Teach Your Daughters to Hit People Who Touch Them

[Apollo Zeus]

I was outraged by the news from Utah that schools there have policies that deny girls the right to say "no" when a boy asks them to slow dance in mandatory PE classes (!)

It got me thinking back to an article which has haunted me since I first read it a year ago. It is a provocative stance and I'm not 100% in agreement with it but it haunts me because I find it hard to argue with teaching your daughters how to stop these behaviors ASAP because stories like the one from Utah schools show what many are ready to teach and do to our daughters.

The #MeToo campaign has touched me deeply in many ways. Partly because I was myself the victim of sexual assault by a male relative. Partly because covering rape culture has been a staple of my work for many years. And yes, partly because I have a daughter. No, I didn’t start caring about feminism just because she was born and I had an epiphany that women were people too. However, I do live constantly with the fear of her entering a world that treats her gender as objects and second-class citizens.

"Tell an adult" doesn't work when the adult is condoning or is the victimizer so the author advocates immediate physical retaliation the moment that unwelcome physical contact is initiated.

I have zero confidence in any school district or legal systems to handle sexual assault on the first try. I have known a lot of women in my life, and nary a one of them who has been raped or sexually assaulted has ever come up to me and said, “Gee, the legal system sure did knock it out of the park the first time this happened to me.” I’ve been in the room with a freakin’ unicorn (or what the circus said was one), but I have never, ever had this scenario happen.

Now, undoubtedly, her punching Handsy McGees in their stupid, rapey faces will necessitate a conference. Schools love conferences like Hollywood producers love desperate women and uncomfortable couches. That’s fine with me. I have no problem talking about the appropriateness of my girl’s kung fu, but we are going to discuss the why. If she punched someone for calling her a name, no, that’s not cool. If she punched someone for deciding her bikini areas were public grounds, then you can go to hell. Sure, put it on her permanent record. Heck, suspend her. Last time a school decided that being needlessly sexist was a good idea, I made it national news. I can always do it again.

https://www.houstonpress.com/arts/i-dont-mind-telling-my-daughter-to-fight-back-physically-when-assaulted-9918363

[CountAllVotes]

1. My late mother taught me what to do

She told me to kick the man in-between the legs. That should take 'em down she used to say.

If it doesn't, kick 'em again in the same place and that should do it.

Sadly, I had to do what she taught me to do at one point in my life and yes, the man went down after one hard *kick* in-between the legs.

[mr_lebowski]

2. Why are you calling it 'slow dancing' in 'mandatory PE class' when that's not what the article

that you posted says ... like, at all?

I of course support this woman's stance re: her daughter but this situation was ... not that

[Apollo Zeus]

4. Two links in my OP

the first one, text link, is to this article on the Utah schools "Valentine's Day" dance during which an admin told an 11-YO girl that "There’s no saying no in here."

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8055989/Mother-outraged-daughters-school-principal-forces-dance-boy-didnt-like.html

[mr_lebowski]

6. That's the one I read ... nothing about 'slow dancing in mandatory PE class'

It says the kids don't have to go to the Valentines Dance if they or their parents don't agree with the rule. It's neither PE class, nor is it mandatory.

What I wanna know is why are 11 year olds even having school dances? I never had a school dance til Junior High. That seems real young, esp. the kind of dance that has 'slow dancing'.

I think the school avoids the problem they think they're 'solving' by having the policy ... BY NOT HAVING THE DANCES.

Seems a lot simpler.

[Apollo Zeus]

12. Had to re-read it

and you're right. I went beyond what is there:

"school hosts three dances a year as part of the physical education curriculum." and they are in physical contact while dancing but that could be ballroom style dancing, eg hand to hand and other hand to waist.

We had dancing in grade school - square dancing and ballroom. Public school in NY.

[mr_lebowski]

13. Dancing in the context of classes to teach kids styles of dancing ... like square or ballroom ...

That's different ... and in that scenario, during the school day ... I would expect to see a scenario where no 'favorites' are played. That would make sense or at least be justifiable.

I think the school is silly to have after-hours dances for 11 year olds, with slow dancing allowed ... for this very reason. Once you get to Junior High, I think you're old enough to accept that not every girl wants to dance with you. 11 is a bit young to expose children to 'romantic rejection' ... in front of their peers ... purposefully.

They should just stop these dances, IMHO.

Or at worst, parents should understand the rules, and only allow their kids to go if they AND their kids agree TO the rules.

[Codeine]

3. My daughter is in competitive roller derby.

Anyone stupid enough to place an unwanted hand on her is going to be in for a rude and painful awakening.

[CaptYossarian]

5. The "boys will be boys" ideology still exists in some schools.

I told my daughters to hit them in the groin with everything they've got. If they got in trouble for it, I'll be down to the school in minutes.

My wife never said a word to dispute me (first time for everything).

[irisblue]

7. Teach your kids to scream FIRE FIRE FIRE

When I was in college, studying at the Public library with a huge biology book(impt later) face in the desk carrel, a guy put his right hand on my left thigh. I hadn't been aware of him because I was studying.

I slammed the 3inch thick book on his right forearm as hard as I could, then jumped up and screamed FIRE FIRE FIRE.

Security and a whole bunch of people were there immediately. Creeper dude was cradling his right forearm with his left, security took him out of the area. I sat down and shook for awhile. I hoped I at the least cracked the bones in his forearm; I saw him months later at a bus stop, he glared at me, I flipped him off as my bus pulled away.

Screaming FIRE FIRE FIRE was something I learned in woman's self defense classes, that gets attention damn quick.


I was in my late 20s, not a kid, and that was several decades ago.


I believe kids need self defense classes and saying NO is a basic.

[keithbvadu2]

9. Good One!

[irisblue]

11. I realize that there will be people who will minimize this

But a man, a strange person, laying his hands on me, as though he had the unlimited right to my body, that has a major impact. I cannot imagine what is is for a child/young person who has a known person touch them, way more then this, how they recover.

Yeah I was not physically hurt, not raped, merely touched, and that lingered.

[Cracklin Charlie]

8. Best advice my brother ever gave me.

Three best places to hit an attacker. Nose, top of foot, groin. And, best of all...it’s okay to use it if you have to.

I actually did have to use it once, and I chose option 3. One of the best things I ever saw...that nasty guy crumpled up in a ball next to the hot water heater.

[keithbvadu2]

10. What Trump supporting republican mothers teach their sons and daughters::::

What Trump supporting republican mothers teach their sons and daughters::::

Defending Kav....
"Tell me, what boy hasn’t done this in high school?”

Would the daughter feel that she might be supported if she told mommy?

https://thehill.com/homenews/senate/407927-gop-women-issue-strong-defense-of-kavanaugh