I'm convinced I must have died

[maxrandb]

and been transported to some fantasy nightmare land where I'm forced to believe that a fucking assclown, with a shaved Golden Retriever ass on his head is somehow the "leader of the free world.

A man that you would seek mental health care for him if you saw him on the street is briefing you during a crisis.

It's like we've put our 2 year old toddler in charge of doing our taxes, and we're watching him like they have a clue as to what they are doing.

It's like I went down to the grocery store and asked the cashier to perform my heart transplant.

It's the only explanation I can come up with, because every other scenario makes no fucking sense.

I half expect him to grasp someone's crotch and tell them to "turn your head and cough"... except in that case... our media would tell us how brilliant he is.

Mel Brooks, Jonathan Winters, Red Skelton... the most creative comedic minds you could think of could never imagined this.

It's like a hamster wheel of hell.

[NRaleighLiberal]

1. yep. More than three years of daily, utter disbelief

it certainly takes its toll - and I don't even watch or listen to it. Just read about it here on DU.

Certainly in the running for worst human being ever.

[Celerity]

5. indeed

[CaptYossarian]

15. That's very hypnotic.

Now I understand my cat's obsession with the laser pointer. I'm not manic though.

Hogan's Heroes is on in a couple of hours, so I can laugh at the dead one anyway.

[Scarsdale]

55. Here is a bright spot,

speaking of Hogan's Hero's. Did you see the clip here on DU of Captain Klink and Sergeant Shultz, both German Jews, singing together "Silent Night" in German? Very impressive, both had great singing voices and together were so good. I never knew they sang. I watched several times. It brought tears to my eyes. Highly recommend watching it from the archives.

[CaptYossarian]

57. I didn't see that.

I have a copy of Simon & Garfunkel singing Silent Night while a reporter is giving all the horrible news of the mid-to-late 60s--everything from Richard Speck to Lenny Bruce's death to racial unrest and Vietnam. It's done as if it was one broadcast.

It was most likely banned from radio for being truthful, just like Give a Damn from Spanky and Our Gang was.

[Scarsdale]

58. The clip of Klink and Schultz is

well worth searching for. Great voices, very touching. I did not see the video of Simon and Garfunkel, either. It sounds very moving.

[CaptYossarian]

59. I don't have it on video. It's from a Greatest Hits package on CD.

Probably on YouTube though. Everything seems to be.

They even have Back When My Hair Was Short, which isn't on iTunes.

[Doc_Technical]

64. CaptYossarian, Thanks for reminding me about the song "Give a Damn"

I see everything twice!!

[CaptYossarian]

76. My iPod has a channel I created called "Lefty".

It's full of protest songs that reflect my values.

I noticed in college that writing a good paper required a CSN or CSNY album and headphones. I crank it up and it cranks me up. Great inspiration from 4 legends.

[Harker]

74. Werner Klemperer's father Otto

was a notable conductor and composer.

[utopian]

11. same

[5X]

2. We are in Hell. n/t

[Rorey]

3. I couldn't believe it when W was selected

And he almost looked intelligent compared to Orangeface. It's insane. HE is insane. smh

[NRaleighLiberal]

7. key is "almost". only trump's horridness could have such an effect!

[CaptYossarian]

18. I don't feel as bad when I see him with Michelle Obama.

The recent depression was on him and the Wall Street bloodsuckers (they didn't jump out of windows this time).

The rest was on evil henchman Cheney.

[Squidly]

61. I thought I'd never say this

But if W was running against Chump, I'd vote for him in a heartbeat

[CaptYossarian]

62. Stupid and nice TRUMPS stupid and evil anytime.

He even said not to attack Muslim-Americans after 9/11. Trump would only say that under sedation. It was similar to McCain defending Obama that time. Pure class.

When I watched movies like W and Game Change, I realized these were dumb people (Dubya and Palin) who were in over their heads. You get a real understanding of the Peter Principle when it's presented this way. Dubya and Palin went above and beyond their last positions of any competence however. Maybe Girl Scout leader for her and Jiffy Lube manager for him, but those might be a stretch.

We don't seem to have any people of that "quality" in our party. They must be weeded out during the primary or just lose altogether in the general. I've seen poorly run campaigns, but no Dem in office has said anything "derptastic" as most of today's GOP has said.

[Funtatlaguy]

4. Shaved golden retriever ass deserves applause 👏.

[NRaleighLiberal]

6. agreed. most apt line I've heard all day.

[maxrandb]

8. It's actually from experience

My old Golden (rest in peace) once had an impacted anal gland. The vet had to shave part of his ass to drain it.

Poor pooch tried to use his tongue to comb his remaining hair over the bald spot.

It looked exactly like Donnie Shit for Brains hairdo.

[Funtatlaguy]

10. That was a little TMI while I was eating chocolate. Lol.

[CaptYossarian]

22. Three Mile Island?

[klook]

43. Also known as dogbutt meltdown - highly radioactive (nt)

[Haggis for Breakfast]

48. TMI

Too much information.

[CaptYossarian]

56. I went for the joke.

In the magazine Environmental Action back then, they abbreviated it as TMI in their headlines and stories about the meltdown.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

46. You should be thankful it wasn't a jelly doughnut halfway in your mouth at the time!

Oh Haaa! Made myself laugh 🤭

[maxrandb]

49. Thank God you couldn't smell it

I thought the vet and I were both going to pass out.

I felt like I should have left him a tip.

Whatever he was getting paid was not enough.

[Evolve Dammit]

34. I can see that etched in a pet-owner. My sympathies for your loss and all of us now.

[Blue_playwright]

70. Best description I've yet heard. Nt

[Democrats Ascendant]

9. I'm just so sick of him.

I pray that a D gets elected in Nov and that the Orange Dotard dies in jail.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

12. Relax. Be thankful you are not a child in Idlib province in Syria. . . . nt

[Evolve Dammit]

35. Very good point. How true. That is a travesty the world is largely ignoring. Incredibly tragic.

[Skittles]

13. I have NEVER accepted that vile piece of SHIT as my president

he is a FRAUD and FUCK anyone still supporting him, they disgrace themselves AND their country

[Totally Tunsie]

42. Exactly, I never use the words "Trump" and "President"

in the same sentence.

[moondust]

14. Biggest farce ever?

How does this compare to Nero fiddling while Rome burned?

Hey everybody, let's hire the Bankruptcy King to manage the federal budget and Treasury! What could possibly go wrong?!

If he knows more than the generals I'll bet he knows more than the doctors, too! Let's ask him what we should do about a global pandemic! He's an "outsider" so he knows it all! Let's give him the nuclear codes!

Then let's grab everybody by the arm and jump out of this airplane at 30,000 feet! We'll just land on a haystack! What fun it will be to tell everyb...

[maxrandb]

50. Donnie Short Fingers couldn't hold Nero's jockstrap

Watching this idiot play president is like watching your dog figure a trigonometry formula while 40% of the people watching tell you that the dog is a genius.

It's like watching a cat trying to cover its shit on a linoleum floor and having 40% of the people watching tell you they love how the cat thinks out of the box.

No... it's even worse then that. It's having the media broadcast the trigonometry dog and the poop covering cat and asking "what's wrong with the Democratic party"?

[handmade34]

16. Oh

we are in the same hell, or twilight zone... and no one in the streets protesting, and people on the television not jumping up and down and screaming

[Perseus]

17. There is an author who saw this coming in 1935

"It Can't Happen Here!" by Sinclair Lewis

It doesn't end well in the book, for anybody.

[murielm99]

20. I reread that

when Dubya was in office. Scary.

[Pachamama]

67. It should be titled "It CAN Happen Here"

And it is happening here and you are correct....it doesn't end well for anybody....

[Canoe52]

19. I remember reading that Red Skelton was paranoid and kept a loaded gun under his pillow?

Not sure if it was true or not.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

21. Yep.

I used to rely on Stephen Colbert to help me through, but even he can't make this shit funny. It's a fucking nightmare.

[58Sunliner]

23. Same here. I can't laugh anymore and I think Colbert is having a hard time spinning it.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

26. I didn't get a chance to ask where they'd heard this,

whether in an interview or on the show, but a friend said Colbert recently said something to the effect that he's finding it difficult to discover humor in our country's awful predicament.

[ProudProgressiveNow]

24. KR NT

[DENVERPOPS]

25. Good one Max N/C

[Botany]

27. Putin installed Trump to bring down America from the inside is one reason I can think of him ...

.... being where he is now.

[Ohiogal]

28. "Hamster wheel of hell."

What a perfect description!

And everything you say is true.

[Pachamama]

29. Hamster Wheel of Hell - Perfect Description

I watched that bizarre briefing....

As I listened to him I became more and more concerned that we are seriously screwed and doomed. When he was done insulting Nancy Pelosi and the Dems, he spoke gibberish about how the Coronavirus isn’t that bad and they have it handled.

He knows nothing and instead of giving me confidence, he frightened me more.

I did a mass selling of stocks I hold this afternoon shortly before the market closed because when I heard he was holding this briefing I expected nothing but lies and bullshit.

I see I did the right thing.

[hellno45]

30. The media is a big part of the problem. nt

[keithbvadu2]

31. And so many 'Christians' in power consider him sent by God.

And so many 'Christians' in power consider him sent by God.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

36. That's only propaganda for sheeple. Those in power DON"T believe it. They believe in power. . . . nt

[Marcuse]

32. Mel Brooks came close.

|

[Tyrs WolfDaemon]

33. About that heart transplant...

Did the cashier at least ask you "Paper or Plastic?"

Not sure which would be better.

[maxrandb]

47. It was a progressive store... I had to bring my own bag

[MFM008]

37. Good

Assessment.

[Piasladic]

38. nah, I think we're in a coma

It's a nightmare you cannot wake from until you die.

[orleans]

39. when asked about the correlation between the stock market

falling and the virus ...

he said it was probably because they watched the debate last night and the market is afraid one of those democrats could be president

then he proceeded to hold an election rally, boasting about all the great shit he has done

it was just another KILL ME NOW moment.

i was wondering why i was wasting my time watching this dipshit

[Richard D]

40. I keep telling people . . .

. . . somehow I got off on the wrong astral plane.

[bronxiteforever]

41. In a day of misery, your brilliant sarcasm has cheered me up.

[librechik]

44. well everybody is here together. We'll all go through it like a family does.

It's only a dream after all.

[kacekwl]

45. And the saddest thing is

we are running around like chickens with heads off trying to figure out how to beat him. In normal times if we weren't dead he would have been thrown out after 2 weeks.

[triron]

51. Yes it is an insane asylum.

You and I are captive inmates.

[hay rick]

52. Our nightmare was scripted by Dante Alighieri. nt

[mr_lebowski]

53. Reminds me of when President Hector Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho and his Cabinet ...

Had to solve the problem of all the crops dying ...

[tavernier]

54. We need Robin Williams back to explain it.

And in our ongoing nightmare, Coronavirus comes along because the planet is trying to spit us out.

[DENVERPOPS]

73. Robin Williams

and Hunter Thompson probably surmised what was coming, and both bailed out......RIP RW & HT

[Soxfan58]

60. Mel Brooks

The man who set the Inquisition to music could find no humor in this.

[bigbrother05]

63. Wish YouTube had the Man in the High Castle's films following HRC's victory

Feels like we're on a hellish, alternate timeline and he is OGF Smith.

[Different Drummer]

65. Your post reminded me of my favorite Mike Luckovich strip ever.

[WyattKansas]

66. You are not the only one who has thought that they died or somehow got bumped into...

An alternate dimension somehow.

I have even gone so far to think... How in the hell do I get bumped into the dimension where everything is perfect?

[BobTheSubgenius]

68. Referring to the last election, Bill Maher said:

"It's like those millions of swing voters said 'Fuck it. Let's let the dog drive and see what happens.'"

[Initech]

69. It's like we're living in the alternate reality from Back To The Future.

Unfortunately there's no DeLorean where we can go travel back in time to find out where all this went wrong.

[Kota]

71. He also looked like he was wearing pink eye makeup yesterday at that briefing.

[PJMcK]

72. That was fucking brilliant!!!

I just hope that you and I are not sleeping in the same bed while we're sharing this fucking nightmare!

(wink)

[Onthefly]

75. Well stated.

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”

George Carlin

[rainy]

77. Well said!

[BadGimp]

78. I don't feel a thing... anymore

v

[Beartracks]

79. He's still playing President like a child plays make-believe. n/t

[budkin]

80. We are all trapped in a parallel dimension

The darkest timeline.