BRING OUT YOUR DEAD! Uber and Lyft offering new hearse services.

[BamaRefugee]

Yes, it's sarcasm.
But it's capitalism, and somebody is already planning to make profits off of the panic.

[intrepidity]

1. I laughed

[58Sunliner]

2. I was thinking it was poor timing to proffer such services.

[eilen]

5. I was thinking it was perfect timing.... nt

[Renew Deal]

10. Exactly. Get in early!

[58Sunliner]

15. Not if you don't want your car to be a typhoid Mary.

[Newest Reality]

3. I want to start...

I want to start a chain of luxury euthanasia parlors that offer several, creative, enjoyable and extravagant ways to go out in style. A celebration!

They would be decked out like palaces with several Liberation Packages to choose from: Psychedelic Farewell, Titanic Deluxe, Touch the Monolith, Virtual Sky Dream, etc. Uthanageless(tm) might be a good name.

I just need lots of funding and enough lobbyists to pass a Commercially Assisted Freedom Act.

[BamaRefugee]

6. For Trump lovers, may we offer the TANGERINE TAKE-OFF?

[brewens]

12. Did you ever see Soylent Green? James Cagney's last role and last scene was in the euthenasia

clinic.

[Wounded Bear]

16. Not Cagney...Edward G. Robinson...

[brewens]

22. Got me. Now that you say that, I wonder why I was thinking Cagney. I even have my own copy

of that on DVD.

[Newest Reality]

19. Yup!

That was my initial inspiration. I wouldn't doubt if it comes to that in several decades.

[EarthFirst]

14. I'll take the Psychedelic Farewell package; please...

500 ug and a curated assortment of Grateful Dead songs; predominantly Jerry tunes...

[Newest Reality]

20. Noted!

I will put you down on our waiting list. You are rather prescient about that package and yes, we do customizations.

We aim to please and you get a money back guarantee, as well.

[jmowreader]

23. Please no. We don't have food shortages in this country

[Newest Reality]

24. The information about the remains...

I am not able to go into much detail on the exclusive and proprietary information regarding our clients remains, however, we do have some strong discount incentives planned in exchange for giving disposal consent to our company and yes, we have begun investigating protein rendering facilities in regards to recycling.

Another very lucrative market will be harvesting. It is a fact that there is a huge market for human bodies today. Estimates are that one unit, (body) has a total value in harvested resources of about $170,000. That is why our company represents a great value and offers the best promise for significant returns on your investment, now and in the future. Supply and demand are the issue here.

Our priorities will center on freewill liberation, increasing the supply of proteins and nutrients, as well as becoming a major broker and supplier of harvesting results.

If there are any professional body harvesters reading this, please contact me ASAP.

https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/usa-bodies-brokers/

[Rorey]

26. Contact me too

$170,000! Hook me up with that deal.

Edit: After reading the article I'm still on board with my family making a deal to part out my body, but it doesn't look like they'd get any more than free cremation. I dunno, though. Two of my sons are pretty good negotiators.

I've got no problem with the idea of doing "whatever" with my body after I'm done using it.

[Initech]

4. I'm surprised no one has thought of that yet!

[Grasswire2]

7. I ain't dead yet. nt

[Wounded Bear]

17. Forget about it, you liberals are always lying...

[jmowreader]

25. You heard about the guy filling in the hole on the side of the road, right?

It seems that two police officers were patrolling a back road when they saw a guy filling in a hole on the side of the road. So, they stopped to check.

"What happened, sir?"

'A whole bus load of Trump supporters ran off the road right here. They all died, so I figured I'd do the neighborly thing and bury them.'

"Are you sure they were all dead?"

'Well...most of 'em said they wasn't, but you know how Trump supporters lie.'

[Wounded Bear]

27. Dark humor is strangely apropos these days...

[MFM008]

8. But im feeling much better

Clunk.....

[halobeam]

11. LOL!

[Grasswire2]

21. "I fink I'll take a walk!"

It only takes one identifiable Holy Grail phrase to set off the whole dialogue.

[Renew Deal]

9. This was a real thing during the spanish flu

So I thought maybe...

[safeinOhio]

13. I've already seen it...

[Brother Buzz]

18. Cool beans, Harold has been looking for some meaningful employment