Save the porch. Get him off the property. nt

[tinrobot]

19. Would probably call a hazmat crew to clean up the toxic remains.

[MyOwnPeace]

20. I'd use the Republican economic theory........

I'd pour a cup of water at my doorway and watch the "rescue" trickle down to him.
Has to be every bit as effective as the theory, right?

[MuseRider]

22. Nice. n/t

[MuseRider]

21. Video document it

and force his family to pay for it. Put him out? Not in one trillion years would I ever consider saving that mans life. I used to be a Nurse. If he had been brought to me I would have had to but I let my license lapse when I retired. I took care of too many reprehensible people in handcuffs, under guard. I do not have to now. There is not one good reason to save him. He has done no good things in his miserable life and has hurt as many people as he has wanted to. Jackass.

[MyOwnPeace]

23. What I truly believe is.........

while it would "scream at your brain" while doing it, you would do what your training has taught you to do - that is the nature and training of people in your kind of service.

And while you'd be furious at yourself for having done it, you would never have an ounce of trouble looking at yourself in the mirror at any time.

But I sure understand your feeling!

[MuseRider]

59. Of course you are right.

I like to talk like a big shot, lol. I saved a coyote that was after my goats. If it had gotten hold of one of them I would have beat it with something until it let go but it got scared of me waving my arms and jumping and growling around and finally left. If it had not I would have had to do something. I simply could not kill or let die a single creature, even though there is a threat. I would be no good in the up coming struggle except to help think and ease pain. LOL. DAMN, you got me! Somehow it has made me feel like a bigger shot that what I was talking about.

[backscatter712]

24. Grab a jerry can of gasoline...

[roamer65]

60. [phone]

[pecosbob]

25. Dance

To quote Billie Joe Armstrong, 'as your ship is going down, I'll stand by and watch you drown'.

[polichick]

26. Get out the...

...after the flames die out.

[Doreen]

27. Call Russia to tell Putin to get his ass over and put

his pet out. Of course it just might be to late by the time he gets here.

[tazkcmo]

28. Nothing

But enjoy the proceeding quiet.

[democratisphere]

29. Drink shots of tequila, turn up the music and dance in the streets!

THAT DAY will come!

[pamdb]

31. trump on fire

I'd pour myself a glass of wine and watch.

[dalton99a]

32. "Great job! Beautiful fire"

[Sugar Smack]

34. Other: light a doobie off him and go back inside.

[lunatica]

35. I'd walk over to my MAGAT neighbors about a block or two away and tell them

Matter of fact lay that Trump was on fire on my front porch. One must always do the right thing.

[LastLiberal in PalmSprings]

36. I certainly wouldn't piss on him.

I hate to stand in lines.

[lunatica]

39. Get out the leaf blower to blow the flames out.

[Progressive Jones]

42. I'd drag that burning bag of meat away from my house while

not disturbing the flames. My humble home is worth way more than that pig.

[smb]

44. I'd Think It Was Practical Joke Overkill

You're only supposed to burn a little pile of dog turds in front of somebody's door....

[First Speaker]

45. Call Hell and tell them that one of their boys has escaped...

[Flaleftist]

46. Tweet the video

[Ilsa]

47. Accidentally move my lawn mower's gasoline storage tank,

with a rag hanging out the spout, right next to him. And maybe mix some bleach and ammonia-containing bathroom cleaner and keep it next to him.

[woodsprite]

48. Wait until he was a heap of ashes

Then sweep them off into the side yard where our dog does her business frequently!

[book_worm]

50. With all that anger I'd expect him to spontaneously combust one of these days

[jcgoldie]

52. Run to get the charcoal lighter fluid from the shed

[magicarpet]

53. Run and get the gasoline can I use to fill the lawnmower....

... then pour it all over him to assure the fire burnt the shit blob to a total charcoal crisp and nothing but ashes remained.

Fuck the front porch. When the fire eventually goes out, just build a new one.

[58Sunliner]

54. Kick him off my porch so the house doesn't burn and close the door. And sue his estate for damages.

[doc03]

55. Grab a beer and light up a cigar and watch the fire. nt

[mainstreetonce]

56. Call Pence to hold his hand

😀President Nancy!

[DBoon]

57. put out the flames right away with an asphyxiating oxygen-displacing gas

I need to protect my property from uncontrolled combustion

[Quixote1818]

58. Pop popcorn on the fire, eat it, nod my head gently and smile because a new day is dawning!

Light has finally overtaken the dark.

[pansypoo53219]

61. 1st you gotta get him so nothing burns down.

then try + find something flammable.

[meadowlander]

62. Get Mexico to pay for the extinguisher.

[WyattKansas]

63. Drink a gallon of gasoline and piss on him.

What?

[Poiuyt]

64. I would put him out, but I'd use salt so that my porch could be purified

[librechik]

65. hurry to lock the door so his evil spirit won't enter my house!